What would you do with a copy of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged? One questioneer needs any answer other than ‘read it’. AMT418 also contains:
Charlie Chaplin’s moustache Richard Herring’s moustache Adolf Hitler’s gold teeth the point of decanters condom machines what’s in prop cigarettes the time Martin held a microphone in front ofThe X Files‘s Cigarette Smoking Man your neighbour’s golf noise vs your ears ‘bumper’ editions and going to The Club on reality TV shows.
Send us your questions for new episodes, and your feedback on old ones for Answer Us Back, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com in writing or voice note, or leave a voicemail at 0208 123 5877 like the old days. Remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. AMT419 will be out 25 June 2026 and the next Answer Us Back will land on on 11 June.
Become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis to get an ad-free version of AMT418 and a batch of Bonus Bits each month, plus our video livestreams Petty Problems – the next one of those will be 22:00 UK time on 28 June 2026.
If you sign up at one of the higher Patreon tiers, you get access to an RSS feed with ALL the AMT stuff EVER, including our entire back catalogue, our six themed albums, the retro AMTs, and every Bit of Crapp from the AMT App. AND you’re keeping this show going!
Helen makes the entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, where she is currently amid a miniseries about Dracula (original edition), Dracula (Icelandic adaptation) and Draculitz (Swedish adaptation). Listen to Draculae at theallusionist.org and in the podplaces.
Martin makes the weird experimental podcast Neutrino Watch, where each episode is a little different each day you download it. He also has a new album coming out soon, so get hyped for that by digging into the back catalogue of his songs, available via his Bandcamp.
This episode is sponsored by:
Saily, flexible eSIM data roaming plans for when you’re abroad. Download SAILY in your app store and use our code amt15 at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase. For further details go to saily.com/amt15.
The London Review of Books, the twice-monthly literary mag full of essays, reviews and more by excellent writers. Get a 6 month print and digital subscription for just £12 at LRB.me/answer.
Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, play around with the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
We’ve been making this show for a long time. We have had SO many questions about weddings. And yet, in AMT403, we get a whole fresh spin on the Wedding WTFery genre of question. We also discuss:
understudies’ pay the least worst cruise ships popcorn wet crunch vs dry crunch vertigo/acrophobia/illyngophobia loud cinema snacks posthumous shed clearance and Toby Carvery.
Plus: Olly wants neither moist feet nor minty balls, Helen doesn’t want the royal family to inherit her stuff when she dies, and Martin the Sound Man is unwilling to pound you to death on an ice rink, sorry. No, not in either sense of ‘pound’ as a verb.
Also: which retired or deceased artist would you want one more album/book/film/etc from? Tell us in the comments.
Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. New episodes will appear on the last Thursday of the month, so return to us on 27 March 2025.
Become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis to help with the resuscitation of AMT, and to get bonus material.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
Helen is on a break from the The Allusionist, her entertainment podcast about language, but there’s a ten-year archive which you can find at the podplaces and at theallusionist.org – including this episode about roller derby names.
Welcome! We hope you’re doing OK. We’re keeping AMT a pandemic-free pod, so if you’re looking for content to take your mind off things for a bit, Answer Me This! Episode 384 can provide, with topics such as:
shitty spinach
Tamworth (again)
speaking slower
ghostwriters
badger repellent
young person repellent
leopard print
lion poo
that old mining town your dad bought
a fortress of toasters
and
getting your head stuck.
Hear more about Macaronis in AMT324, and if you want to try making crumpets using discarded sourdough starter, here’s the recipe Helen and Martin used.
This month there is a double dose of Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows – where we discuss the most famous ghostwriter AND the most expensive toaster.
Hear our other work!
• Helen makes The Allusionist, an entertainment show about language, and Veronica Mars Investigations, recapping every episode of Veronica Mars from the beginning. Season two just begun.
• Olly hosts many podcasts, and you can find them all at ollymann.com, including The Week Unwrapped, The Media Podcast and The Modern Mann.
• Martin recently released a bumper new album, which you can hear palebirdmusic.com, on the Pale Bird podcast, and on Spotify etc. You can also join him in contemplating the work of Tom Waits in Song By Song, which has just got to the end of Black Rider.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.
Buy AMT episodes 1-200, our five special albums, and our Best Of compilations from 2007-2015 at answermethisstore.com.
Whatever happened to aerobics on morning telly, the corpse of Henry VIII, and cummerbunds? In Answer Me This! Episode 372, we crack these mysteries and more, including:
the Pete Best of the Spice Girls the Magic Castle dress code
fish death
taxi radio
Mr Motivator
‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ at the football Man of La Mancha
books as gifts
mummified monarchs
borrowing clothes from Switched On Pop
and
cummerbunds.
In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – our conversation about kings’ corpses turns to a surprisingly thoughtful contemplation of burial and shivah. And then away from that to Scooby-Doo.
Prepare yourselves, New Zealand and Australia, for an influx of Helen and Martin: the Allusionist live tour is coming to you. Check theallusionist.org/events for shows in Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne and Adelaide; more dates will be added soon.
Also! Listen to Olly’s new series about diets and body image, Tip the Scales, and it’s ready and waiting for you if you’re an Audible subscriber in the UK and a handful of other countries (commiserations, USA). You AMT listeners in the UK can get a free trial of Audible for a month at answermethispodcast.com/audible – or, if you’ve had such a thing before, you can get a spell of half price membership! And remember: 1. for each of you that takes up the trial, Audible gives us a little bit of money, even when you cancel without paying a thing; 2. you can keep your free audiobooks forever. Hear a sample of Tip the Scales HERE, then get your free Audible trial HERE then hear the whole series HERE.
Sing along to Martin the Sound Man’s gap year diary of songs: his new 40-track mega album The Year of the Bird, complete with illustrations and diaries about each song, is being released at palebirdmusic.com.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, with which you can easily and quickly set up a good-looking website for your projects eg your Oscar-nominated documentary. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.
While Britain Brexits, the rest of us brick it. Well, one listener certainly does, as the proud owner of a single brick. Congratulations, that man! We’re glad one listener in Answer Me This! Episode 334 is happy, at least. Others have trouble with:
public sex
haircuts in space
Apple Store geniuses
buttercups
the Pilton Glastonbury Festival
gravity vs hair-washing
wind chimes
ambient noise apps queening Eiffel Towering Jeff Lynne
and
the price of clay.
Plus: Olly attends a Barry Manilow rally; Helen makes clear the relationship between her and podcast listeners; and Martin the Sound Man manages to sully both sexy role play and the Apple Store in one line.
In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices), Olly is perplexed by the logistics of ‘queening’, and we wonder about the admin of having a particularly thrilling sex life.
For an easier-to-organise thrill, get the AMT Sports Day album from answermethisstore.com, where you can also purchase our other albums and episodes 1-200. And treat yourself to a free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible, to drown out the sound of Britain sticking its hand into the toaster and screaming with surprise when it hurts.
You can also spot a bit of Glastonbury in the Romance instalment of our Great* British Questions series of videos from a few years ago.
Answer Me This! Podcast 