In Answer Me This! Episode 377, we go looking for jokes in the Bible. It’s…a mixed bag. Plus, these informative amusements:
bull and bear Quality Street vs Quality Street
job applications vs typos
the Old Testament vs Wes Anderson
secret Jesus vs secret Adele
drying your hands
macaque fossils in NORFOLK
musical morse code clues
evil paper towels Jonah Man Jazz Swingin’ Samson
and
tucking a press pass into your hatband.
For more on the whole dead-lion-filled-with-a-beehive story, listen to Episode 191 where we talk about why Tate & Lyle’s Golden Syrup’s spokesmodel is the lion from Samson’s riddle.
In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we hear about another TV theme with Morse code secrets: to our surprise, Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em.
Listen to Olly’s podcast The Modern Mann, to hear about porn-induced erectile dysfunction and other fascinating human tales! It’s at modernmann.co.uk.
See Helen and Martin on stage! The Allusionist live tour is coming to London this month and then North America. Check theallusionist.org/events for listings; more dates will be added soon.
Also! Helen just started a new podcast: Veronica Mars Investigations, recapping every episode of Veronica Mars from the start. Get it in your podding app and at VMIpod.com.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, with which you can easily and quickly set up a good-looking website for your projects eg your Oscar-nominated documentary. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.
Have you ever nicked a little something to remind you of a holiday? We’ve got a nice china cup pinched from a plane and YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE, BRITISH AIRWAYS. What’s yours? One listener’s stolen souvenir came with fond memories and twenty years of guilt. Find out what and why in Answer Me This! Episode 314:
Today we tackle:
tinfoil hats
dumping your training-buddy
same-sex kisses
concierges Kendal Mint Cake vs transubstantiation royal tins of travel sweets vs the unstoppable march of time
stealing from castles vs pissing in a stream
the silent film Wings
a Milton Keynes-themed bar
heritage crime The Grand Budapest Hotel IRL
mummy and daddy
1995
and
giraffe heads.
Plus: though Olly prefers men to machines, he would prefer men to act like machines; Helen wouldn’t tune into a livestream of Princess Middleton giving birth; and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t have high hopes for his fellow academics on the ski slopes, unless the hopes are for a mild sprain rather than a broken arm.
As an addendum to the question about same sex kisses in films, today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) concerns the lost lesbians of Love Actually. Yes, they actually left material OUT of that sprawling collage of human emotions.
Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Generous!
We’ll return on 28th May 2015 with AMT315, prepare your tinfoil headphones.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT314 Child-Friendly Rating: 85%. Content clean. Swearing inventory: 2x ‘fuck’, 1x ‘shit’. 5% is deducted for each. •••
Martin the Sound Man sports a tinfoil hat at AMT100
After last week’s episode, Shiro wrote in to say: “Helen mentioned she had a child. I was wondering if I heard right and if i did, answer me this: what does she do with the child when you’re recording the podcast?”
Well, Shiro, in fact I keep the baby locked in a safe do not have a child, which is why you won’t hear any mysterious crying or wailing in the background of Episode 94:
[ This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
What you will hear is chitchat about:
SARS Rushmore
Geri Halliwell
dachshunds
Susan Boyle – the book?
greens
slime flu Top Chef
seminiferous tubules
Malcolm X vs Miley Cyrus
duct tape (translation: gaffer tape) Dexter
and
Matthew Pinsent’s second arse.
Plus: how Olly was the saddest rock star at his school; how Helen anthropomorphised her spacehopper; and how Martin the Sound Man is incapable of innuendo. He is always straight to the disgusting point.
Comment away below if you want to join in on Chris from Bolton’s question about interesting/expensive/different things you have held in your hands; and of course, keep your QUESTIONS coming in by calling 0208 123 5877, Skypeing answermethis or emailing us at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
And if, like us, you needed a little pick-me-up this week, there’s this non-lamented gem from the grim wastes of the 1990s:
RT @OllyMann: HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY, @retrospectorshq! 🎇
'On This Day In History, But For Millennials' was my one-line idea - but it took @vir… 2 weeks ago
RT @retrospectorshq: #onthisday in 1978, the Colonel and the KFC's owners were at legal loggerheads over his constant criticism of their fo… 2 months ago
RT @AllusionistShow: which part of a Kinder Surprise egg do you think is the most exciting part? The chocolate? The toy? No no no! @KeithKa… 2 months ago
RT @GrammarGirl: I could listen to the story of “dord” 100 times. This week, @OllyMann and friends revisit the discovery of this ghost word… 2 months ago
RT @paragonofdan: The Retrospectors has rapidly become my favorite podcast. It's the only daily show that held my attention for every episo… 3 months ago
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