Author Archive

AMT402: 50,000 tonnes of baked beans

January 30, 2025

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Can you bloody well believe it? New AMT in your ears in the year 2025?? Well, it’s real! In AMT402, we discuss:

roller derby names
pirate ships tall ships
art that is EVEN BETTER IRL than it is printed on the tea towels in the gallery gift shop
beach powder
negging/sycophantic book dedications
ear protectors for dogs
Branston Pickle
Loyd Grossman biopic WHEN
the Baked Bean Museum of Excellence
and
the medical dangers of bagpipes.

Thanks to all of you who submitted questions! To supply one for upcoming episodes, send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. New episodes will appear on the last Thursday of the month, so check back in with us on 27 February 2025.

You know who will be hearing from us well before then, though? Our sweet patrons. You already are one? Great job, you! Prepare yourself for some bonus material. Want to become one? Join at patreon.com/answermethis.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. To build an online home for your side hustle, or front hustle, or underhustle, go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

Olly has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com

Helen is on a break from the The Allusionist, her entertainment podcast about language, but there’s a ten-year archive which you can find at the podplaces and at theallusionist.org – including this episode about roller derby names.

Martin‘s other sounds include songs, available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.

BIG BIRTHDAY NEWS

January 2, 2025

Happy birthday to AMT, turning 18 years old today! Which means our baby is now an adult, and we are celebrating by….

🎉 BRINGING THE PODCAST BACK! 🎉

Hear all about it (and/or there’s a transcript is at the bottom of this post):

We’re going to try it out with new monthly episodes on the last Thursday of the month, for the next three months. So the show will return with AMT402 on 30 January 2025, 403 on 27 February, 404 on 27 March…

And after that? Well, if we’re enjoying it, and you’re enjoying it, we hope to continue. We need your help, though, in the following three ways:

  1. Send us your questions. This podcast depends on them! Send them in writing or as a voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – ideally including the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. As always, your questions can be about all sorts of things: pop culture, history, moral dilemmas, romance, workplace feuds, etiquette, myths, whatever is causing your brow to furrow.

    Also, if you want to fill us in on how you are and what’s been happening in your life in our absence, please do.
  2. a) Tell people the show is back. Social media? Great! Old media? Fantastic. Writing it across your face and running around the supermarket? Could work. We’d love for listeners old and new to hear that AMT is returning.

    b) Resubscribe in your podcast app. And set to auto-download new episodes while you’re there. Nowadays a lot of the podcast-listening apps will stop updating you with new episodes if you haven’t recently listened to one. Don’t let ’em!
  3. Fund the show at patreon.com/answermethis. Your contributions will help keep it going. And we have some sweet extra perks for you coming up just as soon as the show is up and running again.

That’s all our demands! For now. We’re excited to answer your questions again, and to witter in your ears while you commute or work out or do the gardening or nurse the baby or fall asleep.

H&O

Transcript:

(more…)

Episode 401: bananas gone wild

April 6, 2023

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Welcome back AMT for one special new episode! So much has changed since we retired nearly two years ago, but what remains is our desire to answer YOUR QUESTIONS. Thanks so much for sending them, we loved hearing from you again.

In AMT401/season 2 episode 1, we answer about:

working somewhere world-famous
couples competing for pork
the Whittlesea Straw Bear Festival
‘detestable’ birds
rock badgers
award-winning kebab vans
Four Loko
hoedowns
buying one banana
looking at your own semen under a microscope
and
Danielle Steel’s desk.

Content notes/child-friendly ratings: discussion of alcoholic drinks with mention of drunkenness. A handful of swears. A question at the end about looking at your own sperm through microscopes.

Hear our other work:

Olly Mann has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com

Helen Zaltzman makes the The Allusionist, an entertainment podcast about language, which you can find at the podplaces and at theallusionist.org.

Martin Austwick’s music is available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.

