Answer Me This! Podcast

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Remember Joe from Seattle from AMT244, who wrote to us asking if he was being spurned by a girl after their first date? (Turned out he was.) It appears he has a recurring problem, for we recently received the following email:

It’s Joe in Seattle, trying to get a second date again.

Answer me this: should I be reading something into this?

Possibly. For a more definitive prognosis, maybe wait a week then text her again, saying that you’re going to a particular gig soon and would she like to join you? Casual. No pressure. If she still acts like she’s so busy she can’t even punctuate her texts properly, and doesn’t suggest an alternative meeting, then you probably should return to prowling the open mic circuit for new prey.

Let’s examine some alternative hypotheses:
1. You texted too soon. She found it a bit much.
2. She is a woman who does not care for smileys.
3. It was just a one-night stand for her.
4. That one night ran the whole relationship gamut for her. It was perfect as it is. She doesn’t want to dilute it with follow-ups. This is why in Before Sunrise they made that stupid arrangement not to write or call after their night together. (Yes, maybe in nine years she and Joe will bump into each other in Seattle and hit it off again. (And have another sequel nine years after that.))

However, maybe there’s something amiss with your dating technique. Comb My Very Worst Date to make sure you’re not on there.

Readers, if you can add more insight, please do so in the comments. Joe needs you. He can’t be a one-date-wonder forever.

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We won’t be wishing birthday boy Declan many happy returns after the day he had:

It was my birthday on Monday and it was dreadful. I had to do a statistics exam in the morning, which was bad enough; but then I had to catch the bus to get home. The bus was crowded and a few people were standing. One man, who had two seats to himself, suddenly stood up and rushed off the bus. I thought this was strange but I thought nothing more of it.

Answer me this: what are your worst birthday experiences? Mine is definitely sitting in another man’s urine.

Luckily I can’t equal or top that; but readers, can you? Go to the comments and make Declan feel less alone in his puddle of piss.

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I’m such a fool. All this time I’ve been resigning burnt food to the compost heap, thus missing out on a potential eBay goldmine! Dan from Telford writes:

I recently found this item on eBay.

It’s definitely the strangest thing I’ve ever seen on eBay but please answer me this, what’s the most bizarre thing you’ve ever seen on an online auction site??

Readers, over to you. Go to the comments and tell us about your most ludicrous ‘online auction site’ findings – or even purchases. At least one of you must have bid and won on an omelette that looks like the Virgin Mary.

Incidentally, at time of writing, the ETortilla has attracted zero bids. Also the same seller is touting a CD by ‘guitarist extraordinaire’ Turbo for bids over $10,000. Maybe they don’t have a very good grasp of the use of decimal points.

OH MY GOD THE LIKENESS IS UNCANNY

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I bet many of you readers have made the same well-intentioned faux pas as Jim in Barcelona:

As I travelled home by metro this evening in the beautiful city of Barcelona I had what I hope is the last awkward experience on this mode of transport.

So, answer me this: other than the protruding belly, are there there any other outward signs of pregnancy that will help me avoid these situations in the future? Is there a swollen gland or other body part that is a giveaway that the woman has had an encounter with a live rather than cooked sausage?

‘Swollen gland’? Well, they have a mucus plug in their cervix, but checking that is going to create more problems than it solves. Similarly, pregnant women’s boobs are usually bigger, but studying their boobs for signs of distension is unlikely lessen the awkwardness of this interaction. Perhaps Jim could look out for the swollen ankles – even if not pregnant, somebody with swollen ankles probably needs to sit down.

Readers, if you know any other external signs Jim should look out for, tell him in the comments. Otherwise he’s going to have to start carrying his own ultrasound scanner on public transport.

PS Well done to Transport for London for their ‘Baby on Board’ badges. Sure, there’s something a bit mawkish about them, but they sure do save on awkwardness. Perhaps Jim could lobby Transports Metropolitans de Barcelona to introduce the same.

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