Posts Tagged ‘stupid stupid stupid’

EPISODE 170 – Operation Viking Snatch

March 10, 2011

Hello chums,

Round here, we thought there’s no way the opening ceremony of next year’s London Olympics could be anything but a damp squib. Given our Glorious Nation’s inherent shyness, we assumed we’d be lucky if the expected pageantry ascended such heights as the whole squad doing the David Brent dance, with commentary from Myleene Klass wearing a low-cut dress and speaking only in adjectives. But au contraire, we were much mistaken! Here, in Answer Me This! Episode 170, we discover what’s going to make the Olympics go with a bang:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Accompanying the episode, like a flock of primary schoolkids wearing national dress, are topics including:

Booze Britain
Ibiza Uncovered
Winston Churchill
coffee stirrers
dog trends
Danger UXB
monkeys in clothes
fancy-dress football
the abandoned bomb register
Jonathan Creek’s downtime
illegal snoods
the other Martin Austwick
the real-life Miss Marple
the Maillard Reaction.

Plus: Olly is silenced by booze; Helen’s not going to be winning a car anytime soon; and Martin the Sound Man intimates that the dinosaurs might have survived, if only someone had bought them little pink coats with diamante on. Martin would also like you to know that his latest album is out today, which is sadly diamante-free but not without other compensations – download or buy a special edition physical copy here.

Today’s Bit of Crap on the App is the Deleted Scenes from our chat about amateur detectives. How does one get from the FBI to Paul Ross in five easy steps? Find out for yourself on iPhone or Android.

We be wanting your QUESTIONS for next week, so send them as voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or emails to And you know what else is next week? Red Nose Day! So if you fancy a bit of pain-free fundraising (ie no climbing mountains or digging latrines or songs involving Bob Geldof), please come along to Literary Death Match on Friday 18th March, in which Helen joins Spaced alumna Jessica StevensonHynes to judge the bookish equivalent of sumo wrestling.

Helen & Olly


Reason #5000000 not to like the Stereophonics

February 26, 2010

** Click here for our Jingle Challenge **

Two doses in one day of parents making kids feel uncomfortable? Why the hell not! Here’s a distress call from Heather from Manchester:

My mum’s boyfriend says things to me like “Do you want me to come and rub your back for you in the shower?” and “Do you want to play strip poker with me?” I find this to be really inappropriate and pervy. My mum doesn’t seem to think there is anything wrong in what he says so answer me this: is he a perv or am I being unreasonable in thinking this? Also how can I stop him saying these sorts of things to me?

By the way I am 15 and he is in his late 50s.

Of course tone is important, but written down he does look a bit pervy to us; so readers, if you have any ideas to help Heather to get him to stop, please outline them in a comment below. Better yet, if you work in Social Services, pack your bags – we’ve got a little job for you in Manchester…

Seeing as we’re on this uncomfortable subject, let’s also address this question from Oliver from Cambridge:

I was listening to the Stereophonics album Language. Sex. Violence. Other? and there’s a great song on there called “Lolita”.

After wikipedia-ing the song, I found out that Kelly Jones, the lead singer, actually named his daughter Lolita – that’s right, after the sexually promiscuous 12-year-old girl in the Vladimir Nabokov novel and associated films. This struck me as a spectacularly awful name to call your daughter.

So answer me this: what children’s names have you heard that you think are terrible?

A couple of years ago, Olly met a little boy who appeared to have been named ‘Cunty’. That’s right! If you can beat that, write a comment below, and if we get enough, we’ll charter a coach to take all the unfortunates to the deed poll office.

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