Posts Tagged ‘food’

Battle baked goods: Jews vs. France

August 12, 2010

** Click here for Episode 144 **

No All-Bran or Nutrigrain bars for Haggered Wood, who asks:

Bagels Or Croissants for breakfast?

Pros and cons for each, as toast has lost its shine for me.

I grieve for you, Haggered Wood; for he who is tired of toast is tired of life (as well as toast). Here be my pros and cons:

Bagel pros: will keep hunger at bay for longer. Lends itself to myriad fillings. Might have seeds on it.
Bagel cons: bit too much of a challenge early-morning if you have to assemble it yourself. Can make you feel like you’ve swallowed a stone fist.

Croissant pros: cheerfully frou-frou and indulgent-seeming. Ready to go in one tidy package. Is better for dunking into coffee than a bagel.
Croissant cons: most of the ones in this country are horrific. Nutritionally horrific. Will cover you in flakes of pastry.

Readers, head to the comments and tell us which is the winner. I vote for crumpets.

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EPISODE 144 – closer to a potato choc-ice

August 5, 2010

Dear friends,

If, like Olly, you are delightfully innocent and pure-minded, listen with care to Answer Me This! Episode 144; for, like him, you will probably be SHOCKED TO THE VERY CORE to understand what the heck that mucky broad Britney Spears was on about in her ‘If You Seek Amy’ ditty. We don’t know which was more shocking: the blatant sauce of the double meaning, or the topsy-turvy grammar of the single meaning.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Delicious Miss Dahl’s dirty martinis
skate’s dirty parts
Sea Pebbles
citric acid
‘Scotland the Brave’ vs. ‘Greensleeves’
the MTV Cribs diet
carbonated champagne
matzo meal
Clamato
kosher fish
those child-hating bastards Cybercandy
strawberries
the spoon trick
Hatch End
fizzy cola bottle inequity
and
modern marginalia.

Plus: Olly compares his pioneeringderanged snacking habits to Heston Blumenthal; Helen ruins Olly’s favourite delicacy, tipple, and high school sing-song tv series; and Martin the Sound Man does a rap, gives insight into the dairy consumption of tramps, and otherwise disgraces himself.

We also peer beneath the frilly underskirts of Great British Questions Episode 3: Romance, exposing some mild disappointment in the world’s biggest coloured pencil, and wondering whether the Cerne Abbas giant has been slacking on his fatherly duties thus far. Meanwhile, over on the fair shores of the AMT app, we speak of marginal things we like. Nothing pervy, unless you are aroused by the shoes of elderly Jews.

Now it’s time to give us your QUESTIONS; please bestow them upon is in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. How thrilled we shall be to receive them!

See you next Thursday for Episode 145, and on the preceding Tuesday for Episode Four of Great British Questions, in which we glug down sufficient tea to rehydrate the Kalahari.

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 143 – four Michael Keatons

July 29, 2010

Hello listeners,

Thanks for sticking with us, considering that, as one of you has pointed out, Vanity Fair is encroaching on our turf. As is National Rail Enquiries! You can ask their question-bot anything, but she is far too judgemental in her responses. So we’re continuing regular service for now (unlike the East Coast Main Line, ber-boom), with Answer Me This! Episode 143:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Today we speak of:

casual voyeurism
John Mayer vs. Stevie Ray Vaughan
AMT party vs. Elton John
spermaceti
moisturisers for men
English Heritage
John P. Charlton
Mr T in pieces
aloe vera
saucy postcards
Camille Pissarro
whaling
fake blue plaques
Boris Karloff’s bedroom
and
Buddhists’ favourite film (NB it’s not Multiplicity).

Plus: Olly reluctantly glows; Helen’s bitesize history revision is for far too big a mouth; and Harry Potter almost prevented Martin the Sound Man from achieving his doctorate. You think Voldemort’s a bastard? You do not want to get in the way of Martin with four years’ hard quantum physics in his hands. Thwarted on the very brink of escape, the man’s wrath could melt trees.

