Get yer dolls out for the lads! Following AMT326‘s conclusion that seeing Russian dolls is more satisfying than owning Russian dolls, we want to see yours.
Nick has supplied:
Whilst on honeymoon in Sydney in May 2012 I came across this fitting tribute to the ‘King Of Pop’.
Stunning.
Is it wrong that I’m a little saddened they’re not in chronological order?
And the dolls have been coming out on Twitter. We’ve got: (more…)
In things-we-didn’t-know-we-wanted-but-are-sort-of-pleased-you’ve-decided-to-give-us news:
Following the baked bean bath chat in AMT309, some of you have, of your own volition, decided to get busy with the photoshop. Click on the images for the full-sized pictures, and bean artist credits.
If you are moved to do the same, email your bean masterpieces and we’ll add them to the gallery, for posterity.
PS Remember the AMT Photoshop Challenge? That was fun!
Rifling through your copy of the Guardian’s Do Something magazine last Saturday, you may have spotted some familiar mugs. Yes, that’s us, doing the AMT thing in the AMT home studio. Yes, Martin the Sound man does have a lot of guitars.
If you want to read about how to make a podcast the AMT-way, the article is available online HERE. As is my accompanying list of podcasts to stock up on.
PS If you’re interested in starting a podcast, or want to talk about what to do with one you already make, or you want to meet and mingle with other podcasters, come along to my free quarterly Podcast Clinic: 24th November, Brixton Ritzy, details here.
PPS Another article just appeared about the stuff I make that isn’t audio.
PPPS Every single time I read Do Something magazine, brain radio torments me by playing the Britney Spears song of the same name. Not her finest hour – hardly surprising, since that hour occurred at peak-Federline.
Oy, it’s even worse than I remembered:
Many of you already think Olly Mann is a bit of a dish, but listener Matt has sent confirmation:
This is a dish served in a restaurant called Angelica Kitchen across the street from where I live.
Technically I think the accent makes it not ‘Olly’, but I like to think of it as Olly when I’m waiting for takeaway listening to you.
Good enough for me! Now keep an eye out for dishes that sound a bit like the rest of the AMT crew – Melon Salt-spam, Martin Ostrich…
Mary in New Zealand has done a callback to something I said on an AMT episode so long past, I can’t actually find out which one (possibly 81? If you’ve recently been listening to the back catalogue and can identify the relevant episode, do let me know (UPDATE: Chris has kindly pointed out that it was AMT75, so call off the search.)).
You probably know I do love handicrafts, so the most brilliant thing about Mary’s callback is that it is in the form of EMBROIDERY!
This adage was also immortalized as a cartoon by listener Luke, so it must be Very Wise Indeed. Hang onto my every word, listeners, because I am a great sage. Now go forth and make cross-stitch samplers of everything I have ever said.
This morning, I stumbled upon a relic from before Answer Me This! was born. A terrifying relic that shows how different everything could have been.
In November 2006, Olly and I met up in a long gone basement bar in Covent Garden, and over a plate of mezze brainstormed our plan to start a podcast. Here’s the list of names we came up with:
Let’s call this a lucky escape.
Listener Tam has written in with a home-grown alternative to accessories made from sharks’ teeth or ivory or whalebone. Take a look at the picture. Can you tell what the pale-coloured beads are made from? No? Read on to find out:
In an earlier podcast, you were discussing a mother saving her baby’s teeth and whether it was appropriate or not for her to share this with friends. Helen commented in a joking manner that, “What was the mother going to do? Make jewelry out of them?”
Of course she could. I had foot surgery several years ago for a condition called hammer toe. My toes were all bunched up and curled under my foot, making it painful at times to walk. So, to fix this issue, a surgeon cut all of the tendons under all off my toes, and then, on five toes, had to remove the middle toe knuckle; three on the left foot, two on the right. I was awake for the two surgeries and watched the entire process. It only took about a half an hour for each foot, they put me in a surgical boot and I walked right out.
However, I thought that it would be wonderful to have a unique souvenir to show for my trauma. So I kept the knuckles. Once I came home, my husband boiled them to get the meat off, and drilled them for me. My mum gave me some rather fitting beads to make a lovely necklace.
So you see, baby teeth are really no big deal. It’s all in perspective.
That’s right – in perspective of having to BOIL YOUR HUMAN FLESH off your OWN BONES. Did you get the idea from Jeffrey Dahmer’s Etsy store?
As well as the above picture of the finished necklace, Tam kindly included photos of the process prior to completion. Because I don’t want to make casual browsers puke till next Tuesday, you’ll have to click through if you wish to see Tam’s foot pre-surgery, her blood-soaked post-operative appendage, or her disembodied toe-knuckles.
Listeners, over the years you’ve treated us to pictures of your necrotic legs, infected piercings and Satanic effigies. Not wishing to seem ungrateful, but you ARE welcome to send us pictures of things that aren’t leaking pus and blood.
