Posts Tagged ‘ears’

EPISODE 327: alcopox

November 12, 2015

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Would you rather feel The Weeknd’s face or see Andy McNab’s face? Actually, you don’t have to choose; you’re probably equally capable of doing both/neither. But it’s something to think about while you listen to Answer Me This! Episode 327, in which we also deal with questions about:

party poppers
piercings vs mum’s disapproval
Sixpence None The Richer vs drug references
Olly vs his own feelings about Tom Cruise
being struck by lightning
vegetarian weddings
envious actors
humiliating ham
the moment Dr Martens ceased to be the footwear of rebels
and
Greek wine.

Plus: we learn who is Olly’s 47th favourite film star; Helen’s imaginary boyfriend didn’t even spring from her own imagination; and Martin the Teenage Physics Weirdo thinks people should express themselves through their appearance and through their weddings.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App, Olly reveals: 1. what he thinks of ‘Golden Brown’ by The Stranglers; 2. which songs make him want to piss. We know you’ve been desperate to learn these two things, so rush to the app, which is available for iThings, Android and Windows devices.

Thanks very much to today’s sponsor Squarespace.com, who’ll give you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year (and with which you get a URL, loads of storage and 24/7 support) if you stand in front of the bathroom mirror and say five times use the code ANSWER.

Send us your questions, please! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 27th November 2015 with AMT328.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT327 Child-Friendly Rating: 55%. Some swears, sex and drug references, and discussions that may encourage your offspring to modify their bodies with piercings or party poppers. •••

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Lobe’s Labours Lost

February 26, 2014

5mm-surgical-steel-flesh-tunnel_large

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Here’s a question of body adornment from Marek in Bangkok:

For the last two years and a half I’ve been living in Chongqing. It’s one of the biggest cities in China but somewhat behind when it comes to fashion trends. I’m currently in Bangkok enjoying my last days here before returning to China and I noticed something that I wanted to ask you about.

There are so many ‘alternative’ people in Bangkok, especially on Khao San road which is brimming with hipstourists, so I was wondering – what happens to your ear once you remove a tunnel from it? You know what I’m talking about, these weird pieces of jewelry that you put in your earlobe.

I was sitting next to a guy who had a tunnel in his ear and it was massive. I remember when I was leaving Europe to come to China people were also putting them in their ears, but tunnels were quite small. Apparently lots has changed since 2011…

Anyway, what happens to your ear once you decide you no longer want to look like you have Dyson’s new bladeless fan installed in your ear? I can’t imagine the hole in your ear just disappears. Or does it? Please help!

I’m no expert, and I’m still too queasy from the previous post to make a diligent effort to research, but I understand that once your flesh tunnel has been stretched beyond a certain dimension, upon removal of the ornament you’d be left with this earlobe situation:

Ear300

You could have surgery to prune your excess earlobes; or you could keep them, so that when you’re old and saggy, you can hitch them to your waistband to keep your trousers up.

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EPISODE 192 – stuff they can’t include in Madame Tussauds

October 13, 2011

Hello!

We trust you have survived the past month intact, and are in peak physical and mental condition now that the time has come to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 192:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Today we consider:

the first ever YouTube video
the Vienna Museum of Pathology
Jewish French toast
Royal Wootton Bassett
intergalactic Noah’s Ark
Helen’s special cookies vs. Olly’s special pasta sauce
tourist attraction clocks
the Yellow Brick Road vs. the Red Brick Road
Diana Ross vs. Judy Garland
Tunbridge Wells vs. Telford
big ears
and
rats in space.

Plus: Olly’s love of aubergines knows only two boundaries; Helen really wants to know what is happening behind the smooth visages of human statues; and Martin the Sound Man reminisces about his days as a junior lothario, sadly before such times as he was actually interested in the ladies. Thus we learn the importance of not peaking too early.

This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is Olly voicing his OUTRAGE at Pret A Manger for withdrawing the only thing that made him want to return to Britain from Ibiza. We hope that the Pret Powers That Be have our app on their iPhones, iPads and Android devices, so that others might be saved from suffering as Olly has.

Cheer him up by sending us your QUESTIONS to fuel the new series: ask them in voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Together we will make AMT happen, oh yes we will.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 181 – ‘Teletubbies’ meets beating off

June 30, 2011

Look. We don’t want to point fingers or anything, but if you are the person who rifled through Olly’s desk and stole the gold jacket he bought at the Strictly Come Dancing costume auction, GIVE IT BACK. It may have been years ago now, but as you can hear in Answer Me This! Episode 181, the pain is still all too raw:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week we also contemplate:

stagnant white scabs
fluorotrousers
Rhydian
grievous misuse of the Keith and the Girl book
black pudding
Black Eyed Peas
manuka honey
Henry Holland
aquarium pimp-shoes
Fruit and Fibre
Napoleon-compatible party themes
psychiatric facility reading matter
fish sausages
Baci
bees vs. babies
ice cream vs. ice lollies
globalisation vs. jokes
Seth Rogen vs. Olly Mann
our pitch for Wonderland
and
Elliott Gould.

Also – Olly’s not going to be inviting Mark Ronson on a trip to Topman anytime soon; Helen wonders about the secret life of Russell Brand and Katy Perry; and Martin the Sound Man finds the thing that keeps our conflict-strewn crazy world together: sausages. If only the UN would hurry up and realise.

This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone or Android) explains how Olly’s youthful ambition to be the next Christopher Pike was derailed by his innocence. Which is why he’s slumming it at AMT now rather than living in the gothy house that childish horror built.

You can be part of the childish horror that is next week’s episode by sending us your QUESTIONS – leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Of course we will struggle to emulate this childish horror, but it’s good to have goals in life.

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

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