Posts Tagged ‘TV’
April 7, 2011
Dear listeners,
Here is Answer Me This! Episode 174. Cherish it. Savour it. For it is the penultimate episode before we take a holiday until May. Aw, quit blubbing, you’ll set us off as well…
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Today we consider:
Tony Blair’s fortune
fireman’s poles
Barbie cakes
pretty jellyfish
Home on Their Own
Chartwell
southpaw mathematicians vs. rhubarb
John Major vs. Rufus Hound
Paul O’Grady’s fake shed vs. John Wayne Gacy
This Morning‘s head-shrinker
Cluedo, the telly quiz adaptation
post-prime ministerial perks
Catalog Living
Britney’s derriere
and
the new face of Blue Harbour.
Plus: Olly shows the ladies a good time in Wood Green; Helen dusts off her good manners in order to tell you that your flies are undone; and Martin the Sound Man WAS NOT LOOKING AT ANYTHING IN HIS PRIVATE BROWSER, alright? This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (find it on iPhone or Android) tells how Olly beat the charity auction system, because even altruists love a bargain.
You’ll be needing noises to destroy the sweet sound of silence while we’re away, so go to answermethispodcast.com/audible to get yourself free and half-price audiobooks. And to send this series out in a blaze of glory, please delight us with your QUESTIONS for next week: leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. It’ll be something to remember you by on our vacation; like a knot in a hankie, a pressed flower in the pages of a Bible, or a repent-at-leisure tattoo of your face.
See you next week!
Helen & Olly
Tags:advertising, Alan Carr, aquarium, astronomy, Barbie, beauty products, board games, boobs, Britney Spears, Catherine Zeta Jones, celebrities, celebrity endorsements, clothes, Clue, Cluedo, cosmetics, decor, dolls, employment, endorsements, entomology, etymology, euphemisms, Fern Britton, finances, fish, fish tanks, French, fruit, games, Gordon Brown, Graham Norton, harebrained theories, home makeovers, IT, jellyfish, John Major, Labour, left-handedness, Leonardo DiCaprio, Margaret Thatcher, Marks & Spencer, marriage, masturbation, mathematics, maths, modelling, models, moisturiser, moon, MPs, Nigella Lawson, ointment, Paul O'Grady, pensions, politicians, politics, prawn, prime minister, product placement, rhubarb, Ricki Lake, sartoria, secrets, set dressing, sets, sinister, slang, technology, telly, tents, the moon, theories, This Morning, toiletries, Tony Blair, Tories, trousers, TV, Ulrika Jonsson, unemployment, Winston Churchill
Posted in PODCASTS | 13 Comments »
March 17, 2011
Dear Team AMT,
We hope you are all safe and sound wherever you are in the world, and that this year’s trend for End of Days-style disasters has left you unscathed. We can’t stave off the apocalypse, but we can offer you 29 minutes of distraction while you wait, in the form of Answer Me This! Episode 171:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
On today’s conversational dance-card are topics including:
Brian Wilson
broken teapots
Kafka
5ive vs. Jesus Lizard
Dorothy Wordsworth vs. Macaulay Culkin
William Wordsworth vs. Jade Goody
stupid shoe-shaped planters
fairy codmothers
Kate Middleton’s genetically modified footmen
Harold Wilson’s lying wife
Pandaemonium
Fifteen to One
Christ’s comeback tour
and
flesh-trampolining.
Plus: Olly suggests that Cinderella be a bit more nonconformist in her eveningwear style if she wants to make a splash in society; Helen’s green brogues make her an outcast in the Apple Store; and Martin the Sound Man’s dainty guts could bring in the win if any of us decided to go on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. Major Charles Ingram, eat your heartfart out!
Today’s Bit of Crap on the App is a discussion upon whether sentimental idiots like Olly should cook peas for their cats, or whether said beasts should learn to tough it out. You can get that app for iPhone or Android for mere pence; but remember, it costs nothing to send us your QUESTIONS, so squander a load of no-money by leaving voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. We may not be rich, but a wealth of questions is all the wealth we need. (Well, it isn’t, but that’s hardly your problem, is it? And as soon as we get our Playdate with the Stars agency off the ground, we’ll be rolling in the good stuff.)
See you next week!
