What have you been listening to lately, AMTpals? Share your picks in the comments. Here are some of the things that have infiltrated my ears:
• Last weekend, to keep me company whilst I raced to finish a ridiculous craft project, I chained several episodes of Why Oh Why? with Andrea Silenzi and Date Night, both of which feel like eavesdropping on very candid conversations. More reliable than hoping you hit the jackpot on the train by getting a seat in front of a couple of people having a very juicy chat…
• Also candid: latest Radiotopia recruit Mortified. During the craft project I watched the Mortified Nation documentary, and now I can get my fix of adults reading their embarrassing teenage diaries and letters on their new weekly podcast (here it is on SoundCloud and iTunes).
I’m SO glad I never kept a diary. All my teenage feelings, not saved for posterity! Thank goodness…
• I was rooting around in the Radio 4 archives and happened upon an episode of Chain Reaction in which Rebecca Front is interviewed by her brother Jeremy Front. Who doesn’t love Rebecca Front? That’s right, none of you raised your hands. Then I looked down the chain and saw who else was coming up in the series – Chris Addison! Derren Brown! Caitlin Moran! – and, well, that’s three hours taken care of. Then I noticed the other nine series, so that’s me sorted until March.
What else have we been up to since the hijinks of AMT307?
You can hear Olly every late night/early morning on LBC, and every fortnight on the Media Podcast, of which there should be a new episode later today.
You’ll enjoy the latest episode of The Allusionist, especially if you’re that listener who wrote in a few years ago to tell me he enjoyed hearing me say ‘cunt’. Because this whole show is about the word cunt. Find the show at theallusionist.org, iTunes, SoundCloud or those other places you like to find podcasts.
Aaaaand finally: here is my very last podcast for Sound Women. I’m taking early retirement. Aptly, my swansong is all about podcasting; I chat to Theresa Thorn of the very entertaining One Bad Mother, and to my new boss/patron Roman Mars of 99% Invisible. If you’ve ever wanted to hear podcasters moaning about what goes on behind the scenes, your ship has come in (on SoundCloud and iTunes):
Overshadowed by a special guest appearance from Missy Elliott*, here’s Answer Me This! Episode 307:
*Not really. She refuses to respond to our postcards.
On today’s question-answering slate:
female strippers
male strippers
drupes
Grumpy Cat beckoning cats Cats Lil Bub: the Chris Martin of cats
Ben Lashes
fast food delivery
wedding diplomacy
Happy Meal toys
Ronald McDonald vs Carol Vorderman
human beatboxing
coconuts
and
Femidoms.
Plus: Olly’s brain or his wang can be stimulated, but never at the same time; Helen could have been the late-90s Beanie Baby trading magnate of Tunbridge Wells; and Martin the Sound Man exercises uncharacteristic restraint in the face of a question about beatboxing. Though he still manages to sound like he’s polishing a window with his own spit.
Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App contains further contemplation of memes and cats and the internet’s favourite/Helen’s least favourite, cat memes. Hear on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets.
Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Use it use it use it!
With every fibre of our being, we yearn for your QUESTIONS. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
It was a pedigree theoretical cat. The best breed, in my opinion: it doesn’t moult, piss on the carpet or claw at visitors.
Do any of you know whether or not Erwin Schrödinger actually owned a cat? Since his famous thought experiment involved dead cat, I always assumed he probably wasn’t a fan of the live kind.
I live in a very boring town in Iowa in the United States.
I was actually born somewhere near the Bentwaters air force base as my Dad was stationed there and I have never been back for a visit. I was 3 when we came back to the States so I don’t remember much about it.
Sooooo answer me this – can you tell me something interesting or anything really about where I was born?
Here’s a question of pongs from Tom from Yerevan, Armenia:
I have recently given up smoking and as a result my sense of smell and taste have begun to return, which is bloody wonderful.
I am also dating a lovely Iranian woman who I like very much. However, there is one tiny problem. She wears perfume every day. In fact she wears a lot of perfume every day. Back when I was smoking I didn’t really notice and in fact I quite liked how she smelled, but now I have started to notice with my heightened senses that the scent can be a little overpowering at times.
Furthermore, the perfume she wears is a very popular brand where we live in Yerevan (Armenia) and many older women also wear it.
I don’t want her to stop wearing perfume altogether, but I think I would be happier if she wore less, or maybe switched to something that is a little different to what she wears now.
