Posts Tagged ‘music’

EPISODE 366: cornea flap

October 4, 2018

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Landlord trouble! We’ve all had it, right? But have you ever had it as bad as the questioneer in Answer Me This! Episode 366? We also chat about:

hand models
leg models
doppelgangers
the shins closing The Bill
Land of the Rising Sun
House of the Rising Sun
being square
LASIK
passion fruit nailed to the cross
young Dames and Lords
seeing your pop song become a politician’s anthem
and
a dead body in your living room.

In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – Olly’s dad gets burnt by his celeb lookalike.

Check in with our other work: Olly hosts The Modern Mann; and Helen and Martin are performing the Allusionist live show on stages in the US and Canada this month – check where and when at theallusionist.org/events.

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring the show, and for making it so easy to set up a good-looking website for your projects. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Send us your QUESTIONS: any time, deliver a voice memo or a written question by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can still use the old ways of calling the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, but a lot of those messages haven’t been reaching us lately. So emailing a voice memo is the safer bet.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT367 on 1 November 2018, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 18 October.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT366 Child-Friendly Rating: 75%. A handful of swears; no bawdy talk. •••

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EPISODE 362: everything is paste

May 3, 2018

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Hello pets! This month is the British Podcast Awards, and you can vote for AMT in the Listeners’ Choice category, you know, if you choose to. Click here to do it. If you need to remember why you love us, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 362. Today we consider:

Meghan Markle’s citizenship post-marriage
My Dad Ate A Pringle
baked bean hummus
celebs in specs
labyrinths vs mazes
atheism vs romance
God Save The Queen vs My Country ‘Tis Of Thee vs every other bloody country’s anthem with the same tune
dangerous beans
King Minos’s palace
Princess Michael’s brooch
El Parador (try the broad bean paste!)
and
a life-sized cutout of Kylie Minogue.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we continue our Beanchat, and learn about keeping deer out of your flowerbeds, deflating a swollen scrotum, and this predicament that Helen’s eyelid got itself into.

Check in with our other work: Helen and Martin are on stage in the next few weeks, with Radiotopia in the eastern USA, the Bugle in the western USA, and the Allusionist in Australia in June. You can check where and when and how at theallusionist.org/events. Hear the modern Olly Mann on The Modern Mann at modernmann.co.uk.

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring the show, and for making it so easy to set up a good-looking website for your projects. Visit squarespace.com/answer; play around during the two-week free trial; then when you’re ready to buy your website or domain, you can have get 10% off your first purchase with the discount code ‘answer‘.

If you are in the UK, you can also get two free Audible audiobooks if you go to answermethispodcast.com/audible. Remember to set a calendar alert for 29 June so you get this done before the 30 June 2018 deadline!

There’s no deadline for sending us your QUESTIONS: any time, deliver a voice memo or a written question by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can still use the old ways of calling the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, but a lot of those messages haven’t been reaching us lately. So emailing a voice memo is the safer bet.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT363 on 7 June 2018, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 24 May.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT362 Child-Friendly Rating: 80%. Nothing too scandalous in this one. •••

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EPISODE 353: bike on fire

August 3, 2017

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NOTE: Answer Me This! Episode 353 was recorded BEFORE Justin Bieber announced he was cancelling the rest of his tour. We didn’t mean to add to your grief with mild Bieb-teasing. Because today, we tackle the meaning of ‘Despacito‘, along with other phenomena like:

fake holiday resort booze
Competitive Dad
Tube emergencies worthy of sounding the alarm
wedding bloodshed vs your journalistic instincts
your body = manuscript
understudies
beating your kids at board games
apples for teacher
and
your mum’s glory hole.

Plus: Olly’s rock’n’roll dreams came true at the Meat Loaf jukebox musical he has been waiting for all his life; Helen favours drama over romance in wedding photos; and Martin the Sound Man goes on about ducks’ vaginas as if that’s a normal thing to do.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – the seven-year-old Olly Mann attempts to invent the new Monopoly, only to be thwarted by his unintentionally saucy choice of name.

Want to hear more from us? There’s the retro AMT episode we throw into your feed mid-month, which right now is the landmark AMT100; to get it, subscribe to AMT on your podcatcher of choice. All of our back catalogue is available from answermethisstore.com, along with our special albums including the AMT Holiday – the real soundtrack to your summer, shut up ‘Despacito’.

Want to SEE us, or at least two of the three of us? Come to the London Podcast Festival next month: tickets are on sale now for Helen’s live Allusionist and Martin’s Song By Song, featuring Helen and John Hodgman. And Helen will appear with her brother Andy on the live Bugle, so give yourself a very Zaltzman weekend of entertainment.

