Posts Tagged ‘ashes’

EPISODE 382: cold, damp and full of sinister dolls

February 6, 2020

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We love to hear back from questioneers we have answered in previous episodes, so what a treat to receive a new problem from Andrew from Melbourne, whose mother’s creepy collection of dolls popped up in AMTs 360 and 361! Hear his new difficulty in Answer Me This! Episode 382, as well as:

hotel bed stains
hotel bed graffiti
other uses for the cardboard Kylie cutout
albatross experiences
Ngorongoro Conservation Area
figure skating music
armpit fart music
a spare Book of Mormon
monks’ hairstyles
life coaching
and
fake wild animals.

In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows – we choose the songs for our Olympic ice skating routine, and yes, Martin the Sound Man is 100% That Wanker.

Valentine’s Day strikes next week, so get yourself in the mood with the AMT Love album: one hour of questions about sex and love and problems therewith, such as squirting, sexy clothes for your mum, and multiple penis holes. It, and all our special albums, and AMT episodes 1-200 are all available at answermethisstore.com.

Hear our other work!

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Send us your QUESTIONS, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT383 on 6 March 2020, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 20 February.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT382 Child-Friendly Rating: 72%. A couple of F-bombs, but no Ripe Content. •••

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ashes to ashes to your face

August 14, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT266

A cautionary tale from James from Lymm, Cheshire:

Listening to AMT266, your conversation about the legalities of burying people and ashes scattering had me in stitches. So much so that I had to get off my bicycle, lest I cause havoc on the roads.

It reminded me of something that happened a number of years ago when my sister and I were scattering my late father’s ashes.

This was when my sister and I lived at home. My father, he’d sat on the mantle-piece in his little metal urn for a number of years, and one day we got sick of looking at him and organised to go together to somewhere dear to him and us, to scatter his remains.

On the day we traveled to the designated place, and with all the gravity and sobriety requested on such an occasion we both said a little piece, popped open his canister, and upended him.

As expected ashes came ushering forth… only, just at the wrong time there was a gust of wind which as you can imagine played havoc with the scattering mechanisms.

Together we tried to ignore this fact; after my sister and i were done scattering ‘Pop’ we hugged and had a serious, heartfelt conversation. But it was nigh on impossible to keep a straight face between us, as both of our faces were covered in ashes!

So let that be a warning to anyone thinking about cremation. Make sure you conclude proceedings ONLY on a calm day.

Don’t worry, James, we’ve seen enough comedy films to know not to do that. For safety, we’ll be disposing of loved ones’ ashes the Keith Richards way.

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EPISODE 266 – the Queen’s gynaecologist

August 8, 2013

Good day, listeners,

In the words of Neely O’Hara, Answer Me This! Episode 266 is all ‘Boobies boobies boobies’: surgically enhanced ones, natural ones, milky ones, Kelly Brook’s ones…

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Aside from the boob-reverie, we discuss:

audience participation (get it away from us!)
poor old Queen Anne
backyard burial grounds
business cards vs. Michael Jackson
She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain When She Comes vs. ATB’s Till I Come
freelance gravediggers
singalonga musicals
Mutya Buena’s boosted buttocks
Darryn Lyons’ abs
and
forked tongues.

Plus: Olly specifies where his ashes are to be scattered; Helen doesn’t care if her craft legacy dies with her; and despite all his singing skills, Martin the Sound Man doesn’t have the range to sing in Aspects of Love. He’ll never get to be Michael Ball (ball!).

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, which is available for iDevices and Android, a revival of Olly’s beloved Hunting of the Snark might become a reality? Come on, Mike Batt – make a young Mann’s lifelong dream come true!

And you – make our combined dream come true by sending us QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

AMT266 Child-Friendly Rating: 70%. References to the songs of Peaches. Question about dead bodies. Discussion of boobs, natural and cosmetically altered. Very little swearing aside from an f-bomb.

PS Singalonga:

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