Forgive us, but we’re all tired out at the end of this series of Answer Me This! – it’s been our longest one so far! And while we’re off on our anecdote-gathering trips in February, we want you to do a little something for us. Something fun and exciting. Find out what in Episode 124:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
On the agenda today are:
the cockblocking face of Gareth Gates True Blood
SOHCAHTOA Fatal Attraction
cuddling vs. cortisol
Mitchell’n’Webb
nudie pics
mad actors The Reader
the sexy Saw ride
and
Aslan.
Plus: Olly takes umbrage with ancient Canadian traditions; Helen totally fails the 1990s Culture module at the University of Life; and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t want to see any of those nasty films with boffing in them, OK? So stop sending him copies of Nine Songs in the post!
Now, it’s with great solemnity that we bid adieu to you until 4th March – but make sure we come back with a bang by supplying us with YOUR QUESTIONS, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. We look forward to hearing from you, and hopefully you will look forward to hearing from us. You might also be looking forward to hearing a free Audible audiobook, which you can get HERE. That should obliterate a few hours of silence while we’re off air, no?
Please treat yourselves nicely during February, and we’ll see you right back here before you know it!
Seems Canada survived Olly’s recent skiing trip intact, but did Olly himself? Did you have a sweepstake on just how long he would succeed on the slopes? Find out whether he was a natural snowMann or pisspoor on the piste in Answer Me This! Episode 123 [or just ask his doctor]:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Wherein we talk of:
Pinocchio’s nose: logical tool or moral tool?
the pain of childbirth The Wedding Banquet one SICK PUPPY (mildly NSFW, unless you are happy for your colleagues to think you are a bit of a perv)
keratin
driving with Homer Simpson
cod liver oil
bums vs. sharks
the wrong way to achieve the work/life balance
and
fugu.
Plus: Olly finds himself uncharacteristically bashful at being the centre of attention; Helen outlines the original sense of ‘no glove, no love’; and Martin the Sound Man thinks that a really intelligent question is one about pissing into a jug. Incidentally, last week he was setting exam questions for Physics undergraduates; so if you happen to be sitting one of Dr Austwick’s papers, by that standard you should sail through.
Now, don’t be upset, but this is the penultimate episode in the current series of Answer Me This!; we’ll be back on 4th March with renewed question-answering vigour. But tune in next Thursday for Episode 124, in which we have a very exciting announcement. No, none of us our pregnant. Guess again. No, we’re not undergoing gender reassignment either. Shut up.
So until then, chop chop and get your free Audible audiobooks HERE – and please ask all your friends and enemies to take up the offer as well! You could also tell them to ask us a QUESTION for next series, by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or leaving a message with Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. And in return we’ll…um…dedicate a bench to you?
See you next week!
Helen and Olly
PS As promised, this is for all you toenail fetishists out there:
So Simon Cowell has left American Idol. Rumours he’s jumped ship to Answer Me This! are unsubstantiated. Because they’re completely fabricated! But let’s start one, just for giggles.
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
This week:
Frightfest
the revolving restaurant in Berlin
venereal disease
Bovril
junior wine buffs
Agamemnon A Serious Man
culinary innovation in Streatham
Simon Armitage the wrath of Kate Winslet
and
Dr Cilla Black.
In addition: Olly demonstrates why he should never be made editor of the Oxford Etymological Dictionary; Helen spots the hidden messages to the Russians in sweetie adverts; and Martin the Sound Man does NOT want to have sex with you in a toilet. Not even if you ask really nicely. We also hear about one of our listener’s friendship dealbreakers – if you have one of your own, share it in a comment below. Because we all enjoy other people bitching about their dear friends, don’t we?
Please send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. And we hope you’re thoroughly enjoying your free Audible audiobooks; if you haven’t already got yours, skedaddle to our Audible page and sign thyself up.
Welcome, listeners, to the first Answer Me This! of 2010:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In which we speak of:
the Next sales Sherlock Holmes
sweetbreads
condominiums
the son of Sam
Golden Wonder
Stanley Kubrick
the Queen’s Speech
Scotch woodcock
Johnny Carson
snake lungs
Anne Frank
and
the best public lavatories in Balham.
Furthermore: Olly manages to draw comparison between Lolita and Match of the Day; Helen manages to draw comparison between estate agents and kidnapped children; and Martin the Sound Man manages to draw comparison between a suitable Christmas present for his girlfriend and a DVD boxset about serial killers. Let’s hope he didn’t buy it for research purposes.
We’ve a list of chores for you to do this week:
1) click here to get yourself a free Audible audiobook;
2) share your neuroses, like shark-fearing questioneer Bunty did, in a comment on this post;
3) decide for the world whether humans are red meat or white meat by voting in this poll
4) if you’re still steaming about Walkers Crisps’ packet colours (and frankly, we aren’t), sign the petition;
5) listen to Martin the Sound Man’s latest music podcast;
6) and, of course, send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.