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode, and for making spiffy websites so easy to build. Try for yourself: play around during the two-week free trial, then get 10% off Squarespace’s website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis. Our voicemail greeting has been removed thanks to Technological Advances, but that’s still the way to reach us. Or, if you prefer, you can send us a voice memo or a written question or one of your rogue wedding photos (oh go on, pleeeease): email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT354 on 7 September 2017, and with a Retro AMT episode on 24 August.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT353 Child-Friendly Rating: 17%. In the first few minutes, there are contemplations of innuendo-laden song lyrics, glory holes and duck vaginas. And the discussion of letting your kids win at boardgames may tip off your children to the possibility that you’re playing them. •••

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EPISODE 351: scary worm

June 1, 2017

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Hello, listeners! Answer us this: how would you define ‘Afternoon Delight’?

1. Settling down to watch Countdown with a nice cup of tea (not Lipton) and a nice biscuit (not one that gives you a 20-year-long health fear)?
2. Bit of post-lunch pre-dinner nookie?
3. Listening to Answer Me This! Episode 351, admittedly a delight at any hour of the day?

Today we speak of:

smelly books
the Twitter blue verified tick
Olly Mann vs his more successful and accomplished friend Tom Price
the Intervision Song Contest
artificial Oval Offices
articifical Houses of Commons
medieval dragons
stoned dads
Lipton tea
Afternoon Delight‘ in Anchorman, Glee, Good Will Hunting
and
The Beatles in The Jungle Book?

Plus: Olly has a great tip for maximising your chances of competing in Eurovision; Helen recounts her life’s proudest achievement, no thanks to Lipton; and Martin the Sound Man is a WINNER. Whether you enjoy the works of Tom Waits or not, listen to Martin’s award-winning podcast Song By Song at songbysongpodcast.com.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – Helen gets thrown out of a nightspot for not having the right ID. That’s 37-year-old teetotaller Helen.

Want to hear more from us? There’s the retro AMT episode we throw into your feed mid-month; to get it, subscribe to AMT on your podcatcher of choice. All of our back catalogue is available from answermethisstore.com, along with our special albums including the AMT Sports Day.

Listen to our other work, too, eg Olly’s The Week Unwrapped and The Modern Mann, Helen’s Allusionist, and Martin’s AWARD-WINNING Song By Song.

Thanks to our sponsor Squarespace.com. After putting off building herself a website, AT LAST listener Anna swept aside her inner resistance/fear/laziness, went ahead and created karakalou.com to showcase her artwork (here’s her portrait of The Zaltzwoman). She got 10% off Squarespace’s website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘. Be smart like Anna! Do it! Now! Or in a few minutes! But do it then! What are you waiting for – a free lollipop? Maybe Squarespace will give you one if you stop procrastinating.

Send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT352 on 6 July 2017, and with a Retro AMT on 22 June.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT351 Child-Friendly Rating: 48%. Some swears, sex and drug references; endorsement of non-essential teabag theft, which may send your offspring down the wrong path. •••

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EPISODE 344: shining the silver

November 17, 2016

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Cuddle up, listeners. Recorded on the day of the US election before the result came in, Answer Me This! Episode 344 is a relic of the pre-Trump era, in which we blithely speak of:

Savoy cabbage
Savoy Theatre
Savoy Hotel
Savoyterranean Homesick Blues
Argos’s finest tractor mower
‘Staying Alive’
Napoleon Dynamite vs Black Swan
zombie cockroaches
Concorde 2
zesty Richard Blackwood
and
where is Condoleezza Rice?

Plus: Olly will lie through his artificially whitened teeth to get on the radio; Helen was lured onto Late Night Womanʼs Hour under false pretences; and Martin the Sound Man used to love a good read of the Argos Catalogue.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App, Olly describes his happy place. Yes, it is Disney-related. Get the app for your iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

Shop for our first 200 episodes or our albums at answermethisstore.com. Also remember to get yourself a free Audible audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@ googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 1 December with AMT345,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT344 Child-Friendly Rating: 84%. No bawd, and few – if any – swears (sorry, we weren’t really paying attention). •••

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EPISODE 342: millionaires dicking around

October 20, 2016

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What do you do when your friend has fallen for a pathological liar? Do you a) confront the fibber with evidence of their deceit, or b) write to a comedy podcast? It’s fairly easy for you to find out: just listen to Answer Me This! Episode 342, in which we also discuss:

dining with babies
dining with strangers’ shitty babies
the Oscars Curse
Jenny Beavan’s red carpet look
supergroups on superyachts
gregarious egregious Gregs
and
the advantage of the cupcake

Plus: Olly betrayed his former self by not doing his wedding dance to ‘The Snooker Song‘ from The Hunting of the Snark; Helen is giving away a dead good podcast idea; and Dave Stewart is not welcome to shit up Martin the Sound Man’s supergroup.

