Posts Tagged ‘dogs’
March 10, 2011
Hello chums,
Round here, we thought there’s no way the opening ceremony of next year’s London Olympics could be anything but a damp squib. Given our Glorious Nation’s inherent shyness, we assumed we’d be lucky if the expected pageantry ascended such heights as the whole squad doing the David Brent dance, with commentary from Myleene Klass wearing a low-cut dress and speaking only in adjectives. But au contraire, we were much mistaken! Here, in Answer Me This! Episode 170, we discover what’s going to make the Olympics go with a bang:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Accompanying the episode, like a flock of primary schoolkids wearing national dress, are topics including:
Booze Britain
Ibiza Uncovered
Winston Churchill
coffee stirrers
Jaws
dog trends
Wiesbaden
Danger UXB
monkeys in clothes
fancy-dress football
the abandoned bomb register
Jonathan Creek’s downtime
illegal snoods
the other Martin Austwick
the real-life Miss Marple
dihydroxyacetone
and
the Maillard Reaction.
Plus: Olly is silenced by booze; Helen’s not going to be winning a car anytime soon; and Martin the Sound Man intimates that the dinosaurs might have survived, if only someone had bought them little pink coats with diamante on. Martin would also like you to know that his latest album is out today, which is sadly diamante-free but not without other compensations – download or buy a special edition physical copy here.
Today’s Bit of Crap on the App is the Deleted Scenes from our chat about amateur detectives. How does one get from the FBI to Paul Ross in five easy steps? Find out for yourself on iPhone or Android.
We be wanting your QUESTIONS for next week, so send them as voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And you know what else is next week? Red Nose Day! So if you fancy a bit of pain-free fundraising (ie no climbing mountains or digging latrines or songs involving Bob Geldof), please come along to Literary Death Match on Friday 18th March, in which Helen joins Spaced alumna Jessica StevensonHynes to judge the bookish equivalent of sumo wrestling.
Helen & Olly
Tags:Agatha Christie, alcohol, Amanda Lamb, amateur detectives, animal clothing, animals, aquatic life, army, Barack Obama, bombs, booze, cars, Churchill, Cliff Richard, clothing, coffee, coffee machines, crime, Crystal Palace, Dave Gorman, David Beckham, David Bowie, detectives, dogs, drinking, emoticons, excrement, explosives, fake tan, FBI, fish, football, genitals, Germany, Graham Norton, Hitchen, Ibiza, implements, inebriation, investigation, Iraq, ITV, Jessica Fletcher, Jonathan Creek, London, London 2012, London Olympics, Luftwaffe, Madame Tussauds, marine life, military, Miriam Margolyes, Miss Marple, missions, MoD, murder, Murder She Wrote, Nazis, office politics, ointment, Olly's fake tan, Olympic Stadium, Olympics, Paul Ross, pets, Poirot, poo, prizes, San Francisco, scat, Scotland, sharks, Sharon Marshall, Sherlock, shopping malls, sister cities, skin, sleuth, sports, stupid stupid stupid, tanning, telly, the Blitz, the FA, tights, towns, Tunbridge Wells, TV, twin towns, underwear, unexploded bombs, wangs, waxworks, weapons, Winston Churchill, WWI, WWII
Posted in PODCASTS | 2 Comments »
December 9, 2010
Creeeeeak! What’s behind today’s advent calendar door? Is it a lovely picture of a robin? A verse of the nativity story? A little chocolate that tastes of solidified moisturiser? Let’s see……ooh, what a surprise! It is, instead, Answer Me This! Episode 160:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
And what surprises are therein? Well:
Ali Baba
JJB Sports
Princess Mary of Denmark
dead dogs
Halle Berry’s bum
Tina Turner’s legs
Sega Master System
the Thompson Twins
terrifying pores
Facebashing
British Home Stores
naval recruitment
‘The Night Before Christmas’
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Heidi Range-deer
scary cartoon Weetabix
an abundance of allen keys
The Silver Spoon
and
Plopp.
