When you’re trying to make new friends, what’s the best icebreaker? One of today’s questioneers thinks talking about death is the way to go. See if you agree in Answer Me This! Episode 293:
We also consider less morbid topics, such as:
Viagra calorie content I Love Lucy
Wayne Rooney’s new hair vs Kyle Beckerman’s old hair
Vancouver vs Pinner
chocolate vs chocolate flavoured chocolate-esque solids
fire hazard fiances
Jason Biggs
jetlagged hamsters Crystal Creams
Russian Roulette
giving references
borrowing a cup of sugar
and
fucking a pork pie.
Plus: Olly explains the difference between Jewish front gardens and gentile front gardens; Helen will be hibernating all summer (correct term: ‘aestivating‘); and Martin the Sound Man has a restaurant ratings system that will render Michelin stars obsolete.
Since this episode kicks off (yes I went there) with football, one of our least favourite topics, we address another in today’s Bit of Crap on the App: zombies. We could scarcely feel more ambivalent, but since so many of you love them, do your special zombie walk over to the app store in order to listen on your iDevice, Android or Windows toy.
••• AMT293 Child-Friendly Rating: Squeaky-clean first third, then a question about Viagra. This is alright, until around 19 minutes into the episode the conversation turns to American Pie, whence it degenerates horribly. The rest of the episode is fine aside from a few swears, but realistically you’ll already have had to switch over to Fun Kids, so overall we have to rate this episode as 27%. •••
Following our discussion of London, Ontario last week, several of you have piped up about places that have the same name as another place but are not THE place. Says Emma:
I was just so excited that last week you mentioned Vancouver, Washington, and our struggle to differentiate ourselves from Vancouver, BC. I grew up in Vancouver, WA, and we had severe little dog syndrome. There are t-shirts in the local mall that read “Vancouver – NOT BC, Washington – NOT DC.” During the Vancouver winter Olympics we had loads of people trying to book rooms for the games in Vancouver, Washington. Idiots.
Actually, our Vancouver was founded before the one in Canada, but no one cares besides us.
To avoid such confusion, I’ve moved to New York City. Nobody asks which New York City you’re referencing.
Secondly, there ain’t no California Dreaming for Rebecca:
There’s a California in Great Yarmouth. That always used to make my childhood holidays sound more fun than they were.
NO DON’T TELL US. Tell nobody. Find that impulse that lurks deep within yourself to vocalise your opinions upon a matter so boring, so mundane, so underwhelming an indicator of anything interesting about your character; find it, then destroy it.
Then listen to Answer Me This! Episode 248:
Today we ponder upon:
Flu Camp
pregnancy disguises
Stevenage slush puppies (not a euphemism)
Ming Dynasty toilet paper
Joseph Gayetty
posh Pot Noodles
domestic rubbish vs. commercial rubbish
London, UK vs. London, Ontario
figure skating vs. Dancing On Ice
Tiny Toronto
and Sergey Brin hiding in the bushes.
Plus: Olly’s lukewarm about Google Glass, but looking forward to the installation of his Google Womb; Helen believes the empire waist to be an offence to waists (and empires); and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t like the principles of Ayn Rand, he just looks like he does.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) is a question from Poppy wondering why Skittles’ latest ad campaign is targeting the people-who-eat-bodily-growths market. Cheer up, Poppy; at least they’re not suggesting you wipe your bottom with Skittles then tell them about it.
Tell us your QUESTIONS, though: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis. Then treat yourself to a free Audible audiobook as a reward. OK, you can have one anyway, for being so well-behaved (and because we receive a bit of lovely money for each of you who has one; let’s not be coy about it).
Following bossy Paul‘s Toronto vs. Vancouver holiday destination question in AMT240, we’ve received quite a few defences of Toronto, several recommendations for Montreal, and very little regarding Vancouver. This suggests that Vancouverites either think Vancouver is not as good as Toronto and/or Montreal, or they’re so laid back they don’t feel the need to spring to the defence of their splendid hometown. And/or they like Vancouver so much they don’t want Paul in it.
