Answer Me This! Episode 308 is a surprisingly jobs-themed episode, with questions about whether your tertiary education should prepare you for one, to how your hair can affect your ability to get one, to what you do when you lose one.
On today’s roster are such topics as:
cat-cleaning
pink hair
green hair
vocations
FDR’s hot dog banquet Bill Clinton’s night out with the lads
redundancy
sleeping naked
fainting at Elvis
and
throwing knickers at Tom Jones.
Plus: a typo made Olly a lot more popular in 90s chatrooms; if you’ve been made redundant, join Helen at the Daytime Cinema Club; and Martin the Sound Man manages to make a big pile of underwear sound like the grossest, most unappealing, least sexy thing possible.
In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – which you can get for your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets – we continue to contemplate the question about how our nightwear-averse questioneer could dress for slumber. There must be a compromise between a tutu and a full suit of armour.
Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Which you should, to demonstrate your devotion to this podcast.
Since we are devoted to providing you with this podcast, we’ll return on 5th March 2015 with AMT309.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT308 Child-Friendly Rating: 64%. A few swears, though the strongest are right at the end, so you could cut out before then. Very mild bawdiness in the question about naked sleeping, but nothing that would startle a nun. •••
MESSAGE FROM THE MOTHERSHIP:
If you downloaded AMT285 very soon after it was released, you may have ended up with a version that is rather longer or considerably shorter than the correct AMT285-length of 42 minutes 45 seconds. If so, please delete it and obtain the proper one, as linked to below. Thanks! HZ
In response to AMT284, the first few minutes of Answer Me This! Episode 285 are SO exciting, you should listen RIGHT NOW:
But do carry on listening beyond the first few minutes, to hear about:
‘Torn‘ by Natalie Imbruglia vs ‘Torn‘ by Ednaswap Randy Newman vs Tom Jones
the Recycle Bin vs Trash
rawl plugs vs wall plugs
Lizzy Yarnold
Magic FM
saloon doors
Mini Babybel
‘Hazard‘ by Richard Marx
the face of fistula
and
magnolia paint.
Plus, there’s a manliness contest between Olly and Martin the Sound Man. Which of these opposite-of-Titans is the least masculine? It’s a VERY close contest. Like a boxing match between a wet lettuce leaf and a fluffy sock.
There’s double Crap on the App this week, as Olly chooses chateaubriand over speakeasies (whither the gastrospeakeasy?), then says gardening’s for girls, even though he’s got a grow-your-own Alan Titchmarsh. Fire up the app on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgetry.
Also fire up Squarespace.com, who have not only given us money to make this episode but are also giving YOU a 10% discount off their services for a whole year if you use the code answer3.
Back in a fortnight!
Helen & Olly
AMT285 Child-Friendly Rating: 52%. The topics aren’t unsuitable, but two f-bombs are detonated in the first ten minutes. Miscellanous other swears appear towards the end, when discussing the vile names Martin the Sound Man gives to computer things. So blame Martin for the defilement of your children if they hear this episode.
Happy new year, listeners! Behold the first podcast of 2013, Answer Me This! Episode 241:
Today we talk of:
Paul Merton
manatee poo
summer lovin’
Jools Holland’s personal Portmeirion
gingerbread houses vs. Grand Designs
the Brand New Heavies
birth days
car calorie counting Tweet
Kate Middleton’s trendsetting womb
Tulisa’s titillating tape
Anne Hathaway’s minge
New Year’s purges
and
timberrrrrrrrr!
Plus: Olly is a bit disappointed by a big fake clock; Helen does not want your gifts, nor does she deserve them; and Martin the Sound Man sets Jay Kay a parsimonious budget so that he can stretch his acid jazz fortune a little further without skimping on treats.
Further to our royal foetus discussion, in this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we deliberate over which royal we’d choose to have a baby with – because if and when that opportunity rises, you do want to have given it proper consideration beforehand. Otherwise you might end up co-parenting with Prince Michael of Kent. Nobody wants that.
