Posts Tagged ‘Tunbridge Wells’
May 14, 2015
Have you ever nicked a little something to remind you of a holiday? We’ve got a nice china cup pinched from a plane and YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE, BRITISH AIRWAYS. What’s yours? One listener’s stolen souvenir came with fond memories and twenty years of guilt. Find out what and why in Answer Me This! Episode 314:
Today we tackle:
tinfoil hats
dumping your training-buddy
same-sex kisses
concierges
Kendal Mint Cake vs transubstantiation
royal tins of travel sweets vs the unstoppable march of time
stealing from castles vs pissing in a stream
the silent film Wings
a Milton Keynes-themed bar
heritage crime
The Grand Budapest Hotel IRL
mummy and daddy
1995
and
giraffe heads.
Plus: though Olly prefers men to machines, he would prefer men to act like machines; Helen wouldn’t tune into a livestream of Princess Middleton giving birth; and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t have high hopes for his fellow academics on the ski slopes, unless the hopes are for a mild sprain rather than a broken arm.
As an addendum to the question about same sex kisses in films, today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) concerns the lost lesbians of Love Actually. Yes, they actually left material OUT of that sprawling collage of human emotions.
Share YOUR human emotions by sending us questions. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And join the virtual cuddle-party at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.
Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Generous!
We’ll return on 28th May 2015 with AMT315, prepare your tinfoil headphones.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT314 Child-Friendly Rating: 85%. Content clean. Swearing inventory: 2x ‘fuck’, 1x ‘shit’. 5% is deducted for each. •••
Martin the Sound Man sports a tinfoil hat at AMT100
Tags:Airbnb, aluminium foil, animals, antlers, bike rides, bikes, birth, Canterbury, castles, Catholicism, Charles & Diana, childbirth, children, Christ, colleagues, concierges, confectionery, Conservatives, conspiracy theorists, crime, crossed keys, cycling, daddy, dry skiing, Duchess of Cambridge, EastEnders, election, families, films, foil, food, food that is older than you, Freemasons, frequencies, gay, general election, giraffes, government conspiracies, hats, heritage crime, Holy Communion, homosexuality, horns, horror of childbirth, hotels, interpersonal problems, Jesus, Joe Wicks, Kate Middleton, Kendal Mint Cake, kisses, kissing, LGBT, Mad Max, memorabilia, Milton Keynes, mind control, monarchy, movies, mummy, national insurance, neighbours, old food, Oliver Dowden, Olly's dad, ossicones, parents, pine cones, politics, poshness, Prince William, Princess Middleton, races, rocks, Royal Baby, Royal Baby mania, royal family, royal weddings, royals, royalty, silent film, slowpokes, snobbery, souvenirs, sport, Squarespace, stealing, Sunday Bloody Sunday, sweets, telly, the disgusting miracle of childbirth, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The North, theft, tinfoil, tinfoil hat brigade, tinfoil hats, Tories, tourism, training, transubstantiation, travel sweets, Tunbridge Wells, TV, Uluru, vandalism, Wes Anderson, Wills'n'Kate, wings
Posted in PODCASTS | Leave a Comment »
June 19, 2013
Pack your flippers, sunblock and emergency stomach medicine, because our new album The Answer Me This! Holiday is ready to depart!
It’s 58 minutes 3 seconds of all-new material – right down to the jingles – all about holidays, vacations, minibreaks, staycations, jaunts, sojourns, escapes; whatever you like to call them. In the usual AMT style, we tackle questions about such holidayish topics as:
things to do in New York City
summer reading lists
artificial insemination for pandas
dads’ embarrassing holiday-wear
what lies behind – or, more accurately, beneath – the scenes at Disney
Legoland sculptors
why the Spanish Steps in Rome aren’t Spanish
what to expect from a Chinese breakfast
stag parties abroad
and
why the Brits are lagging behind in competitive eating contests.