So, after you’ve done all those, we’ll see you next week for Episode 122!
This week Andrew asked what sort of chairs we sit on to do the podcast. Well, see above. Then click below for what happened when we sat on them to make Answer Me This! Episode 120:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In which we speak of:
living rooms vs. front rooms
the voice of Jennifer Jason Leigh
the Flying Pickets
Rihanna
John Spilsbury
‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’
the Regent Street Lights, sponsored by A Christmas Carol
child brides
old man attire
and
Hamburg Port.
Plus: Olly defends the Citroen Pluriel against accusations of shitness; Helen decodes the Roman Catholics; and Martin the Sound Man preaches armchair socialism from a chair without arms. To make up for it, he has a new EP for all you chaps to download absolutely free – visit his Sound of the Ladies website for the complimentary goods.
Then, before you settle into your straw-lined cardboard box for three months’ hibernation, send us YOUR QUESTIONS, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.
See you next week, for the Best of Answer Me This! 2009 Part 1!
***WARNING: This episode contains spoilers
about the 1994 Coen brothers film The Hudsucker Proxy***
Undaunted? Then by all means listen on, but don’t complain to us when you get to the 19th minute and discover that 15-year-old plot twist:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
This week we bang on about:
Philip Larkin’s debut novel
the three second rule
Tom of Finland
Sir Patrick Mayhew
Jason and the Argonauts
Lorraine Kelly, record-breaker
Stephen Fry’s Paperweight
Sir Menzies Campbell
Rick Witter
the Milton Keynes Snow Dome
Vince McMahon
Porthos
urethral openings
raw chicken Brewster’s Millions
and
travelators.
Also: how Olly breaks wind stealthily; how Helen’s congenital squint ruined Up for her; and how bananas work, according to Martin the Sound Man. You’d been wondering for years what secrets those little bastards were concealing, hadn’t you?
As ever we’re greedy for YOUR QUESTIONS, so ask ask ask via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. We’re very grateful to all of you who shared your stupid nicknames last week – which everyone else can enjoy here; this week, you have the easy task of leaving a comment with your answer to Jorge from Mexico’s question, telling us what you would like to do for one day and one day only. Nothing too blue, please; the shock could kill us.
Also, if you are planning on doing any pre-Christmas Amazon orders, would you be a tremendous dear and log onto their site via this link first? Your Amazonian shopping experience will be 100% the same; however we will then get approx. £0.0000001, which we can put towards a new microphone, or the high-class courtesan we’ve been saving up for. Much obliged to you.
Look, we know that ALL of you are in too great a tizzy about the impending release of the new Twilight film to concentrate on Answer Me This! Episode 118, but try. Just for us. Even though we’re not all sparkly and bouffant:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
This week we speak of:
Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
Smeg fridges
the True Blood theme tune
Helen’s dad vs. Peter Pan
the colour of Jesus Lois Duncan
stupid terrorists
Dermot O’Leary Red Dwarf
and
fun things to do in Birmingham (UK, not Alabama).
Additionally, Olly dreams of walking through a sewer with Dan Ackroyd and a Ninja Turtle; Helen swoons over a Come Dine With Me contestant who seems to have OCD and too few hobbies; and Martin the Sound Man brings up The Master and Margarita as casually as Helen’s baby nephew brings up his lunch. Just in case you were wondering, he is THE CLEVEREST MAN IN THE WORLD. Try to forget it. He won’t let you.
Please, as ever, send in YOUR QUESTIONS – via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877 – and if you want to tell us about your funny or far-fetched nickname like Smeg did this week, please do so in a comment upon this post. But it has to be a good one, OK? “My name’s David but my friends call me Dave” will not cut it! You’re competing against an adult man named Smeg, remember.
At the time of writing, two urban foxes are noisily copulating outside AMT Towers. It really is the most unheavenly sound. Hopefully Answer Me This! Episode 117 is rather kinder to the ear:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Today we talk of:
the Ban The Bang campaign
book tokens
war memorials
Subway flouting ancient Jewish food laws
bananas The Shadow Of The Wind
FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL
Sir Walter Scott
coloured bow ties
poor nervy birds
and
pineapples up the arse.
Plus: Olly offends Andrew Lincoln but stands up for the meerkats; Helen exposes her brother’s audacious present-recycling tricks; and Martin the Sound Man tries out his common touch, but fails to convince. C-, Martin!
As ever, we want YOUR QUESTIONS via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877; and this week we would also like you to comment upon this post with your top tips for godparents (are you one? Do you have one? And aside from the obligatory birthday tenner, have you ever actually been deployed in active godparental service?). Alternatively, you can share stories of the worst present you have ever given, in an attempt to amuse us whilst assuaging the guilt that will NEVER LEAVE YOU. Win-win.
Oh dearie dear. Our coverage in Episode 115 of Reggie’s epilepsy dog/girlfriend dilemma seems to have resulted in a resolution – but not a happy one. You lot voted, while Reggie’s girlfriend voted with her feet. Commiserations, Reggie, although you’ve still got the cat to comfort you, eh?