This episode is sponsored by:

Wondrium, the streaming library of tutorials, lectures, documentaries, how-to videos, travel, craft and much more! AMT listeners get a month of free access to the whole library at wondrium.com/answer.
Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ‘ANSWER’.

We don’t know whether/when we will pop up in your feed again, so stay subscribed! And follow us on facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/helenandolly.

Helen & Olly

Screenshot 2025-01-02 at 10.30.52

This is not a drill

March 2, 2023

We’re coming out of retirement for one last job.

There’ll be a new episode in your podfeed on the first Thursday of April, ie 6th April 2023, and for it, we need YOUR QUESTIONS.

You remember the procedure: send your queries to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com in written or voicenote form. Your deadline is 13 March. 

Do it, because you never know how long it’ll be before we unretire again!

Your gone but not forgotten friends,

Helen and Olly

EPISODE 400: unflown squeakers

August 5, 2021

Well this is it, listeners. After 14 years and 8 months and many thousands of questions, AMT400 is the last episode of the show. Sob!! But we’re surfing out of here on a wave of your lovely, lovely messages – as well as a British Podcast Award for hanging in there for so damn long – and some excellent questions about such things as:

sky dining – no not sky diving, sky dining
the difference between shepherding and nursing
the unreasonable popularity of Fiji Water
saving Joni Mitchell’s childhood home
destroying William Shakespeare’s final home
Barbie vs Lilli
Anish Kapoor’s expensive sculpture vs Anish Kapoor’s expensive sculpture
Swiss Barbie
the real Sherlock Holmes?!
homing pigeons
and
arsenic girl.

The songs you hear were sent in by MJ Fouldes and Hannah Ventisei. Thanks so much to all of you who sent in lovely messages – and songs! – with your AMT-related emotions and memories. We could only include a tiny fraction of your affection in the episode, but know that we read/listened to everything. And maybe wept over it all a bit, too.

You’ll hear a few more of your AMT memories, plus bonus questions and answers about reheating McDonald’s cheeseburgers, the pleasantness of trans-Atlantic crossings 250 years ago, regretting the person you chose to bequeath your children to, life drawing classes, and ruined birthdays (we’re so sorry, Beth!), in today’s Bumper Bonus Bit of Crap on the App. As it’s a special occasion, you can listen to even if you don’t own the app, by downloading here or clicking on this player:

Thanks to our sponsors:
Manscaped, a full range of grooming products for your furry parts. Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code ANSWER at Manscaped.com.
Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ‘ANSWER’.

Admin time:
We won’t be taking emails or phonecalls, but this website will remain up for as long as we keep remembering to renew the domain! And episodes 201-400 will sit pretty on the free feed in the pod places. Plus all our other stuff will still be available at answermethisstore.com: episodes 1-200, our Best Of compilations from 2007-2015, and our six special albums – Home Entertainment, Love, Holiday, Sports Day, Jubilee and Christmas.

Stay subscribed, because you never know what the future holds…

Keep in touch!

Olly Mann is @ollymann on Twitter. His podcasts include The Retrospectors and The Modern Mann, and you can find all of his shows at ollymann.com.

 Helen Zaltzman is @helenzaltzman on Twitter and Instagram. Her podcasts include The Allusionist and Veronica Mars Investigations.

Martin The Sound Man Austwick is @martinaustwick on Twitter and Instagram. His podcasts include Song By Song, Neutrino Watch and Maddie’s Sound Explorers – and you can hear his songs via palebirdmusic.com.

Good grief! Can this really be it?? THANK YOU for sending questions and feedback, commuting/exercising/falling asleep with us, and letting us be your pod friends.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT400 Child-Friendly Rating: 68%. Low-bawd but several swears. Plus an ad for ball-shavers. •••

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Retro AMT200

July 22, 2021

For our very last retro AMT, we returned to a favourite from December 2011: AMT200, where we enlisted our families to answer your questions.

