Posts Tagged ‘babies’
July 21, 2011
Not to blow our own trumpets, readers, but we really solve a SHITLOAD of mysteries this week. What’s with carriage clocks? What’s Cher Lloyd on about? Why do people bother toiling away to earn money through honest means when they could just throw themselves in front of a moving car and rake in the compensation? Find out all in Answer Me This! Episode 184:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
We also speak of:
Facebook for babies
the great lost Arctic Monkeys single
the Golden Arches theory of conflict prevention
Parky’s Parker pens
‘Swagger Jagger’ vs. This is England
The Simpsons Movie – X-rated
David Cronenberg’s Crash, reimagined
bears’ pre-hibernation precautions
compensation culture
Prince Edward
bulk-buying Tampax
and
the Hairy Moment award.
Plus: Olly is already preparing for the minutiae of his life to be immortalised in a museum; heretical Helen sees the World Cup as a prosaic, nay ugly, object; and Martin the Sound Man at last clears up the common History exam question about what was the primary trigger for the Second World War.
This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone and iPad, or Android) is a question from Naomi about bathtime luxury, which unfortunately leads Helen to recall a magazine’s truly misbegotten sex tip involving pasta. Try it, then let us know whether we’re all missing out thanks to our reluctance to add spaghetti to our sexytime.
Hold up, we’re still not done! We recently guest-hosted an episode of the RadioTalk podcast; click here to hear it and find out more. And in high contrast to that serious podcast about podcasting, we also have the following: video evidence of the anonymous caller in AMT181 who thought his testicles, a stapler and the Keith and the Girl book would be a happy combination. If your curiosity really can’t resist, click here to watch. But we absolve ourselves from any responsibility for the consequences upon your psyche if you choose do so.
Something which has few negative consequences is sending us your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Come back next week to see what we’ve done with them in AMT185. We promise we won’t staple them to our testicles.
Bye!
Helen & Olly
Tags:accidents, advertising, Arctic Monkeys single, babies, bandages, bathing, baths, bears, bestiality, blood, bodily fluids, bodily functions, BRIT Awards, British Comedy Awards, business cards, car accidents, carpet, carriage clocks, Channel 4, Cher Lloyd, Cheryl Cole, children, clocks, contests, corporate gifts, crime, cups, cynical ploys, dreams, driving, drunken mistakes, Duke of Edinburgh, equestrianism, etiquette, Facebook, feminine hygiene, fraud, free gifts, free markets, friendship, gambling, history, horses, hygiene, injury, ITV, McDonald's, menstruation, Michael Parkinson, monarchy, More magazine, music, music videos, NME Awards, Olly's cat, parenting, parents, pasta, pedestrianism, penalties, Peter Dickson, piss, planking, pop, pop music, Prince Edward, Prince Philip, prizes, Procter and Gamble, retirement, royal family, royal wedding, royalty, Rupert Murdoch, sex tips, Sky, songs, spaghetti, Swagger Jagger, Tampax, tampons, telly, the Queen, The Simpsons, This Morning, Thomas L Friedman, toilet, trophies, urine, Visa, war, World Cup, WWII, X Factor, yuk
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May 26, 2011
Hello listeners, hello!
It’s been a long holiday, but huzzah, we have returned intact. Since last we spoke, Olly has entered his thirties, and Helen and Martin entered the matrimonial institution (with each other, don’t worry!), so as you will hear, Answer Me This! Episode 176 is all mature and responsible right from the off:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Conversation-nuggets in today’s gold-pan include:
divine disapproval of Helen’n’Martin’s legalised union
Gordon Ramsey’s Cambodian eggy treat
phallic salad
the Pringles saddle
Madonna as Cruella de Vil
Pamela Anderson as cola bottle
the tragic life of Mr E
Forever Plaid
freedom of the city
aldermen
grungers vs. lumberjacks
caviar vs. frogspawn
and
Peppa Pig.
Plus! If you’re looking to pull, just take Olly out on the town with you; Helen bemoans the public interest in whether her womb is available to let on a nine-month contract; and Martin the Sound Man does not want to sound Dickensian. Spoilsport! This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone or Android) is about the only meme to involve high-end millinery (that we know of): Princess Beatrice’s fancy hat.
It may have been a while, but you still know what to do: ask us QUESTIONS, in the form of voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. As a reward for your diligence, you can have free audiobooks and half-price Audible membership at answermethispodcast.com/audible until June 5th. Lazy people who don’t bother asking us questions are allowed those too, as an incentive. Carrot not stick, right? And carrot sticks best of all. Blend a metaphor, get a crudite, as our great-grandmothers used to say.
