Posts Tagged ‘reindeer’
November 26, 2015
How do you tell your mum that she is a STUPID WOMAN who is RUINING CHRISTMAS by buying you the WRONG GIFT? Plus other polite and classy problems compose Answer Me This! Episode 328, in which we contemplate:
NaNoWriMo
sexist succession
breaking into your own house
vinegar vs menstruation
the novels of Katie Price
the novels of Ben Elton
pregnant Virgin Mary paintings
snooping on your Christmas presents
procrastination
the big piece of paper of Jack Kerouac
the little piece of paper in a box of chocolates
and
vinegar mother.
Plus: Olly plans never to get married, but maybe he’ll change his mind purely to have the themed wedding of his Jennifer Connelly-starring dreams; Helen turns her profound laziness into creative tips; and Martin the Sound Man puts the beats into his favourite Christmas carol.
In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App, available for iThings, Android and Windows devices, Olly reveals the surprise hair inspiration of his mid-1980s barnet: Princess Diana.
Feeling festive yet? Click here to read about and then buy the Answer Me This! Christmas album; and click here to get the delightful Christmas podcasts from today’s sponsor Dobbies Garden Centres – and there’re plenty of Christmas tips and decorations to buy at dobbies.com and in store.
What have you got in store for us? Questions, we hope! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.
We’ll return on 10th December 2015 with AMT329.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT328 Child-Friendly Rating: 60%. No bawdy content, but there are a few swears, and the possible demystification of the machinations behind Christmas presents IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN. •••
Tags:art, authors, Baby Jesus, Ben Elton, Bernard Cribbins, Bible, bodily fluids, book reviews, books, box of chocolates, Camilla Parker-Bowles, candy, Carrie, Catholicism, chocolates, Christmas, Christmas presents, Columbo, confectionery, creative exercises, David Bowie, deadlines, Dobbies, Dostoyevsky, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, drugs, editing, Fahrenheit 451, family, fiction, folk remedies, Frankenstein, ghostwriters, ghostwritten, gifts, Gospels, Harry Potter, health, home security, Ian Botham, Ian McKellen, immaculate conception, Italian, Italy, Jack Kerouac, Jade Goody, Jennifer Connelly, Jilly Cooper, Jordan, Katie Price, keys, Knights Templar, Labyrinth, like it, literature, Little Donkey, locks, locksmith, Lord Byron, lump it, Madonna, Mary, Mary Shelley, medical, medical research, menstruation, monarchy, mum, NaNoWriMo, novelists, novels, On The Road, owls, paintings, parents, periods, photos, Piero della Francesca, pregnancy, pregnant women, presents, Prince Charles, Prince Philip, Princess Michael of Kent, procrastinating, procrastination, Queen Elizabeth II, Quidditch, red cups, reindeer, religion, reproductive health, Robert Louis Stevenson, royalty, scientific research, sexism, slippers, snooping, Starbucks, Stephen King, succession, sweets, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, The Gambler, The Naked Lunch, the Queen, The Running Man, themed weddings, Tuscany, Twin Peaks, veggie weddings, vinegar, Virgin Mary, wedding gimmicks, weddings, William S Burroughs, women, women's health, writing, Xmas
Posted in PODCASTS | 3 Comments »
November 21, 2013
Christmas has come early, AMTpals, because the Answer Me This! Christmas Album is out NOW, available to buy from iTunes, Amazon and our very own Answer Me This! Store:
If you take the plunge and purchase it, you’re not only funding the podcast, you also get one hour of all-new Christmas chat about such festive topics as:
✯ FOOD! ✯
Audio is entirely calorie-free, so feast your ears on mince pies, trifle, Brussels sprouts, poisoned turkey, lutefisk, Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa Cake and what Christmas pudding can teach you about atomic physics (which is better than eating it).
✯ ENTERTAINMENT! ✯
Christmas titans Eric’n’Ernie face off against Mike Yarwood; Olly fails to be swept away by ‘Fairytale of New York’ (and don’t even get him started on ‘Christmas Wrapping’); and the Grinch stole Dr Seuss’s doctorate.
✯ CUSTOMS! ✯
How the Norse deities Frigga and Baldur got you to snog people under a bunch of a poisonous parasitic plant; why Rudolph’s got a red nose; how the first ever Christmas card managed to be offensive; why Kwanzaa was invented; and Santa on waterskiis.
✯ CRISIS MANAGEMENT! ✯
How to salvage the situation if your partner’s bought you a brilliant present and you got them something shit; what to do if you dread staying at your in-laws’ house; how to uninvite people from your party; and why you’re more likely to end up getting a divorce at Christmas. It really is the most wonderful time of the year.
✯ DECORATIONS! ✯
Let us deck the halls of your ears with Christmas jumpers, Christmas crackers, double beards, and paper hats, even though everyone looks like a dick in the paper hats. Especially because everyone looks like a dick in the paper hats.
The Answer Me This! Christmas Album is fun for all the family – no, it really is, because we don’t even swear. So Great-Grandma Gladys and Tiny Tim can listen happily together while you sneak off and neck the cooking brandy.
