Posts Tagged ‘bowels’

EPISODE 336: have the decency to get your balls out

July 28, 2016

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer Stream AMT! on Spotifysoundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

There are many refreshments in Answer Me This! Episode 336: tea, milk, and a drink Olly describes as ‘mashed-up urinal cake in a glass’. Mmmm! It’s the new hipster cocktail!

We also consider such topics as:

‘Roses are Red’
getting an upgrade at the airport
honeymoon bowel trouble
hush puppies
Hush Puppies
Slush Puppies
this famous policeman’s helmet
flowery emoji
things to do in Peterborough
signatures
and
streaking.

Plus: Olly would like it to be known that he is not a geek (except for musical theatre and Disney); forget going naked, Helen won’t even take her cardigan off for money; and Martin the Sound Man believes in bowel karma.

Sorry for forgetting the Bonus Bit of Crap on the App for AMT335, but this one contains further contemplation of streaking and public nudity. Get the app on your iThings, Android and Windows devices.

There are links to the apps at answermethisstore.com, where you’ll also find AMTs 1-200, plus our special albums. The Answer Me This! Holiday is the (or at least a) soundtrack to your summer, and there’s also AMT Sports Day to get you pumped for the Olympics. And remember to get your free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible. By doing any or all of these things, you’re supporting the show.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 11 August with AMT337,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT336 Child-Friendly Rating: 60%low on foul language but there are references to sex. •••

STOREALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH
Advertisements

EPISODE 177 – angle of dangle

June 2, 2011

Hello pals,

What would you do if you had the run of the Houses of Parliament? Rifle through all the documents with TOP SECRET stamped on them? Leave a drawing pin on the Speaker’s chair? Try on all of Theresa May’s shoes? Or use their wifi to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 177?

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In this episode we contemplate that matter, and others:

Shutter Island
anti-gravity
Dodgy
art vs. law
parliamentary privilege vs. podcasting privilege
the BBFC vs. the Mull of Kintyre test
accredited space agents
conspiracy theorists
school play smoking
reprobate Mel Smith
Princess Michael
‘Governor’ Palin
‘Cape Canaveral’
and
squid rings.

Plus: Olly would have got more action at university had it not been for his inner gameshow; Helen gives a lesson on basic squid anatomy; and Martin the Sound Man swears that with bog-standard telescopes, you could read a copy of yesterday’s Evening Standard that someone had left on Uranus as clearly as gawking at it over the shoulder of your fellow commuter. This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone or Android) sees Olly point the finger at the real villains of the 21st century: anyone who puts one of these in their mouth. You monsters!

You have until June 5th to snap up free audiobooks and half-price Audible membership at answermethispodcast.com/audible, but you have all the time you need to ask us QUESTIONS, in the form of voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Although don’t take too long over it, because we’ve got to be back here next week with a new episode, and without your questions in it, it’d be like we’d turned time back to Web 1.0. Which is just too awful to contemplate.

Byeeee!

Helen & Olly

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 142 – Ghandi levels of self-restraint

July 22, 2010

Hello pals,

Are we harbouring some pent-up aggression or something? Because Answer Me This! Episode 142 is quite the pugnacious little beast, as we parry questions on how to sock someone in the face, and how to have a good old bloody battle. Bam! Splat! Wallop! Here it is:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In between blows, we talk about:

comediennes
Byker Grove vs. Pin Oak Court, Melbourne
Dreamgirls vs. Showgirls
Nicole Lawrence out of the X Factor
The Killer Inside Me
Eldorado

pocket watches
the YMCA
semicolons
Paul Robinson: panto villain
Michel Gondry
that little pocket in jeans
a famous mouse
and
rheum.

Furthermore: Olly disobeys all the Village People’s instructions; Helen tells you all you need to do to become a Somerset celebrity; and Martin the Sound Man cheers up a military history lesson with a burst of Tim Rice.

