Posts Tagged ‘juice’

buffet juice glasses: size matters

September 29, 2014



Study the above picture. Summon all your outrage – you want to SMASH those goddamn glasses, don’t you? SMASH ALL OF THEM! THEY DESERVE IT!!!

Oh, er, why? Because they are a RIDDLE and an OUTRAGE spotted by Simon, in the wake of the tiny juice glasses at a breakfast buffet SCANDAL discussed in AMT297:

I was at a buffet breakfast at the Hilton Hotel in Melbourne and was pretty impressed to see large juice glasses available. I immediately thought of the recent episode where much scorn was heaped on those pissant little glasses normally found.

As you would expect I went straight for the big boys, only to find that the fucking things don’t fit under the juice decanters properly so you can only three-quarter fill them on a weird angle. This also makes it a two-handed job so you have to put your plate down.

Answer me this, is the hospitality industry deliberately fucking with us for their own amusement?

Yes, Simon, they absolutely are. There’s not that much entertainment in stripping soiled beds or dealing with whinging guests, so frankly they have to take it where they can get it.


EPISODE 297 – buffet psychology

September 4, 2014

Hello listeners!

Got any great tips for gaming a hotel breakfast buffet? Do share in the comments; but first, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 297 to learn from the master (ie Olly Mann):

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

In today’s buffet of audio delights, we’re serving:

Sea Monkey refills
second hand wedding dresses
green peppers vs red peppers
Bob Dylan vs grapefruit juice
Steve Wright in the Afternoon vs heroin
Harold Von Braunhut
the Pizza Hut salad bar
Oxford divorces
spying on your children
gobbing in the pot.

Plus: if you see Olly roving towards you armed with a Tupperware tub, he’s either going to take advantage of your buffet or imprison you with fatal consequence; Helen will be survived by a sackful of raw gingerbread; and Martin the Sound Man is a masochist for grapefruit juice.

In today’s Bit of Crap on the App, we tackle another Great British Bake Off question from Katherine from Sheffield. To find out how we go from that to the Sword of Gondor in just four short minutes, fire up the app on your iDevices, Android or Windows playthings. As a happy by-product of buying the app, you’re funding the show – likewise if you splash out on any of our albums or vintage episodes at So you know that along with your purchase you’ll receive a free dose of our eternal gratitude.

We are also eternally grateful to receive your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or email And be our imaginary friend at and

And because we’re simply brimful of gratitude today, let’s throw a bucketful over, for sponsoring this episode, for allowing people to build and host websites easily and beautifully, and for offering you 10% off their services for a whole year if you use the code Answer.

By the way, if you’re keen to start your own podcast, book a ticket for this Guardian Masterclass and on 20th September, Helen and a host of other podcasting mavens will teach you all you need to know, and then some.

We will return with AMT298 on 18th September, and we hope you do too. Cheerio!

Helen & Olly

••• AMT297 Child-Friendly Rating: 88%. Light on profane language. Unfortunate TMI about Olly and Martin’s bodily fluids. Question from a parent running surveillance ops on their teenager, which may instill trust issues in your own offspring. •••



February 13, 2013



Another question of romance for Valentine’s week from Dan from New Zealand

I have a massive crush on a guy who works at my local juice bar.

I’m pretty sure he is single and I know he is gay.

The only conversation we have had outside of ordering was about the linguistics paper we had done together last year and whether we were doing any others. We hadn’t spoken during the paper.

How do I maybe get it to the point where I could ask him out and stop spending $6.90 a day on juice?

Readers, go to the comments and help Dan out, before he is bankrupted by juice. Although maybe he is hankering after this guy in the hope that, if his affections are returned, he’ll get free juice?

Anyway, I think Dan should just be direct and ask him out – if straightforwardness is a problem, perhaps he could spell out ‘Will you go out with me?’ in fruit – because if his approach is rejected, he no longer needs to keep spending the $6.90 a day on juice either.