getting attention at the post office short beds of yore sleeping sitting up open top bus victory/loser parades Emmerdale: Don’t Look Now! The Dingles in Venice scales falling from your eyes (metaphorically) snake-charming (content warning: cruelty to snakes) not learning from your mistakes, amateur tattoo-wise discovering you’re the biological child of the one of the most prolific sperm donors ever and trying to buy your neighbour’s house without looking too unscrupulous.
Coming up on 16 November at 22:00 UK time is the next edition of our video livestream series Petty Problems, where we answer your non-serious questions and you can chat with us while it’s happening – IF you’re an AMT patron, that is, for whose exclusive delight we do these videos. To become a patron, get on over to patreon.com/answermethis; and as well Petty Problems, you receive a monthly compilation of Bonus Bits, and an ad-free version of the episode, AND you’re funding the continuing revival of the show.
Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or call 0208 123 5877 like the old days. Remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next new episode will land in your podfeed Thursday 27 November 2025 so if you have festive questions, send them in now, or hang on for another year.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
Thanks to Naked Wines for sponsoring AMT, and for providing bottles straight from world-class winemakers, cutting out the middleman, delivered to your door. Head to nakedwines.co.uk/answer to get a £30 voucher on your first 6 pack, including free delivery.
In Answer Me This! Episode 371 we learn about letting a cat out of the bag and getting a peacock INTO the bag. Both sound very painful. We also consider:
Thanks to listener Edward for the cover of the AMT email jingle! Hear more of his music under the name Ban Summers.
In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we do not love jiggly foods.
Exciting news: Olly has made a series about diets and body image, Tip the Scales, and it’s ready and waiting for you if you’re an Audible subscriber. Usefully, you AMT listeners in the UK can get a free trial of Audible for a month at answermethispodcast.com/audible – or, if you’ve had such a thing before, you can get a spell of half price membership! And remember: 1. for each of you that takes up the trial, Audible gives us a little bit of money, even when you cancel without paying a thing; 2. you can keep your free audiobooks forever. Hear a sample of Tip the Scales HERE, then get your free Audible trial HERE then hear the whole series HERE. What a super plan, eh?
Listen to Helen’s entertainment show about language The Allusionist, recently featuring a very funny prank from the grunge era, and you can also see her talking at TED about the dot on an i HERE. And sing along to Martin the Sound Man’s gap year diary of songs: his new 40-track mega album The Year of the Bird, complete with illustrations and diaries about each song, is being released at palebirdmusic.com.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, with which you can easily and quickly set up a good-looking website for your projects eg your Oscar-nominated documentary. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.
Plus: Olly remembers his dad’s Martian business plan*, that is still up for grabs if any of you want to do it; Helen has ‘Baby On Board!’ windscreen signs in the crosshairs; and Martin the Sound Man’s parents named him Martin hoping he’d take after one of the nice Martins, rather than Amis or Scorsese.
*If you do decide to give this a whirl – or you have a less doomed idea for a business – build the website using today’s sponsor Squarespace.com. Tinker around during the free two-week trial, then you can have 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. You get a URL and loads of storage thrown in. AND Squarespace manages to make your site look nice on desktop, mobile and tablet, which is far more than most site hosts do (ahem ahem this one).
In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) is a question from Kate about those metal bars that run around the bottom of bars. Bonus appearance from the town that plays Northern Exposure.
We’ll return on 20th August 2015 with AMT321. Be there. Or our hearts will yearn for you.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT320 Child-Friendly Rating: 34%. It opens with feedback regarding AMT319‘s dominatrix question, which, though heartwarming, may be riper than you feel your children should cope with. Some swears thereafter, but we suspect you’ll already have saved this for post-watershed listening. •••
PS Feast your eyes on LEAVENWORTH! The happiest place on earth (or at the very least, Washington State).
We are on a long road trip, and the other day while in New Mexico or Arizona on I-10, we were in a gas station and saw rattlesnake eggs for sale.
Why would you buy rattlesnake eggs? What purpose would they serve?
Also, a note on the packaging said to keep cool to prevent hatching. They were on the counter in a hot room.
Firstly, what purpose is served by almost any souvenir? I never got any use out of the gold plastic gondola from Venice or the tiny furry drum from South Africa or the kangaroo scrote purse from Sydney. The rattlesnake eggs are on sale so that you can buy them, dump them on a shelf at home, then wait for someone to say, “What are those?” whereupon you say, “Rattlesnake eggs!” and they say, “Ooh! I hope they don’t hatch!” then you carry on watching Take Me Out.
BUT.
Here’s the real sting in the tail:
Rattlesnakes give birth to LIVE YOUNG.
Which means…
RATTLESNAKES DON’T LAY EGGS!
