Your mother’s been given some free space cake but she doesn’t want to fail her workplace’s random drug tests. What should she do? In Answer Me This! Episode 338, we tackle this question as well as such issues as:
Plus: Olly’s interest in sport is exhausted for another four years; Helen would rather be left with a yolk than an eggwhite; and Martin the Sound Man’s feet are irresistible to Harvey Mann. Another Fergie-style scandal in the making?
If, like Harvey, you can’t get enough of Martin the Sound Man, get our app – available on iThings, Android and Windows devices – because today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is the tale of Martin’s recent triumphant mission to Coinstar. Guess how much! Go on, guess!
We hope you enjoyed the Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part I last week. If you did, you’ll also enjoy The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II, and if you didn’t, maybe you’ll prefer The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II. Either way, you should listen to The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Wherein we meet again our auld acquaintances:
Phantom of the Opera
Hamlet Hamlet
Prince Philip’s bladder Killer Net
Angela Lansbury fantasies
R Kelly’s fancy parties
the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution
Devon vs Cornwall scone wars
sex Jenga
the Owl and the Pussycat
the 21st-century Sweeney Todd
Olly’s solo sex tape
Helen taking an off-brand fruit into the Apple store
and
Charlie’s Angles.
And there are more previously unheard bits of AMT, which you can have more of every week if you posess the AMT App, available for iDevices and Android – on which you also get our Best Of episodes from the past five years, if you trawl through diligently enough.
Please be generous with your QUESTIONS for AMT in 2013: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.
We’ll be back on 10th January 2013, but you can still hear plenty of us before then:
• We’ll be running through the year’s biggest online events on Saturday Edition, BBC 5 Live 8pm 29th December or available shortly after as the Let’s Talk About Tech podcast.
• Olly will be Manning the microphone on LBC 97.3 FM, 1-4am most nights from Xmas Eve to Jan 3rd – check lbc.co.uk for the schedule, and rouse yourself from your festive stupor to give him a call and keep him company.
• Helen will crop up on BBC 5 Live’s Radio Review of 2012, hosted by Jane Garvey and Mike Sweeney, which will be broadcast on at 11pm on Christmas Eve, repeated 4pm on Christmas Day, or, if you want to listen at a more sensible time, it’ll be available on the 5 Live website straight after.
• You can hear us discussing Christmas gadgets and songs on Steve Wright in the Afternoon on BBC Radio 2 on 20th December. UPDATE: Here’s the link to the item on iPlayer.
• And we wrote some bits for the Celebrity Juice Christmas Specials; part one is already on ITV Player and part two will follow on tonight.
We hope you have very happy festivities, and we’ll see you next year!
Helen & Olly
PS if you need more noise to drown out the sound of sleighbells and Wizzard, direct yourself to our Jubilee and Sports Day albums, as well as AMT1-120.
Happy wedding anniversary, Henry VIII! Verily on this day in 1543, he married Catherine Parr, and as they say, sixth time’s the charm. According to the Big Book of Weddings, the traditional gift for the 469th anniversary is ‘MP3’, so here’s Answer Me This! Episode 223 for you, you loved-up kids:
Today we contemplate:
speciation
bloody Mary
pub lighting Def Leppard videos vs. Duran Duran videos
Bieber vs. dopamine
pride vs. prizes
curry house atmosphere
crisp etiquette (US translation: potato chip etiquette)
farm-themed restaurants
sepulchral Hollister
and
that bitch Tinkerbell.
Plus: Olly is mistaken for someone even lower on the celebrity ladder than he is; Helen breaks the bad news that Cain and Abel were motherjeffers; and Martin the Sound Man has something in common with the Queen, other than his fondness for shiny jewels and waving.
This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available on iDevices and Android) demonstrates how Martin paid a woman to write his name on her body. For ‘charity fundraising’, allegedly. Good ruse!
Another good ruse is to send us your QUESTIONS by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leaving voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis). More questions, more podcasts, see?
And don’t forget to click here to check out our latest album, the Answer Me This! Sports Day – the best 59 minutes and 33 seconds of all-new sporty-talk we have ever produced.
A lot of artists suffer from Difficult Second Album syndrome, but not us. Following our Top 20 smash hit longplayer The Answer Me This! Jubilee, we are delighted to bring you…
The Answer Me This! Sports Day
59 minutes and 33 seconds of all-new material in celebration of the glorious sporting event that will be wreaking havoc with London’s transport system this summer. Buy it now through the AMT Store, iTunes or Amazon.
Join us for a jog through such Olympian questions as what would happen if Boris Johnson dropped the torch, how you can become an Olympic competitor whilst remaining a lazy bastard, how the Ancient Greek athletes prevented their glistening nude flesh from getting sunburn, whether Danny Boyle’s opening ceremony is going to be like this, and why Jewish athletes might be buying haggis shortly before the competition.
We also learn why the men’s Wimbledon trophy is so fruity, how David Attenborough can be blamed for the popularity of snooker, what the chess queen has in common with the Alien queen, what Jack Broughton has in common with Alan Ayckbourn, and what bookies have in common with Abraham Lincoln.
We check in on such record breakers as James Cameron and Lee Redmond, and face the biggest sports question of all: what IS a sport? And do you actually have to get out of your chair to do one?