Also thrown in with your all-inclusive AMT Holiday package:
• A full range of holidaywear: clip-on sunglasses, short shorts, convertible trousers, Speedos, gilets, electroejaculators;
• Classic tourist attractions: the Staten Island Ferry, Downton Abbey, Disney’s utilidors, Burghley House, the Winchester Mystery House, Flambards and A Day at the Wells;
• Delicious holiday grub: satirical breakfasts, ‘world famous’ foods, congee, Sex on the Beach, the Heart Attack Grill, pork and its tasty friends, Economy Candy;
• Delightful holiday companions: Cara Delevingne, Eugene Levy, Nancy Mitford, Adam Richman, naked mole rats, Spagna;
• Fun holiday activities: the ‘bollocks’ game at festivals, drinking games, humiliating your fellow diners, being assaulted by Mexican shots girls, trying to remember your one-night-stand’s name.
The Answer Me This! Holiday is available right now for only £2.49 from iTUNES, AMAZON, or directly from us at the Answer Me This! Store
Want to try before you fly? Here’s a sample:
Big thanks to Amy Smith and Sam Pay for the jingles and Jenny Robertshaw for the cover – and speculatively to you for buying it, because your outlay helps fund Answer Me This! (and our actual holidays).
Tags:abbeys, abroad, Adam Richman, air travel, alcohol, America, Americans, artificial insemination, Audrey Hepburn, australia, Austria, Babe: Pig in the City, bachelor parties, backpacking, bars, bartenders, bartending, beaches, behind the scenes, bollocks, books, booze, bratwurst, breakfast, breaks, brief encounters, Brits abroad, burgers, Burghley House, cafes, California, Cancun, candy, Cara Delevingne, Chico, China, Chinese food, city breaks, climate, clip-on sunglasses, clothes, clothing, cocktails, competitive eating, confectionery, congee, cool, Cornwall, country houses, customs, dads, deep-fried devils, dim sum, Disney, Disney parks, Donald Trump, Downton Abbey, drink, drinking, drinking games, drinks, eating, eating contests, Edinburgh zoo, Egypt, ejaculate, ejaculation, electroejaculation, Elf, embarrassment, endangered species, etiquette, Eugene Levy, Europe, eyewear, Facebook, fashion, fathers, festivals, fezes, films, Flambards, flights, flying, food, foreign travel, frat boys, Friends, full English breakfast, fun, gilets, Great Britain, habits, hats, Heart Attack Grill, hedonism, Highclere Castle, holidaymakers, holidays, Home Alone 2, hot dogs, humiliation, identity, islands, Italy, Japan, Japanese food, jaunts, jetlag, Judi Dench, King Kong, Las Vegas, Lego, Legoland, legs, leisure, living museums, locals, mac'n'cheese, Man V Food, Manhattan, manners, meals, meat, Merlin, Mexico, mochi, movies, museums, music festivals, naked mole rats, Nancy Mitford, New York, New York City, noodles, one night stands, Only Fools and Horses, overseas, package holidays, panda sperm, pandas, parents, period costume, Peter Sutcliffe, Piazza dei Spagna, Propofol, public displays of eating, public humiliation, publishing, pubs, reading, resorts, restaurants, rice, road trips, Roman Holiday, Rome, seasons, serendipity, sex, shame, short shorts, shorts, shot girls, shots, Spagna, Spain, Spanish Steps, Speedos, sperm-gathering, spring break, stag parties, stags, stately homes, Staten Island ferry, staying at home, summer, sun, sunglasses, sunshine, sweets, tallow, Tenerife, terms of endearment, Texas, The Hangover, theme parks, thighs, Times Square, Tom Daley, tourism, tourist attractions, tourists, tours, transatlantic, travel, traveling, trips, trousers, Tunbridge Wells, turkey, UK, USA, Utah, utilidors, vacation, Victorian England, Victorians, Vienna, visiting, visitors, visits, walking, Walt Disney, weather, Yorkshire Ripper, yoyos, zoos
Posted in albums, extracurricular activities, frippery | 12 Comments »
October 13, 2011
Hello!
We trust you have survived the past month intact, and are in peak physical and mental condition now that the time has come to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 192:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Today we consider:
the first ever YouTube video
the Vienna Museum of Pathology
Jewish French toast
Royal Wootton Bassett
intergalactic Noah’s Ark
Helen’s special cookies vs. Olly’s special pasta sauce
tourist attraction clocks
the Yellow Brick Road vs. the Red Brick Road
Diana Ross vs. Judy Garland
Tunbridge Wells vs. Telford
big ears
and
rats in space.