Pull a handbrake turn, zoom back up the I-10, and launch a full inquiry at this gas station. You clearly can’t trust their tourist tat, so what else are they fraudulently selling? Their ‘gas’ is probably watered down Bisto.
On the plus side, you don’t have to worry about that hot room making those fake eggs hatch.
Welcome, listeners, to the first Answer Me This! of 2010:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In which we speak of:
the Next sales Sherlock Holmes
sweetbreads
condominiums
the son of Sam
Golden Wonder
Stanley Kubrick
the Queen’s Speech
Scotch woodcock
Johnny Carson
snake lungs
Anne Frank
and
the best public lavatories in Balham.
Furthermore: Olly manages to draw comparison between Lolita and Match of the Day; Helen manages to draw comparison between estate agents and kidnapped children; and Martin the Sound Man manages to draw comparison between a suitable Christmas present for his girlfriend and a DVD boxset about serial killers. Let’s hope he didn’t buy it for research purposes.
We’ve a list of chores for you to do this week:
1) click here to get yourself a free Audible audiobook;
2) share your neuroses, like shark-fearing questioneer Bunty did, in a comment on this post;
3) decide for the world whether humans are red meat or white meat by voting in this poll
4) if you’re still steaming about Walkers Crisps’ packet colours (and frankly, we aren’t), sign the petition;
5) listen to Martin the Sound Man’s latest music podcast;
6) and, of course, send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype IDanswermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.
So, after you’ve done all those, we’ll see you next week for Episode 122!
Answer Me This! Podcast 
EPISODE 371: Gladiator shortages
March 7, 2019In Answer Me This! Episode 371 we learn about letting a cat out of the bag and getting a peacock INTO the bag. Both sound very painful. We also consider:
letting wine breathe
Gladiators vs dystopias
‘Go West‘ vs ‘Give Thanks‘ vs Pachelbel’s ‘Canon in D Major‘
America’s Next Top Ninja (and before you tell us: yes, yes, originally a Japanese TV show)
i dots at TED
Old Testament = UPPER CASE
New Testament = lower case
Under the Net
Memento Mori
Keeper of the King’s Conscience
pets at university
and
swinging a snake.
Thanks to listener Edward for the cover of the AMT email jingle! Hear more of his music under the name Ban Summers.
In this month’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we do not love jiggly foods.
Exciting news: Olly has made a series about diets and body image, Tip the Scales, and it’s ready and waiting for you if you’re an Audible subscriber. Usefully, you AMT listeners in the UK can get a free trial of Audible for a month at answermethispodcast.com/audible – or, if you’ve had such a thing before, you can get a spell of half price membership! And remember: 1. for each of you that takes up the trial, Audible gives us a little bit of money, even when you cancel without paying a thing; 2. you can keep your free audiobooks forever. Hear a sample of Tip the Scales HERE, then get your free Audible trial HERE then hear the whole series HERE. What a super plan, eh?
Listen to Helen’s entertainment show about language The Allusionist, recently featuring a very funny prank from the grunge era, and you can also see her talking at TED about the dot on an i HERE. And sing along to Martin the Sound Man’s gap year diary of songs: his new 40-track mega album The Year of the Bird, complete with illustrations and diaries about each song, is being released at palebirdmusic.com.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, with which you can easily and quickly set up a good-looking website for your projects eg your Oscar-nominated documentary. Visit squarespace.com/answer and get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with the discount code ‘answer‘.
As ever, we want your QUESTIONS: send them, in writing or as voice recordings, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.
We’ll be back with AMT372 on 4 April, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 21 March.
Helen & Olly
••• AMT371 Child-Friendly Rating: 87%. One or two swears, nothing else unsuitable. •••
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Tags:24 hour, all night, American Gladiators, American Ninja Warrior, Arnold Schwarzenegger, avian, birds, Bobby Bragg, Canon in D Major, cat o' nine tails, cats, catsitting, commenters, comments, corporal punishment, Danny the Champion of the World, decanters, decanting, diacritics, dog-walking, dogs, dogsitting, Don Moen, etymology, expressions, flogging, Give Thanks, gladiators, Go West, Hansard, history, i, Iris Murdoch, Johann Pachelbel, John Fashanu, John Ferraro, kittens, Leicester Square, letters, London, melodies, Memento Mori, minims, Muriel Spark, music, Pachelbel's Canon, Parliament, peacocks, peafowl, pens, Pet Shop Boys, pets, petsitting, phrases, post, Post Office Tower, post offices, Postmaster General, punishment, Roald Dahl, Rope, sayings, scribes, snakes, songs, TED, telly, The Running Man, tittle, Total Wipeout, Trafalgar Square, tug-of-war, TV, TV formats, Ulrika Jonsson, Under the Net, university, Village People, walkies, weapons, whipping, whips, wine, words, writing, YouTube
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