Posts Tagged ‘penises’
December 16, 2011
What an eventful year 2011 has been. Earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear terror! Sit-ins, protests, riots! So many revolutions, we can’t even choose a favourite! Charlie Sheen being a messed-up addict – but funny, so it’s fine! Osama Bin Laden’s dramatic exit! Pippa Middleton’s bottom!
Plenty has happened here at Answer Me This! too, so take a jaunt with us into the vale of the recent past: here is The Best of AMT2011, part 1.
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
What a lot we learnt this year! About such things as:
space tourism
coloured bathroom suites
William’n’Dorothy Wordsworth
celebrity cock-shots
ornamental jellyfish
The Apprentice
Dodgy
‘Like a G6’
Dane Bowers’n’Jordan’s sex tape
John Travolta’s face vs. Nicolas Cage’s face
glass slippers
impulse bags
fake tan
undone flies
Saturday Toilet
Olly’s lost night of Chico
doll hospital
phallic salad
phallic statues
phallic celebrity waxworks
phallic phalluses
and
Adult Milkybar.
There’s plenty more to come next week; but if you want plenty more AMT next year, then send us your QUESTIONS: deliver emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com and leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis).
We have to say a huge thanks to everybody who has sent us something to celebrate our impending 5th birthday – we’ve already received many glorious cards, some rather exciting little presents, and enough sugary treats to push us over to the wrong side the Type 2 Diabetes fence! If you want to propel us into hyperglycaemic hyperdrive, or you want to show off your best penmanship, please dispatch a missive to:
Answer Me This!
PO Box 53587
London
SE19 9BQ
Thankyou for delighting us by post, listeners. You really are a tiptop bunch.
See you next Thursday, for the Best of AMT2011 part 2!
Helen & Olly
Tags:007, 127 Hours, adolescence, Alan Sugar, alcohol, amputation, Amstrad, Anthony Weiner, art, bathrooms, betrothal, Black Swan, body horror, booze, bridesmaids, Britney Spears, Build a Bear, cake, chewing gum, Chico, chocolate, Cinderella, clothes, confectionery, cookery, coriander, Dane Bowers, decor, Disney, Dorothy Wordsworth, drunk-dialling, drunkenness, dusky pink, engagement, Face/Off, fairground, fairy tales, fake tan, Far East Movement, fashion, fiction, fish, flies, food, funfair, G4, G6, genitalia, genitals, glass slipper, Greggs, Greggs the Baker, gym, gynaecologist, hygiene, incest, innuendo, James Bond, James Martin, John Travolta, John Woo, Jon Bon Jovi, Jordan, Kate Middleton, King's Speech, Leonardo DiCaprio, literature, love, Madame Tussauds, malapropisms, Milkybar, monarchy, Nelly, Nicolas Cage, olives, Oscars, pants down, penises, Percy Pigs, Pippa Middleton, poetry, poets, Prince Philip, Queen Middleton, reality tv, romance, royal wedding, royals, Sarah Beeny, Saturday Kitchen, sex tape, shopping, siblings, slang, Snog Marry Avoid, snooker, Stanley Kubrick, Stannah stairlift, statues, stench, stripper shoes, supermarket, t-shirts, taste, telly, the apprentice, the King, the Queen, True Grit, tuna melt, Ugg boots, vagina, William Wordsworth
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June 2, 2011
Hello pals,
What would you do if you had the run of the Houses of Parliament? Rifle through all the documents with TOP SECRET stamped on them? Leave a drawing pin on the Speaker’s chair? Try on all of Theresa May’s shoes? Or use their wifi to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 177?
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In this episode we contemplate that matter, and others:
Shutter Island
anti-gravity
Dodgy
art vs. law
parliamentary privilege vs. podcasting privilege
the BBFC vs. the Mull of Kintyre test
accredited space agents
conspiracy theorists
school play smoking
reprobate Mel Smith
Princess Michael
‘Governor’ Palin
‘Cape Canaveral’
and
squid rings.