In AMT272, Beth of Leighton Buzzard told us she had prepared for the birth of her child by downloading the AMT Holiday to accompany the agonies of labour. Surprisingly, the sound of our voices didn’t compel the baby to stay in the womb forever, because Beth writes:
I just wanted to say thank you. Not only did I enjoy your holiday album during early labour, but I also listened to your 19 September podcast whilst in the delivery room, 40 hours into (induced) labour and just 2 hours before my baby girl was born.
I didn’t have an epidural so the distraction was very welcome. No bad reviews from me!
As a doting new mum, I couldn’t resist including a picture of your youngest fan, Jennifer, who was born at 3.22am on Friday 20 September:
All together now: awwwwwwwwwwwww. And, in sympathy with Beth’s 42-hour labour, owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Attention, Martin the Sound Fans!
Your favourite West Midlandese sound man has been very busy this year, and not with the invention of new compound cuss-words involving balls. No. He’s been paper-cutting, green-screening and back-projecting to make the video to his song 10,000 Letters of Love, and the finished product is finally here:
Wow, right? Surely the best papercut video about London sewerage pioneer Joseph Bazalgette you’ll see all year.
If you’re interested in how he made the video, click here; and if you liked the song and want to buy it plus ten more, click here to purchase his beautiful album The City of Gold and Lead, under Martin’s musical alter ego The Sound of the Ladies.
Here’s a different sort of mistaken identity question from Maria:
Every time my husband Bjorn meets someone new, the person usually says they feel like they have met him before. Men and women actually come up to us in pubs or when we are out shopping asking, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Numerous folk say, “Oh you remind me of someone I know” but can never seem to absolutely pinpoint who that person is.
He has been likened to Patrick Swayze, Jeff Bridges, Benny from Abba, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Steve Martin – all of whom I personally think look totally different from each other and nothing like him.
Answer me this: how can one person look like so many different people to so many different people? And does he look like anyone you know?
Maybe he just has ‘one of those faces’? Perhaps its planes are arranged in a particular way that chimes with some sort of universal face-recognition. Or possibly his photo was used without his knowledge in a widespread public health advertising campaign, like this.
Readers, below is Bjorn’s face. Go to the comments to name the person of whom he reminds you. Personally I’m seeing the Jeff Bridges resemblance but not the other ones, although maybe the hat is overly influencing my judgement.
NO DON’T TELL US. Tell nobody. Find that impulse that lurks deep within yourself to vocalise your opinions upon a matter so boring, so mundane, so underwhelming an indicator of anything interesting about your character; find it, then destroy it.
Then listen to Answer Me This! Episode 248:
Today we ponder upon:
Flu Camp
pregnancy disguises
Stevenage slush puppies (not a euphemism)
Ming Dynasty toilet paper
Joseph Gayetty
posh Pot Noodles
domestic rubbish vs. commercial rubbish
London, UK vs. London, Ontario
figure skating vs. Dancing On Ice
Tiny Toronto
and
Sergey Brin hiding in the bushes.
Plus: Olly’s lukewarm about Google Glass, but looking forward to the installation of his Google Womb; Helen believes the empire waist to be an offence to waists (and empires); and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t like the principles of Ayn Rand, he just looks like he does.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) is a question from Poppy wondering why Skittles’ latest ad campaign is targeting the people-who-eat-bodily-growths market. Cheer up, Poppy; at least they’re not suggesting you wipe your bottom with Skittles then tell them about it.
Tell us your QUESTIONS, though: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis. Then treat yourself to a free Audible audiobook as a reward. OK, you can have one anyway, for being so well-behaved (and because we receive a bit of lovely money for each of you who has one; let’s not be coy about it).
See you next Thursday!
Helen & Olly
FEAST YOUR EYES.
What a surprise the publishers of our book decided not to use this picture! Granted, their usual style of authorial portrait is usually a little more contemplative, a tad more restrained. But they probably thought that to print an image of such timeless, exquisite beauty on the cover of our book would be unfair on all the other books.
Yes. That must have been the reasoning.
To find out why we have unleashed this aesthetics gamechanger, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 247:
Today we discuss:
forked tongues
Liv Tyler’s tits
holiday snaps
smoking vs. self-pleasuring
Pot Noodles vs. aquariums
Armageddon vs. Les Miserables
menageries vs. mono-nageries
corgis’ Christmas
Lion Tower
Bruce Willis in a space suit
and
bedroom antics.
Plus: Olly reveals how the Queen helped Kate and Willsher dogs to mate; Helen’s holiday photo albums all look like this; and Martin the Sound Man ejaculates through his tear ducts, apparently.
As an extension of the final questioneer’s bath masturbation query, this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) considers what else you can do in a bath, if said bath is in Las Vegas. Clue: cleanliness is unlikely to be the most immediate concern.
Our immediate concern is, of course, gathering your QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.
Pre-finally, do remember to check out Neil Denny interviewing us on Little Atoms podcast. Finally, get yourself a free Audible audiobook now!
Post-finally, farewell until next Thursday,
Helen & Olly
Answer Me This! Podcast 