And here they are, in their 2011 forms!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Don’t forget to send us your questions for our final episode by the end of July 2021!

EPISODE 399: lashings of eggs

July 1, 2021

listen to the MP3 through your computerSubscribe to AMT! on iTunes Stream AMT! on Spotify RSS feed on Libsyn

It’s Answer Me This Episode 399 which means next episode will be Answer Me This Episode 400, so we not only want your QUESTIONS, we want you to send us your AMT memories. Did our answers to your questions helped or hurt your life? Did you made any friends through the podcast? Did you start your own podcast? What’s the weirdest place or oddest thing you were doing while listening to the show. Tell us all! Record yourself or write it down and deliver it to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Today we learn about:

ball pits
pickled onion pits
the quantum mechanical reading of The Famous Five
secret filming when cameras were still enormous
learning to knit
tuning a church bell
knobbing
being lost in SeaWorld
cheetahs’ pet dogs
and
lashings of ginger beer.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for Apple and Android – we check in on the latest in celebrity ballpits, courtesy of Cara Delevingne (check out the video below).

Hear our other work:

• Olly hosts several podcasts, and you can find them all at ollymann.com. Subscribe to his all new daily show The Retrospectors!
• Helen makes The Allusionist, an entertainment show about language, and Veronica Mars Investigations, recapping every episode of Veronica Mars from the beginning – now halfway through season 4 hurtling towards completion.
• Martin makes music – including a new EP – which you can hear palebirdmusic.com, on the Pale Bird podcast, and on Spotify etc. His brand new podcast Neutrino Watch is different every time you download it. You can also join him in contemplating the work of every song by Tom Waits Tom Waits in Song By Song, and he produced and composed the kids’ science podcast Maddie’s Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate.

Hang out with us online at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

This episode is sponsored by:
Wondrium, née the Great Courses Plus, a huge library of tutorials, documentaries, travel, how-to videos and much more! AMT listeners get a 14-day trial of unlimited access at wondrium.com/answer.
Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Buy AMT episodes 1-200, our six special albums including AMT Holiday for your summer staycation and Sports Day for these ballsporty times, and our Best Of compilations from 2007-2015 at answermethisstore.com.

One last time: send us your QUESTIONS, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com for us to answer in our final episode. And don’t forget to send us your AMT memories. Deadline for both is the end of July 2021.

We’ll be back with a retro AMT in your feed (except for if you listen on Google Podcasts for some unfathomable reason) on 22 July and then AMT400 lands on 5 August 2021. Hankies ready, for crying, waving, or cleaning up after yourself.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT399 Child-Friendly Rating: 73%. A handful of swears. Discussion of balls, Dicks, Fannies and bells, but NOT LIKE THAT! •••

Celebrity ball pit news:

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EPISODE 398: shitloads of Shreks

June 17, 2021

listen to the MP3 through your computerSubscribe to AMT! on iTunes Stream AMT! on Spotify RSS feed on Libsyn

We’re settling a lot of couples’ disputes in Answer Me This Episode 398. Who’s from the biggest village? Potato in tacos: Y/N? Did all animation used to be worse, or specifically just in Disney’s straight to video sequels? Prepare yourself for:

biggest village by area vs biggest village by population
ramen tacos vs gums
Return of Jafar
The Hunchback of Notre Dame part deux
The Lion King 1½
wedding rings
wedding shirts
wedding beards
the valuation of drugs
Ancient Romans 4 magnetism
cats in squares
and
edamame.

in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for Apple and Android – there’s a bit more about Disney+ and which films it may tactfully have hidden from view.

Hear our other work:

• Olly hosts several podcasts, and you can find them all at ollymann.com. Subscribe to his all new daily show The Retrospectors!
• Helen makes The Allusionist, an entertainment show about language, and Veronica Mars Investigations, recapping every episode of Veronica Mars from the beginning – now digging into season 4.
• Martin makes music – including a new EP – which you can hear palebirdmusic.com, on the Pale Bird podcast, and on Spotify etc. His brand new podcast Neutrino Watch is different every time you download it. You can also join him in contemplating the work of every song by Tom Waits Tom Waits in Song By Song, and he produced and composed the kids’ science podcast Maddie’s Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate.

Hang out with us online at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

This episode is sponsored by:
Manscaped, a full range of grooming products for your furry parts. Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code ANSWER at Manscaped.com
Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Buy AMT episodes 1-200, our six special albums including AMT Holiday for your summer staycation and Sports Day for these ballsporty times, and our Best Of compilations from 2007-2015 at answermethisstore.com.

Send us your QUESTIONS, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com for us to answer in future episodes.

We’ll be back with AMT399 on 1 July 2021.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT398 Child-Friendly Rating: 84%. Just a couple of swears. Oh and a ball-shaving ad. •••

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This month…

June 3, 2021

…for Tedious But Fine reasons, we’ve swapped June’s new episode and the retro one. So you’ll get an all-new AMT in a fortnight, but now there’s Retro AMT82 from 2009 and it’s a really fun one! Some things have changed – technology, the nature of entrepreneurship, people wearing Bluetooth earpieces everywhere – whereas others are eternal, like the pain of teen romance, and Americans finding British words funny. It’s low regret, plus, it contains Helen’s favourite ever call from a questioneer!

Like all our retro episodes, you have to subscribe to get it; so go off and listen now in your usual pod app. And we’ll be back in a fortnight with AMT398.

EPISODE 397: foot deodorant mayor

May 6, 2021

listen to the MP3 through your computerSubscribe to AMT! on iTunes Stream AMT! on Spotify RSS feed on Libsyn

Answer Me This Episode 397 is an unofficial animals special! We’ve got:

meerkats
dog mayors
goat mayors
crawfish presidential candidates
and
albatrosses around your neck

And also:

coffee berries
hot-but-not-boiling water
caffeine twitches
playing presidents
your friends mocking you for being a penny-pincher
and
Mary Shelley having sex on her mother’s grave.

And if one probably-useless coffee gadget wasn’t enough, you can get your fill of a second, in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for Apple and Android.

Hear our other work:

• Olly hosts several podcasts, and you can find them all at ollymann.com. Subscribe to his all new daily show The Retrospectors!
• Helen makes The Allusionist, an entertainment show about language, and Veronica Mars Investigations, recapping every episode of Veronica Mars from the beginning – now digging into season 4.
• Martin makes music – including a new EP – which you can hear palebirdmusic.com, on the Pale Bird podcast, and on Spotify etc. You can also join him in contemplating the work of every song by Tom Waits Tom Waits in Song By Song, and he produced and composed the kids’ science podcast Maddie’s Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate.

Hang out with us online at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

This episode is sponsored by:
The Great Courses Plus, the streaming library of courses on topics from piano-playing to yoga to ancient history to dog training. AMT listeners get a free fortnight at thegreatcoursesplus.com/answer.
Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Buy AMT episodes 1-200, our six special albums including AMT Holiday for your summer staycation, and our Best Of compilations from 2007-2015 at answermethisstore.com.

Send us your QUESTIONS, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com for us to answer in future episodes.

We’ll be back with AMT398 on 3 June 2021, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 20 May.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT397 Child-Friendly Rating: 58%. Some swears, and a question about illicit sex. On parental graves. •••

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EPISODE 396: acupuncture with malice

April 1, 2021

listen to the MP3 through your computerSubscribe to AMT! on iTunes Stream AMT! on Spotify RSS feed on Libsyn

Welcome to Answer Me This Episode 396! Nearly 400 episodes in and several thousand questions answered, and you’re still sending us ones we have never covered before. In today’s episode, “Do voodoo dolls work, and specifically, did mine work too well?” Plus:

Calvin Klein’s Obsession for lions
vegan black pudding
dijonnaise
snooping houseguests
The Addams Family
crabs eating crab babies
and
shouting ‘geronimo!’