Plus: Olly would have got more action at university had it not been for his inner gameshow; Helen gives a lesson on basic squid anatomy; and Martin the Sound Man swears that with bog-standard telescopes, you could read a copy of yesterday’s Evening Standard that someone had left on Uranus as clearly as gawking at it over the shoulder of your fellow commuter. This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone or Android) sees Olly point the finger at the real villains of the 21st century: anyone who puts one of these in their mouth. You monsters!
You have until June 5th to snap up free audiobooks and half-price Audible membership at answermethispodcast.com/audible, but you have all the time you need to ask us QUESTIONS, in the form of voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Although don’t take too long over it, because we’ve got to be back here next week with a new episode, and without your questions in it, it’d be like we’d turned time back to Web 1.0. Which is just too awful to contemplate.
Byeeee!
Helen & Olly
Tags:1990s, 90s, acting, actors, bad taste, balls, Barbara Bush, BBFC, bowels, Cape Canaveral, cigarettes, cock-blocking, colons, confusion, conspiracy theories, Destiny's Child, dictators, Dodgy, Edinburgh, erections, facial hair, fakery, films, food, gender reassignment, genitalia, genitals, girls, Hillary Clinton, hormones, Houses of Parliament, injunctions, jazzmags, language, Lars von Trier, laws, Leonardo DiCaprio, Longpigs, loos, manners, marriage, Mel Smith, menarche, menstruation, Michael Winterbottom, Michelle Obama, mispronunciation, moon, movies, MPs' expenses, Mr President, Nasa, Nine Songs, Official Secrets Act, orchidectomy, Parliament, parliamentary privilege, parties, party bags, penises, plaid, plays, politicians, politics, power, power marriage, prawn, pulling, Queen Middleton, Richard Branson, Robert Mugabe, romance, Sarah Palin, school, Scotland, SFX, smoking, smoking ban, space, space travel, special effects, squid, STIs, superinjunctions, the moon, theatre, theme parties, toilets, Tony Blair, tumescence, US politics, Virgin Galactic, White House, wives, women
Posted in PODCASTS | 4 Comments »
March 3, 2011
This week, listeners, we go on a journey. Don’t worry – it’s not an emotional one like they have on reality shows! We go from Great Yarmouth to Gibraltar, California to Celebration, and end up in Utopia. It must be good if Cliff Richard is skating around it. Anyway, strap in and travel along with us in Answer Me This! Episode 169 (dudes):
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
We also consider:
Sam Cooke vs. Claire Tully
razor clams
dirty sexy waxworks
carp
Visalia
dusky pink
Alisha’s Attic
cork floors
sorghum
creative management tips from Jeffrey Archer
bathroom predictions from Sarah Beeny
dried apple
pork six-pack
and
Aberystwyth.
Plus: Olly wonders why toilet seat vendors have missed the opportunity to part this fool and his money; Helen fails to reap the full entertainment offered by a bowel movement; and Martin the Sound Man wishes* that the whole world could be as democratic where men’s crotches are concerned as Madame Tussaud’s is. If that’s not enough crotch for you for one week, today’s Bit of Crap on the App is us reminiscing about that 90s TV trend to line naked men up behind a screen then leer at their genitals. Relive those glory days of The Word with us on iPhone or Android.
It’s Lent next week, but we’re not going to give up answering QUESTIONS, so send them as voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Not that Lent holds much sway with atheist Jews, mind.
See you next week, for AMT170!
Helen & Olly
* He also wishes that you stick around till the very end of the episode to hear one of the songs off his new album ‘Songs from the Scientific Cabaret’. Make his wish come true, do. And come to see him play at the Geekpop festival on 10th March, why not? Because you’ll have given up geeky pursuits for Lent? Liar!
