Posts Tagged ‘best man’

EPISODE 306: sitting down is the new smoking

January 22, 2015

Fire up your podblasters; Answer Me This! Episode 306 has arrived:

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Today we consider:

Ainsley Harriott
Extreme Wink Murder
standing desks
Britney Spears’s haircare range
Barry Norman’s pickled onions
Paul Simon’s chicken and eggs
yellow dusters
skateboarding and similar activities
having ‘a bit of fun’ on Tinder
and
Chicken Kiev.

Plus: Olly’s madeleine is the Bernard Matthews Mini Kiev; Helen is sitting all the way to skating glory; and Martin the Sound Man preaches discretion when encountering colleagues on Tinder. Got something to confess, Martin?

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is another Stanley Mann Special, this time how he’s way ahead of his time with fashion trends. Full of surprises, that Mann. Hear on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets.

We welcome your questions with open arms and legs. Ask them by leaving voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or sending emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Do not bother to ask them via facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly, because we might forget about them when it comes to the fortnightly question-harvest; but we do love to hear from you there nonetheless.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘answer’. WHERE’S THE ALL THE SHIT HIDING??? WHERE IS IT, I ASK YOU? Nowhere! No shit there at all! If only all of life were more like shitless Squarespace…

We’ll be back with AMT307 on 5th February, return then.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT306 Child-Friendly Rating: 47%. Quite a few swears. Some crudity towards the end, involving One Direction’s bodily fluids, polishing wood, and Tinder. •••

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faraway weddings

March 6, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT248

It’s always Wedding Season at AMT, and here’s a question of nuptuals from Jim from Tewkesbury

A couple of years ago a dear childhood friend of mine hooked up with an American broad working over here in the UK. They moved Stateside a few months ago to be near her family, and happily they are soon to be married. I have been asked to be Best Man, and while this is a great honour which I have accepted, I have recently been wondering if I should let him down.

The wedding is in New Jersey, and while researching flights and hotels I have discovered that holidaying in America is ferociously expensive. My girlfriend is currently out of work and we’re saving to buy a house, and although we have the money I don’t want to spend that much to go to a wedding at this time.

So answer me this; should we:
A. Carelessly splurge our savings now, miss out on the wedding and be a Very Bad Friend, or
B. Plan to go and visit them next year when my ladyfriend and I will hopefully be employed and solvent, and be able to spend some quality time with them?

I’m a bit confused by your options, Jim. If you’re missing the wedding in option A, on what are you splurging your savings? Why are neither of the options ‘Go to the wedding’? Because although we usually advise couples to be circumspect about the likelihood of friends from abroad making it to their weddings, if you’re such a good friend that you’ve been asked to be best man, you really should try to go. Even if your girlfriend has to stay home, and you’re couchsurfing while you’re over there.

Do talk it over with your friend, though. Perhaps he can suggest cunning money-savers, people you could stay with, and at the very least excuse you from expensive stag adventures or all the pricey pre-wedding jollies that the Americans have managed to invent.

In 2009 my haphazard income forced me to miss the California wedding of a pair of my favourite friends, and I still regret it. This may be skewing my response to this question, so readers, go to the comments and tell Jim where to go. As it were.

If you do decide not to go, Jim, suggest your friend replaces you with something even better than a best man, like this fellow did.

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EPISODE 221 – the money shot

June 28, 2012

Hello listeners,

We’re as surprised as you to discover that Answer Me This! Episode 221 opens with a heated discussion upon the topic, ‘What is art?’ Check us out with our high brows!

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Naturally our brows don’t stay high for long; in decreasing order of highfalutingness, we talk about:

Edward Lear
double-ended ice cream
Tracey Emin
Jeremy Deller‘s teenage parties
the Marquis de Sade
firefighters
bridesmaids
pole dancing
Charlie Chaplin drowning horribly
the pull-out method
and
Annabel Chong.

