Posts Tagged ‘public transport’

EPISODE 312: phonemes gone wild

April 16, 2015

Steel yourself, because you’ll never look at highlighter pen(i)s in the same way again after you hear Answer Me This! Episode 312:

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Today we learn about:

working in Antarctica
Jews for Jesus
props in the House of Commons
Thomas Jefferson’s ice cream recipe
gold toilet paper
despatch boxes
Queen Elizabeth Land
not looking dodgy at night
House of Cards
Adolf Hitler, Bible-bomber
yogurt vs yoghurt vs yoghourt
the Guardian Style Guide
and
Quiztina Aguilera.

Plus: Olly’s pub quiz victory strategy is ruined by cocks; Helen would rather swear on the dictionary than the Bible; and Martin the Sound Man is vanilla-blind. Quick, throw a benefit gala for him!

There’s bonus Jews for Jesus jazz in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App, available for iThings, Android and Windows gadgets.

Be a dear and send us your questions: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And be our online pal at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘.

We’ll return on 30th April 2015 with AMT313, please return too!

Helen & Olly

••• AMT312 Child-Friendly Rating: 21%. Martin the Sound Man deploys the word ‘cunty’ in the first couple of minutes, but in protest at poor provision of services for the visually impaired, which is a cause your children ought to support. Shortly followed by a discussion of crude cock’n’balls drawings, with which the average child will already be more than familiar. Question about penis size at the end of the show. While the content is clean in between the penis references at either end of the show, there are a few swears sprinkled throughout. In sum: not an episode to enjoy on the school run.•••

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EPISODE 311: mermaid with a crotch

April 2, 2015

Good news! Well, good news for Olly and everyone worried that his nocturnal job was causing him to collapse in on himself like a dying star: he’s got a new job on LBC, presenting a show 8-10pm Fridays and 6.30-10pm Saturdays. The first one is tomorrow, so tune in! Meantime, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 311:

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Therein:

the Queen of Starbucks (scroll down to the bottom of the post for the NSFW original Starbucks logo)
the Hollywood Walk of Fame (apply here for a star)
a bowling alley in your home
the dangers of being a stock photo
the other Michael Jackson
the other Harrison Ford
the real struggle in Moby-Dick
Buddha vs Budai
Night Nurse vs Night Nurse
lazy Barbra Streisand
critiquing your dick pics (link extremely NSFW)
and
the first known waterbed.

Plus: Olly would rather that rats do not accompany his sexytimes; Helen is still laughing about the typo on her grandmother’s gravestone; and and Martin the Sound Man enjoys his own parallel version of AMT.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows gadgets) we realise why it’s probably for the best that we don’t have a spare £200,000 to install a home bowling alley. Just imagine the bloodshed…

Shed no blood, but shed your QUESTIONS, by leaving voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can befriend us online facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly to deliver us your verdict on today’s episode.

We’ll return on 16nd April 2015 with AMT312, joiiiiiiin ussssssssss,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT311 Child-Friendly Rating: 40%. Strong swear word very near the beginning. 10 minutes in, there’s a question about nudie photos that you may wish your younglings to avoid. But after that, it’s pretty safe. If you start listening around 15 minutes in, it’d be at least 80% child friendly. •••

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EPISODE 182 – moderate liberalism

July 7, 2011

This week we, like you and every other breathing humanoid on this planet and the next, are transfixed by Wills’n’Kate’s working holiday in Canada. WHOSE HAND WILL THEY SHAKE NEXT? The suspense! Yet somehow we have torn ourselves away from the 24-hour royalwatch Jumbotron long enough to bring you Answer Me This! Episode 182:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

On our tour of topics, we respectfully nod at the following:

literal popcorn entertainment
Latin puns
orgiastic decor
the Leaning Tower of Pisa vs. the Windsor Crooked House
Jaws vs. Jurassic Park
Frank Gehry
top-down social change
moviedeaths.com
careless fingering
pocket fraud
and
Wetherspoons trainer snobs.

Plus: Olly doesn’t care what he looks like from behind, so hairdressers, let your imaginations run riot; Helen feels the full benefit of Olly’s wonderful manners; and Martin the Sound Man tells you how to customise your underpants for free. This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone or Android) is a treatise on why James Cameron’s forthcoming Titanic 3D must be stopped, and not just because nobody needs to see “I’m the king of the wooooooorld!” any more vividly realised.

We’re keen to collect as many QUESTIONS as Queen Middleton has bouquets from Canadian children – and to present them to us, you don’t even need to line the streets waving! You merely need to leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. But by all means imagine us clutching the questions affectionately to our bosoms, asking you a polite question about your charitable works, then moving on to the next prole.

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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Storytime!

April 22, 2009

** Click here for Episode 91 **

Here’s a charming story from James, entitled ‘My Friend Recently Shit Himself’. Can you guess how it’s going to go? Well done, you are correct:

Yes it was quite an epic tale, cram packed with adventure, tension and embarrassment.

The story began on Saturday morning when we were having a bite to eat before catching the train to Sheffield from Grimsby. My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, claimed to be feeling ill about halfway through the journey. When we arrived he insisted (in a rather flustered manner) that we find the nearest toilet which at the time happened to be a McDonalds, so off we went. He ran in barging people out of the way (we followed closely behind to see what hilarities would unfold) and just as he was going into the toilet he shat himself.

But the worst thing about this is what he did to ‘solve’ the situation, he started by frantically wiping his pants and arse with toilet paper until they were as clean as they could possibly be at that time…………not very clean. He then put them back on inside out and continued his activities for the rest of the day.

I found this odd/sickening and was wondering what would you do in a situation like that?

To be frank, we found it pretty odd/sickening as well; therefore, as we’ve just had our lunch and are reluctant to throw it all up, we thought we’d open the question out to you instead. So please comment below and answer us this: what is a failsafe means of rescuing yourself should you wind up in a similar situation?

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