Tags:1960s, 69, Alex Winter, Alisha's Attic, Arcata, authors, awkward situations, B&Q, babies, basins, bathrooms, baths, Bill and Ted, Blackpool, bodies, bodily functions, bowel movements, California, cleverity, Cliff Richard, conception, convenience foods, cookery, corn on the cob, crap towns, creative pursuits, decor, degrees, Denise van Outen, diet, digestion, drunk-dialling, East Anglia, erectile dysfunction, erections, etiquette, fish, fish fingers, Gibraltar, goldfish, history, holidays, hygiene, inconvenient foods, Karen Poole, Keanu Reeves, Kylie, Latitude Festival, laziness, lethargy, libraries, Lizzy Roper, Madame Tussauds, marine life, Milton Keynes, money, new towns, News in Briefs, Norfolk, nudity, nutrition, packaging, Page 3, pancetta, penises, pets, poo, poverty, pregnancy, procrastination, restaurants, scat, seaside, sex, Shelley Poole, shellfish, sick, students, supermarkets, sweetcorn, tertiary education, the Sixties, The Word, Thorpe Park, toilets, tourism, town planning, UK tourism, utopia, vacations, Wales, writing
Posted in PODCASTS | 5 Comments »
January 20, 2011
Dear friends,
Have you ever had selective amnesia? I, for instance, have blocked out every memory of looking into a mirror before my childhood fringe grew out. And in Answer Me This! Episode 163, we discover the event that must have been so traumatic, Olly Mann’s mind banished it…until now:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Things we have not banished from our minds this episode are:
ordnance survey
mouse mats
Lesley Garrett
The Ring and the Book
Jesus Christ: gap year student
Karl Pilkington vs. Aeschylus
Thunderbirds vs. Sex and the City
gastroenteritis – the pleasant kind
Saint Princess Diana
Marie Carmargo
MI1-19
Alexei Sayle’s Stuff 
pick-up sticks
the Pope’s posthumous Parkinson’s panacea
and
natural selection through cock-size.
Plus: Olly retracts what he said about Love Actually in Episode 161; Helen invents the portable carpal tunnel preventative gel wristlet; and Martin the Sound Man reveals his ghost pelvis, although luckily just to Helen rather than the entire world.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone or Android; not available for landlines) is a question from Lois, who wants to know the truth about the mythical place whose name everybody knows but whose nature few understand: the Watford Gap.
This January, we’re on a detox diet: nothing but cottage cheese and your QUESTIONS. So feed us! Leave your voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Because we HATE cottage cheese, and we’re hungry.
oxes,
Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Book • Question Archive • Episodes • Merch
• iPhone App • Android App • Facebook • Twitter • YouTube • FAQ
Tags:1960s, Action Man, apostles, art, ballerinas, ballet, Black Swan, bodily fluids, bodily functions, Chico, Christ, Christianity, Christmas presents, classical civilisation, classics, computers, death, director's commentaries, disciples, Enduring Love, English literature, espionage, FAB, fabulous, games, genitalia, Gerry Anderson, god, Greeks, hemlock, Ian McEwan, illness, intelligence, Jesus, Judas, Ken, Last Night of the Proms, Lesley Garrett, lift, literature, mercury poisoning, MI5, MI6, mice, military intelligence, money, mono, Monopoly, Monopoly money, Mother Teresa, mouse, mouses, movie cliches, music, myths, outdated technology, penises, philosophers, piss, Plato, poetry, presents, rebranding failure, religion, Robert Browning, sainthood, SATC, sculpture, Socrates, statues, Stephen Fry, students, talc, talcum powder, the 60s, the Bible, Thunderbirds, tutus, university, Warwick, Who's Line is it Anyway?
Posted in PODCASTS | 7 Comments »
June 3, 2010
We see a dark blot on the horizon. A dark, sports-shaped blot. Wimbledon AND the World Cup football in the next month? It’s too much for our sensibilities. We can’t stop it; we can’t pretend to like it; but we can prepare ourselves, so we try to limber up with a bit of tangentially sportif chitterchatter in Answer Me This! Episode 138:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Don’t worry, the majority of the content is non-sportular, including:
Project Runway
Jacques Chirac G8 Fail
Hobbycraft
Wenlock and Mandeville vs. Banksy and David Shrigley
Ped Egg vs. fungal nail infection in the Battle of the Turned Stomachs
Yoshiaki Shiraishi
massage
sitting shivah
the obscure early life of Jools Holland
NASA entry requirements
and
bacon bras.