✯ Buy it now from the Answer Me This! Store, iTUNES and AMAZON. ✯
Tags:abroad, adultery, aesthetics, All I Want for Christmas, America, Ancient Romans, arguments, babies, Baldr, Baldur, bangs, beards, beds, berries, black history, Blitzen, Bob Hope, Bridget Jones's Diary, Bruno Mars, Brussels sprouts, cake, Caravan of Love, cards, Caribbean, cartoons, celebrations, Charlie Brown, childhood, children, China, Christ, Christmas, Christmas cards, Christmas crackers, Christmas dinner, Christmas jumpers, Christmas movies, Christmas pudding, Christmas specials, Christmas Wrapping, clothes, Comet, confectionery, cracker jokes, crackers, Cupid, currants, Dancer, Dasher, dinner, disharmony, divorce, Donner, Dr Seuss, dried fruit, Fairytale of New York, families, family, father, Father Christmas, festive, festivities, films, Finland, fire, Florida, food, food poisoning, freezer, Frigg, frozen food, fruit, garments, gifts, god, gods, grapes, greetings, gunpowder, Holland, Housemartins, husbands, indulgence, inventions, Jesus, Jesus Christ, jews, John Lennon, jokes, Joseph, Judaism, jumpers, kids, King Herod, knitwear, Kwanzaa, Lapland, legends, Linus and Lucy, logs, Loki, Love Actually, lutefisk, lye, Mariah Carey, Mary, Maulana Karenga, meals, meat, messiah, Mike Yarwood, mince pies, Ministry of Defence, mistletoe, Morecambe and Wise, mother, mother-in-law, movies, music, My Favourite Things, myths, nativity, Nazareth, Norse, North Pole, Norway, nostalgia, panto, pantomime, paper hats, parents, parties, partners, Paul McCartney, peanuts, pelicans, plumbing, pop, poultry, Prancer, presents, raisins, reindeer, relations, relatives, religion, Richard Donner, rows, Rudolph, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, saints, Sandra Lee, Santa Claus, satsumas, Saturnalia, Scandinavia, Scrooge, Second World War, Shoreditch Box Park, showers, sleeping arrangements, Snoopy, songs, specials, spouses, St Nicholas, sultanas, surnames, sweaters, sweets, symbols, tact, telly, The Darkness, The Grinch, The Night Before Christmas, the Queen's speech, The Sound of Music, The Waitresses, toy shops, toys, tradition, traditions, trends, trifle, turkey, TV, USA, vegetables, virility, Vixen, war, winter, wives, World War Two, WWII, Xmas, Yule log
Posted in albums | 9 Comments »
December 9, 2010
Creeeeeak! What’s behind today’s advent calendar door? Is it a lovely picture of a robin? A verse of the nativity story? A little chocolate that tastes of solidified moisturiser? Let’s see……ooh, what a surprise! It is, instead, Answer Me This! Episode 160:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
And what surprises are therein? Well:
Ali Baba
JJB Sports
Princess Mary of Denmark
dead dogs
Halle Berry’s bum
Tina Turner’s legs
Sega Master System
the Thompson Twins
terrifying pores
Facebashing
British Home Stores
naval recruitment
‘The Night Before Christmas’
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Heidi Range-deer
scary cartoon Weetabix
an abundance of allen keys
The Silver Spoon
and
Plopp.
Plus: Olly is cockblocked by a statue of his newborn self; Helen tells you how not to throw like a girl; and Martin the Sound Man tells you how to make your Christmas protracted and boring. Whoopee! Also, don’t forget this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (which is now available on Android, huzzah!), which shows how a bunch of adults can dissolve into childish mirth during an upright discussion about advent calendars as soon as the word ‘flaps’ shows up. Flaps! Snigger.
You can send us QUESTIONS in the form of voicemails on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and we’ll stack them under the tree to open at Christmas. BUT! Next Thursday sees the first installment of the annual treat (debatably) that is our Best Of episodes, so if you have a favourite bit of AMT2010, please tell us about it on our Facebook wall or, if you forswear social networking, in the comments right here.
See you next week for the visit of the Ghosts of Podcasts Past,
Helen & Olly
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Tags:advent calendars, Ali Baba, allen key, Angelina Jolie, Apple, Arabian Nights, Bob Dylan, Brownies, buttocks, cats, celebrity chins, Charlize Theron, Cher, chest of drawers, childhood, chins, Christmas, church, contact lenses, corpses, cosmetic surgery, dead animals, disease, dogs, Dolly Parton, ER, expressions, eyes, facial features, families, Father Christmas, flatpack, glasses, graduates, Halle Berry, Heidi Range, Hello! magazine, high street, Ikea, independence, iPad, iPhone, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Roberts, Kerry Weaver, lies, Magic Roundabout, Marks & Spencer, Michael Jackson, Mr Men, Nicole Kidman, open sesame, open sewer, Pamela Anderson, panto, parents, phrases, plastic surgery, poems, Posh, rebranding, reindeer, Rudolf, Sandra Bullock, Santa, seeds, sesame, sewers, sex, sexism, shopping, shops, specs, spectacles, stickers, Sugababes, surgeons, surveys, The Last Boy Scout, The Simpsons, theatre, Tina Turner, traditions, Twilight, United Colors of Benetton, university, Victoria Beckham, Weetabix, Woolworths
Posted in PODCASTS | 1 Comment »