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is about a bit of crap on a lot of kitchen worktops: spiralisers, the existence of which is irking Gemma from Cannock (yes, yes, Martin; the town in the West Midlands to which 80s popstar Tiffany moved after her heyday). Get the app for your iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

We’re open for business at answermethisstore.com if you want to buy our first 200 episodes or our albums. You can also give us money without having to give us any of your own money if you get yourself a FREE AUDIOBOOK for you at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 2 November with AMT343,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT342 Child-Friendly Rating: 66%. A smattering of swears. Low on crudity. •••

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EPISODE 341: sensational sausage

October 6, 2016

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In Answer Me This! Episode 341, Olly has some big news. Is it about his cat? Is it about an amazing bargain he bought at Costco?? Is it about a fake tan spray that never fades??? Is it even better than any of those things????

We also deal with questions concerning:

frogs’ legs
frogs’ bodies
Jamie Oliver’s jollies
McDonald’s fries
Dirty Diana Ross vs Dirty Diana, Princess of Wales
Whoppers vs Big Macs
Disneyland Paris
ham-places
delicious Polish food in Birmingham
and
giant potatoes.

Plus: there is a third in Olly’s relationship, and it is an app for tracking ships; Helen refuses to be bore-shamed; and Martin the Sound Man done a joke, so adopt the brace position.

Today’s bumper Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is more of Olly’s Big News, so join the festivities on your iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

We’re open for business at answermethisstore.com if you want to buy our first 200 episodes or our albums. You can also give us money without having to give us any of your own money if you get yourself a FREE AUDIOBOOK for you at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 22 October with AMT342,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT341 Child-Friendly Rating: 57%. Not deeply obscene but generally a bit vulgar. •••

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EPISODE 338: space cake

August 25, 2016

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Your mother’s been given some free space cake but she doesn’t want to fail her workplace’s random drug tests. What should she do? In Answer Me This! Episode 338, we tackle this question as well as such issues as:

Olympic medals
Olympic rings
human urine vs cat urine
marriage vs Masada
capital city compromises
having a lot of weddings
popping your pussy
pole vault penis problems
IKEA product names
and
things to do with egg yolks.

Plus: Olly’s interest in sport is exhausted for another four years; Helen would rather be left with a yolk than an eggwhite; and Martin the Sound Man’s feet are irresistible to Harvey Mann. Another Fergie-style scandal in the making?

If, like Harvey, you can’t get enough of Martin the Sound Man, get our app – available on iThings, Android and Windows devices – because today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is the tale of Martin’s recent triumphant mission to Coinstar. Guess how much! Go on, guess!

And guess how many classic episodes of AMT await you at answermethisstore.com? 200! If you buy any of them, or our special albums – eg the AMT Sports Day or Answer Me This! Holiday or AMT Love – you’re both audiotaining yourself AND helping to support the show. Likewise if you get yourself a free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 8 September with AMT339,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT338 Child-Friendly Rating: 27%
Contains sex, drugs and swearing. •••


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EPISODE 335: you cannot patent drinking and urinating

July 14, 2016

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Who let the dogs out? And who got the dogs stoned? We address these very important canine questions in Answer Me This! Episode 335, along with others more about:

Lego love, lost
wedding gambling
Soda Stream vs Nutribullet
pissing dolls vs pissing Elmo
theatre-adjacent Italian restaurants
the Crystal Palace pizza district
Tony Awards for Tonys
Oscar Isaac
Oscar Hammerstein II
and
Oscar seatfillers.

Plus: Olly is DONE with Star Wars, so don’t even bother; Helen is waiting for the Emmys to introduce a podcasting category; and Martin the Sound Man could improve his gifting game.

Need something to ease you off the thrill of the Wimblesport, or hype you up for the imminent Olympics? Try the AMT Sports Day album from answermethisstore.com, where you can also purchase our other albums and episodes 1-200 – including AMTs 186 and 187 for the full Owl City experience by proxy. And remember to get your free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 28 July with AMT336,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT335 Child-Friendly Rating: 72%. Only a swear or two, but there is discussion of drugs, gambling and disrespectful sexual behaviour. •••

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EPISODE 334: Earth Mysteries

June 30, 2016

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While Britain Brexits, the rest of us brick it. Well, one listener certainly does, as the proud owner of a single brick. Congratulations, that man! We’re glad one listener in Answer Me This! Episode 334 is happy, at least. Others have trouble with:

public sex
haircuts in space
Apple Store geniuses
buttercups
the Pilton Glastonbury Festival
gravity vs hair-washing
wind chimes
ambient noise apps
queening
Eiffel Towering
Jeff Lynne
and
the price of clay.

