More weddings, more problems. Firstly for Ricki from Hamilton, Canada:
I’m getting married next year to my lovely boyfriend. We got engaged on holiday a few months ago and are both happily looking forward to getting married.
When I let certain people in my social group know that we were engaged, they expressed extreme shock that he hadn’t asked my parents for permission before proposing. When I told them I intended to walk myself down the aisle (I’ve got legs and I’m not chattel!) and it won’t be in a church, they were extremely judgmental. They also seem to think that, in spite of all of my other actual accomplishments (IE university degree, handicraft ability and cat-rearing skills), getting married will be the MOST IMPORTANT THING I EVER DO. Now, whenever they bring it up – which is frequently – they ask if I’ve considered getting married ‘the right way’ since our engagement wasn’t done ‘properly’.
Answer me this – how do I politely ask them to back up the crazy-train and let us enjoy our wedding the way we want it to be?
Politely? Fuck that: you need to dump all these rude friends! And/or elope immediately, because otherwise you’ve got months of this bollo to endure.
If you absolutely have no choice but to invite them to the wedding as planned, amp up the convention-defying to the max. Say your vows at an abandoned theme park, attended by tiger bridesmaids, wearing a welding mask as a veil. It is ‘the right way’.
Eurgh, why do people become such dicks about someone else’s wedding? At least Oli from Egham‘s dad is making a fuss about his own wedding:
My dad was due to get married in February, but has been pushing the date back ever since. I’m a full time travelling street musician and I’ve been putting off a long-awaited trip to south east Asia for months now, waiting for the wedding, which is now set, finally, for the 11th of July.
The nature of my work means its much harder to support myself in England; street performers do far better in the tourist areas of mainland Europe. I’ve saved enough money for my Asia trip, and now I’m just trying to keep my head above water, but my funds are dwindling.
My dad informed me today that he wants me to buy a new suit foir his wedding, even though I have a perfectly good one from when I used to work as an estate agent. My dad knows that the lifestyle I’ve chosen means a cetain amount of frugality, and although I can sometimes do very well, a suit would probably be the same price as my flights (with concessions).
So answer me this: is it unreasonable for my dad to ask me to spend this money on a suit, when I already have one? He’s very accepting of my lifestyle, even though I know it’s probably not what he wanted for me.
Also, he voted UKIP, so I’m mad at him for that.
That is hard to swallow, Oli, but as you’ve said he’s been accepting of your lifestyle, so I suppose you have to extend him the same courtesy.
Go suit-browsing. Tell your dad you’ve found a good one, but you can’t afford it, and perhaps he’ll splash out for you. If not, for the charity shop. I would have said it’s fine to wear your old suit, until you mentioned it’s an estate agent suit. Few people want to be reminded of estate agents on what is supposed to be the happiest day of their lives.
What are the smells that trigger certain feelings or memories for you? Does the scent of a rose transport you back to eating Turkish Delight with your gran? Do exhaust fumes remind you of that trip to Rome where you lost your wallet but gained some minor STDs? Does cider bring back all too vividly that time you puked into your dad’s slippers?
Whatever the flavour of your nasal nostalgia, take a big sniff and listen to Answer Me This! Episode 245:
Today we speak of:
Annie Lennox
bouquet tossing uniformdating.com
the grapevine
the cheesy moon
the Earl of Grantham’s house before he moved into Downton Abbey Arrested Development vs. Arrested Development Phenom
sexy dill
wedding suits
Marvin Gaye: phone engineer
DVD/Blu-ray ordering
and
the lies of David Sneddon.
Also: Olly’s not a bad driver, it’s just his cursed jumper; Helen is abusing her magnificent brain, by filling it with shitcoms then hitting it with beer bottles; and Martin the Sound Man’s impression of Gregg Wallace is uncannilly shitty.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) is a question from Ellen in North Carolina about the Tim Tam Explosion. If you’re not sure what that is, imagine the Australian version of the Soggy Biscuit Game.
On the subject of sweet things, see the proof of Thorntons icing HERE. But this innocentish fun has a dark side, and we don’t just mean 70% cocoa solids dark. As you’ll find out in the episode, Thorntons are striking back! Ulp…
Assuming Thorntons haven’t shut us down by next week, send us your QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.
