Posts Tagged ‘disease’

EPISODE 248 – babies don’t hatch out of eggs

February 28, 2013

“Hey there everybody! We’ve all got bums, haven’t we? So what’s it to be: scrunch or fold? SCRUNCH OR FOLD???”

NO DON’T TELL US. Tell nobody. Find that impulse that lurks deep within yourself to vocalise your opinions upon a matter so boring, so mundane, so underwhelming an indicator of anything interesting about your character; find it, then destroy it.

Then listen to Answer Me This! Episode 248:

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Today we ponder upon:

Flu Camp
pregnancy disguises
Stevenage slush puppies (not a euphemism)
Ming Dynasty toilet paper
Joseph Gayetty
posh Pot Noodles
domestic rubbish vs. commercial rubbish
London, UK vs. London, Ontario
figure skating vs. Dancing On Ice
Tiny Toronto
and
Sergey Brin hiding in the bushes.

Plus: Olly’s lukewarm about Google Glass, but looking forward to the installation of his Google Womb; Helen believes the empire waist to be an offence to waists (and empires); and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t like the principles of Ayn Rand, he just looks like he does.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) is a question from Poppy wondering why Skittles’ latest ad campaign is targeting the people-who-eat-bodily-growths market. Cheer up, Poppy; at least they’re not suggesting you wipe your bottom with Skittles then tell them about it.

Tell us your QUESTIONS, though: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis. Then treat yourself to a free Audible audiobook as a reward. OK, you can have one anyway, for being so well-behaved (and because we receive a bit of lovely money for each of you who has one; let’s not be coy about it).

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 192 – stuff they can’t include in Madame Tussauds

October 13, 2011

Hello!

We trust you have survived the past month intact, and are in peak physical and mental condition now that the time has come to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 192:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Today we consider:

the first ever YouTube video
the Vienna Museum of Pathology
Jewish French toast
Royal Wootton Bassett
intergalactic Noah’s Ark
Helen’s special cookies vs. Olly’s special pasta sauce
tourist attraction clocks
the Yellow Brick Road vs. the Red Brick Road
Diana Ross vs. Judy Garland
Tunbridge Wells vs. Telford
big ears
and
rats in space.

Plus: Olly’s love of aubergines knows only two boundaries; Helen really wants to know what is happening behind the smooth visages of human statues; and Martin the Sound Man reminisces about his days as a junior lothario, sadly before such times as he was actually interested in the ladies. Thus we learn the importance of not peaking too early.

This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is Olly voicing his OUTRAGE at Pret A Manger for withdrawing the only thing that made him want to return to Britain from Ibiza. We hope that the Pret Powers That Be have our app on their iPhones, iPads and Android devices, so that others might be saved from suffering as Olly has.

Cheer him up by sending us your QUESTIONS to fuel the new series: ask them in voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Together we will make AMT happen, oh yes we will.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 160 – everything in the 70s was brown

December 9, 2010

Creeeeeak! What’s behind today’s advent calendar door? Is it a lovely picture of a robin? A verse of the nativity story? A little chocolate that tastes of solidified moisturiser? Let’s see……ooh, what a surprise! It is, instead, Answer Me This! Episode 160:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

And what surprises are therein? Well:

Ali Baba
JJB Sports
Princess Mary of Denmark
dead dogs
Halle Berry’s bum
Tina Turner’s legs
Sega Master System
the Thompson Twins
terrifying pores
Facebashing
British Home Stores
naval recruitment
‘The Night Before Christmas’
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Heidi Range-deer
scary cartoon Weetabix
an abundance of allen keys
The Silver Spoon
and
Plopp.

Plus: Olly is cockblocked by a statue of his newborn self; Helen tells you how not to throw like a girl; and Martin the Sound Man tells you how to make your Christmas protracted and boring. Whoopee! Also, don’t forget this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (which is now available on Android, huzzah!), which shows how a bunch of adults can dissolve into childish mirth during an upright discussion about advent calendars as soon as the word ‘flaps’ shows up. Flaps! Snigger.

You can send us QUESTIONS in the form of voicemails on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and we’ll stack them under the tree to open at Christmas. BUT! Next Thursday sees the first installment of the annual treat (debatably) that is our Best Of episodes, so if you have a favourite bit of AMT2010, please tell us about it on our Facebook wall or, if you forswear social networking, in the comments right here.

See you next week for the visit of the Ghosts of Podcasts Past,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 150 – who wouldn’t rather wee into a dinosaur’s mouth?

September 16, 2010

Rejoice! We’ve at last reached not-especially-impressive-numerical-landmark-when-you-think-about-it Episode 150:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

And duly we celebrate this really-not-at-all-momentous occasion with such topics as:

Caddyshack
Caddyshack II
Craig Phillips
Collins academic diaries
Adolf Hitler’s great-nephew
Gillian McKeith
Curiously Cinnamon
knickers full of coins
Paperchase medical supplies
doner kebabs = engineering feats
Postman Pat’s new job
floaters
Opal Fruits
canine panniers
boarding school trains
wretched funk
clockwise Usain Bolt
Platform 9 3/4
and
the end of days.