Plus: Olly’s love of aubergines knows only two boundaries; Helen really wants to know what is happening behind the smooth visages of human statues; and Martin the Sound Man reminisces about his days as a junior lothario, sadly before such times as he was actually interested in the ladies. Thus we learn the importance of not peaking too early.
This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is Olly voicing his OUTRAGE at Pret A Manger for withdrawing the only thing that made him want to return to Britain from Ibiza. We hope that the Pret Powers That Be have our app on their iPhones, iPads and Android devices, so that others might be saved from suffering as Olly has.
Cheer him up by sending us your QUESTIONS to fuel the new series: ask them in voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Together we will make AMT happen, oh yes we will.
See you next Thursday,
Helen & Olly
Tags:abroad, ageing, astronauts, aubergine, Austria, Brits abroad, butternut squash, children, commenting, common sense, common-law marriage, conception, cookery, crumpets, decay, decrepitude, Diana Ross, disease, Disney, Disney World, divorce, Dorothy Gale, ears, eggplant, eggs, Emerald City, fakery, films, Florida, food, Frank L Baum, Funny Video, future post-apocalyptic dystopias, futurology, genitalia, genitals, geriatrics, holidays, human body, human statues, Ibiza, internet, Jawed Karim, Judy Garland, kids, marriage, matzo, Michael Jackson, Michaelmas, monarchy, movies, museums, Nasa, new towns, old men, Olly's dad, Oz, pasta, pathology, playground, primary school, procreation, rats, Richard Pryor, royal seal of approval, royalty, Russians, Salt-N-Pepa, San Diego Zoo, school, sex, space, space travel, squash, STDs, sterilisation, STIs, street art, street performance, Telford, tests, The Wiz, The Wizard of Oz, theme parks, tinned food, tourism, town planning, towns, trolling, tuna, Tunbridge Wells, vacation, vasectomy, vegetables, videos, Vienna, waxworks, wedding rings, YouTube, yuk, zoo
Posted in PODCASTS | 4 Comments »
March 10, 2011
Hello chums,
Round here, we thought there’s no way the opening ceremony of next year’s London Olympics could be anything but a damp squib. Given our Glorious Nation’s inherent shyness, we assumed we’d be lucky if the expected pageantry ascended such heights as the whole squad doing the David Brent dance, with commentary from Myleene Klass wearing a low-cut dress and speaking only in adjectives. But au contraire, we were much mistaken! Here, in Answer Me This! Episode 170, we discover what’s going to make the Olympics go with a bang:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Accompanying the episode, like a flock of primary schoolkids wearing national dress, are topics including:
Booze Britain
Ibiza Uncovered
Winston Churchill
coffee stirrers
Jaws
dog trends
Wiesbaden
Danger UXB
monkeys in clothes
fancy-dress football
the abandoned bomb register
Jonathan Creek’s downtime
illegal snoods
the other Martin Austwick
the real-life Miss Marple
dihydroxyacetone
and
the Maillard Reaction.
Plus: Olly is silenced by booze; Helen’s not going to be winning a car anytime soon; and Martin the Sound Man intimates that the dinosaurs might have survived, if only someone had bought them little pink coats with diamante on. Martin would also like you to know that his latest album is out today, which is sadly diamante-free but not without other compensations – download or buy a special edition physical copy here.
Today’s Bit of Crap on the App is the Deleted Scenes from our chat about amateur detectives. How does one get from the FBI to Paul Ross in five easy steps? Find out for yourself on iPhone or Android.
We be wanting your QUESTIONS for next week, so send them as voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And you know what else is next week? Red Nose Day! So if you fancy a bit of pain-free fundraising (ie no climbing mountains or digging latrines or songs involving Bob Geldof), please come along to Literary Death Match on Friday 18th March, in which Helen joins Spaced alumna Jessica StevensonHynes to judge the bookish equivalent of sumo wrestling.