Plus: Olly finds the present day to be lagging behind in meeting targets set in The Terminator; Helen reveals the secret that made Neil Armstrong the first man on the moon; and Martin the Sound Man is quite quiet and well-behaved because he’s really thinking about getting back to playing Red Dead Redemption. A podcast cannot come between the man and his PS3. Harrumph.
We’re looking to you to keep our spirits up in these tryingly footbally times, so please send us QUESTIONS with which to distract ourselves, in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Ta for that.
See you next Thursday!
Helen and Olly
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• App • Facebook • Twitter • Merch Superstore • YouTube Channel •
Tags:actors, advertising, adverts, astronauts, Bob Dylan, bodies, breakfast, Britain, Carry On, crafts, cruelty, death, dole, drugs, eggs, etymology, Fail, feet, food, France, funerals, future post-apocalyptic dystopias, genitalia, geriatrics, great British underwhelmingness, hobbies, holidays, hygiene, Japan, japes, jobs, jokes, medical, music, music festivals, nudism, nudity, Olympics, peer pressure, penises, phrases, pranks, relationships, restaurants, sayings, space, space travel, sport, Springboks, Squeeze, superstition, sushi, tattoo, telly, the Beatles, the Queen, theatre, Tony Blair, Tunbridge Wells, unemployment, wakes, welfare state, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS | 10 Comments »
November 26, 2009
***WARNING: This episode contains spoilers
about the 1994 Coen brothers film
The Hudsucker Proxy***
Undaunted? Then by all means listen on, but don’t complain to us when you get to the 19th minute and discover that 15-year-old plot twist:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
This week we bang on about:
Philip Larkin’s debut novel
the three second rule
Tom of Finland
Sir Patrick Mayhew
Jason and the Argonauts
Lorraine Kelly, record-breaker
Stephen Fry’s Paperweight
Sir Menzies Campbell
Rick Witter
the Milton Keynes Snow Dome
Vince McMahon
Porthos
urethral openings
raw chicken
Brewster’s Millions
and
travelators.
Also: how Olly breaks wind stealthily; how Helen’s congenital squint ruined Up for her; and how bananas work, according to Martin the Sound Man. You’d been wondering for years what secrets those little bastards were concealing, hadn’t you?
As ever we’re greedy for YOUR QUESTIONS, so ask ask ask via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. We’re very grateful to all of you who shared your stupid nicknames last week – which everyone else can enjoy here; this week, you have the easy task of leaving a comment with your answer to Jorge from Mexico’s question, telling us what you would like to do for one day and one day only. Nothing too blue, please; the shock could kill us.
Also, if you are planning on doing any pre-Christmas Amazon orders, would you be a tremendous dear and log onto their site via this link
first? Your Amazonian shopping experience will be 100% the same; however we will then get approx. £0.0000001, which we can put towards a new microphone, or the high-class courtesan we’ve been saving up for. Much obliged to you.
See you next week!
Helen and Olly
Add this episode to: 
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Tags:bodily functions, books, booze, bowels, etymology, films, food, guns, literature, movies, nicknames, penises, police, racist phrases, romance, school, sport
Posted in PODCASTS, User-generated answers | 4 Comments »
September 10, 2009
Good morning, fellows,
Answer Me This! Episode 108 is one for the record-books! Why? Is it the world’s fastest-ever podcast? No. Is it the world’s fattest-ever podcast? Possibly… Oh, shut up. Actually, the superlative achievement we refer to is this: in today’s episode, we read out our longest-ever question. Yes! You excited? Tarry no longer:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
As well as the behemoth question, we talk about:
Lady Sovereign
the Romans
cuttlefish
head ushers
pierced kidneys
Coinstar machines
sex in tents
Sinitta
Brian Wilson
Mr Bean
and
groats.
