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EPISODE 132 – scientifically proven by science

April 22, 2010

Rejoice, listeners, for in Answer Me This! Episode 132, your prayers have at last been answered! Well, some of the prayers of some of you, specifically those asking if we could get Andy Zaltzman onto the show. Any other prayers will continue to be in vain, unless we’re backing the wrong horse atheism-wise.

Anyway. It took a lot of form-filling, tear-drenched phone-calls to his agent, and complaining to Mum; but here Andy is:

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Inevitably, whenever and wherever Andy speaks, he speaks of sport. But we also manage to shoehorn in:

Wine Gums
Gordon Brown
Denise Van Outen
cricket vs. blogging
Andy vs. Liverpool
curry vs. Martin the Sound Man
surveyors vs. honesty
football hooligans vs. Johannesburg
Beth Ditto
Kim Jong-Il
the Sistine Chapel
pebbledash
and
the real problem with George W Bush.

Plus: Olly decries the cuisine of Spain; Helen tells you how best to decide your vote in the forthcoming election; Martin the Sound Man lines up a new band name for when in-fighting rends The Sound of the Ladies apart; and Andy comes up with an all-too-literal means of how to ask for a lady’s hand in marriage. His wife’s knitting career was brought to an abrupt end when he plighted his troth.

If you want a bit more of Andy in your life, then you can: go to see him do stand-up; listen to his podcast The Bugle, co-starring John Oliver; read his cricket blog; and buy his book. Or you could try marrying in to the Zaltzman family, but almost all vacancies have been filled.

The AMT service returns to normal next week, so please send in your QUESTIONS for the usual treatment – email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. No sport, we beg of you. This episode contained more than the entirety of the rest of our lives combined.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:2 girls 1 cup, Andy Zaltzman, art, bowels, childhood, confectionery, constitution, cricket, decor, family, fathers, food, football, George W Bush, humour, hypocrisy, John Oliver, lies, Michelangelo, monarchy, politics, Queen, relationships, Richard Pryor, royalty, rugby, satire, school, siblings, solemnity, South Africa, sport, The Big Breakfast, The Bugle, TV, US politics, World Cup, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS, special guest episode | 6 Comments »

EPISODE 118 – from Busted to Bulgakov

November 19, 2009

Look, we know that ALL of you are in too great a tizzy about the impending release of the new Twilight film to concentrate on Answer Me This! Episode 118, but try. Just for us. Even though we’re not all sparkly and bouffant:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week we speak of:

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
Smeg fridges
the True Blood theme tune
Helen’s dad vs. Peter Pan
the colour of Jesus
Lois Duncan
stupid terrorists
Dermot O’Leary
Red Dwarf
and
fun things to do in Birmingham (UK, not Alabama).

Additionally, Olly dreams of walking through a sewer with Dan Ackroyd and a Ninja Turtle; Helen swoons over a Come Dine With Me contestant who seems to have OCD and too few hobbies; and Martin the Sound Man brings up The Master and Margarita as casually as Helen’s baby nephew brings up his lunch. Just in case you were wondering, he is THE CLEVEREST MAN IN THE WORLD. Try to forget it. He won’t let you.

Please, as ever, send in YOUR QUESTIONS – via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877 – and if you want to tell us about your funny or far-fetched nickname like Smeg did this week, please do so in a comment upon this post. But it has to be a good one, OK? “My name’s David but my friends call me Dave” will not cut it! You’re competing against an adult man named Smeg, remember.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:babies, bombs, Bruce Springsteen, chocolate, Coldplay, cookery, death, family, food, gold, movies, music, myth, personality flaws, phrases, reality tv, sex, taste, television, terrorism, X Factor
Posted in PODCASTS | 25 Comments »

Uncle Ken saw Lisa Stansfield in an airport once…

November 17, 2009

** Click here for Episode 117 **

More of you have piped up about your famousest ancestors, inspired by Jack from Leeds in Episode 116. James says:

My most famous ancestor is my great auntie Margaret Maughan. She was the first Briton to win a gold medal in the Paralympics at the very first competition in Rome 1960. Her gold medal was in archery and I believe she is a great role to model to future Paralympic athletes and deserves recognition for her achievement. Here is a link in case you don’t believe me. Unfortunately I have never been able to meet her and so have never been able to express my gratitude towards her achievements.

That’s definitely a good one. See if you can top it, Tom from Rutland:

I dug around and found out that:
1. my grandmother’s milkman was Sean Connery;
2. my great-something uncle was Buster Edwards from the great train robbery, he even had a film made about him!!!

Tom has saved the best for last, though:

3. My aunt was in the training team for the mice, horse and ducks in Babe!

Bam! My mum baked the loaves of bread that were featured on the labels of Ruddles beer in the early 1990s, but Tom and James’s familial claims to fame have totally trounced that! But if any of you can outdo them, comment below.

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Tags:family, famous ancestors
Posted in Answer Us Back! Your time to opine | 7 Comments »

EPISODE 114 – a top hat full of goose feathers

October 22, 2009

What the Jazzy Jeff is going on with Answer Me This! Episode 114? It’s all full of SPORT! Bloody sport! Golf, boxing, Formula 1 AND the Cinnamon Challenge. We feel like traitors to our own podcast.

Thankfully, there’s less jocktacular business too, such as:

scurvy (again)
bridge rolls
Helge Rubinstein
Napoleon Dynamite
Acton bowling alley
Wanted
Johnny Ball Reveals All
butter vs. Banoffee Pie
Sean Kingston vs. Sean Paul
D.H. Lawrence
James McAvoy
and
the band Clock.

Plus: Olly suggests Angelina Jolie is ‘a bloke with tits, really’ AND manages to compare Cheryl Cole to a golf ball; Helen hopes that Auntie Tarantula isn’t listening to this episode; and Martin the Sound Man breaks the embargo on talking about balls, earning him 14 hours on the naughty step. Will he never learn?

Unfortunately Episode 115 will be out one day late next week; but if you need something to tide you over Thursday, perhaps this tract upon the benefits of dimples to the trajectory of golf balls, this will help. (I’m sure you’ll understand why we kept it brief in the podcast – laminar flow diagrams don’t come across so well in audio.) And you can help tide us over with YOUR QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

See you next Friday!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:baked goods, balls, best man, boxing, cake, cars, cookery, disease, driving, etiquette, family, farting, folly, food, golf, homoeroticism, literature, marriage, music, names, nicknames, racism, sport, Women In Love
Posted in PODCASTS | 4 Comments »