Helen & Olly
Tags:apocalypse, bands, Blankety Blank, body, bottoms, Buddha, Bullseye, bums, Chess, Cinderella, closing down sales, crockery, Crystal Maze, DFS, Dorothy Wordsworth, Duke of Edinburgh, euphemisms, ex-military, fairy godmothers, fairy tales, fiction, footwear, frogs, Fun House, furniture, game shows, garden centres, gardening, genitalia, godparents, gynaecologists, gynaecology, hierarchy, horticulture, Houses of Parliament, HP Sauce, incest, Jade Goody, John Hannah, kings, kitchenware, Linus Roache, literature, Lizzie Roper, Macaulay Culkin, medical, mice, Michael Jackson, military, military operations, monarchy, music, names, ornaments, overstepping boundaries, physique, plants, poetry, politicians, pop, Prince Philip, princes, prizes, professionalism, quizzes, recession, retail, reunions, romantic poets, royalty, sales, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, sex, shoes, shops, siblings, Steps, stores, tea, teapots, Telford, telly, the Queen, TV, vagina, weddings, West Midlands, William Wordsworth, Wills'n'Kate
Posted in PODCASTS | 6 Comments »
March 10, 2011
Hello chums,
Round here, we thought there’s no way the opening ceremony of next year’s London Olympics could be anything but a damp squib. Given our Glorious Nation’s inherent shyness, we assumed we’d be lucky if the expected pageantry ascended such heights as the whole squad doing the David Brent dance, with commentary from Myleene Klass wearing a low-cut dress and speaking only in adjectives. But au contraire, we were much mistaken! Here, in Answer Me This! Episode 170, we discover what’s going to make the Olympics go with a bang:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Accompanying the episode, like a flock of primary schoolkids wearing national dress, are topics including:
Booze Britain
Ibiza Uncovered
Winston Churchill
coffee stirrers
Jaws
dog trends
Wiesbaden
Danger UXB
monkeys in clothes
fancy-dress football
the abandoned bomb register
Jonathan Creek’s downtime
illegal snoods
the other Martin Austwick
the real-life Miss Marple
dihydroxyacetone
and
the Maillard Reaction.
Plus: Olly is silenced by booze; Helen’s not going to be winning a car anytime soon; and Martin the Sound Man intimates that the dinosaurs might have survived, if only someone had bought them little pink coats with diamante on. Martin would also like you to know that his latest album is out today, which is sadly diamante-free but not without other compensations – download or buy a special edition physical copy here.
Today’s Bit of Crap on the App is the Deleted Scenes from our chat about amateur detectives. How does one get from the FBI to Paul Ross in five easy steps? Find out for yourself on iPhone or Android.
We be wanting your QUESTIONS for next week, so send them as voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And you know what else is next week? Red Nose Day! So if you fancy a bit of pain-free fundraising (ie no climbing mountains or digging latrines or songs involving Bob Geldof), please come along to Literary Death Match on Friday 18th March, in which Helen joins Spaced alumna Jessica StevensonHynes to judge the bookish equivalent of sumo wrestling.
Helen & Olly
Tags:Agatha Christie, alcohol, Amanda Lamb, amateur detectives, animal clothing, animals, aquatic life, army, Barack Obama, bombs, booze, cars, Churchill, Cliff Richard, clothing, coffee, coffee machines, crime, Crystal Palace, Dave Gorman, David Beckham, David Bowie, detectives, dogs, drinking, emoticons, excrement, explosives, fake tan, FBI, fish, football, genitals, Germany, Graham Norton, Hitchen, Ibiza, implements, inebriation, investigation, Iraq, ITV, Jessica Fletcher, Jonathan Creek, London, London 2012, London Olympics, Luftwaffe, Madame Tussauds, marine life, military, Miriam Margolyes, Miss Marple, missions, MoD, murder, Murder She Wrote, Nazis, office politics, ointment, Olly's fake tan, Olympic Stadium, Olympics, Paul Ross, pets, Poirot, poo, prizes, San Francisco, scat, Scotland, sharks, Sharon Marshall, Sherlock, shopping malls, sister cities, skin, sleuth, sports, stupid stupid stupid, tanning, telly, the Blitz, the FA, tights, towns, Tunbridge Wells, TV, twin towns, underwear, unexploded bombs, wangs, waxworks, weapons, Winston Churchill, WWI, WWII
Posted in PODCASTS | 2 Comments »
February 10, 2011
Dear podcast-listeners,
There have been three times in his life where Olly Mann couldn’t speak French, so he let the funky music do the talking: 1) his GCSE French oral exam, which is why he received a D grade; 2) one mad, hot night at the Bruni-Sarkozy holiday bungalow; and 3) in Answer Me This! Episode 166:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
En Anglais, we talk of:
Blu-Tack sunblock
J.Lo’s nipple tweaker
the tragic end of Bobby in Home and Away
Bernard of Chartres
John Scurlock
Pyramus and Thisbe
Oasis
the Tower of London
James Bond: babyfather
the oldest underwater foot-tunnel (with some qualification)
disgruntled Beefeaters
Pretty Woman, Kate Middleton-style
bouncy bungalows
bouncy Roulette
Mike Flowers Pops
the Sea Life Centre vs. the Chunnel
sexy salad servers
Coventry
and
Teri Hatcher.