Plus: Olly gives you the insider knowledge that guarantees to get you on telly; Helen does not want her Everyman’s Library books despoiled by cover illustrations; and Martin the Sound Man has a top tip for stingy people who wish to be kind to the sensitive skin of strippers. Tuck a copy of his album into their garter, that’ll make them happy! This week’s bonus bit on the app is a question from Simon from Wimbledon wondering why people say Inception is confusing. Because that’s what you’re supposed to say about it, durrr.

This is the last episode of the series, but we won’t be away for long: we’ll be returning with Episode 151 on 7th October, which gives you plenty time to get your bargainous audiobooks (and we will be superlatively grateful to you if you do) as well as send us QUESTIONS for the new series: ask them with your voice on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or with your written words by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Because you’ve furnished us with far more questions than we can squeeze into the podcast this series, we’ll be tackling some of them here on the website during our break – and check back here anon if you’re curious about this world record attempt that we’re abetting on September 30th.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen and goodbye, until October 7th!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 127 – an exotic beast in an unlikely place

March 18, 2010

Hello there, chums!

We know you’re probably still watching the new Lady Gaga video that you clicked on last Friday, but when you need a break from [SPOILERS!] all the killing, the Kill Bill Pussy Wagon, and Beyonce’s impassive acting [/spoilers], then Answer Me This! Episode 127 is right here waiting for youuuuuu:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

On this week’s agenda:

Charles Fey
San Francisco special bread
McDonald’s apple pies
steak on a stake
Apt Pupil
malaria
killer whales
Steve Coogan vs. Rednex
Snoop Dogg vs. the UK
gambling machines vs. Canadian homosexuality cures
and
American Psycho.

Furthermore, Olly angers Jesus by using his Gideon’s Bible for nefarious purposes; Helen ponders the fugitive crayfish of Tunbridge Wells; and Martin the Sound Man can get you a nice Geiger counter if you slip him £50, no questions asked. Oh, you’ve already got one? Say no more. Plus, we solve the total non-mystery of what happened to former AMT flatmate Matthew Crosby, for the 0.001% of you who are curious.

As always, we enjoy it ever so much when you ask us QUESTIONS, so please do so by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leaving a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. In addition, if you have an opinion on what is the world’s grimmest book scene, express it in the comments – but please, keep any descriptions euphemistic, for we and many of our readers are of delicate constitutions. Also we already get more than enough Weird Googlers as it is.

See you next Thursday,

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 121 – ‘flange’ was a bad choice of word

January 7, 2010

Welcome, listeners, to the first Answer Me This! of 2010:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we speak of:

the Next sales
Sherlock Holmes
sweetbreads
condominiums
the son of Sam
Golden Wonder
Stanley Kubrick
the Queen’s Speech
Scotch woodcock
Johnny Carson
snake lungs
Anne Frank
and
the best public lavatories in Balham.

Furthermore: Olly manages to draw comparison between Lolita and Match of the Day; Helen manages to draw comparison between estate agents and kidnapped children; and Martin the Sound Man manages to draw comparison between a suitable Christmas present for his girlfriend and a DVD boxset about serial killers. Let’s hope he didn’t buy it for research purposes.

We’ve a list of chores for you to do this week:
1) click here to get yourself a free Audible audiobook;
2) share your neuroses, like shark-fearing questioneer Bunty did, in a comment on this post;
3) decide for the world whether humans are red meat or white meat by voting in this poll
4) if you’re still steaming about Walkers Crisps’ packet colours (and frankly, we aren’t), sign the petition;
5) listen to Martin the Sound Man’s latest music podcast;
6) and, of course, send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

So, after you’ve done all those, we’ll see you next week for Episode 122!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 114 – a top hat full of goose feathers

October 22, 2009

What the Jazzy Jeff is going on with Answer Me This! Episode 114? It’s all full of SPORT! Bloody sport! Golf, boxing, Formula 1 AND the Cinnamon Challenge. We feel like traitors to our own podcast.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Thankfully, there’s less jocktacular business too, such as:

scurvy (again)
bridge rolls
Helge Rubinstein
Napoleon Dynamite
Acton bowling alley
Wanted
Johnny Ball Reveals All
butter vs. Banoffee Pie
Sean Kingston vs. Sean Paul
D.H. Lawrence
James McAvoy
and
the band Clock.

Plus: Olly suggests Angelina Jolie is ‘a bloke with tits, really’ AND manages to compare Cheryl Cole to a golf ball; Helen hopes that Auntie Tarantula isn’t listening to this episode; and Martin the Sound Man breaks the embargo on talking about balls, earning him 14 hours on the naughty step. Will he never learn?

Unfortunately Episode 115 will be out one day late next week; but if you need something to tide you over Thursday, perhaps this tract upon the benefits of dimples to the trajectory of golf balls, this will help. (I’m sure you’ll understand why we kept it brief in the podcast – laminar flow diagrams don’t come across so well in audio.) And you can help tide us over with YOUR QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

See you next Friday!

Helen and Olly

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