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EPISODE 307: a rubber glove with no fingers

February 5, 2015

Overshadowed by a special guest appearance from Missy Elliott*, here’s Answer Me This! Episode 307:

*Not really. She refuses to respond to our postcards.

On today’s question-answering slate:

female strippers
male strippers
drupes
Grumpy Cat
beckoning cats
Cats
Lil Bub: the Chris Martin of cats
Ben Lashes
fast food delivery
wedding diplomacy
Happy Meal toys
Ronald McDonald vs Carol Vorderman
human beatboxing
coconuts
and
Femidoms.

Plus: Olly’s brain or his wang can be stimulated, but never at the same time; Helen could have been the late-90s Beanie Baby trading magnate of Tunbridge Wells; and Martin the Sound Man exercises uncharacteristic restraint in the face of a question about beatboxing. Though he still manages to sound like he’s polishing a window with his own spit.

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App contains further contemplation of memes and cats and the internet’s favourite/Helen’s least favourite, cat memes. Hear on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Use it use it use it!

With every fibre of our being, we yearn for your QUESTIONS. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Join us in the vale of online friendship at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll be here with AMT308 on 19th February, hopefully you will be too.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT307 Child-Friendly Rating: 39%. Swearing, strippers AND Femidoms. Maybe not. •••

PS As it sleets down upon the steeple of the AMT stronghold, here is Olly in more clement climes modelling this year’s hot look in drupes:

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Tags:advertising, animals, apricots, awkward, bachelor parties, beatboxing, beckoning cats, Ben Lashes, birth control, Carol Vorderman, cats, Cats the musical, China, Chinese, clubs, coconut, coffee, condoms, contraception, contraceptives, degradation, diplomacy, Disney, Doge, Domino's, Doop, drupes, family, fast food, Femidoms, food, food delivery, fruit, Grumpy Cat, Happy Meal, Happy Meal toys, human beatbox, internet, Japan, Japanese, junk food, Keyboard Cat, KFC, Lil Bub, lucky cats, male strippers, mangoes, marriage, McDonald's, memes, micropenis, mother of the bride, mothers, Nirvana, nuts, Nyan Cat, objectification, parents, people being dicks about weddings, performance, pets, pizza, Ronald McDonald, runners, Russell Brand, shoe policies, speeches, Squarespace, stag dos, stag parties, stags, stone fruits, strip clubs, strippers, stripping, tact, Tardar Sauce, The Graduate, toys, TS Eliot, Uber, waving cats, wedding speeches, weddings
Posted in PODCASTS | 3 Comments »

All aboard for our NEW ALBUM

June 19, 2013

Pack your flippers, sunblock and emergency stomach medicine, because our new album The Answer Me This! Holiday is ready to depart!

It’s 58 minutes 3 seconds of all-new material – right down to the jingles – all about holidays, vacations, minibreaks, staycations, jaunts, sojourns, escapes; whatever you like to call them. In the usual AMT style, we tackle questions about such holidayish topics as:

things to do in New York City
summer reading lists
artificial insemination for pandas
dads’ embarrassing holiday-wear
what lies behind – or, more accurately, beneath – the scenes at Disney
Legoland sculptors
why the Spanish Steps in Rome aren’t Spanish
what to expect from a Chinese breakfast
stag parties abroad
and
why the Brits are lagging behind in competitive eating contests.

Also thrown in with your all-inclusive AMT Holiday package:

• A full range of holidaywear: clip-on sunglasses, short shorts, convertible trousers, Speedos, gilets, electroejaculators;
• Classic tourist attractions: the Staten Island Ferry, Downton Abbey, Disney’s utilidors, Burghley House, the Winchester Mystery House, Flambards and A Day at the Wells;
• Delicious holiday grub: satirical breakfasts, ‘world famous’ foods, congee, Sex on the Beach, the Heart Attack Grill, pork and its tasty friends, Economy Candy;
• Delightful holiday companions: Cara Delevingne, Eugene Levy, Nancy Mitford, Adam Richman, naked mole rats, Spagna;
• Fun holiday activities: the ‘bollocks’ game at festivals, drinking games, humiliating your fellow diners, being assaulted by Mexican shots girls, trying to remember your one-night-stand’s name.

The Answer Me This! Holiday is available right now for only £2.49 from iTUNES, AMAZON, or directly from us at the Answer Me This! Store

Want to try before you fly? Here’s a sample:

Big thanks to Amy Smith and Sam Pay for the jingles and Jenny Robertshaw for the cover – and speculatively to you for buying it, because your outlay helps fund Answer Me This! (and our actual holidays).