We also give the behind-the-scenes commentary on our latest video adventure, Great British Questions Episode One: Cheese; if you haven’t already, please take a look at it HERE. Meanwhile, over on the app, this week’s bonus snippet is some incredible insight into those soap opera characters who are written out just as you’re getting used to them. Like Guy Pearce in Home and Away, who knocked up a teenager, promptly died in a car crash, then turned up in Memento denying all knowledge. DID SOPHIE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU, GUY???

As always we yearn for your QUESTIONS with every particle of our being, so submit them to us in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday for Episode 143, and on the preceding Tuesday for Episode Two of Great British Questions, starring Tower Bridge, James Bond’s big dome, and the Flintstones’ car. YES. Contain your excitement, please; you’ll damage yourselves!

Love,

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
AppFacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 132 – scientifically proven by science

April 22, 2010

Rejoice, listeners, for in Answer Me This! Episode 132, your prayers have at last been answered! Well, some of the prayers of some of you, specifically those asking if we could get Andy Zaltzman onto the show. Any other prayers will continue to be in vain, unless we’re backing the wrong horse atheism-wise.

Anyway. It took a lot of form-filling, tear-drenched phone-calls to his agent, and complaining to Mum; but here Andy is:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Inevitably, whenever and wherever Andy speaks, he speaks of sport. But we also manage to shoehorn in:

Wine Gums
Gordon Brown
Denise Van Outen
cricket vs. blogging
Andy vs. Liverpool
curry vs. Martin the Sound Man
surveyors vs. honesty
football hooligans vs. Johannesburg
Beth Ditto
Kim Jong-Il
the Sistine Chapel
pebbledash
and
the real problem with George W Bush.

Plus: Olly decries the cuisine of Spain; Helen tells you how best to decide your vote in the forthcoming election; Martin the Sound Man lines up a new band name for when in-fighting rends The Sound of the Ladies apart; and Andy comes up with an all-too-literal means of how to ask for a lady’s hand in marriage. His wife’s knitting career was brought to an abrupt end when he plighted his troth.

If you want a bit more of Andy in your life, then you can: go to see him do stand-up; listen to his podcast The Bugle, co-starring John Oliver; read his cricket blog; and buy his book. Or you could try marrying in to the Zaltzman family, but almost all vacancies have been filled.

The AMT service returns to normal next week, so please send in your QUESTIONS for the usual treatment – email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. No sport, we beg of you. This episode contained more than the entirety of the rest of our lives combined.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

Add to GoogleStumbleUpon

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
AppFacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 121 – ‘flange’ was a bad choice of word

January 7, 2010

Welcome, listeners, to the first Answer Me This! of 2010:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we speak of:

the Next sales
Sherlock Holmes
sweetbreads
condominiums
the son of Sam
Golden Wonder
Stanley Kubrick
the Queen’s Speech
Scotch woodcock
Johnny Carson
snake lungs
Anne Frank
and
the best public lavatories in Balham.

Furthermore: Olly manages to draw comparison between Lolita and Match of the Day; Helen manages to draw comparison between estate agents and kidnapped children; and Martin the Sound Man manages to draw comparison between a suitable Christmas present for his girlfriend and a DVD boxset about serial killers. Let’s hope he didn’t buy it for research purposes.

We’ve a list of chores for you to do this week:
1) click here to get yourself a free Audible audiobook;
2) share your neuroses, like shark-fearing questioneer Bunty did, in a comment on this post;
3) decide for the world whether humans are red meat or white meat by voting in this poll
4) if you’re still steaming about Walkers Crisps’ packet colours (and frankly, we aren’t), sign the petition;
5) listen to Martin the Sound Man’s latest music podcast;
6) and, of course, send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

So, after you’ve done all those, we’ll see you next week for Episode 122!

Helen and Olly

Add this episode to: Share this episode with your friends on FACEBOOKAdd to GoogleStumbleUpon

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
FacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 119 – a beautifully choreographed dance between two men in leotards

November 26, 2009

***WARNING: This episode contains spoilers
about the 1994 Coen brothers film
The Hudsucker Proxy***

Undaunted? Then by all means listen on, but don’t complain to us when you get to the 19th minute and discover that 15-year-old plot twist:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week we bang on about:

Philip Larkin’s debut novel
the three second rule
Tom of Finland
Sir Patrick Mayhew
Jason and the Argonauts
Lorraine Kelly, record-breaker
Stephen Fry’s Paperweight
Sir Menzies Campbell
Rick Witter
the Milton Keynes Snow Dome
Vince McMahon
Porthos
urethral openings
raw chicken
Brewster’s Millions
and
travelators.