See you next week!
Helen & Olly
Tags:1990s, 90s, aldermen, Americanisms, animal cruelty, artificial foodstuffs, audiobooks, babies, Cambodia, candlelight salad, Carrie, caviar, clothes, cola, cookery, crisps, death, dog, Dom Joly, dramatics, E, Eels, eggs, ethics, etiquette, fish, foetuses, food, Freud, fruit, fur, grunge, guilds, hanging, hat, Helen's mum, husbands, London, Madonna, manners, Mark Everett, marketing, marriage, Martin White, memoirs, menarche, menstruation, Michael McIntyre, Middletons, Mr E, mums, Pamela Anderson, parents, parties, party games, periods, pets, phallic symbols, Philip Treacy, plaid, potato, Princess Beatrice, Princess Diana, Pringles, procreation, Procter and Gamble, puberty, pulling, royal wedding, salad, school play, Scotland, Scottish, shame, sheep, snacks, soft drinks, Swingers, tact, tartan, telly, Tina Fey, Tommy Lee, tradition, uterus, vegetarianism, vegetarians, Vince Vaughn, Virgin, weddings, wingmen, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS | 5 Comments »
March 3, 2011
This week, listeners, we go on a journey. Don’t worry – it’s not an emotional one like they have on reality shows! We go from Great Yarmouth to Gibraltar, California to Celebration, and end up in Utopia. It must be good if Cliff Richard is skating around it. Anyway, strap in and travel along with us in Answer Me This! Episode 169 (dudes):
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
We also consider:
Sam Cooke vs. Claire Tully
razor clams
dirty sexy waxworks
carp
Visalia
dusky pink
Alisha’s Attic
cork floors
sorghum
creative management tips from Jeffrey Archer
bathroom predictions from Sarah Beeny
dried apple
pork six-pack
and
Aberystwyth.
Plus: Olly wonders why toilet seat vendors have missed the opportunity to part this fool and his money; Helen fails to reap the full entertainment offered by a bowel movement; and Martin the Sound Man wishes* that the whole world could be as democratic where men’s crotches are concerned as Madame Tussaud’s is. If that’s not enough crotch for you for one week, today’s Bit of Crap on the App is us reminiscing about that 90s TV trend to line naked men up behind a screen then leer at their genitals. Relive those glory days of The Word with us on iPhone or Android.
It’s Lent next week, but we’re not going to give up answering QUESTIONS, so send them as voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Not that Lent holds much sway with atheist Jews, mind.
See you next week, for AMT170!
Helen & Olly
* He also wishes that you stick around till the very end of the episode to hear one of the songs off his new album ‘Songs from the Scientific Cabaret’. Make his wish come true, do. And come to see him play at the Geekpop festival on 10th March, why not? Because you’ll have given up geeky pursuits for Lent? Liar!
Tags:1960s, 69, Alex Winter, Alisha's Attic, Arcata, authors, awkward situations, B&Q, babies, basins, bathrooms, baths, Bill and Ted, Blackpool, bodies, bodily functions, bowel movements, California, cleverity, Cliff Richard, conception, convenience foods, cookery, corn on the cob, crap towns, creative pursuits, decor, degrees, Denise van Outen, diet, digestion, drunk-dialling, East Anglia, erectile dysfunction, erections, etiquette, fish, fish fingers, Gibraltar, goldfish, history, holidays, hygiene, inconvenient foods, Karen Poole, Keanu Reeves, Kylie, Latitude Festival, laziness, lethargy, libraries, Lizzy Roper, Madame Tussauds, marine life, Milton Keynes, money, new towns, News in Briefs, Norfolk, nudity, nutrition, packaging, Page 3, pancetta, penises, pets, poo, poverty, pregnancy, procrastination, restaurants, scat, seaside, sex, Shelley Poole, shellfish, sick, students, supermarkets, sweetcorn, tertiary education, the Sixties, The Word, Thorpe Park, toilets, tourism, town planning, UK tourism, utopia, vacations, Wales, writing
Posted in PODCASTS | 5 Comments »
February 10, 2011
Dear podcast-listeners,
There have been three times in his life where Olly Mann couldn’t speak French, so he let the funky music do the talking: 1) his GCSE French oral exam, which is why he received a D grade; 2) one mad, hot night at the Bruni-Sarkozy holiday bungalow; and 3) in Answer Me This! Episode 166:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
En Anglais, we talk of:
Blu-Tack sunblock
J.Lo’s nipple tweaker
the tragic end of Bobby in Home and Away
Bernard of Chartres
John Scurlock
Pyramus and Thisbe
Oasis
the Tower of London
James Bond: babyfather
the oldest underwater foot-tunnel (with some qualification)
disgruntled Beefeaters
Pretty Woman, Kate Middleton-style
bouncy bungalows
bouncy Roulette
Mike Flowers Pops
the Sea Life Centre vs. the Chunnel
sexy salad servers
Coventry
and
Teri Hatcher.
Plus: mainstream Olly prefers vaginas when a baby isn’t being shunted out of them; Helen discovers her new favourite TV channel; and Martin the Sound Man claims that when his dad said he was just “off to the glory hole”, there was a perfectly innocent explanation. Keep drinking the kool-aid, Martin!
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone or Android, yessir) is a question from Gareth about what’s the oldest thing still in use today. My dad’s underpants. HA. (Seriously: 40+ years’ service and still going strong.)
Please keep bombarding us with your QUESTIONS, by leaving us a voicemail on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or sending us an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
See you next Thursday!
Helen & Olly
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Tags:007, 1990s, 90s, Aardman animation, £2, babies, blowies, Blu-Tack, boobs, boring equipment, bouncing, bouncy castles, bra, bras, bridges, cats, Channel Tunnel, children, children's telly, coins, conception, condoms, construction, crown jewels, crowns, currency, Europe, Eurotunnel, ex-military, fellatio, films, frames, France, French, Friends, fun, games, glass-blowing, glory holes, Halle Berry, history, homosexuality, insanity, irony, J.Lo, James Bond, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, jewellery, jewels, Kate Middleton, kids, La Manche, ladies' undergarments, lingerie, London, M&S, Midlands, military, mining, Mitterand, monarchy, money, nipples, Noel Gallagher, Oliver Cromwell, olives, Olly's cat, parties, people who like animals more than people, perversion, pets, Pretty Woman, Prince Charles, Prince William, Princess Diana, prisons, procreation, rabies, rates, rats, Robert Hooke, Roulette, royalty, safe sex, scuba-builders, sex, Sir Isaac Newton, soap operas, stationery, STDs, sterling, STIs, stoners, students, technology, telly, Tellytubbies, Thatcher, the Beatles, the Channel, the Queen, the ring of death, tourist attractions, Tower of London, tunnelling, TV, undergarments, underwater, underwear, unsafe sex, video, wifi, Wills'n'Kate, wood
Posted in PODCASTS | 15 Comments »
January 27, 2011
Dear fellows,
Are you keeping calm? Are you carrying on? Because this week, in Answer Me This! Episode 164, we wonder how a morale-boosting WWII poster spawned all of this shit (nb by ‘this shit’ we don’t mean the episode here):
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
But before we get onto that, we talk of:
the G6 Summit
Bruce Wayne’s toilet
Jingle All the Way
Muffin the Mule
bingo wings before bingo wings
kleftiko
Levi Strauss
Tinie Tempah
Club Med vs. opera
synergy vs. symbiosis
pranks vs. sexual harassment
Tape
the fresh air suburb
domesticity, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-style
Groupon’s discount slaves
Shingai Shoniwa cutlets
and
bat guano.
Furthermore: Olly sees what could have happened to X Factor alumni G4, given a Sliding Doors-style alternative existence; Helen scripts Downton Abbey without ever having seen it; and if you catch Martin the Sound Man scrutinising your crotch when you’re at a public urinal, don’t worry – he’s just conducting a survey. At least, that’s his story, m’lud.
And if that weren’t bad enough news for your genitals, this week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a cautionary tale of how if you go orienteering, you’ll most likely get a stinging nettle on your reproductive organs. Heed that warning on iPhone or Android. Those of you with elderly phones, just remember to keep your pants on AT ALL TIMES. For nature can be so cruel.
Happily, you don’t have to keep your pants on in order to ask us QUESTIONS: all you have to do is send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by dialling 0208 123 5877 or Skyping answermethis.
Actually, it would be better if you kept your pants on. Sorry. We’ve got such sensitive constitutions.
See you next Thursday!
Helen and Olly
PS. If you’ve ever done anything particularly G6-like yourself, by all means show off about it in the comments.