We also reminisce about the public humiliation which attended almost every step of Great British Questions Episode Two: Film, which you can see HERE. Meanwhile, over on the app, this week’s bonus noise concerns how we’d use our spare time if trapped in a Groundhog Day-style situation (clue: heroin, and serial killing).

Videos and apps notwithstanding, we still want your QUESTIONS. So please sate us with a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday for Episode 144, and on the preceding Tuesday for Episode Three of Great British Questions, in which we get all romantical. It’s ACTING, alright? Bleugh! The very idea.

Love, but only in a formal and platonic way,

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 140 – ratemyparents.com

June 17, 2010

Here it is folks, the final Answer Me This! of the second quarter – Episode 140:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

As we clear out our desks for the break, we give the following topics an airing:

Wills’n’Harry
eggnog
Anjou
the new Mentos + Coke
Duncan Goodhew vs. Dizzy Gillespie
Leonard Cohen vs. Magnetic Fields
Siberian husky dogs vs. Paula Radcliffe
wedding pyromania
hotel breakfast buffets
goat dowry
Freecycle surprise party
revolving restaurants
and
Narnia in Canada.

Plus: it turns out Olly can multitask after all, but only in hotel bathrooms; Helen manages to make prunes even more boring than you already thought they were; and Martin the Sound Man gives a line reading of The Human Centipede, which is as close as we ever want to get to actually seeing that film.

We hereby bid you adieu for a month, but we’ll be popping back here every week to post up some choice words – and to display the results of the Berocca Challenge that we set you this episode, should any of you choose to rise to it! You can also keep in touch with us via Twitter and Facebook, but more importantly by sending us your QUESTIONS – call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Parting is such sweet sorrow. We’ll be back on 15th July. Have a smashing month!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 139 – nothing about a stork makes me horny. Nothing!

June 10, 2010

Cover your kiddies’ ears during Answer Me This! Episode 139. Not just because of the usual effing and blinding (although that can’t be wholesome for them, surely?), but because this week, we talk about [whisper] Where Babies Come From [/whisper]. Shudder!


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Aside from the role of birds in the human reproductive process, we speak of:

Sauron’s bird feeders
Billy Kennedy’s fluffy dice
posset
turkey farming
‘shimmering apricot mould’
bloodworm
Kia-Ora
the Virgin Mary vs. pelicans
Ted Heath vs. Hugh Grant
chum salmon vs. chambermates
Chambourcy Hippopotamousse
and
the correct classification of pasta salad.

Plus: Olly turns his fishbowl into a scene from Cannibal Holocaust; Helen busts out another member of her Nauseating Cookery Book collection; and Martin the Sound Man seems to know more than the average sound man about clinical trials, although he was born and raised in a petri dish in a GlaxoSmithKline laboratory…

Now don’t get upset, but after next week’s episode, we’ll be taking a month off to rest our voices. So get your QUESTIONS in, quick! Call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. See you next Thursday, and we’ll make that precious time together count, ok?

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 138 – do as Megan Fox does

June 3, 2010

We see a dark blot on the horizon. A dark, sports-shaped blot. Wimbledon AND the World Cup football in the next month? It’s too much for our sensibilities. We can’t stop it; we can’t pretend to like it; but we can prepare ourselves, so we try to limber up with a bit of tangentially sportif chitterchatter in Answer Me This! Episode 138:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Don’t worry, the majority of the content is non-sportular, including:

Project Runway
Jacques Chirac G8 Fail
Hobbycraft
Wenlock and Mandeville vs. Banksy and David Shrigley
Ped Egg vs. fungal nail infection in the Battle of the Turned Stomachs
Yoshiaki Shiraishi
massage
sitting shivah
the obscure early life of Jools Holland
NASA entry requirements
and
bacon bras.

Plus: Olly finds the present day to be lagging behind in meeting targets set in The Terminator; Helen reveals the secret that made Neil Armstrong the first man on the moon; and Martin the Sound Man is quite quiet and well-behaved because he’s really thinking about getting back to playing Red Dead Redemption. A podcast cannot come between the man and his PS3. Harrumph.