Also: how Olly breaks wind stealthily; how Helen’s congenital squint ruined Up for her; and how bananas work, according to Martin the Sound Man. You’d been wondering for years what secrets those little bastards were concealing, hadn’t you?

As ever we’re greedy for YOUR QUESTIONS, so ask ask ask via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. We’re very grateful to all of you who shared your stupid nicknames last week – which everyone else can enjoy here; this week, you have the easy task of leaving a comment with your answer to Jorge from Mexico’s question, telling us what you would like to do for one day and one day only. Nothing too blue, please; the shock could kill us.

Also, if you are planning on doing any pre-Christmas Amazon orders, would you be a tremendous dear and log onto their site via this link first? Your Amazonian shopping experience will be 100% the same; however we will then get approx. £0.0000001, which we can put towards a new microphone, or the high-class courtesan we’ve been saving up for. Much obliged to you.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

Add this episode to: Share this episode with your friends on FACEBOOKAdd to GoogleStumbleUpon

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
FacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 116 – like a little canine Houdini

November 5, 2009

Oh dearie dear. Our coverage in Episode 115 of Reggie’s epilepsy dog/girlfriend dilemma seems to have resulted in a resolution – but not a happy one. You lot voted, while Reggie’s girlfriend voted with her feet. Commiserations, Reggie, although you’ve still got the cat to comfort you, eh?

Anyway, let’s hope that we don’t destroy any more relationships in Answer Me This! Episode 116:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Wherein we discuss:

Tesco Finest creamy fish pie
Hugh Laurie’s face trumpet
our Helge Rubinstein campaign
Maidstone
Stingy Jack
things to do in Rye
Russell Howard vs. William Hague
salmonella
politicised Peter’s Friends
freestanding baths
Bliss Magazine
Harry Potter
and
the world’s grossest bikini.

Plus: Olly has a novel method of keeping those trick-or-treaters away; Helen blurts out the Sensational Secret that her family revealed just 29 1/2 years ago; and Martin the Sound Man sets a challenge for the Olympic Committee. He’s got pluck, it’s true.

As well as sending us YOUR QUESTIONS – which you can do by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or voicemailing Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877 – this week we also want to hear your stories of your finest ancestors and your own best moments of fame. Dazzle us all by posting a comment below!

Over and out,

Helen and Olly

Add this episode to: Share this episode with your friends on FACEBOOKAdd to GoogleStumbleUpon

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
FacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Storytime!

April 22, 2009

** Click here for Episode 91 **

Here’s a charming story from James, entitled ‘My Friend Recently Shit Himself’. Can you guess how it’s going to go? Well done, you are correct:

Yes it was quite an epic tale, cram packed with adventure, tension and embarrassment.

The story began on Saturday morning when we were having a bite to eat before catching the train to Sheffield from Grimsby. My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, claimed to be feeling ill about halfway through the journey. When we arrived he insisted (in a rather flustered manner) that we find the nearest toilet which at the time happened to be a McDonalds, so off we went. He ran in barging people out of the way (we followed closely behind to see what hilarities would unfold) and just as he was going into the toilet he shat himself.

But the worst thing about this is what he did to ‘solve’ the situation, he started by frantically wiping his pants and arse with toilet paper until they were as clean as they could possibly be at that time…………not very clean. He then put them back on inside out and continued his activities for the rest of the day.

I found this odd/sickening and was wondering what would you do in a situation like that?

To be frank, we found it pretty odd/sickening as well; therefore, as we’ve just had our lunch and are reluctant to throw it all up, we thought we’d open the question out to you instead. So please comment below and answer us this: what is a failsafe means of rescuing yourself should you wind up in a similar situation?

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
Facebook FanclubTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel