Posts Tagged ‘clubs’

EPISODE 307: a rubber glove with no fingers

February 5, 2015

Overshadowed by a special guest appearance from Missy Elliott*, here’s Answer Me This! Episode 307:

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*Not really. She refuses to respond to our postcards.

On today’s question-answering slate:

female strippers
male strippers
drupes
Grumpy Cat
beckoning cats
Cats
Lil Bub: the Chris Martin of cats
Ben Lashes
fast food delivery
wedding diplomacy
Happy Meal toys
Ronald McDonald vs Carol Vorderman
human beatboxing
coconuts
and
Femidoms.

Plus: Olly’s brain or his wang can be stimulated, but never at the same time; Helen could have been the late-90s Beanie Baby trading magnate of Tunbridge Wells; and Martin the Sound Man exercises uncharacteristic restraint in the face of a question about beatboxing. Though he still manages to sound like he’s polishing a window with his own spit.

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App contains further contemplation of memes and cats and the internet’s favourite/Helen’s least favourite, cat memes. Hear on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Use it use it use it!

With every fibre of our being, we yearn for your QUESTIONS. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Join us in the vale of online friendship at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll be here with AMT308 on 19th February, hopefully you will be too.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT307 Child-Friendly Rating: 39%. Swearing, strippers AND Femidoms. Maybe not. •••

PS As it sleets down upon the steeple of the AMT stronghold, here is Olly in more clement climes modelling this year’s hot look in drupes:

IMG_0681

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EPISODE 259 – Colin not Cola

May 30, 2013

Hi listeners,

Today we discuss the world’s greatest audio format apart from this one: Desert Island Discs. What would your luxury be? (If you’re a cheating cheater who wants to take a fully-stocked iPod, throw yourself into the sea.) Find out ours, along with myriad other important nuggets of information, in Answer Me This! Episode 259:

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In which we also consider:

condoms vs. opera gloves
knits vs. nits
Tim Burton vs. Faust
Olly vs. Ollie vs. Olleigh
cherry-pickers
gentlemen’s clubs (nb not ‘gentlemen’s clubs’)
The Reform Act
This Life
personalised Coke bottles
Simon Cowell’s reflection
mayonnaise spa treatments
retro-live-tweeting
and
Russ Abbott.

Plus: Olly is nostalgic for an infestation of headlice; Helen WOULD with the person who changes the lights in supermarkets; and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t want to swallow himself. Just reflect on that quietly.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) Olly rhapsodises about the Coca-Cola Freestyle Machine. All the different types of sugar water – in one machine! A miracle of modern life.

Another miracle of modern life is to be able to watch thousands of hours of entertainment for FREE thanks to our LoveFilm offer – which, equally miraculously, helps pay for future Answer Me Thises.

As well as free money, we can only sustain the podcast with your QUESTIONS, so send them along in the form of voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 255 – you can’t build up to the Shewee

May 2, 2013

Hello listeners,

We really hope you didn’t first hear the sad news about JLS on Answer Me This! Episode 255. If you did, please accept our condolences at this difficult time.

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Through our veil of grief, today we discuss:

fruit PDA
inappropriate gifts
Volvos
proofreading Pitbull’s party anthems
Pop Star to Deer Farmer
Abz from 5ive
bangs
Andre 3000 + Beyonce covering Winehouse
porn prodigies
Paul Torrisi
Olly’s mum’s sex tips
and
Olly’s cat’s arsehole.

Plus: Olly’s not so much house-hunting as Costco cupboard-hunting; Michelle Obama makes Helen weepy; and if unlike Martin the Sound Man’s parents you DO want to listen to his albums, get them from thesoundoftheladies.com. Perfect soundtrack for gardening and cat funerals.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we consider the ridiculousness of reading about Web 2.0 via Web 0.0, ie print media, which is going the way of JLS before too long.

We don’t intend to go anywhere soon, though, so do send us your QUESTIONS for forthcoming episodes: leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Bye!

Helen & Olly

PS Revisit our previous discourse about the male and female symbols in AMT96 and JLS in AMT187.

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EPISODE 249 – a long line of sadists

March 7, 2013

Hello listeners, and goodbye as we will be off for the next two Thursdays. That’s just enough time for you to listen to a free audiobook, enjoy Martin the Sound Man’s album, subscribe to the other weekly podcast featuring us Let’s Talk About Tech, peruse our back catalogue, and mow the lawn.

And, do not forget, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 249 as well:

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Today we discuss:

tweed
Michael Jackson’s umbrella
chopsticks
Gaelic warlords
pipe-smoking
tax trends
The Fugitive vs. fairytales
Harold Wilson vs. Gandalf
lockers
the goddess Ériu
Toronto, Kansas
chopsticks
and
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

Plus: teenage Olly was the lovelorn Bard of txtspk; Helen is going to spend the AMTbreak in Scotland investigating The Mystery of the Missing Sweet and Sour Pork Balls; and Martin the Sound Man won’t sacrifice choice for convenience when it comes to the specific heat capaity of his toast toppings.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android), we delve further into Chris from Lewes’s question about combining butter with other spreadable substances. Perhaps he’s just ahead of his time! Or perhaps he really is just unbelievably lazy.