We’re looking to you to keep our spirits up in these tryingly footbally times, so please send us QUESTIONS with which to distract ourselves, in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Ta for that.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 136 – fox piss liquitab

May 20, 2010

Hello there listeners,

For reasons outlined therein, we’re yawning and stretching during Answer Me This! Episode 136; but we sincerely hope you don’t:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

On today’s call sheet are topics including:

iron ore
Hereford Cathedral’s record-breaking library
abseiling
Jo Whiley’s washing tips
fishy Ashton Kutcher
chopsticks vs. cutlery
stripey horses vs. horned horses
communion wafers vs. transubstantiated flesh
Mel Gibson vs. Bob Dylan’s Planet Waves
pox vs. coma
weather houses
whitebait
Martika
grey hair
and
blue movies.

Furthermore: Olly only publicly relieves himself the classiest way; Helen shuns bridesmaids; and Martin the Sound Man is a silver fox, although hopefully not the same one that pissed in Olly’s trainers, or fisticuffs will ensue.

We also contemplate what makes us feel aged; proceed to the comments on this post to share your own. Although if you are only half our age, don’t. You are mere saplings, so enjoy that while we wheeze and wobble along the path of physical and mental decline.

Old or young, you are all very welcome to send us a QUESTION, so please do that by leaving a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or by sending an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 135 – peace babies

May 13, 2010

Hello little chums,

It’s all very unsettling, this regime change and Conservacrat coalitions and so on; so let’s stick with things that are comforting and familiar. Corduroy, say, or those sweetie prawns you only get as part of pick’n’mix, or the face of Richard Madeley. All that and more things which aren’t the sour tang of political discomfort in Answer Me This! Episode 135:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Within we speak of:

the Dyson fan
gummy bears
onion cocaine
irresponsible science teachers
concentrated pigments
Mike Patton’s travel wash
Common’s dry hands
Daphne and Celeste
survival vs. the Red Hot Chili Peppers
FishMac
Heinz
the Whigs
Gideon Sundback
the mischief of tailors
Katie Melua
and
Hot Pittites.

Plus: Olly hates jelly babies despite their brilliant capacity for mischief; Helen finds an unlikely way for widowers to assuage their grief; and Martin the Sound Man violates Olly at the Sony Awards. Cheeky chappie. You can see and hear him being much better behaved on this educational video and the Bright Club podcast.

Since this is an interactive podcast, please interact with us by asking your QUESTIONS: do that with your voices, by leaving a message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or do that with your words by emailing them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 134 – it’s quite difficult to peel a dinosaur

May 6, 2010

Dear Listeners,

This week we caught not one but two Maypole dances! After the sight of a team of hail-lashed eight-year-olds cavorting around a giant phallic symbol, then a second helping of the same, anything’s going to seem anticlimactic. Except, perhaps, for Answer Me This! Episode 134:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Wherein we speak of:

Peppy the polar bear
Mint Imperials
ostrich meat
Claude Garamond
Roald Dahl
Microsoft whimsy
the Empire State Building
Australian superlatives
British teen pregnancy rates WIN
the Burj Al Arab
phone cake
Stanley Morison
the Mr Bean Diary
and
Kidderminster.

Plus: Olly emphasises the importance of proper hydration during hot hungover Hellenic hikes; Helen recalls her days as the Nadia Comaneci of Tunbridge Wells; and Martin the Sound Man poaches an old Pappy’s Fun Club joke, With Hilarious Results. Or similar. We also implore you to help out Ian from Florida with his dating profile; click here to see it and comment politely thereupon.

Apologies to any of you who couldn’t get through to our Question Line last week; it’s up and running as normal now, so don’t hesitate to leave your QUESTIONS on it by dialling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or, of course, emailing them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, in the classical style.