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for Apple and Android – Olly divulges the other disproportionately-expensive-for-an-everyday-item import purchase he would make, in an ideal world. Until that time, he’ll console himself with a bashful of dijonnaise.

Hear our other work:

• Helen makes The Allusionist, an entertainment show about language, and Veronica Mars Investigations, recapping every episode of Veronica Mars from the beginning – now past the movie and heading straight onto the novels.
• Olly hosts many podcasts, and you can find them all at ollymann.com, including his monthly magazine show The Modern Mann and weekly under-the-radar-news show, The Week Unwrapped.
• Martin makes music – including a new EP – which you can hear palebirdmusic.com, on the Pale Bird podcast, and on Spotify etc. You can also join him in contemplating the work of every song by Tom Waits Tom Waits in Song By Song, and he produced and composed the kids’ science podcast Maddie’s Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate.

Hang out with us online at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

This episode is sponsored by:
The Great Courses Plus, the streaming library of courses on topics from piano-playing to yoga to ancient history to dog training. AMT listeners get a free fortnight at thegreatcoursesplus.com/answer.
Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Buy AMT episodes 1-200, our six special albums including the Valentines-appropriate AMT Love, and our Best Of compilations from 2007-2015 at answermethisstore.com.

Send us your QUESTIONS, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com for us to answer in future episodes.

We’ll be back with AMT397 on 6 may 2021, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 22 April.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT396 Child-Friendly Rating: 94%. Are we losing our touch?? •••

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EPISODE 395: Hollyboob

March 4, 2021

listen to the MP3 through your computerSubscribe to AMT! on iTunes Stream AMT! on Spotify RSS feed on Libsyn

Put your arm out, palms up, now touch your biceps, cradle the back of your head, hand on hip, other hand on other hip, pat each buttock and JUMP because yes, in Answer Me This Episode 395, we’re learning about the Macarena dance! As well as:

luxury car raffles at airports
pompoms on hats
Rita Ora’s millinery
sleeping in tents vs bears
the Hollywood sign
Viking statues with boners
fly-pasts at the Super Bowl
wearing sports merch for a team you don’t support
and
Michael Caine and a Thermos flask full of plague-carrying eggs.

After a harried questioneer raised the problem of dealing with the mediocrity of children in AMT394, in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for Apple and Android – listener Elly has some suggestions. And Olly has a more bold/less tactful suggestion.

Hear our other work:

• Helen makes The Allusionist, an entertainment show about language, and Veronica Mars Investigations, recapping every episode of Veronica Mars from the beginning – now powering to the end of season 3!
• Olly hosts many podcasts, and you can find them all at ollymann.com, including his monthly magazine show The Modern Mann and weekly under-the-radar-news show, The Week Unwrapped.
• Martin makes music – including a new EP – which you can hear palebirdmusic.com, on the Pale Bird podcast, and on Spotify etc. You can also join him in contemplating the work of every song by Tom Waits Tom Waits in Song By Song, and he produced and composed the kids’ science podcast Maddie’s Sound Explorers, hosted by Maddie Moate.

Hang out with us online at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

This episode is sponsored by:
The Great Courses Plus, the streaming library of courses on topics from piano-playing to yoga to ancient history to dog training. AMT listeners get a free fortnight at thegreatcoursesplus.com/answer.
Squarespace. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Buy AMT episodes 1-200, our six special albums including the Valentines-appropriate AMT Love, and our Best Of compilations from 2007-2015 at answermethisstore.com.

Send us your QUESTIONS, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com for us to answer in future episodes.

We’ll be back with AMT396 on 1 April 2021, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 18 March.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT395 Child-Friendly Rating: 91%. No grot! Are there swears? Can’t remember! Not any memorable swears, anyway! •••

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