So please answer me this: How can I tell my wonderful Iranian girlfriend that she smells like an old Armenian woman without causing upset or some sort of difficult diplomatic situation??
First tip: avoid using the phrase ‘smells like an old Armenian woman’.
If my creaking old memory serves, we’ve addressed this problem before – I think one of you had an overly scented grandmother? – and solutions included 1) buying her a watered-down version of the same fragrance, eg the eau de toilette versus the full-power perfume; 2) pretending to be allergic to it by sneezing/painting on a rash. Readers, what would you do? [RWWYD?]
3. The ‘Burnout’ episode of StartUp podcast. Gimlet Media, the guys behind StartUp, are some of the most successful in the business, with the additional advantages of funds, skills, and This American Life stamp of approval; so if even they find podcasting a real slog, the rest of us should be sobbing in a heap by now.
But we’re not! We’re still churning out podcasts! Viz:
• Have you heard AMT306yet? You haven’t? With its hymn to chicken Kiev and Ainsley Harriott? Well, you know what you need to do.
• Here’s a new(ish) episode of Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown, featuring me and Holly Burn. I say newish: we recorded it last August late at night at the Green Man Festival, but it has only just been released, so the summer festival vibe feels very distant to me as I sit here typing with sock gloves on my hands.
• In the new episode of The Allusionist, BuzzFeed senior editor Tom Phillips what linguistic sorcery he uses to goad you into making posts go viral. And there’s a cameo from AMTpal Roman Mars complaining that we’re all using the word ‘viral’ incorrectly anyway. SO THERE.
• Remember, Martin the Sound Man makes numerous other podcasts, including Brain Train about clever things, The Global Lab about smart cities and stuff, and The Sound of the Ladies music podcast. He’s about to add a couple more shows to his roster. Wait for us to catch up, Martin!
What have you been listening to this week, you treasures?
Fire up your podblasters; Answer Me This! Episode 306 has arrived:
Today we consider:
Ainsley Harriott
Extreme Wink Murder
standing desks
Britney Spears’s haircare range
Barry Norman’s pickled onions Paul Simon’s chicken and eggs
yellow dusters
skateboarding and similar activities
having ‘a bit of fun’ on Tinder
and
Chicken Kiev.
Plus: Olly’s madeleine is the Bernard Matthews Mini Kiev; Helen is sitting all the way to skating glory; and Martin the Sound Man preaches discretion when encountering colleagues on Tinder. Got something to confess, Martin?
Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is another Stanley Mann Special, this time how he’s way ahead of his time with fashion trends. Full of surprises, that Mann. Hear on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets.
We welcome your questions with open arms and legs. Ask them by leaving voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or sending emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Do not bother to ask them via facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly, because we might forget about them when it comes to the fortnightly question-harvest; but we do love to hear from you there nonetheless.
Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘answer’. WHERE’S THE ALL THE SHIT HIDING??? WHERE IS IT, I ASK YOU? Nowhere! No shit there at all! If only all of life were more like shitless Squarespace…
We’ll be back with AMT307 on 5th February, return then.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT306 Child-Friendly Rating: 47%. Quite a few swears. Some crudity towards the end, involving One Direction’s bodily fluids, polishing wood, and Tinder. •••
Tom from Derby is trying to friend zone an actual friend. He writes:
How do I break up with someone that I’m not in a relationship with? I have an acquaintance that I have nothing in common with and find conversation with him to be very difficult but he wants to go everywhere with me and invites me everywhere and basically comes on too strong. I think I might be his best friend but I don’t consider him more than an acquaintance and that makes me quite sad.
I tried getting to know him a bit better but I definitely don’t enjoy his company. I’ve tried ignoring his daily texts, Facebook messages and emails but they don’t dry up. I’ve tried avoiding him but he knows my haunts and is often there too.
My “friendship” with him is putting a strain on my real friendships and relationship as he keeps turning up the places that we go. He’s not a horrible person (and neither am I) but we just have nothing in common. I don’t want him to be lonely but I don’t want to see him several times a week for the rest of my life and wish he would pursue other friendships with more like-minded people.
We are both straight men – in case you jump to conclusions.
