Welcome, listeners, to the first Answer Me This! of 2010:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In which we speak of:
the Next sales Sherlock Holmes
sweetbreads
condominiums
the son of Sam
Golden Wonder
Stanley Kubrick
the Queen’s Speech
Scotch woodcock
Johnny Carson
snake lungs
Anne Frank
and
the best public lavatories in Balham.
Furthermore: Olly manages to draw comparison between Lolita and Match of the Day; Helen manages to draw comparison between estate agents and kidnapped children; and Martin the Sound Man manages to draw comparison between a suitable Christmas present for his girlfriend and a DVD boxset about serial killers. Let’s hope he didn’t buy it for research purposes.
We’ve a list of chores for you to do this week:
1) click here to get yourself a free Audible audiobook;
2) share your neuroses, like shark-fearing questioneer Bunty did, in a comment on this post;
3) decide for the world whether humans are red meat or white meat by voting in this poll
4) if you’re still steaming about Walkers Crisps’ packet colours (and frankly, we aren’t), sign the petition;
5) listen to Martin the Sound Man’s latest music podcast;
6) and, of course, send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.
So, after you’ve done all those, we’ll see you next week for Episode 122!
***WARNING: This episode contains spoilers
about the 1994 Coen brothers film The Hudsucker Proxy***
Undaunted? Then by all means listen on, but don’t complain to us when you get to the 19th minute and discover that 15-year-old plot twist:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
This week we bang on about:
Philip Larkin’s debut novel
the three second rule
Tom of Finland
Sir Patrick Mayhew
Jason and the Argonauts
Lorraine Kelly, record-breaker
Stephen Fry’s Paperweight
Sir Menzies Campbell
Rick Witter
the Milton Keynes Snow Dome
Vince McMahon
Porthos
urethral openings
raw chicken Brewster’s Millions
and
travelators.
Also: how Olly breaks wind stealthily; how Helen’s congenital squint ruined Up for her; and how bananas work, according to Martin the Sound Man. You’d been wondering for years what secrets those little bastards were concealing, hadn’t you?
As ever we’re greedy for YOUR QUESTIONS, so ask ask ask via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. We’re very grateful to all of you who shared your stupid nicknames last week – which everyone else can enjoy here; this week, you have the easy task of leaving a comment with your answer to Jorge from Mexico’s question, telling us what you would like to do for one day and one day only. Nothing too blue, please; the shock could kill us.
Also, if you are planning on doing any pre-Christmas Amazon orders, would you be a tremendous dear and log onto their site via this link first? Your Amazonian shopping experience will be 100% the same; however we will then get approx. £0.0000001, which we can put towards a new microphone, or the high-class courtesan we’ve been saving up for. Much obliged to you.
At the time of writing, two urban foxes are noisily copulating outside AMT Towers. It really is the most unheavenly sound. Hopefully Answer Me This! Episode 117 is rather kinder to the ear:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Today we talk of:
the Ban The Bang campaign
book tokens
war memorials
Subway flouting ancient Jewish food laws
bananas The Shadow Of The Wind
FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL
Sir Walter Scott
coloured bow ties
poor nervy birds
and
pineapples up the arse.
Plus: Olly offends Andrew Lincoln but stands up for the meerkats; Helen exposes her brother’s audacious present-recycling tricks; and Martin the Sound Man tries out his common touch, but fails to convince. C-, Martin!
As ever, we want YOUR QUESTIONS via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877; and this week we would also like you to comment upon this post with your top tips for godparents (are you one? Do you have one? And aside from the obligatory birthday tenner, have you ever actually been deployed in active godparental service?). Alternatively, you can share stories of the worst present you have ever given, in an attempt to amuse us whilst assuaging the guilt that will NEVER LEAVE YOU. Win-win.
Contrary to what we said last week about releasing Episode 115 a day late, here we are, on Thursday, with Episode 115 ready to go! Don’t believe us? The evidence awaits your ears:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Paving this week’s boulevard of broken brains are such topics as:
Antoni Gaudí
Wembley stadium
pre-Photoshop trickery
ancient nail-varnish
Durham Cathedral
war games
the Crystal Palace Museum
Fabric vs. fabric
prostitution vs. rental contracts
and
Chapel Carter.
Plus: Olly gives his Top Tips for bloggers; Helen gives her Top Tips for staying awake at Coldplay concerts; and Martin the Sound Man pretends to know about football, confuses Brazil and Mexico, and generally undoes all the good work he’d put in to convincing us all that he’s clever.
As usual, we’re hungry for YOUR QUESTIONS, which you can email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave as a voicemail on Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877; but we also really need your help in determining what this week’s final questioneer Reggie should do about his epilepsy/girlfriend/cat/overpriced dog problem. Listen, then please vote:
We’re sure Reggie will appreciate it, and that his girlfriend probably won’t. But hey, democracy can’t please everyone all of the time.
Goodness gracious great balls of fire, Team AMT, it’s time for Answer Me This! Episode 112:
[ This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In which we ponder:
Agatha Christie vs. depression
the regional Kriss Kross revival
modern scurvy So I Married An Axe Murderer
fake Berocca
first date fault-finding
Theseus Birds of a Feather
David Beckham’s squeaky voice Gwyneth Paltrow’s greasy legs
and
calcium oxide.
Plus: Olly’s cat is a miracle cure; Helen’s got some fancy knobs (fnarr!); and Martin the Sound Man smooth-talks himself into the affections of the in-laws. NB that was in the days before he peppered his sentences with terms like ‘cunnyhouse’ and ‘jizzflappers’. We miss those innocent times.