What we DO want are QUESTIONS for the new year. Email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.
Hey guys! Remember when we…? And that time when…? And that thing where…? Ah, good times. So many good times! Please join us in reliving half of them in The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part I:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In which we reacquaint ourselves with such beloved old friends as:
The Elves and the Shoemaker
Fabio and Fabio
Hong King Disney
nurse fantasies
the Elgin Marbles
PATP
the seawater cure
Will.I.Am’s nursery rhymes
Pink Lady apples
sexy snowgirls
mad neighbours
bloody Big Bird and dead Kes
Helen’s childhood crush on Inspector Morse
Olly’s kidney
and
Martin the Sound Man’s blue girlfriend.
Plus: drunk callers! Parping! D*ve from Sm*thw*ck!!! And if you enjoyed the assemblage of previously unheard material, ie the blooper reel, you can hear more of that sort of thing every week if you obtain the AMT app for your iDevices and Android.
Join us again next Thursday for the second half of our annual retrospective, and do also supply us with QUESTIONS for AMT 2013. Email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.
Although we’ve come
To the end of the road current series,
Still we can’t let go – because we’ll be back on 19th April with yet more Answer Me This!. So long and adieu, here is Episode 210:
Today we ponder:
the Angel of the North Pet Sounds
sham marriage a different type of big bird Tom Jones
Mel Blanc
emotions vs. money
Matt Willis vs. televisions
Alice Cooper vs. vending machines
Jesus vs. Spongebob Squarepants
Father Christmas on film
Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth
and
Abraham Lincoln.
Plus: we learn the one place where Olly actually keeps quiet; Helen whips ’em out for SPRIIIIIINNNG BREEEEAAAK!; and Martin the Sound Man puts a price on his hand in marriage. But you might as well barter him down to something more realistic, like £20 and a Chocolate Orange.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) is a question from Celeste from Elephant and Castle about whether you can sell your house without the intervention of an estate agent. Of course you can! But, before you ask, you are probably better off not performing your own laser eye surgery.
There is more to listen to during our absence, because by royal appointment (not really) we’ve released the Answer Me This! Jubilee, a 57-minute romp through the massive numbers of questions you lot send us about Her Maj and the like. Click here to get it.
Don’t forget us while we’re away: keep sending your QUESTIONS, as voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) and emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
After last week’s episode, Shiro wrote in to say: “Helen mentioned she had a child. I was wondering if I heard right and if i did, answer me this: what does she do with the child when you’re recording the podcast?”
Well, Shiro, in fact I keep the baby locked in a safe do not have a child, which is why you won’t hear any mysterious crying or wailing in the background of Episode 94:
[ This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
What you will hear is chitchat about:
SARS Rushmore
Geri Halliwell
dachshunds
Susan Boyle – the book?
greens
slime flu Top Chef
seminiferous tubules
Malcolm X vs Miley Cyrus
duct tape (translation: gaffer tape) Dexter
and
Matthew Pinsent’s second arse.
Plus: how Olly was the saddest rock star at his school; how Helen anthropomorphised her spacehopper; and how Martin the Sound Man is incapable of innuendo. He is always straight to the disgusting point.
Comment away below if you want to join in on Chris from Bolton’s question about interesting/expensive/different things you have held in your hands; and of course, keep your QUESTIONS coming in by calling 0208 123 5877, Skypeing answermethis or emailing us at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
And if, like us, you needed a little pick-me-up this week, there’s this non-lamented gem from the grim wastes of the 1990s:
RT @DavidB1996: I love that in this week’s retro episode of @HelenAndOlly from 2015, it was said that Twitter is good at sticking to and fo… 2 days ago
RT @OllyMann: 5 years ago, we released an episode of @HelenandOlly that spontaneously resulted in multiple unconnected listeners sending us… 3 days ago
RT @OllyMann: There are times in the news cycle when maybe what you really need to hear is two people chatting about pastry and old novels.… 2 weeks ago