It’s odd that in his ode ‘To Autumn‘, Keats never mentioned amongst the swelling gourds and clammy cells that it is also the time of year where the images of schoolchildren are harvested for posterity in the annual school photos. See above, then while your eyes recover, hear Answer Me This! Episode 230:
In which we speak of:
sharing a bedroom
Dorian Gray Liz Jones
the Meg Ryan Game
glamping Olly’s friend Chay in a Britney video
sleeping arrangements
dehumidifiers
the Titanic Memorial Cruise
grey water vs. black water
big baggy clothes vs. Joseph Gordon-Levitt Aaron Paul vs. Aaron Paul
court artists
Ocean Colour Scene
and
relationship advice via Neil LaBute.
Plus: Olly has had enough of these mother-fighting snakesDaily Mails on this monkey-liking plane; Helen’s Kentish childhood was nothing like the latest Wand Erection video (see below); and Martin the Sound Man did not do a William Hague, honest.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (get it for iDevices and Android) involves further discussion of cruises, namely why haven’t hipsters taken them up yet. Surely it’s only a matter of time, though – after all, nobody ever thought bowler hats or the A10 would ever make a comeback, and look at them both now.
As we said in the show, do share your most memorable birthday in the comments; and as always, share your QUESTIONS by leaving voicemails on the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or sending emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also go here if you want your own Answer Me This! mug. It’s so big, you could probably go for a week-long cruise in it.
This week we, like you and every other breathing humanoid on this planet and the next, are transfixed by Wills’n’Kate’s working holiday in Canada. WHOSE HAND WILL THEY SHAKE NEXT? The suspense! Yet somehow we have torn ourselves away from the 24-hour royalwatch Jumbotron long enough to bring you Answer Me This! Episode 182:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
On our tour of topics, we respectfully nod at the following:
literal popcorn entertainment
Latin puns
orgiastic decor
the Leaning Tower of Pisa vs. the Windsor Crooked House
Jaws vs. Jurassic Park
Frank Gehry
top-down social change
moviedeaths.com
careless fingering
pocket fraud
and
Wetherspoons trainer snobs.
Plus: Olly doesn’t care what he looks like from behind, so hairdressers, let your imaginations run riot; Helen feels the full benefit of Olly’s wonderful manners; and Martin the Sound Man tells you how to customise your underpants for free. This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone or Android) is a treatise on why James Cameron’s forthcoming Titanic 3D must be stopped, and not just because nobody needs to see “I’m the king of the wooooooorld!” any more vividly realised.
We’re keen to collect as many QUESTIONS as Queen Middleton has bouquets from Canadian children – and to present them to us, you don’t even need to line the streets waving! You merely need to leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. But by all means imagine us clutching the questions affectionately to our bosoms, asking you a polite question about your charitable works, then moving on to the next prole.
It’s all very unsettling, this regime change and Conservacrat coalitions and so on; so let’s stick with things that are comforting and familiar. Corduroy, say, or those sweetie prawns you only get as part of pick’n’mix, or the face of Richard Madeley. All that and more things which aren’t the sour tang of political discomfort in Answer Me This! Episode 135:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Within we speak of:
the Dyson fan
gummy bears
onion cocaine
irresponsible science teachers
concentrated pigments
Mike Patton’s travel wash
Common’s dry hands
Daphne and Celeste
survival vs. the Red Hot Chili Peppers
FishMac
Heinz
the Whigs
Gideon Sundback
the mischief of tailors
Katie Melua
and
Hot Pittites.
Plus: Olly hates jelly babies despite their brilliant capacity for mischief; Helen finds an unlikely way for widowers to assuage their grief; and Martin the Sound Man violates Olly at the Sony Awards. Cheeky chappie. You can see and hear him being much better behaved on this educational video and the Bright Club podcast.
Since this is an interactive podcast, please interact with us by asking your QUESTIONS: do that with your voices, by leaving a message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype IDanswermethis; or do that with your words by emailing them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
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