Helen & Olly
Tags:Agatha Christie, alcohol, Amanda Lamb, amateur detectives, animal clothing, animals, aquatic life, army, Barack Obama, bombs, booze, cars, Churchill, Cliff Richard, clothing, coffee, coffee machines, crime, Crystal Palace, Dave Gorman, David Beckham, David Bowie, detectives, dogs, drinking, emoticons, excrement, explosives, fake tan, FBI, fish, football, genitals, Germany, Graham Norton, Hitchen, Ibiza, implements, inebriation, investigation, Iraq, ITV, Jessica Fletcher, Jonathan Creek, London, London 2012, London Olympics, Luftwaffe, Madame Tussauds, marine life, military, Miriam Margolyes, Miss Marple, missions, MoD, murder, Murder She Wrote, Nazis, office politics, ointment, Olly's fake tan, Olympic Stadium, Olympics, Paul Ross, pets, Poirot, poo, prizes, San Francisco, scat, Scotland, sharks, Sharon Marshall, Sherlock, shopping malls, sister cities, skin, sleuth, sports, stupid stupid stupid, tanning, telly, the Blitz, the FA, tights, towns, Tunbridge Wells, TV, twin towns, underwear, unexploded bombs, wangs, waxworks, weapons, Winston Churchill, WWI, WWII
Posted in PODCASTS | 2 Comments »
August 12, 2010
This week, there’s no finer entertainment than the live footage of Charles Taylor’s trial at the Hague. But second in the chart, and hopefully less upsetting to Mia Farrow, is Answer Me This! Episode 145:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Amongst the evidence we disclose are such exhibits as:
Bombalurina
kopi luwak
Brixton
Gwen Stefani’s stockings
sewer gas lamps vs. energy-saving lightbulbs
Nice biscuits vs. nice biscuits vs. no biscuits
Morrison’s sausages
Inside Nature’s Giants
Ben de Lisi’s new gig
interspecies romance
crotch branding
steam power
and
the frozen pea goldfish detox
Plus: Olly teaches the etiquette demanded of an interaction with the police (1. curtsey; 2. hold your kid gloves in your left hand at all times; 3. turn widdershins only); Helen prioritises which side to expose to a wardfull of patients; and Martin the Sound Man takes a big bubbly bath in listener love for his new album (out now on iTunes, Amazon and in pretty physical form, Martyfans! Go on, make an old man very happy).
Meanwhile, over on the AMT app, there’s a question about how to smuggle a tarantula into Denmark; and in this week’s episode of Great British Questions, Olly spits tea at a sheep.
Now don’t just sit there, bursting with pent-up QUESTIONS; send them to us instead! We like them in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. They will come in really handy for Episode 146, which you can hear next Thursday; and on Tuesday, come back for the final episode of Great British Questions, in which we take toilet humour to new levels.
Byeeee!
Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to episodes • Question Archive • FAQ
• App • Facebook • Twitter • Merch Superstore • YouTube Channel •
Tags:animals, beverages, biscuits, blood, cartoons, clothes, coffee, Dan Brown, death, faeces, fish, food, frozen foods, goldfish, Haribo, hospital, Kermit the Frog, Lego, lies, meat, medical, Miss Piggy, music, New York, Olly's cat, peas, pets, police, prawn, racism, relationships, sausages, steam, subway, tea, The Sound of the Ladies, toys, Tunbridge Wells, tyres, vegetables, vets, zips, zoos
Posted in PODCASTS | 8 Comments »
June 3, 2010
We see a dark blot on the horizon. A dark, sports-shaped blot. Wimbledon AND the World Cup football in the next month? It’s too much for our sensibilities. We can’t stop it; we can’t pretend to like it; but we can prepare ourselves, so we try to limber up with a bit of tangentially sportif chitterchatter in Answer Me This! Episode 138:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Don’t worry, the majority of the content is non-sportular, including:
Project Runway
Jacques Chirac G8 Fail
Hobbycraft
Wenlock and Mandeville vs. Banksy and David Shrigley
Ped Egg vs. fungal nail infection in the Battle of the Turned Stomachs
Yoshiaki Shiraishi
massage
sitting shivah
the obscure early life of Jools Holland
NASA entry requirements
and
bacon bras.