Plus: Olly attends a Barry Manilow rally; Helen makes clear the relationship between her and podcast listeners; and Martin the Sound Man manages to sully both sexy role play and the Apple Store in one line.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices), Olly is perplexed by the logistics of ‘queening’, and we wonder about the admin of having a particularly thrilling sex life.

For an easier-to-organise thrill, get the AMT Sports Day album from answermethisstore.com, where you can also purchase our other albums and episodes 1-200. And treat yourself to a free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible, to drown out the sound of Britain sticking its hand into the toaster and screaming with surprise when it hurts.

You can also spot a bit of Glastonbury in the Romance instalment of our Great* British Questions series of videos from a few years ago.

*sob!

Oh, and Martin did a song about a brick.

Got questions? Call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 14 July with AMT335,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT334 Child-Friendly Rating: 5%. Contains the earliest swear ever in an episode of AMT. Blame Brexit. •••

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EPISODE 331: wanking doesn’t change

January 28, 2016

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With Olly’s baby poised to make his entrance into this world, Answer Me This! Episode 331 is our last episode before our three-month paternity leave, while Olly adjusts to fatherhood and Helen adjusts to going outside occasionally. Savour answers about:

lads’ mags
cereal toys
spotting the stars of tomorrow as they toil at the Disney parks
‘For He’s as dead as a herring a Jolly Good Fellow’
swimming rabbits
cafes vs brasseries vs bistros
Jane Eyre vs Thelma and Louise
The Lord of the Rings road trips
Jo Guest
Tutti Frutti in 3D
ceramic babies
blue rinses
Bulgarian food
Skyrim
Kevin Costner
and
Titcoin.

Plus: we’ve birthed a new album! AMT Love is out now, and you can read all about it and click to buy it at answermethispodcast.com/love.

A question from AMT Love went astray and ended up as today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices). It’s from long-time AMT listener Ace: if you’re young, poor and in Oxford, and you want to go on a Tinder date but you don’t want it to be “Drink?” or “Coffee?”, what do you do instead? Why, you date AMT-style of course! Meet you by the singing cockroaches.

During our three months off, why not amuse yourself by starting a podcast/online store/website using today’s sponsor Squarespace.com? You can have 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year, plus a free domain thrown in, if you invoke the code ANSWER at checkout.

We will return in May, but keep in touch in the meantime at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis – which is where we will let you know the due date of AMT332 a couple of weeks ahead of time, AND where we will also post news of Baby Mann once he appears (and has been through hair and makeup, had a spray tan, and undergone intensive media training).

All together now: “For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good herring…WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY.”

Helen & Olly

••• AMT331 Child-Friendly Rating: 42%
Some swears, but pretty clean until the last ten minutes, when there’s a question about lads’ mags and top shelf publications. YOU KNOW THE ONES WE MEAN. The ones your kids are too short to reach/don’t need to reach because they can view all the proclivities of humanity on your phone that they swiped from you. •••

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The Best of AMT 2015

December 24, 2015

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Join us for a jaunt through The Best of Answer Me This! 2015, where we revisit such bright spots from the year as:

Paul Simon Says
Buddha, fat and thin
the Stephen King’s IT tattoo
the CKBLT (Chicken Kiev BLT sandwich)
Jurassic Park: The Ballet
Juliet’s balcony
Grumpy Cat
Melanie Griffith’s lion
Nicolas Cage’s octopus
Andre Rieu’s face
highlighter pen(i)s
undead Mike Oldfield
wedding +1 etiquette
Byrd Sister
Greek wine
dominatrix problems
and
olive theft.

And, as every year, there are the Previously Unheard Bits of AMT, plus our favourite: the Melancholy Voicemail Parade.

Haven’t heard the Best Of AMT collections from previous years? Get them at answermethisstore.com/best. All the hits, none of the shits!

Also while you’re at the AMT store, you can buy our classic episodes, albums and apps. By doing so, you’re supporting the show – and obliterating the howling silence, right?

Send in your questions for AMT in 2016: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return with AMT330 on 14th January 2016. Happy Christmas/New Year/early January to you all, and thanks for listening this year.

Helen & Olly

••• Best of 2015 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. As in, 50% of the content is child-friendly. The other 50% really isn’t. You know the score by now. •••

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