Plus: mainstream Olly prefers vaginas when a baby isn’t being shunted out of them; Helen discovers her new favourite TV channel; and Martin the Sound Man claims that when his dad said he was just “off to the glory hole”, there was a perfectly innocent explanation. Keep drinking the kool-aid, Martin!
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone or Android, yessir) is a question from Gareth about what’s the oldest thing still in use today. My dad’s underpants. HA. (Seriously: 40+ years’ service and still going strong.)
Please keep bombarding us with your QUESTIONS, by leaving us a voicemail on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or sending us an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
See you next Thursday!
Helen & Olly
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Tags:007, 1990s, 90s, Aardman animation, £2, babies, blowies, Blu-Tack, boobs, boring equipment, bouncing, bouncy castles, bra, bras, bridges, cats, Channel Tunnel, children, children's telly, coins, conception, condoms, construction, crown jewels, crowns, currency, Europe, Eurotunnel, ex-military, fellatio, films, frames, France, French, Friends, fun, games, glass-blowing, glory holes, Halle Berry, history, homosexuality, insanity, irony, J.Lo, James Bond, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, jewellery, jewels, Kate Middleton, kids, La Manche, ladies' undergarments, lingerie, London, M&S, Midlands, military, mining, Mitterand, monarchy, money, nipples, Noel Gallagher, Oliver Cromwell, olives, Olly's cat, parties, people who like animals more than people, perversion, pets, Pretty Woman, Prince Charles, Prince William, Princess Diana, prisons, procreation, rabies, rates, rats, Robert Hooke, Roulette, royalty, safe sex, scuba-builders, sex, Sir Isaac Newton, soap operas, stationery, STDs, sterling, STIs, stoners, students, technology, telly, Tellytubbies, Thatcher, the Beatles, the Channel, the Queen, the ring of death, tourist attractions, Tower of London, tunnelling, TV, undergarments, underwater, underwear, unsafe sex, video, wifi, Wills'n'Kate, wood
Posted in PODCASTS | 15 Comments »
April 22, 2010
Rejoice, listeners, for in Answer Me This! Episode 132, your prayers have at last been answered! Well, some of the prayers of some of you, specifically those asking if we could get Andy Zaltzman onto the show. Any other prayers will continue to be in vain, unless we’re backing the wrong horse atheism-wise.
Anyway. It took a lot of form-filling, tear-drenched phone-calls to his agent, and complaining to Mum; but here Andy is:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Inevitably, whenever and wherever Andy speaks, he speaks of sport. But we also manage to shoehorn in:
Wine Gums
Gordon Brown
Denise Van Outen
cricket vs. blogging
Andy vs. Liverpool
curry vs. Martin the Sound Man
surveyors vs. honesty
football hooligans vs. Johannesburg
Beth Ditto
Kim Jong-Il
the Sistine Chapel
pebbledash
and
the real problem with George W Bush.
Plus: Olly decries the cuisine of Spain; Helen tells you how best to decide your vote in the forthcoming election; Martin the Sound Man lines up a new band name for when in-fighting rends The Sound of the Ladies apart; and Andy comes up with an all-too-literal means of how to ask for a lady’s hand in marriage. His wife’s knitting career was brought to an abrupt end when he plighted his troth.
If you want a bit more of Andy in your life, then you can: go to see him do stand-up; listen to his podcast The Bugle, co-starring John Oliver; read his cricket blog; and buy his book. Or you could try marrying in to the Zaltzman family, but almost all vacancies have been filled.
The AMT service returns to normal next week, so please send in your QUESTIONS for the usual treatment – email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. No sport, we beg of you. This episode contained more than the entirety of the rest of our lives combined.
See you next Thursday!
Helen and Olly
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Tags:2 girls 1 cup, Andy Zaltzman, art, bowels, childhood, confectionery, constitution, cricket, decor, family, fathers, food, football, George W Bush, humour, hypocrisy, John Oliver, lies, Michelangelo, monarchy, politics, Queen, relationships, Richard Pryor, royalty, rugby, satire, school, siblings, solemnity, South Africa, sport, The Big Breakfast, The Bugle, TV, US politics, World Cup, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS, special guest episode | 6 Comments »
Answer Me This! Podcast 