If you enjoy staying up all night listening to the radio, tonight you can hear us assisting Iain Dale on LBC from midnight-6am as the election results roll in; tune in on 97.3FM, Sky Channel 0124 or online via lbc.co.uk.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 133 – a horse doesn’t have a glovebox

April 29, 2010

ELECTION ELECTION WINEHOUSE’SBROKENBOOBS ELECTION ELECTION ELECTION KATONA. That’s all we’re hearing about this week, and frankly it’s wearing us down. Listeners, perhaps you feel the same; or perhaps you don’t live in Britain and therefore didn’t even know there was an election on. And now that you do, you couldn’t give a tortoise’s bra about it. But hopefully we can all agree to settle down and listen to Answer Me This! Episode 133, before returning to deface Tory pamphlets/whatever the hell you non-Brit-residents were up to:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week we speak of:

Tory tax breaks
Smith Kendon travel sweets
Kenneth Tynan
Scotney Castle
Birmingham Selfridges
Tate Modern
satnav wipes
sphygmomanometers
sexting vs. proper infidelity
Facebook vs. Friends Reunited
syntax vs. inflections
souvenir pencils
the Paris Expo
James
Citizen Kane
Sarah Kane
Hamlet II
In the Night Garden
and
Ozwald Boateng.

Plus: Olly yearns for the rural life, tilling the soil and raising livestock; Helen is shocked by the potty-mouth affecting Woman’s Hour; and Martin the Sound Man seems to know more about blood pressure than the average district nurse. And some news that might be more exciting to us than to you, and more exciting to our mums than anyone else.

You know what’s definitely exciting all round, though? Your QUESTIONS! So give us a thrill by sending them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. Our timbers are shivering in anticipation.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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Olly models Helen's fake engagement ring

Mustard Creams

April 29, 2010

** Click here for Episode 132 **

Here’s a half-pound of foodular fun from Patrick:

I initially dismissed Wasabi Pringles as being an odd flavouring for a crisp, but after trying them, POW! I’m hooked. Wasabi flavouring and MSG seem to have a strangely euphoric effect on me, especially during times of stress…

So, Answer Me This… What strange flavourings or food combination have won you round?

Readers, since we at Answer Me This! have discussed the peculiarities of our palates enough – as evidenced by the fact that wasabi-flavoured Pringles seem like nothing but a sensible combo to us – it is time for you to share your own favourite wrong-snacks instead. Chutney-flavoured Mars Bars? Tea-flavoured Hula Hoops? Twig-flavoured Twiglets? Pray tell all in the comments!

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EPISODE 132 – scientifically proven by science

April 22, 2010

Rejoice, listeners, for in Answer Me This! Episode 132, your prayers have at last been answered! Well, some of the prayers of some of you, specifically those asking if we could get Andy Zaltzman onto the show. Any other prayers will continue to be in vain, unless we’re backing the wrong horse atheism-wise.

Anyway. It took a lot of form-filling, tear-drenched phone-calls to his agent, and complaining to Mum; but here Andy is:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Inevitably, whenever and wherever Andy speaks, he speaks of sport. But we also manage to shoehorn in:

Wine Gums
Gordon Brown
Denise Van Outen
cricket vs. blogging
Andy vs. Liverpool
curry vs. Martin the Sound Man
surveyors vs. honesty
football hooligans vs. Johannesburg
Beth Ditto
Kim Jong-Il
the Sistine Chapel
pebbledash
and
the real problem with George W Bush.

Plus: Olly decries the cuisine of Spain; Helen tells you how best to decide your vote in the forthcoming election; Martin the Sound Man lines up a new band name for when in-fighting rends The Sound of the Ladies apart; and Andy comes up with an all-too-literal means of how to ask for a lady’s hand in marriage. His wife’s knitting career was brought to an abrupt end when he plighted his troth.

If you want a bit more of Andy in your life, then you can: go to see him do stand-up; listen to his podcast The Bugle, co-starring John Oliver; read his cricket blog; and buy his book. Or you could try marrying in to the Zaltzman family, but almost all vacancies have been filled.

The AMT service returns to normal next week, so please send in your QUESTIONS for the usual treatment – email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. No sport, we beg of you. This episode contained more than the entirety of the rest of our lives combined.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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