That’s a tricky one, Tom. I think you’re right to avoid engaging in his frequent comms, but it’s possible your aloofness is making this person even more eager to win your affection – like when you ignore a golden retriever, so they bounce all over you at every opportunity rather than playing it cool.
Readers, what would you do? Advise Tom in the comments. But remember to keep your emotional distance.
Charlie in North Wales writes:
My dad lives in a relatively urban area north east of Birmingham.
Recently we were clearing out the garden when we discovered a concrete slab in the ground, and during its removal we found what appeared to be a small and apparently bottomless hole, around 50cm in diameter.
As anyone would, we decided to investigate, and after looking online at council records and in the deeds to the house, we found no sign of any hole ever being recorded.
With a weight and a piece of string, we discovered it was over 21m deep, bricked all the way, and possibly deeper, due to a thick and wet mud at the bottom that we could not get past. Concerned about the fates of any animals or children who met their demise at the bottom, I have concluded my only hope is you.
So, answer me this: how can it not be recorded, should I be worried and what should I do?
What should you do? Concentrate on not falling down it, Charlie. That’s the main thing.
Should you be worried? That depends on whether you’ll overlook the obvious explanation – that it’s an old well, surely? – in favour of a worrying one, like it’s a vortex ready to suck the West Midlands into oblivion.
Chicken and egg recipes keep rolling in. Robbie from Santa Barbara, California says:
I read about a Moroccan dish, which I can’t wait to try…it sounds delicious! Two ingredients in pastilla, sometimes called bastilla, are chicken and eggs, each being the main ingredient in one of the layers of this complex dish. Here’s a recipe.
Henrik writes:
Since AMT305, I’ve had a think about dishes with chicken and eggs on them, and in the Philippines we have at least one: chicken galantina, which is essentially stuffed whole chicken, with a hard boiled egg inside. And some versions of our adobo (a quintessential Filipino dish where meat is cooked in vinegar, garlic, peppers and soy sauce) has some hard boiled eggs in it. But then I had one more thought: what about dishes that have chicken and eggs that are not from chickens? Like quail egg. I’ve seen dishes with chicken and quail egg. Does it make things less morbid?
Good question, Henrik. I maintain that poultry doesn’t really go with eggs, texturally or flavourwise; but if you’re eggsperimenting, why not venture further afield? Say a dish of chicken and dinosaur egg? What do you reckon? Come on readers, I know at least one of you has tried it…
On an etymological tip, I listened to this episode of Slate Working interviewing a lexicographer about her job, and it really made me quite relieved that in 2003 the OED rejected me for my dream job as a lexicographer so I had to become a podcaster instead. Seems like a lot of admin.
Also, if you are fans of The Conspiracy Theories of Olly Mann, you may well enjoy this episode of Reply Allabout One Direction conspiracy theorists. That’s a next level hobby…
Remember to update your Media Podcast feeds tomorrow, for Olly will be back hosting a fresh new episode.
• Catch up on AMT305, in which we contemplate a questioneer’s unusual lITerature-inspired tattoo, argue about olive-theft, and reflect upon our lack of audiobook-reading jobs. •AMT episodes 1-170 and the special AMT albums are all available at answermethisstore.com, and if you buy any of them you’re bankrolling the podcast, for which we are extremely grateful. •Olly’s on LBC every weekday 1am-4am. Chug that caffeine to join him. • I host the monthly Sound Women podcast. • Martin the Sound Man makes numerous other podcasts, including Brain Train about clever things, The Global Lab about cities and stuff, and The Sound of the Ladies music podcast.
Welcome to the ninth year of AMT! Before we get stuck into Answer Me This! Episode 305, care to guess which literary work is the inspiration for this questioneer’s tattoo?
Plus: Olly likes to hang loose, even in his gloves; Helen’s going to have to work on her offensive foreign accents if she wants a career narrating audiobooks; and Martin the Sound Man’s morals go to shit around olives.
In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App Olly discovers the one type of present his dad Stanley IS happy to receive. Give yourself this gift by getting the app for your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets.
Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘answer’. You want a nice website, don’t you? DON’T YOU? Thought so.
We’ll be back with AMT306 on 22nd January, so be ready.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT305 Child-Friendly Rating: 80%. Maybe we’ve forgotten something, but we think both language and content were pretty above-board today. Moments of parental concern may have occurred during the discussions of Stephen King’s It, and Carmen Electra. •••
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Answer Me This! Podcast 