Posts Tagged ‘Santa’

EPISODE 380: fake beard on top of real beard

December 5, 2019

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Well Spotify just named AMT one of the top podcasts of the decade, so let’s conclude the 2010s as we began them: by answering your questions! Answer Me This! Episode 380 features a feast of such festive treats as:

candy canes
boarding school pranks
turkey trends
Christmas Day in London
artificial Christmas trees vs toilet brushes
Thanksgiving dinner vs Christmas dinner
Pirates of the Caribbean vs squid
getting drunk on brandy sauce
the Snow Buddies puppy tragedy
Mister Ed’s mouth
podcaster baubles
the Serpentine Christmas Day swimming race
fake wine
and
the SPAM Museum.

In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows – we belatedly celebrate Martinmas! Which has more to do with geese and vintners than echoey-voiced Sound Men, but he’ll take it nonetheless.

How about some more AMT festive-related material? In AMT329, we have a Santa truther child, and the Catalan tradition of the Shitting Log; in AMT357 there’s the filming secrets of Home Alone 2, what happened to the three wise men’s gifts, and what the “new old-fashioned way” is that people are dancing in ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’; in AMT364 we talk about how cranberries are farmed; and in AMT368 we learn about Saint Nicholas’s sidekicks, department store Santas, Jesus and Mary’s relationship, and gift snobbery.

And of course, there’s a whole hour of festive AMT funtertainment in the AMT Christmas album, available at answermethisstore.com for a tiny price. Also there are AMTs 1-200; if you’re looking for a place to start, episodes 160 and 200 sit nicely at this time of year.

Hear our other work!

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

We’ll be back with more AMT in 2020 – the podcast turns 13 (!!) in January, and as our birthday gift we want your QUESTIONS: send them, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT381 on 9 January 2020, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 18 December.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT380 Child-Friendly Rating: 78%. Some Santa Truth business. Discussion of puppy death. Couple of swears.
•••

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EPISODE 368: audio wank

December 10, 2018

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After much speculation about the owners of the legs in The Bill in AMT366, and then MORE speculation in AMT367, in Answer Me This! Episode 368 we can at last consider the mystery SOLVED! As solved as if Hercule Poirot himself had gathered us all in the drawing room and explained every detail from knee to sole for twenty minutes. What a capper to 2018!

We also discuss:

The Velvet Underground’s ‘The Gift
Zwarte Piet
fun with PVA glue
tweens
DVD gifts vs Blu-ray gifts
impersonal Christmas cards
St Nicholas’s sidekicks
department store Santas
Christmas in Wonderland
The Christmas Chronicles
Home Alone 2
Joseph ‘n’ Mary
and
slime.

Also, Martin wonders about the existence of a Lou Reed Christmas song. Does ‘Xmas in February‘ count? It’s more of a namecheck of festivity than festive itself.

In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – there are two kinds of fake eggs: Kinder, and aquafaba (as seen in the most recent series of GBBO). You’ve never heard someone so excited about vegan egg replacements as Martin here.

Check in with our other work: Helen makes the entertainment show about language The Allusionist; Olly hosts the magazine show The Modern Mann; and Martin the Sound Man examines the entire Tom Waits discography on Song By Song.

Thanks to today’s sponsors:
Squarespace makes it easy to set up a good-looking website for your projects. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.
Haynes publishing is running a Secret Santa deal on its books: get Bluffer’s Guides on a multitude of subjects or the parody Haynes Explains books for £5 each at haynes.com/santa

We’ll return in the new year with new episodes, so send us your QUESTIONS: any time, deliver a voice memo or a written question by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT369 on 3 January, and there’ll be a Retro AMT Best Of episode in your feeds on 20 December.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT368 Child-Friendly Rating: 47%. Several swears. Discussion of infidelity. Demystification of Santa. •••

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EPISODE 359: faxing the Pope

February 1, 2018

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Upon the last Winter Olympics in 2014, we fair shat ourselves with surprise and delight when Lizzy Yarnold, who won gold for Team GB in the skeleton, listens to AMT! She’s competing again this time, so GOOD LUCK, Lizzy. Do it for all of us who get most of our exercise running for the ice cream van.