Plus: Olly finds the present day to be lagging behind in meeting targets set in The Terminator; Helen reveals the secret that made Neil Armstrong the first man on the moon; and Martin the Sound Man is quite quiet and well-behaved because he’s really thinking about getting back to playing Red Dead Redemption. A podcast cannot come between the man and his PS3. Harrumph.
We’re looking to you to keep our spirits up in these tryingly footbally times, so please send us QUESTIONS with which to distract ourselves, in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Ta for that.
See you next Thursday!
Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to episodes • Question Archive • FAQ
• App • Facebook • Twitter • Merch Superstore • YouTube Channel •
Tags:actors, advertising, adverts, astronauts, Bob Dylan, bodies, breakfast, Britain, Carry On, crafts, cruelty, death, dole, drugs, eggs, etymology, Fail, feet, food, France, funerals, future post-apocalyptic dystopias, genitalia, geriatrics, great British underwhelmingness, hobbies, holidays, hygiene, Japan, japes, jobs, jokes, medical, music, music festivals, nudism, nudity, Olympics, peer pressure, penises, phrases, pranks, relationships, restaurants, sayings, space, space travel, sport, Springboks, Squeeze, superstition, sushi, tattoo, telly, the Beatles, the Queen, theatre, Tony Blair, Tunbridge Wells, unemployment, wakes, welfare state, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS | 10 Comments »
Answer Me This! Podcast 
EPISODE 192 – stuff they can’t include in Madame Tussauds
October 13, 2011Hello!
We trust you have survived the past month intact, and are in peak physical and mental condition now that the time has come to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 192:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Today we consider:
the first ever YouTube video
the Vienna Museum of Pathology
Jewish French toast
Royal Wootton Bassett
intergalactic Noah’s Ark
Helen’s special cookies vs. Olly’s special pasta sauce
tourist attraction clocks
the Yellow Brick Road vs. the Red Brick Road
Diana Ross vs. Judy Garland
Tunbridge Wells vs. Telford
big ears
and
rats in space.
Plus: Olly’s love of aubergines knows only two boundaries; Helen really wants to know what is happening behind the smooth visages of human statues; and Martin the Sound Man reminisces about his days as a junior lothario, sadly before such times as he was actually interested in the ladies. Thus we learn the importance of not peaking too early.
This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is Olly voicing his OUTRAGE at Pret A Manger for withdrawing the only thing that made him want to return to Britain from Ibiza. We hope that the Pret Powers That Be have our app on their iPhones, iPads and Android devices, so that others might be saved from suffering as Olly has.
Cheer him up by sending us your QUESTIONS to fuel the new series: ask them in voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Together we will make AMT happen, oh yes we will.
See you next Thursday,
Helen & Olly
• ALBUMS • CLASSIC EPISODES • BOOK • iTUNES • SOUNDCLOUD • FAQ •
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Tags:abroad, ageing, astronauts, aubergine, Austria, Brits abroad, butternut squash, children, commenting, common sense, common-law marriage, conception, cookery, crumpets, decay, decrepitude, Diana Ross, disease, Disney, Disney World, divorce, Dorothy Gale, ears, eggplant, eggs, Emerald City, fakery, films, Florida, food, Frank L Baum, Funny Video, future post-apocalyptic dystopias, futurology, genitalia, genitals, geriatrics, holidays, human body, human statues, Ibiza, internet, Jawed Karim, Judy Garland, kids, marriage, matzo, Michael Jackson, Michaelmas, monarchy, movies, museums, Nasa, new towns, old men, Olly's dad, Oz, pasta, pathology, playground, primary school, procreation, rats, Richard Pryor, royal seal of approval, royalty, Russians, Salt-N-Pepa, San Diego Zoo, school, sex, space, space travel, squash, STDs, sterilisation, STIs, street art, street performance, Telford, tests, The Wiz, The Wizard of Oz, theme parks, tinned food, tourism, town planning, towns, trolling, tuna, Tunbridge Wells, vacation, vasectomy, vegetables, videos, Vienna, waxworks, wedding rings, YouTube, yuk, zoo
Posted in PODCASTS | 4 Comments »