Furthermore, Olly displays a surprisingly delicate sensibility towards the bare-chested ladies of Page 3; Helen blames a broken mirror for her sub-par exam results, rather than the fact that she was too lazy to do any revision; and Martin the Sound Man will soon be auditioning for a new Best Man – mint-condition applicants ONLY, please; he’s not taking anyone else’s cast-offs.
This episode also comes with illustrations! Like Storyteller magazine – ‘ting!’ when you turn the page, etc etc – only in this case, your cue is when you hear us talking about grisly piercings, at which point you may want to view these pictures (SFW, don’t worry).
If you have any unusual body-art you feel compelled to share with us – or, preferably, you have some QUESTIONS for us, please get in touch: email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or croon them into the ear of Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. Plus if you’re a cheapskate with a bit of advice for William from Larne’s student budget, please leave it in a comment below (don’t worry, it’s totally free).
See you next week!
Helen and Olly
Add this episode to:
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Facebook • Twitter • Merch Superstore • YouTube Channel
Tags:adornments, air travel, camping, dilemmas, etymology, festivals, friendship, hygiene, manners, money, penises, pets, piercings, public indecency, romance, sex, sleeping, Stanmore, superstition, swimming, weddings
Posted in PODCASTS | 1 Comment »
Answer Me This! Podcast 
EPISODE 163 – 80 years of failure
January 20, 2011Dear friends,
Have you ever had selective amnesia? I, for instance, have blocked out every memory of looking into a mirror before my childhood fringe grew out. And in Answer Me This! Episode 163, we discover the event that must have been so traumatic, Olly Mann’s mind banished it…until now:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Things we have not banished from our minds this episode are:
ordnance survey
mouse mats
Lesley Garrett
The Ring and the Book
Jesus Christ: gap year student
Karl Pilkington vs. Aeschylus
Thunderbirds vs. Sex and the City
gastroenteritis – the pleasant kind
Saint Princess Diana
Marie Carmargo
MI1-19
Alexei Sayle’s Stuff
pick-up sticks
the Pope’s posthumous Parkinson’s panacea
and
natural selection through cock-size.
Plus: Olly retracts what he said about Love Actually in Episode 161; Helen invents the portable carpal tunnel preventative gel wristlet; and Martin the Sound Man reveals his ghost pelvis, although luckily just to Helen rather than the entire world.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone or Android; not available for landlines) is a question from Lois, who wants to know the truth about the mythical place whose name everybody knows but whose nature few understand: the Watford Gap.
This January, we’re on a detox diet: nothing but cottage cheese and your QUESTIONS. So feed us! Leave your voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Because we HATE cottage cheese, and we’re hungry.
oxes,
Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Book • Question Archive • Episodes • Merch
• iPhone App • Android App • Facebook • Twitter • YouTube • FAQ
Tags:1960s, Action Man, apostles, art, ballerinas, ballet, Black Swan, bodily fluids, bodily functions, Chico, Christ, Christianity, Christmas presents, classical civilisation, classics, computers, death, director's commentaries, disciples, Enduring Love, English literature, espionage, FAB, fabulous, games, genitalia, Gerry Anderson, god, Greeks, hemlock, Ian McEwan, illness, intelligence, Jesus, Judas, Ken, Last Night of the Proms, Lesley Garrett, lift, literature, mercury poisoning, MI5, MI6, mice, military intelligence, money, mono, Monopoly, Monopoly money, Mother Teresa, mouse, mouses, movie cliches, music, myths, outdated technology, penises, philosophers, piss, Plato, poetry, presents, rebranding failure, religion, Robert Browning, sainthood, SATC, sculpture, Socrates, statues, Stephen Fry, students, talc, talcum powder, the 60s, the Bible, Thunderbirds, tutus, university, Warwick, Who's Line is it Anyway?
Posted in PODCASTS | 7 Comments »