You, however, ought not be so lazy that you fail to send us your QUESTIONS for the next series. Leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Give us something great with which to celebrate AMT250, because we can’t afford a marching band.

Until 28th March, farewell!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 220 – I’m with the Tithead party

June 21, 2012

As AMT devotees, you know that we don’t shy away from the most serious questions the human mind can concoct. Remember AMT198 last year, when we boldly tackled “What makes a pie a pie?” Today, in Answer Me This! Episode 220, we broach another foodstuff with an identity crisis – salad:

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Seriously though, how can this and this and this and this be even nominally related? Pffft.

Anyway, tossed into the conversational salad this week are:

facts about Eugene, Oregon
Hamlet, the Madonna of his time
Madonna, the sexual bully of her time
alternating current vs. direct current
dentist chair vs. electric chair
Natalie Portman Hershlag
French Freemasons
William Kemmler
Pizza Express
rainbow parties
Rory Gallagher’s guitar
and
Spin the Bottle.

Plus: Olly impresses the ladies with his great big throbbing veins; Helen discovers that Thomas Edison was a right cnut; and Martin the Sound Man plays coy about his age. Don’t worry Martin, you don’t look a day under 55.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App is more crap-related than usual, as it features a question from Stephy from Bristol about the point of patterned toilet paper. Along the way we learn upon what Simon Cowell and the Queen probably wipe their bottoms. The rich educational resource that is the Answer Me This! app is available for iDevices or Android, you’ll be relieved to know. Relieved. Ho ho ho.

Enough japery for one week; but if you want to listen to more of our japery next week, you are obliged to send us a QUESTION: emails go to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis).

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 194 – interesting dioramas

October 27, 2011

Hello listeners,

In cities the world over, people are staging sit-ins; so naturally we followed suit, and sat in AMT Towers to produce Answer Me This! Episode 194. Yeah, we’re sticking it to The Man!

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week, we talk of:

naughty nuns
Going for Gold
The Lion King 3D
fancy dress pitfalls
AFoLs (Adult Fans of Lego)
standard deviation in men’s haircuts
Cornish separatists
Victorian vaginas
Hans Zimmer
high tea
L7
the pink British Empire
impersonating a police officer
John Suchet (NOT David Suchet)
the true meaning of ‘fascinating’
ALF the Alien vs. nipple tassels
and
Southall’s antique jamrags.

Plus: Olly’s suspicions are proven correct that the perennially awful Rosemary Daniels did not get into Neighbours on merit; Helen’s not going to allow someone else to have the pleasure of waving sharp blades close to her head, thankyou very much; and Martin the Sound Man fleetingly refers to ‘The Bill Callahan Effect’. Don’t worry if you’ve never heard of this phenomenon: it is familiar to precisely one person, and that person is Martin. Well done, Martin, for tapping into the popular consciousness so very effectively.

On this week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhones, iPads and Android devices) you can find out what costume you need to be sexy, smart AND snug on Halloween. Clue: it involves tweed and elbow patches. Ring-a-ding-ding!

Like the greedy greedy bankers, we are greedy – for your QUESTIONS! Leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and don’t worry about the consequences: us having a big coffer full of questions will not mean that 99% of the populace has to struggle on without questions at all. Especially as we’ll be giving those questions BACK in next week’s episode, plus interest (answers). In the AMT economy, nobody has to suffer.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 165 – a drugs whoopie pie

February 3, 2011

Greetings, Team AMT!

Director David Cronenberg welcomes you to Answer Me This! Episode 165, AKA the Body Horror episode. In it, we take a close look at Prince Alberts, alkaline vaginas and the arse of Jo O’Meara from S Club 73. Cross your legs and here we go:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Come back! There’s good clean fun as well, in the shape of:

nativity plays
pyjama trousers
candyfloss
Bellowhead
whisky mac
Hardy Amies
Damian Lewis
Nuramol
Looxcie
the Polyphonic Spree
Legally Blonde the Musical
Joan Holloway/Harris
Jessica Rabbit vs. Geri Halliwell
Barack Obama vs. babies
Doug Malloy
King Herod
Stephanie Seymour & Son
security tits
Saturday Toilet
and
Benito Mussolini’s bell-end.

We realise that that list gets less clean as it goes on, but no less fun. Further fun: Olly’s Machiavellian side thrusts itself to the fore as he wishes to distort the telly-watchers of the UK into a massive army of Olly Manns; Helen nags you to eat breakfast, else you’ll be all cranky by 11am AND you’ll never conceive a girl-baby; and Martin the Sound Man would like you to know that if your name’s not down, you’re not coming in. At least not until he’s finished his bag of foam shrimps.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (appless? Then hurry up and get it for your iPhone or Android device) is a little nugget of showbiz slang. Ever heard of a ‘kinell’? No? Well, you’re not showbiz, are you? Unlike this week’s app bonus footage.

Keep your QUESTIONS coming in please, in the forms of emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or voicemails left on the Question Line 0208 123 5877/Skype answermethis. And if you work for Ginger Crunch Creams, Crabbie’s Ginger Beer or Booja-Booja Ginger Wine Truffles and, after this episode, want to sponsor us, we’ll happily change the name of the show to ‘Ginger Me This’ in return for half a ton of those delicious gingery products every week.

Yours gingerly,

Helen & Olly

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