People of all athletic abilities, Olympian or not: get ready to race through Answer Me This! Episode 359, to learn about:

pope tropes
hotel toothpaste
chewing toothpicks
your auntie’s Facebook pic
Dave Claus The Santa Dave
Defence Against the Dark Arts
Dumbledore’s aptitude for HR
the Center Parcs trees
the Center Parcs dome
the Center Parcs soft play that’s located in the bar/the Center Parcs bar that’s located in the soft play
karakia
cocktail swords
buttermilk
butterfat
and
globules.

Plus: we hear the latest in Olly’s gold pen nightmare scenario #OllyMannProblems; Martin figures out his title for when, as a Son of Santa, he inevitably takes up Santa duties; and Helen is already running down the beach to go swimming with some snazzy fish, so SEE YA.

The conversation about advance ticket-buying continues in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – as Olly wonders whether his son, aged 2, will be too sophisticated to enjoy the Teletubbies live on the stages of Hertfordshire..

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring the show, and for making it so easy to set up a good-looking website for your business, store, restaurant, art portfolio, band, podcast, smug travel wankery, etc. Have a go during the two-week free trial, then get 10% off Squarespace’s website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘.

You can also get two free Audible audiobooks if you go to answermethispodcast.com/audible. Two free audiobooks are better than one free audiobook which is better than no free audiobooks, so get yourself free audiobooks!

Send us your QUESTIONS: deliver a voice memo or a written question by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can still use the old ways of calling the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, but a lot of those messages haven’t been reaching us lately or are coming out sounding like you’ve just been eaten by a robot. So a voice memo is a safer bet.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT360 on 1 March 2018, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 15 February.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT359 Child-Friendly Rating: 62%. No bawdiness, but a couple of strong swears. •••

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Dear Santa

December 5, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT239

Here’s a festive question from Liz in Haskayne, Lancashire:

Today I have been writing letters to Santa with my toddlers (Toby, age 3 and Eden, age 2).

It got me thinking about what actually happens to all the letters sent to Santa. Surely they don’t send them on to the North Pole where there is some kind of giant paper recycling plant?

So, answer me this – what do Royal Mail and the like do with all that post for Santa?

They do send it on to Santa, of course, and Santa answers it himself – or at least rubber-stamps his signature onto a template letter he dictated to a secretary.

Then he puts the letter into a shredder and uses the shreddings to line the bottom of his hamster cage.

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EPISODE 160 – everything in the 70s was brown

December 9, 2010

Creeeeeak! What’s behind today’s advent calendar door? Is it a lovely picture of a robin? A verse of the nativity story? A little chocolate that tastes of solidified moisturiser? Let’s see……ooh, what a surprise! It is, instead, Answer Me This! Episode 160:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

And what surprises are therein? Well:

Ali Baba
JJB Sports
Princess Mary of Denmark
dead dogs
Halle Berry’s bum
Tina Turner’s legs
Sega Master System
the Thompson Twins
terrifying pores
Facebashing
British Home Stores
naval recruitment
‘The Night Before Christmas’
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Heidi Range-deer
scary cartoon Weetabix
an abundance of allen keys
The Silver Spoon
and
Plopp.

Plus: Olly is cockblocked by a statue of his newborn self; Helen tells you how not to throw like a girl; and Martin the Sound Man tells you how to make your Christmas protracted and boring. Whoopee! Also, don’t forget this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (which is now available on Android, huzzah!), which shows how a bunch of adults can dissolve into childish mirth during an upright discussion about advent calendars as soon as the word ‘flaps’ shows up. Flaps! Snigger.

You can send us QUESTIONS in the form of voicemails on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and we’ll stack them under the tree to open at Christmas. BUT! Next Thursday sees the first installment of the annual treat (debatably) that is our Best Of episodes, so if you have a favourite bit of AMT2010, please tell us about it on our Facebook wall or, if you forswear social networking, in the comments right here.

See you next week for the visit of the Ghosts of Podcasts Past,

Helen & Olly

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