Plus: Olly is horrified to discover that there’s a boarding school-style communal wanking game that he’d never heard of; Helen knows how to make anything unsexy, using ham; and Martin the Sound Man would like to remind you that you only have a couple of weeks left to enter his Science Songwriter of the Future competition, so make the old man happy because he’s got a bad ear this week.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App Helen gives you a great tip for making new friends on late-night public transport, based on her recent encounter with a stranger’s pelvis on the Victoria Line. That stranger’s pelvis could be all yours, if you avail yourself of the app on iDevices or Android! Don’t worry if you’re married; the pelvis won’t be worrying about that either.

We don’t want your pelvises, but we do want your QUESTIONS, so thrust them our way by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leaving voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis). As a reward, you may watch the video below of Eleanor from Norwich’s pole dancing team going about their totally sexless business.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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“Please raise a toast to…debt collection”

April 19, 2012

Another member of Team AMT is bitter and ready to smite innocent bystanders. It is Chris in Manchester:

I am shortly going to be best man at a wedding in which my ex-girlfriend will be attending. When we broke up she took it upon herself to ‘borrow’ £200 off me and not pay it back, as she claims she can’t pay what she hasn’t got. Should I use my best man’s speech to name and shame the thieving b@£$h in an attempt to get her to pay up?

NO. Unless the ongoing friendship of the groom is worth less to you than £200.

Instead, keep under cover. Start by slipping a threatening note into the little box of sugared almonds or whatever wedding favour they have laid at her place setting. Ramp up the menace by slipping a dead bird under her napkin. Then wait for her outside the Posh Portaloos with a crowbar.

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EPISODE 136 – fox piss liquitab

May 20, 2010

Hello there listeners,

For reasons outlined therein, we’re yawning and stretching during Answer Me This! Episode 136; but we sincerely hope you don’t:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

On today’s call sheet are topics including:

iron ore
Hereford Cathedral’s record-breaking library
abseiling
Jo Whiley’s washing tips
fishy Ashton Kutcher
chopsticks vs. cutlery
stripey horses vs. horned horses
communion wafers vs. transubstantiated flesh
Mel Gibson vs. Bob Dylan’s Planet Waves
pox vs. coma
weather houses
whitebait
Martika
grey hair
and
blue movies.

Furthermore: Olly only publicly relieves himself the classiest way; Helen shuns bridesmaids; and Martin the Sound Man is a silver fox, although hopefully not the same one that pissed in Olly’s trainers, or fisticuffs will ensue.

We also contemplate what makes us feel aged; proceed to the comments on this post to share your own. Although if you are only half our age, don’t. You are mere saplings, so enjoy that while we wheeze and wobble along the path of physical and mental decline.

Old or young, you are all very welcome to send us a QUESTION, so please do that by leaving a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or by sending an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 114 – a top hat full of goose feathers

October 22, 2009

What the Jazzy Jeff is going on with Answer Me This! Episode 114? It’s all full of SPORT! Bloody sport! Golf, boxing, Formula 1 AND the Cinnamon Challenge. We feel like traitors to our own podcast.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Thankfully, there’s less jocktacular business too, such as:

scurvy (again)
bridge rolls
Helge Rubinstein
Napoleon Dynamite
Acton bowling alley
Wanted
Johnny Ball Reveals All
butter vs. Banoffee Pie
Sean Kingston vs. Sean Paul
D.H. Lawrence
James McAvoy
and
the band Clock.

Plus: Olly suggests Angelina Jolie is ‘a bloke with tits, really’ AND manages to compare Cheryl Cole to a golf ball; Helen hopes that Auntie Tarantula isn’t listening to this episode; and Martin the Sound Man breaks the embargo on talking about balls, earning him 14 hours on the naughty step. Will he never learn?

Unfortunately Episode 115 will be out one day late next week; but if you need something to tide you over Thursday, perhaps this tract upon the benefits of dimples to the trajectory of golf balls, this will help. (I’m sure you’ll understand why we kept it brief in the podcast – laminar flow diagrams don’t come across so well in audio.) And you can help tide us over with YOUR QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

See you next Friday!

Helen and Olly

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