Anyway, let’s hope that we don’t destroy any more relationships in Answer Me This! Episode 116:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Wherein we discuss:
Tesco Finest creamy fish pie
Hugh Laurie’s face trumpet our Helge Rubinstein campaign
Maidstone
Stingy Jack
things to do in Rye
Russell Howard vs. William Hague
salmonella
politicised Peter’s Friends
freestanding baths Bliss Magazine
Harry Potter
and
the world’s grossest bikini.
Plus: Olly has a novel method of keeping those trick-or-treaters away; Helen blurts out the Sensational Secret that her family revealed just 29 1/2 years ago; and Martin the Sound Man sets a challenge for the Olympic Committee. He’s got pluck, it’s true.
As well as sending us YOUR QUESTIONS – which you can do by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or voicemailing Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877 – this week we also want to hear your stories of your finest ancestors and your own best moments of fame. Dazzle us all by posting a comment below!
Contrary to what we said last week about releasing Episode 115 a day late, here we are, on Thursday, with Episode 115 ready to go! Don’t believe us? The evidence awaits your ears:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Paving this week’s boulevard of broken brains are such topics as:
Antoni Gaudí
Wembley stadium
pre-Photoshop trickery
ancient nail-varnish
Durham Cathedral
war games
the Crystal Palace Museum
Fabric vs. fabric
prostitution vs. rental contracts
and
Chapel Carter.
Plus: Olly gives his Top Tips for bloggers; Helen gives her Top Tips for staying awake at Coldplay concerts; and Martin the Sound Man pretends to know about football, confuses Brazil and Mexico, and generally undoes all the good work he’d put in to convincing us all that he’s clever.
As usual, we’re hungry for YOUR QUESTIONS, which you can email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave as a voicemail on Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877; but we also really need your help in determining what this week’s final questioneer Reggie should do about his epilepsy/girlfriend/cat/overpriced dog problem. Listen, then please vote:
We’re sure Reggie will appreciate it, and that his girlfriend probably won’t. But hey, democracy can’t please everyone all of the time.
What the Jazzy Jeff is going on with Answer Me This! Episode 114? It’s all full of SPORT! Bloody sport! Golf, boxing, Formula 1 AND the Cinnamon Challenge. We feel like traitors to our own podcast.
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Thankfully, there’s less jocktacular business too, such as:
scurvy (again)
bridge rolls Helge Rubinstein Napoleon Dynamite
Acton bowling alley Wanted Johnny Ball Reveals All
butter vs. Banoffee Pie
Sean Kingston vs. Sean Paul
D.H. Lawrence
James McAvoy
and
the band Clock.
Plus: Olly suggests Angelina Jolie is ‘a bloke with tits, really’ AND manages to compare Cheryl Cole to a golf ball; Helen hopes that Auntie Tarantula isn’t listening to this episode; and Martin the Sound Man breaks the embargo on talking about balls, earning him 14 hours on the naughty step. Will he never learn?
Unfortunately Episode 115 will be out one day late next week; but if you need something to tide you over Thursday, perhaps this tract upon the benefits of dimples to the trajectory of golf balls, this will help. (I’m sure you’ll understand why we kept it brief in the podcast – laminar flow diagrams don’t come across so well in audio.) And you can help tide us over with YOUR QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.
Don your special silly-specs, because now, in INCREDIBLE 3D and GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOUR, it’s Answer Me This! Episode 113:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Oh alright, it doesn’t look any different to our other episodes, but it definitely sounds different, for unlike all those other weeks, this week we’re talking about:
Veronica Mars
Sylvia Plath
musical chairs Almost Famous
Priscilla Presley
Shakespeare’s Globe
Sharon Osbourne vs. Robert Mugabe Time Out vs. the rest of the world
a ‘Janet Jackson-style mic’
Granny’s Garden
and
Rebecca Ritters.
Plus: Olly takes a trip down Memory Lane to the days of Lycos and Geocities; Helen proves to be not very ladylike in the bedroom; and Martin the Sound Man uses an expression that should probably get him put on some sort of register. We also reveal just how rock’n’roll we really are. Although I think you know already. More Horlicks than Hendrix, alas.
Now, like squirrels gathering a large supply of hazelnuts to get through the winter, we want to stuff a tree-trunk full of your QUESTIONS to see us right through to spring. So please email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.
And do chip in with your suggestions as to the best party games: leave a comment below, and in due course this blog post will become Party Central. Minus the Twiglets.
See you next week!
Helen and Olly
PS: A madly-skilled young lady disproves Olly’s statement that you can’t play a pop song on a ukulele without sounding like you’re taking the piss:
first? Your Amazonian shopping experience will be 100% the same; however we will then get approx. £0.0000001, which we can put towards a new microphone, or the high-class courtesan we’ve been saving up for. Much obliged to you.
Answer Me This! Podcast 