Vancouverites, if you’re reading this, by all means go to the comments to clarify the reason for your silence. Meanwhile, the Torontonians have spoken up. Andrew from Toronto sums up the qualities of the cities:
I live in Toronto, but love to visit montreal. They are all very different cities. If I were your listener, I would go to Toronto (not boring Olly!), and take an overnight trip to montreal.
Toronto is: ancient streetcars; hilarious fired mayors; grubby, wonderful, diverse Kensington market; TV trucks smashed through walls; 3 hours from Algonquin and 5 hours from Montreal; Honest Ed’s; art festivals; delicious St Lawrence market; a “little” ethni-copia: Little India, Little Italy, Little Portugal, Little Chinatown, Chinatown, Greektown; Church Street; FOOD, so much good food (just stay away from the financial district and the distillery district for it); Burgers Priest.
Montreal is: authentic bagels; Celine Dion’s smoked meat; sour Francophones who pretend not to understand English, and won’t give directions to bakeries because they feel culturally oppressed; jazz festivals; beautiful old Montreal; corrupt corrupt politians, like, Chicago corrupt; tam tam.
Vancouver is: beautiful mountains; indecipherable highway system; Stanley Park; rainy; Battlestar Galactica; pot; ridiculously expensive real estate; Skid Row; relaxed; Vij’s.
There’s a Chinatown AND a Little Chinatown? I’m booking a two-week dim sum tour in the January sales.
Next, Dani presents a considered case:
I was born and raised in Toronto, but moved to Vancouver at 19 and lived there for four years.
While in general I’m inclined to agree with Olly that Vancouver is an overall ‘nicer’ place to visit than Toronto, remember that Paul was looking for an interesting cold-weather destination. Vancouver in the winter is probably not dissimilar to the UK, with generally cold but not below freezing temperatures, lots of drizzle, and weeks on end without sunlight. (After typing all this, I realize that he might be thinking of skiing/wintersports that one might enjoy in Whistler, etc. Of course there is that. I just tend to think of the city proper when I think Vancouver)
Toronto in the winter is plenty cold, but if you plan on staying in the middle of the city, you’ll find yourself in a sea of brown, salty slush. Many of the nicer things to do in Toronto (there are some beautiful parks and great shopping districts) would frankly be kind of a downer in the middle of winter (and this coming from someone who loves the city and considers it home.)
I think if he is set on a Canadian vacation in winter, Helen’s suggestion of Montreal would be a better option. And you’d have a chance to try some real poutine! (Shut it, it’s delicious, and vastly superior to Putin on pretty much every count.)
It’s true. Poutine is corrupted by curds and gravy, whilst Putin – well, it’s difficult even to know where to start.
Brace yourselves, listeners: in Answer Me This! Episode 240, those two titans of the Northern Hemisphere, Russia and Canada, face off for the bout you’ve all been waiting for. KABOOM!!!!
Sort of.
This week we speak of:
Andy Warhol’s wig
podcatchers
Russell Brand’s dad
penis pasta
Guinness World Record adjudicators
mean mean mother-in-law
pleasing your partner’s parents
the death of Borders
holidays with Paul Daniels
and
poutine vs. Putin.
Plus: you may be surprised to hear that Olly is a one-doughnut Mann; Helen’s ex-boyfriend moved the earth for her, literally; and Martin the Sound Man unleashes his inner Sarah Palin. Watch out, world.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) is a question from Sam about Gems TV, that 24/7 diamond of entertainment.
Next week is the first half of the Best of Answer Me This! 2012, but for your chance to appear in the Best of Answer Me This! 2013, send us QUESTIONS for the new year. Email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.
Also please do try out our other weekly podcasting exploit The Joy of Tech from BBC 5 Live, in which we talk about the week’s internet events alongside experts in tech, cars, gaming and other highlights of modern existence.
RT @DavidB1996: I love that in this week’s retro episode of @HelenAndOlly from 2015, it was said that Twitter is good at sticking to and fo… 1 week ago
RT @OllyMann: 5 years ago, we released an episode of @HelenandOlly that spontaneously resulted in multiple unconnected listeners sending us… 1 week ago