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Tags:abbeys, abroad, Adam Richman, air travel, alcohol, America, Americans, artificial insemination, Audrey Hepburn, australia, Austria, Babe: Pig in the City, bachelor parties, backpacking, bars, bartenders, bartending, beaches, behind the scenes, bollocks, books, booze, bratwurst, breakfast, breaks, brief encounters, Brits abroad, burgers, Burghley House, cafes, California, Cancun, candy, Cara Delevingne, Chico, China, Chinese food, city breaks, climate, clip-on sunglasses, clothes, clothing, cocktails, competitive eating, confectionery, congee, cool, Cornwall, country houses, customs, dads, deep-fried devils, dim sum, Disney, Disney parks, Donald Trump, Downton Abbey, drink, drinking, drinking games, drinks, eating, eating contests, Edinburgh zoo, Egypt, ejaculate, ejaculation, electroejaculation, Elf, embarrassment, endangered species, etiquette, Eugene Levy, Europe, eyewear, Facebook, fashion, fathers, festivals, fezes, films, Flambards, flights, flying, food, foreign travel, frat boys, Friends, full English breakfast, fun, gilets, Great Britain, habits, hats, Heart Attack Grill, hedonism, Highclere Castle, holidaymakers, holidays, Home Alone 2, hot dogs, humiliation, identity, islands, Italy, Japan, Japanese food, jaunts, jetlag, Judi Dench, King Kong, Las Vegas, Lego, Legoland, legs, leisure, living museums, locals, mac'n'cheese, Man V Food, Manhattan, manners, meals, meat, Merlin, Mexico, mochi, movies, museums, music festivals, naked mole rats, Nancy Mitford, New York, New York City, noodles, one night stands, Only Fools and Horses, overseas, package holidays, panda sperm, pandas, parents, period costume, Peter Sutcliffe, Piazza dei Spagna, Propofol, public displays of eating, public humiliation, publishing, pubs, reading, resorts, restaurants, rice, road trips, Roman Holiday, Rome, seasons, serendipity, sex, shame, short shorts, shorts, shot girls, shots, Spagna, Spain, Spanish Steps, Speedos, sperm-gathering, spring break, stag parties, stags, stately homes, Staten Island ferry, staying at home, summer, sun, sunglasses, sunshine, sweets, tallow, Tenerife, terms of endearment, Texas, The Hangover, theme parks, thighs, Times Square, Tom Daley, tourism, tourist attractions, tourists, tours, transatlantic, travel, traveling, trips, trousers, Tunbridge Wells, turkey, UK, USA, Utah, utilidors, vacation, Victorian England, Victorians, Vienna, visiting, visitors, visits, walking, Walt Disney, weather, Yorkshire Ripper, yoyos, zoos
Posted in albums, extracurricular activities, frippery | 12 Comments »

EPISODE 255 – you can’t build up to the Shewee

May 2, 2013

Hello listeners,

We really hope you didn’t first hear the sad news about JLS on Answer Me This! Episode 255. If you did, please accept our condolences at this difficult time.

Through our veil of grief, today we discuss:

fruit PDA
inappropriate gifts
Volvos
proofreading Pitbull’s party anthems
Pop Star to Deer Farmer
Abz from 5ive
bangs
Andre 3000 + Beyonce covering Winehouse
porn prodigies
Paul Torrisi
Olly’s mum’s sex tips
and
Olly’s cat’s arsehole.

Plus: Olly’s not so much house-hunting as Costco cupboard-hunting; Michelle Obama makes Helen weepy; and if unlike Martin the Sound Man’s parents you DO want to listen to his albums, get them from thesoundoftheladies.com. Perfect soundtrack for gardening and cat funerals.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we consider the ridiculousness of reading about Web 2.0 via Web 0.0, ie print media, which is going the way of JLS before too long.

We don’t intend to go anywhere soon, though, so do send us your QUESTIONS for forthcoming episodes: leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Bye!

Helen & Olly

PS Revisit our previous discourse about the male and female symbols in AMT96 and JLS in AMT187.

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Tags:5ive, Abz, Alex James, Amy Winehouse, ancient gods, Ancient Rome, Andre 3000, anus, art, Aston Merrygold, awkward, bands, bangs, Beyonce, birthday presents, bisexuality, bodily functions, bottoms, boundaries, boybands, break-ups, cars, clubs, comments, Costco, couples, deer, equine, erotica, families, family, fringes, fruit, gifts, hair, hair styles, homosexuality, horses, innuendo, International Love, iron, JB Gill, JLS, Latin, literature, M&S, Mars, Marvin Humes, Michelle Obama, multiple sclerosis, music, novels, Olly's cat, One Direction, optimism, Oritse Williams, parents, party anthems, Paul Torrisi, PDA, Pitbull, pop, pop bands, prawn, prodigy, reality tv, romance, Romans, Rupert Grint, sex, sexuality, Shewee, Simon Cowell, SoundCloud, splits, stag parties, symbols, telly, the apprentice, The Big Reunion, The Voice, venison, Volvo, weapons, Will.I.Am, X Factor, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS | 4 Comments »

EPISODE 194 – interesting dioramas

October 27, 2011

Hello listeners,

In cities the world over, people are staging sit-ins; so naturally we followed suit, and sat in AMT Towers to produce Answer Me This! Episode 194. Yeah, we’re sticking it to The Man!

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week, we talk of:

naughty nuns
Going for Gold
The Lion King 3D
fancy dress pitfalls
AFoLs (Adult Fans of Lego)
standard deviation in men’s haircuts
Cornish separatists
Victorian vaginas
Hans Zimmer
high tea
L7
the pink British Empire
impersonating a police officer
John Suchet (NOT David Suchet)
the true meaning of ‘fascinating’
ALF the Alien vs. nipple tassels
and
Southall’s antique jamrags.

Plus: Olly’s suspicions are proven correct that the perennially awful Rosemary Daniels did not get into Neighbours on merit; Helen’s not going to allow someone else to have the pleasure of waving sharp blades close to her head, thankyou very much; and Martin the Sound Man fleetingly refers to ‘The Bill Callahan Effect’. Don’t worry if you’ve never heard of this phenomenon: it is familiar to precisely one person, and that person is Martin. Well done, Martin, for tapping into the popular consciousness so very effectively.

On this week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhones, iPads and Android devices) you can find out what costume you need to be sexy, smart AND snug on Halloween. Clue: it involves tweed and elbow patches. Ring-a-ding-ding!

Like the greedy greedy bankers, we are greedy – for your QUESTIONS! Leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and don’t worry about the consequences: us having a big coffer full of questions will not mean that 99% of the populace has to struggle on without questions at all. Especially as we’ll be giving those questions BACK in next week’s episode, plus interest (answers). In the AMT economy, nobody has to suffer.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly