Posts Tagged ‘Michael Caine’

EPISODE 395: Hollyboob

March 4, 2021

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Put your arm out, palms up, now touch your biceps, cradle the back of your head, hand on hip, other hand on other hip, pat each buttock and JUMP because yes, in Answer Me This Episode 395, we’re learning about the Macarena dance! As well as:

luxury car raffles at airports
pompoms on hats
Rita Ora’s millinery
sleeping in tents vs bears
the Hollywood sign
Viking statues with boners
fly-pasts at the Super Bowl
wearing sports merch for a team you don’t support
and
Michael Caine and a Thermos flask full of plague-carrying eggs.

After a harried questioneer raised the problem of dealing with the mediocrity of children in AMT394, in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for Apple and Android – listener Elly has some suggestions. And Olly has a more bold/less tactful suggestion.

Hear our other work:

• Helen makes The Allusionist, an entertainment show about language, and Veronica Mars Investigations, recapping every episode of Veronica Mars from the beginning – now powering to the end of season 3!
• Olly hosts many podcasts, and you can find them all at ollymann.com, including his monthly magazine show The Modern Mann and weekly under-the-radar-news show, The Week Unwrapped.
• Martin makes music – including a new EP – which you can hear palebirdmusic.com, on the Pale Bird podcast, and on Spotify etc. You can also join him in contemplating the work of every song by Tom Waits Tom Waits in Song By Song, and he produced and composed the kids’ science podcast Maddie’s Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate.

Hang out with us online at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

This episode is sponsored by:
The Great Courses Plus, the streaming library of courses on topics from piano-playing to yoga to ancient history to dog training. AMT listeners get a free fortnight at thegreatcoursesplus.com/answer.
Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Buy AMT episodes 1-200, our six special albums including the Valentines-appropriate AMT Love, and our Best Of compilations from 2007-2015 at answermethisstore.com.

Send us your QUESTIONS, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com for us to answer in future episodes.

We’ll be back with AMT396 on 1 April 2021, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 18 March.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT395 Child-Friendly Rating: 91%. No grot! Are there swears? Can’t remember! Not any memorable swears, anyway! •••

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EPISODE 164 – children have got to learn that sometimes they’re WRONG

January 27, 2011

Dear fellows,

Are you keeping calm? Are you carrying on? Because this week, in Answer Me This! Episode 164, we wonder how a morale-boosting WWII poster spawned all of this shit (nb by ‘this shit’ we don’t mean the episode here):


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

But before we get onto that, we talk of:

the G6 Summit
Bruce Wayne’s toilet
Jingle All the Way
Muffin the Mule
bingo wings before bingo wings
kleftiko
Levi Strauss
Tinie Tempah
Club Med vs. opera
synergy vs. symbiosis
pranks vs. sexual harassment
Tape
the fresh air suburb
domesticity, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-style
Groupon’s discount slaves
Shingai Shoniwa cutlets
and
bat guano.

Furthermore: Olly sees what could have happened to X Factor alumni G4, given a Sliding Doors-style alternative existence; Helen scripts Downton Abbey without ever having seen it; and if you catch Martin the Sound Man scrutinising your crotch when you’re at a public urinal, don’t worry – he’s just conducting a survey. At least, that’s his story, m’lud.

And if that weren’t bad enough news for your genitals, this week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a cautionary tale of how if you go orienteering, you’ll most likely get a stinging nettle on your reproductive organs. Heed that warning on iPhone or Android. Those of you with elderly phones, just remember to keep your pants on AT ALL TIMES. For nature can be so cruel.

Happily, you don’t have to keep your pants on in order to ask us QUESTIONS: all you have to do is send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by dialling 0208 123 5877 or Skyping answermethis.

Actually, it would be better if you kept your pants on. Sorry. We’ve got such sensitive constitutions.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

PS. If you’ve ever done anything particularly G6-like yourself, by all means show off about it in the comments.

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EPISODE 161 – A Question of Soup

January 6, 2011

Hello!

Today, 6th January, is of course Epiphany, the day on which the Three Wise Men called round to see the baby Jesus. It is also the day that the Three Unwise Men’n’Women unleashed Answer Me This! Episode 161, which is only slightly less suitable a baby-gift than a jarful of myrrh.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In this first podcast of the new year, we contemplate:

soup-straws
American military acronyms
In Bruges
Waterfit
water-avoiding
‘Gay Bar’ by Electric Six
muscular veiny crotches
Winnie-the-Pooh
Paul Merton
the Pet Shop Boys vs. Half-Life 2
children’s stories vs. beat poets
the best Christmas films ever – see what Team AMT opted for here
the least bad bits of Love Actually (that was quick)
and
Slash’s unusual tureen.

Plus: Olly vows to kick off his New Year’s fitness drive – motivated partly by vanity and health, but more by recouping wasted gym money; Helen anticipates the timely death of the Zaltzman family dog; and virus-laden Martin the Sound Man grits his teeth and tries to survive the episode without exploding with a big gush of gutwater. Cheer up the poor man by listening to some of his music here.

Today’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone and Android, app-fans) is all about Frank Bruno’s penis. Clue: it’s a whopper.

Can you believe we have now entered the FIFTH year of Answer Me This!? It would have been zero years had it not been for your QUESTIONS, so please keep supplying them: leave voicemails on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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Great British Questions Episode 2: Film

July 27, 2010

We’re delighted you all seemed to enjoy last week’s video of us tooling around Britain in search of cheese; and we hope you feel just as well-disposed towards Episode Two of Helen and Olly’s Great British Questions:

Where is Britain’s Hollywood?

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Starring, in order of appearance:

Princes Street, Edinburgh, where in 1995 the iconic opening sequence to Trainspotting was filmed, and in 2010 our iconic looking-like-total-dicks sequence was filmed.
Crystal Palace Park – come for the Victorian dinosaurs and the biggest maze in London; stay for the swimming pool which is 20cm too short to be used in the Olympics.
Stonehenge, where the banshees live and they do live well.
Dyrham Park, Gloucestershire, where Sir Anthony Hopkins lived in Remains of the Day – before he got into chewing off human faces.
Antony House, Cornwall. Too bad that, blinded by giant plastic mushrooms, we missed its ‘national collection of daylilies’.
Burghley House, Lincolnshire – home to a herd of deer, the horse trials, and Queen Victoria’s marital bed.
The Cars of the Stars Museum, Keswick – not the average Lake District attraction.
Carnforth station, Lancashire. They play Brief Encounter on a loop in the waiting room, which would be a pleasant distraction when your train is running 40 minutes late because there’s a cow on the tracks.
• Oxford, including Christ Church College and the Bodleian Library. Not including kebab vans or getting run over by drunk students on bikes.
• London, playing multiple roles:
Platform 9 3/4 at King’s Cross;
Postman’s Park out of Closer. The Julia Roberts’n’Jude Law film, not the telly thing starring Kyra Sedgwick.
The church of St Bartholomew the Great – oy, no need to brag, Bartholomew!
• Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament, which star on the BBC Parliament channel all day, every day.
• also, nominated for the award for best supporting location: St Paul’s Cathedral, the O2 Arena, the London Underground, Notting Hill, County Hall, and Tower Bridge (out of that Fergie video about a different bridge entirely).

But let’s not forget all the behind-the-scenes crew: the cinematographer, the craft services, the key grip…OK, it was just me and Olly with two camcorders. But we couldn’t have made this film without the invaluable assistance of:
Jill Collinge – if ever you want to spend a very entertaining and interesting afternoon looking around the beautiful historic town of Stamford in Lincolnshire, Jill is your woman.
Philip Gompertz, for showing us around Burghley House. It’s really not too shabby.
Chay Allen, for allowing Olly to nestle his head in his crotch.
Shalini Jadeja, for risking life and limb running backwards with a camera through Edinburgh – and before breakfast, too!
And the Weinsteins of this operation: Tess Longfield and Rachel Aked at VisitBritain.

Please return next Tuesday for Great British Questions Episode Three: Romance.
For more VisitBritain finery, join their Facebook page; and for more of our tomfoolery, peruse the photos below.

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Helen and Olly’s Great British Questions

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