January 25, 2016
Gird your loins, unbutton your emotions, because the Answer Me This! Love album is OUT NOW and begging for your affections.
The album features a whole hour of love, sex, dating and genitals, and it’s all completely new AMT material that has never appeared on the podcast. Such as:
♥ Is it appropriate to buy sexy clothes for your mum?
♥ How do you make putting on a condom fun?
♥ Just what is in that liquid squirting out of your girlfriend?
♥ When you’ve lost your engagement ring, how best to style it out?
♥ Is your partner’s schoolgirl fetish something you should worry about? It’s not like he’s a teacher – oh, he is? Oh.
♥ How do you set up a blind date when you’re a blind dater?
♥ How can anyone feel horny at the prospect of a vagina bristling with sharp, spiky horns?
♥ What’s the best point of a wedding ceremony to call it off?
♥ How do they come up with all those lines on Take Me Out?
♥ What is your exhibitionist housemate really trying to show you?
♥ How many holes should there be in a penis?
Here’s a little preview:
Any further questions?
♥ Is this album suitable for me if I’m not at all in the mood for love, sex, or interacting with humanity at all?
YES. If all these people were having such a great time, they wouldn’t be writing to us, would they?
♥ Is this album child-friendly?
HELL NO.
♥ Will this album teach me what it’s like to have the Olly Mann Valentine’s Experience?
YES.
♥ Will Helen say the word ‘urethra’ so many times, I will feel a bit sick?
MAYBE.
You can get it from iTunes and Amazon, but if you want all of your money to go to us and none to Megacorp, buy it directly from the AMT Store.
Tags:albums, AMT Love, animals, aphrodisiacs, arousal, attraction, bathroom, bawdy, blind dates, blindness, bodies, bodily fluids, bodily functions, body parts, boner killers, boners, cards, catchphrases, chat-up lines, chatting up, chemistry, children, cleft palates, climax, clothes, cohabitation, coming, condoms, consent, contraception, contraceptives, courting, courtship, culture, cunnilingus, dates, dating, dating shows, dicks, double dick dude, dressed lobster, dressing up, ejaculate, ejaculation, email, embarrassment, emotions, engagement, engagement rings, erotic, etiquette, etymology, exhibitionism, exhibitionists, families, family, fantasies, fantasy, female ejaculation, fetishes, first moves, flatmates, flirting, fluids, frustration, garments, gender, genitalia, genitals, getting married, gifts, goats, greetings cards, Groupon, Guelphs, honesty, hormones, horns, horny, housemates, internet dating, Japan, Japanese, Kinky Boots, love, lovemaking, lovers, magic tricks, manners, marriage, meat markets, medicine, meeting people, men, messages, Mother's Day, motherhood, mothers, mum, naked, narwhals, nether regions, networking, nudity, nurses, objectification, Olly's mum, online dating, open relationships, oral sex, orgasms, Paddy McGuinness, parents, partners, partnerships, Patrick Macnee, penises, physical, pick-up, prawn, presents, professional, prophylactics, registrars, relations, relationships, relatives, romance, roommates, school, sex, sexual, sexual awakenings, sexual fantasies, sexuality, sexy, sexy nurses, sexy schoolgirls, showers, shy, shyness, sight, Skene's glands, spark, squirters, squirting, stimulation, students, subtlety, Take Me Out, teachers, telly, The Isle of Fernando's, too far, TV, tv shows, urethras, urine, vaginas, Valentine, Valentine's cards, Valentine's Day, vision impairment, wangs, wedding ceremonies, weddings, whoops!, women, words, workplace, writers, yuk
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May 14, 2015
Have you ever nicked a little something to remind you of a holiday? We’ve got a nice china cup pinched from a plane and YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE, BRITISH AIRWAYS. What’s yours? One listener’s stolen souvenir came with fond memories and twenty years of guilt. Find out what and why in Answer Me This! Episode 314:
Today we tackle:
tinfoil hats
dumping your training-buddy
same-sex kisses
concierges
Kendal Mint Cake vs transubstantiation
royal tins of travel sweets vs the unstoppable march of time
stealing from castles vs pissing in a stream
the silent film Wings
a Milton Keynes-themed bar
heritage crime
The Grand Budapest Hotel IRL
mummy and daddy
1995
and
giraffe heads.
Plus: though Olly prefers men to machines, he would prefer men to act like machines; Helen wouldn’t tune into a livestream of Princess Middleton giving birth; and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t have high hopes for his fellow academics on the ski slopes, unless the hopes are for a mild sprain rather than a broken arm.
As an addendum to the question about same sex kisses in films, today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) concerns the lost lesbians of Love Actually. Yes, they actually left material OUT of that sprawling collage of human emotions.
Share YOUR human emotions by sending us questions. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And join the virtual cuddle-party at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.
Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Generous!
We’ll return on 28th May 2015 with AMT315, prepare your tinfoil headphones.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT314 Child-Friendly Rating: 85%. Content clean. Swearing inventory: 2x ‘fuck’, 1x ‘shit’. 5% is deducted for each. •••
Martin the Sound Man sports a tinfoil hat at AMT100
Tags:Airbnb, aluminium foil, animals, antlers, bike rides, bikes, birth, Canterbury, castles, Catholicism, Charles & Diana, childbirth, children, Christ, colleagues, concierges, confectionery, Conservatives, conspiracy theorists, crime, crossed keys, cycling, daddy, dry skiing, Duchess of Cambridge, EastEnders, election, families, films, foil, food, food that is older than you, Freemasons, frequencies, gay, general election, giraffes, government conspiracies, hats, heritage crime, Holy Communion, homosexuality, horns, horror of childbirth, hotels, interpersonal problems, Jesus, Joe Wicks, Kate Middleton, Kendal Mint Cake, kisses, kissing, LGBT, Mad Max, memorabilia, Milton Keynes, mind control, monarchy, movies, mummy, national insurance, neighbours, old food, Oliver Dowden, Olly's dad, ossicones, parents, pine cones, politics, poshness, Prince William, Princess Middleton, races, rocks, Royal Baby, Royal Baby mania, royal family, royal weddings, royals, royalty, silent film, slowpokes, snobbery, souvenirs, sport, Squarespace, stealing, Sunday Bloody Sunday, sweets, telly, the disgusting miracle of childbirth, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The North, theft, tinfoil, tinfoil hat brigade, tinfoil hats, Tories, tourism, training, transubstantiation, travel sweets, Tunbridge Wells, TV, Uluru, vandalism, Wes Anderson, Wills'n'Kate, wings
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