Posts Tagged ‘surprises’

EPISODE 368: audio wank

December 10, 2018

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After much speculation about the owners of the legs in The Bill in AMT366, and then MORE speculation in AMT367, in Answer Me This! Episode 368 we can at last consider the mystery SOLVED! As solved as if Hercule Poirot himself had gathered us all in the drawing room and explained every detail from knee to sole for twenty minutes. What a capper to 2018!

We also discuss:

The Velvet Underground’s ‘The Gift
Zwarte Piet
fun with PVA glue
tweens
DVD gifts vs Blu-ray gifts
impersonal Christmas cards
St Nicholas’s sidekicks
department store Santas
Christmas in Wonderland
The Christmas Chronicles
Home Alone 2
Joseph ‘n’ Mary
and
slime.

Also, Martin wonders about the existence of a Lou Reed Christmas song. Does ‘Xmas in February‘ count? It’s more of a namecheck of festivity than festive itself.

In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – there are two kinds of fake eggs: Kinder, and aquafaba (as seen in the most recent series of GBBO). You’ve never heard someone so excited about vegan egg replacements as Martin here.

Check in with our other work: Helen makes the entertainment show about language The Allusionist; Olly hosts the magazine show The Modern Mann; and Martin the Sound Man examines the entire Tom Waits discography on Song By Song.

Thanks to today’s sponsors:
Squarespace makes it easy to set up a good-looking website for your projects. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.
Haynes publishing is running a Secret Santa deal on its books: get Bluffer’s Guides on a multitude of subjects or the parody Haynes Explains books for £5 each at haynes.com/santa

We’ll return in the new year with new episodes, so send us your QUESTIONS: any time, deliver a voice memo or a written question by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT369 on 3 January, and there’ll be a Retro AMT Best Of episode in your feeds on 20 December.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT368 Child-Friendly Rating: 47%. Several swears. Discussion of infidelity. Demystification of Santa. •••

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Krakow kounterplan

October 28, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT325

Jules writes with some sweet advice for AMT325‘s Steve, who had inadvertently rumbled his wife’s birthday surprise for him of a trip to Krakow. We suggested that the least bad move would be for Steve to pretend he didn’t know. Jules advises:

So she doesn’t feel bad about him knowing, he should not tell her now – but he should learn basic phrases in Polish so when they arrive he can surprise her back!

“The cookies gave the location away when I saw the ad for Polish Rosetta Stone – I thought that was my birthday gift.” 😉

Then something positive can come out of him knowing in advance.

That’s nice-double-crossing on a level with a Richard Curtis film.* Have any of the rest of you transformed a rumbled surprise into a BONUS SURPRISE?

*Specifically Serena in Four Weddings and a Funeral learning sign language then getting invited to another wedding, just to woo Hugh Grant’s brother. So creepy romantic!

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EPISODE 325: Human Endurance Range Extender

October 15, 2015

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Today’s questioneers face ruin: browser history ruining a surprise; other people ruining the choice of baby names; and ruining your own chances of shagging a houseguest. Don’t ruin your own life by failing to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 325, in which we also discuss:

circus music
baby names
the Stocks app
Apple Maps vs Google Maps
James Cameron vs bladder control
Martin’s eggy Instagram
deep sea submersibles
Greenpeace up the Shard
sleeping arrangements
and
Tom from MySpace.

Plus: Olly would like you to listen to him present the Guardian’s Tech Weekly and The Media Podcast; Helen is currently releasing new doses of The Allusionist EVERY WEEK; and Tom Waits fans should sprint to hear Martin the Sound Man’s Song By Song podcast (and there’s a Heart Of Saturday Night listening party in the heart of this coming Saturday night, or at least evening, so do join).

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iThings, Android and Windows devices – we reveal the moral cesspit at the heart of that classic Martin Clunes film Staggered.

Open your moral cesspit hearts to us by sending us your questions! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and deliver your emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 29th October 2015 with AMT326.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT325 Child-Friendly Rating: 44%. Quite a lot of swears, sorry. Vaguely sexual question at the end. •••

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anniversary bee tease

October 21, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT275

Readers, go to the comments and offer your answers to this riddle from Tara:

I’ve been with my lovely boyfriend for 11 months now. At the weekend, we began to talk about what to do for our one year anniversary (particularly special as neither of us has reached this milestone before).

We talked about re-living our first date; going to the same place to eat then out for cocktails then, being the classy individuals we are, fucking in a park.

But then the conversation turned to presents. He said he knew what he was going to get me. Being a nosy girl, I asked for clues and he came up with one, extremely cryptic pointer:

“Michael Jackson meets bees”…

So, answer me this: what could this mean?! I’m so confused! I can’t think of two things that could be less related! Or that I’m less interested in…

Famous plastic surgery plus stinging…I think I’ve got it! Your boyfriend is getting you a faceful of Botox. Happy anniversary!

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EPISODE 223 – Adele is the new Def Leppard

July 12, 2012

Happy wedding anniversary, Henry VIII! Verily on this day in 1543, he married Catherine Parr, and as they say, sixth time’s the charm. According to the Big Book of Weddings, the traditional gift for the 469th anniversary is ‘MP3’, so here’s Answer Me This! Episode 223 for you, you loved-up kids:

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Today we contemplate:

speciation
bloody Mary
pub lighting
Def Leppard videos vs. Duran Duran videos
Bieber vs. dopamine
pride vs. prizes
curry house atmosphere
crisp etiquette (US translation: potato chip etiquette)
farm-themed restaurants
sepulchral Hollister
and
that bitch Tinkerbell.

Plus: Olly is mistaken for someone even lower on the celebrity ladder than he is; Helen breaks the bad news that Cain and Abel were motherjeffers; and Martin the Sound Man has something in common with the Queen, other than his fondness for shiny jewels and waving.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available on iDevices and Android) demonstrates how Martin paid a woman to write his name on her body. For ‘charity fundraising’, allegedly. Good ruse!

Another good ruse is to send us your QUESTIONS by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leaving voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis). More questions, more podcasts, see?

And don’t forget to click here to check out our latest album, the Answer Me This! Sports Day – the best 59 minutes and 33 seconds of all-new sporty-talk we have ever produced.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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