Anyway, if you have any QUESTIONS with which to delight our foolish hearts and foolish minds, you can email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave them in voicemail form on Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. We look forward to them like we look forward to a cup of tea and a bun. That is, A LOT. Don’t you know us at all by now?
Do you want to cut your calorie intake without having to reduce the amount of tasty and satisfying food you force down your gullet? This amazing new diet has nothing to do with acai berries, meal substitute shakes or laxatives. How? Find out all about Oliver Mann’s ‘Pacifies as it Satisfies’ regime for FREE by listening to Answer Me This! Episode 110:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Don’t worry; if you already possess an untubby belly and bony thighs, there’s still stuff in this podcast for you. For instance:
Pimp My Ride
meteorological gender inequality
Cernunnos Your Five Gallants by Thomas Middleton
puffa jackets
morning glory The Magician’s Nephew
Rice Krispie cuboids
and
Hurricane Martin.
Furthermore, Olly is a silver-tongued devil for felines; Helen invents the worst party theme ever; and Martin the Sound Man says ‘lady’s vagina’ completely unnecessarily. You’re surprised, I can tell.
Also, you can give everyone a treat by sharing your outstanding stag or hen party horror stories, because you know how we love to live vicariously and hate to get our own feet covered in sick. Stick them in a comment on this post, and maybe in a few years’ time someone will make them into a hilarious and squirm-inducing film.
Answer Me This! Episode 108 is one for the record-books! Why? Is it the world’s fastest-ever podcast? No. Is it the world’s fattest-ever podcast? Possibly… Oh, shut up. Actually, the superlative achievement we refer to is this: in today’s episode, we read out our longest-ever question. Yes! You excited? Tarry no longer:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
As well as the behemoth question, we talk about:
Lady Sovereign
the Romans
cuttlefish
head ushers
pierced kidneys
Coinstar machines
sex in tents
Sinitta
Brian Wilson Mr Bean
and
groats.
Furthermore, Olly displays a surprisingly delicate sensibility towards the bare-chested ladies of Page 3; Helen blames a broken mirror for her sub-par exam results, rather than the fact that she was too lazy to do any revision; and Martin the Sound Man will soon be auditioning for a new Best Man – mint-condition applicants ONLY, please; he’s not taking anyone else’s cast-offs.
This episode also comes with illustrations! Like Storyteller magazine – ‘ting!’ when you turn the page, etc etc – only in this case, your cue is when you hear us talking about grisly piercings, at which point you may want to view these pictures (SFW, don’t worry).
If you have any unusual body-art you feel compelled to share with us – or, preferably, you have some QUESTIONS for us, please get in touch: email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or croon them into the ear of Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. Plus if you’re a cheapskate with a bit of advice for William from Larne’s student budget, please leave it in a comment below (don’t worry, it’s totally free).
Today’s the start of Ramadan, so best of luck with that, Muslim listeners; we’d imagine a daylight fast would be considerably easier at a time of year when the days weren’t still so damn long, but maybe Answer Me This! Episode 105 will help take your mind off it:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Therein we talk upon the following matters:
lunch dates
Danelectro guitars
Greek GCSE (ancient, not modern)
sodium hydroxide
Noah’s ark
North Dublin Dyson Ball
Helen’s granny’s anecdotes (granecdotes?)
evolution favouring Agatha Christie
Michael Palin
and
East Croydon.
Plus: had he not liked TV so much, Olly could have been a priest by now; Helen invites you all to take a turn in Martin the Sound Man’s beard; and Martin the Sound Man manages to analogise Girls Aloud to crisps, albeit unconvincingly.
Also, because we are Vampires feeding off the Misery and Failure of others, if you have managed to do a massive fuck-up in a job interview like Neal from Crawley, please tell us all about it by posting a comment below; and as ever, send us your QUESTIONS in the form of an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or a voice message via Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.
Oh and if you’re a fan of buying stuff, you might enjoy some of our new Merch from www.cafepress.com/answermethis. If you like looking at Martin the Sound Man’s face, you might covet one of these; or if you like sitting on our faces, how about this?
And welcome to the last episode before we hit triple figures. Next week’s podcast will of course be our Live Super-Festive Snazzy Centenary Extravaganza at the iTunes Festival, but until then there’s Not-Live Non-Festive Moderately Snazzy Nonanovantian Normalaganza, Episode 99:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
To limber up after the month off, we contemplate:
Stanley Kubrick’s stationery
Paul McCartney’s flatmate potential
spreadable butter
sleeve tatts
onion bhajis Apple Barn
Dannii Minogue Jackass
this unconvincingly world-famous restaurant gimmick
messy Kate Nash
and
flesh tunnels.
Plus: Olly talks utter balls about balls; in a tortoise vs. hare-style victory, Helen’s book beats the internet in a race to be informative; and Martin the Sound Man finally builds up a bit of resistance to basic innuendo, although not without some false starts.
We may be getting on, but our tastes haven’t changed: we want YOUR QUESTIONS, and we want them now! Well, not now, but soonish, for the new series. So please gather them and email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or deliver with your voice into our answering machine on the other end of 0208 123 5877 or Skype id answermethis.
See you next week, when we will score a podcasting century!
first? Your Amazonian shopping experience will be 100% the same; however we will then get approx. £0.0000001, which we can put towards a new microphone, or the high-class courtesan we’ve been saving up for. Much obliged to you.
by Thomas Middleton
Answer Me This! Podcast 