Hey, you! Yes, you – the man with the insecurity about your penis size! How would you like a new app that tells you how yours is the smallest wang in the world, and your ideal condom size is ‘Mouse Tail’? Well, colour yourself lucky – because today we tell you how to slim down your self-esteem by up to 100% in Answer Me This! Episode 244:
We also speak of:
carb crimes in Costco
gherkins
gurkhas
Bieber vs. Prince
Simon vs. Garfunkel
homemade peanut butter
dating disappointments
life disappointments
judgy mums
gushers
immigration officials
the green ink brigade
and
two thousand and late.
Plus: Olly wants to reclaim the red pen from censorious teachers and proofreaders; Helen makes good bread with her rough unfeminine hands; and Martin the Sound Man is all about the bell curve, laydeez.
Furthermore, if you’ve ever longed to hear Olly and Martin percussing their way through ‘The Boxer’ and ‘Born To Run’, you’re quids in! That is, you’re willing to expend two quids to get the AMTapp and thus this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android).
Finally! Please send us your QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.
See you next Thursday,
Helen & Olly
PS For revision purposes, here’s that Bieber-wets-himself video for ‘Beauty and the Beat’:
Although we’ve come
To the end of the road current series,
Still we can’t let go – because we’ll be back on 19th April with yet more Answer Me This!. So long and adieu, here is Episode 210:
Today we ponder:
the Angel of the North Pet Sounds
sham marriage a different type of big bird Tom Jones
Mel Blanc
emotions vs. money
Matt Willis vs. televisions
Alice Cooper vs. vending machines
Jesus vs. Spongebob Squarepants
Father Christmas on film
Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth
and
Abraham Lincoln.
Plus: we learn the one place where Olly actually keeps quiet; Helen whips ’em out for SPRIIIIIINNNG BREEEEAAAK!; and Martin the Sound Man puts a price on his hand in marriage. But you might as well barter him down to something more realistic, like £20 and a Chocolate Orange.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) is a question from Celeste from Elephant and Castle about whether you can sell your house without the intervention of an estate agent. Of course you can! But, before you ask, you are probably better off not performing your own laser eye surgery.
There is more to listen to during our absence, because by royal appointment (not really) we’ve released the Answer Me This! Jubilee, a 57-minute romp through the massive numbers of questions you lot send us about Her Maj and the like. Click here to get it.
Don’t forget us while we’re away: keep sending your QUESTIONS, as voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) and emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
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