We must offer big thanks to Sam Pythagoras Pay and Amy Smith for the jingles, which alone are worth the £2.49 RRP. Eg:
NB The Answer Me This! Sports Day is in no way officially affiliated with the London Olympics. They looked at our waist measurements and said there’s no way they could endorse that.
RT @KatharineS93: Passed this in the car and now can’t stop singing it to the tune of ‘5 Star Hotel...’ much to the delight of my family al… 1 day ago
RT @HeladoDelFuego: @HelenAndOlly There is a great bible joke/pun. “Peter, the rock upon which I will found my church.” His name was Rock (… 3 days ago
RT @HelenAndOlly: #AMT377 has landed in your feeds! Today we deliver answers about whether there are jokes in the Bible, what to do when yo… 1 week ago
The Answer Me This! Sports Day
July 2, 2012A lot of artists suffer from Difficult Second Album syndrome, but not us. Following our Top 20 smash hit longplayer The Answer Me This! Jubilee, we are delighted to bring you…
The Answer Me This! Sports Day
59 minutes and 33 seconds of all-new material in celebration of the glorious sporting event that will be wreaking havoc with London’s transport system this summer. Buy it now through the AMT Store, iTunes or Amazon.
We also learn why the men’s Wimbledon trophy is so fruity, how David Attenborough can be blamed for the popularity of snooker, what the chess queen has in common with the Alien queen, what Jack Broughton has in common with Alan Ayckbourn, and what bookies have in common with Abraham Lincoln.
We check in on such record breakers as James Cameron and Lee Redmond, and face the biggest sports question of all: what IS a sport? And do you actually have to get out of your chair to do one?
We must offer big thanks to Sam Pythagoras Pay and Amy Smith for the jingles, which alone are worth the £2.49 RRP. Eg:
NB The Answer Me This! Sports Day is in no way officially affiliated with the London Olympics. They looked at our waist measurements and said there’s no way they could endorse that.
SUBSCRIBE WITH iTUNES • AMT ALBUMS • BEST OF • EPISODES • FAQ
• iPHONE APP • ANDROID APP • FACEBOOK • TWITTER • YOUTUBE • MERCH •
Tags:Abraham Lincoln, American football, Ancient Greece, aramith, aristocrats, athletes, athletics, ball games, ball sports, balls, banknotes, baseball, BBC, betting, billiards, Bjork, Blackburn Rovers, BMW, boardgames, bookies, bookmaking, Boris Johnson, Boudin Bakery, bow ties, bowling, bowling balls, boxing, boxing ring, Bristol Rovers, bruise, cameramen, cash, celluloid, ceremonies, charity shops, chess pieces, circumcision, clothes, Coca Cola, colour TV, commentary, commentators, corkscrew, costume, costumes, cricket, cricket jumpers, cricket whites, crickets, curling, Danny Boyle, David Attenborough, decor, depression, diet, diving, duck, Edinburgh, egg, elephants, enswell, equestrianism, erections, etymology, exercise, feminism, fingernails, fitness, flame, food, football, football commentary, football commentators, football teams, foreskins, games, gender, gender inequality, Gettysburg Address, golden duck, grand, grandmothers, grandparents, Greco-Roman wrestling, Greece, Greeks, Guinness World Records, haggis, haymaker, health, healthy food, heirlooms, history, home decor, homoeroticism, horse, horses, injury, ivory, Jack Broughton, James Cameron, jews, Jiminy Cricket, Jimmy Cricket, jockstraps, junk food, Kevin Spacey, l'oeuf, Lady Macbeth, lamb's guts, left-handedness, Leona Lewis, leotard, Linford Christie, Linford's lunchbox, Local Hero, London, London 2012, love, marathon, Margaret Thatcher, Mariana Trench, Match of the Day, McDonald's, meat, medals, metaphysics, Michael Phelps, Minis, money, monkey, mouse, Muhammad Ali, nails, notes, nudity, oil, Olly's grandma, Olly's mum, Olympiad, Olympic flame, Olympic torch, Olympics, opening ceremony, paint by numbers, painting, paintings, pancakes, penis, penises, Persia, phallus, phenolic resin, phonebox, physical exertion, pictures, pineapple, piss, plastic, plastics, podiums, pogo stick, poker, pole vault, polo, pony, Pot Black, prizes, prosthetics, Pugilistic Society, punching, purple, Queen, Raj, record breakers, Robert Plant, Rovers, rugby, runners, running, San Francisco, score, Scotland, Se7en, serial killers, sexism, sexist boardgames, shah mat, shooting, shotguns, slang, slowest marathon, snooker, snooker balls, soccer, sourdough, southpaws, sponsors, sponsorship, sport, sports, sports kit, sportsman, sportswear, sportswoman, statues, steak, sumo, support, sweat, swimming, team names, Ted Heath, televised sport, telly, the Queen, theme tunes, torch, tracksuits, Trainspotting, Tranmere Rovers, trophies, TV coverage, Twitter, undergarments, underwear, unfit, urination, Usain Bolt, Visa, Vladimir Putin, volleyball, waistcoats, Wanderers, Wimbledon, winners, winning, Winter Olympics, wrestling, YouTube
Posted in albums, extracurricular activities, frippery | 3 Comments »