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Tags:accidents, actors, Arnold Schwarzenegger, babies, Batman, bats, Ben Affleck, bicycles, Big Smoke, bodily fluids, bonnets, branding, Bruce Wayne, Bullseye, bullshit, bureacracy, bureaucrats, business, business bullshit, butchery, car crash, carbon footprint, carpet, Celebrity Juice, choir, cleaners, cleaning, cloth, cohabitation, cosmetics, Crystal Palace, cuts, cycling, denim, documents, Downton Abbey, Emmerdale, environment, etymology, fabric, face cream, fashion, Fearne Cotton, flatmates, food, genitalia, Genoa, green pen, Groupon, Hampton Court, Holly Willoughby, Hugh Bonneville, infidelity, ITV2, jeans, lamb, language, law, lawyers, Leigh Francis, Lizzie Roper, London, Maldon, Martin White, material, meat, Michael Caine, moisturiser, music industry, nanny state, nicknames, Nimes, nuts, Old Smoke, penis, period drama, Pez, phrases, pregnancy, probability, products, puppets, red pen, red tape, ribbon, rice, Richard Linklater, San Jose, sayings, sex, slavery, slaves, smog, squirrels, teachers, testicles, the apprentice, Tolkien, Toy Story, toys, Trevor McDonald, trousers, Uncle Ben, Upper Norwood, urination, urine, USA, wings
Posted in PODCASTS | 7 Comments »
March 18, 2010
Hello there, chums!
We know you’re probably still watching the new Lady Gaga video that you clicked on last Friday, but when you need a break from [SPOILERS!] all the killing, the Kill Bill Pussy Wagon, and Beyonce’s impassive acting [/spoilers], then Answer Me This! Episode 127 is right here waiting for youuuuuu:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
On this week’s agenda:
Charles Fey
San Francisco special bread
McDonald’s apple pies
steak on a stake
Apt Pupil
malaria
killer whales
Steve Coogan vs. Rednex
Snoop Dogg vs. the UK
gambling machines vs. Canadian homosexuality cures
and
American Psycho.
Furthermore, Olly angers Jesus by using his Gideon’s Bible for nefarious purposes; Helen ponders the fugitive crayfish of Tunbridge Wells; and Martin the Sound Man can get you a nice Geiger counter if you slip him £50, no questions asked. Oh, you’ve already got one? Say no more. Plus, we solve the total non-mystery of what happened to former AMT flatmate Matthew Crosby, for the 0.001% of you who are curious.
As always, we enjoy it ever so much when you ask us QUESTIONS, so please do so by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leaving a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. In addition, if you have an opinion on what is the world’s grimmest book scene, express it in the comments – but please, keep any descriptions euphemistic, for we and many of our readers are of delicate constitutions. Also we already get more than enough Weird Googlers as it is.
See you next Thursday,
Helen and Olly
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Tags:air travel, babies, bestiality, Bible, birthsongs, Black Eyed Peas, booze, customs, death, dignity, disease, drama, Egypt, embalming, etymology, fetishes, food, giraffes, gore, Heathrow, history, horror, literature, malaria, maritime, Misery, mosquitoes, mummies, pain, parrots, pasties, perversion, rhymes, school, ships, shopping, Stephen King, theatre, words, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS | 23 Comments »
November 19, 2009
Look, we know that ALL of you are in too great a tizzy about the impending release of the new Twilight film to concentrate on Answer Me This! Episode 118, but try. Just for us. Even though we’re not all sparkly and bouffant:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
This week we speak of:
Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
Smeg fridges
the True Blood theme tune
Helen’s dad vs. Peter Pan
the colour of Jesus
Lois Duncan
stupid terrorists
Dermot O’Leary
Red Dwarf
and
fun things to do in Birmingham (UK, not Alabama).
Additionally, Olly dreams of walking through a sewer with Dan Ackroyd and a Ninja Turtle; Helen swoons over a Come Dine With Me contestant who seems to have OCD and too few hobbies; and Martin the Sound Man brings up The Master and Margarita as casually as Helen’s baby nephew brings up his lunch. Just in case you were wondering, he is THE CLEVEREST MAN IN THE WORLD. Try to forget it. He won’t let you.
Please, as ever, send in YOUR QUESTIONS – via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877 – and if you want to tell us about your funny or far-fetched nickname like Smeg did this week, please do so in a comment upon this post. But it has to be a good one, OK? “My name’s David but my friends call me Dave” will not cut it! You’re competing against an adult man named Smeg, remember.
See you next week!
Helen and Olly
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Tags:babies, bombs, Bruce Springsteen, chocolate, Coldplay, cookery, death, family, food, gold, movies, music, myth, personality flaws, phrases, reality tv, sex, taste, television, terrorism, X Factor
Posted in PODCASTS | 25 Comments »
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