Plus: Olly is cockblocked by a statue of his newborn self; Helen tells you how not to throw like a girl; and Martin the Sound Man tells you how to make your Christmas protracted and boring. Whoopee! Also, don’t forget this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (which is now available on Android, huzzah!), which shows how a bunch of adults can dissolve into childish mirth during an upright discussion about advent calendars as soon as the word ‘flaps’ shows up. Flaps! Snigger.
You can send us QUESTIONS in the form of voicemails on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and we’ll stack them under the tree to open at Christmas. BUT! Next Thursday sees the first installment of the annual treat (debatably) that is our Best Of episodes, so if you have a favourite bit of AMT2010, please tell us about it on our Facebook wall or, if you forswear social networking, in the comments right here.
See you next week for the visit of the Ghosts of Podcasts Past,
Helen & Olly
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Tags:advent calendars, Ali Baba, allen key, Angelina Jolie, Apple, Arabian Nights, Bob Dylan, Brownies, buttocks, cats, celebrity chins, Charlize Theron, Cher, chest of drawers, childhood, chins, Christmas, church, contact lenses, corpses, cosmetic surgery, dead animals, disease, dogs, Dolly Parton, ER, expressions, eyes, facial features, families, Father Christmas, flatpack, glasses, graduates, Halle Berry, Heidi Range, Hello! magazine, high street, Ikea, independence, iPad, iPhone, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Roberts, Kerry Weaver, lies, Magic Roundabout, Marks & Spencer, Michael Jackson, Mr Men, Nicole Kidman, open sesame, open sewer, Pamela Anderson, panto, parents, phrases, plastic surgery, poems, Posh, rebranding, reindeer, Rudolf, Sandra Bullock, Santa, seeds, sesame, sewers, sex, sexism, shopping, shops, specs, spectacles, stickers, Sugababes, surgeons, surveys, The Last Boy Scout, The Simpsons, theatre, Tina Turner, traditions, Twilight, United Colors of Benetton, university, Victoria Beckham, Weetabix, Woolworths
Posted in PODCASTS | 1 Comment »
November 4, 2010
Team AMT!
We are delighted to announce that our book is out TODAY. As is, similarly delightfully, Answer Me This! Episode 155:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
This week we mention such things as:
premature poppies
‘Barwick Green’
Abi Titmuss
Essential Modern Classics – The Phantom Tollbooth
Banana Skins Slippage Committee
herrings
the edible Fleshlight
hostess trolleys
spinning cakestands
marrowfat peas
ten pin bowling, North London Jew-style
British population density vs. Canadian population density
and
Vince Neil’s eggy crotch.
Plus: Olly laughs and laughs and laughs at poor dead squirrels, because he is a Bad Mann; Helen wishes she still had the rushes of her unofficial audiobook of Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret
; and Marti(a)n the Sound Man lays down the law about lasers, which is roughly the same law that Perseus observed when taking on the Gorgons.
This week’s bonus bit on the app is a question from Becky from Westerham about the TP button in her car. What the blazes is the TP button? Toilet paper? Telepathic powers? Total paralysis? Find out only on the app! (Or your own car.)
If you require a bigger dose of our voices than today’s episode provides, then you can hear us on the Guardian’s Media Talk podcast on Friday 5th, the Shaun Keaveny Show on BBC 6 Music at 9am on Monday 8th, and the Late Show with Ian Collins on TalkSPORT at midnight on Tuesday 9th. That enough for you? Hmmm?
There are only fifty shopping days until Christmas*, and seven more shopping days until next week’s episode, so hesitate not to pose your QUESTIONS, by leaving a voicemail on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or by firing off an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. We look forward to them immensely.
See you next week!
Helen and Olly
*but you don’t even need those, because the Answer Me This! book is the perfect gift for everyone in your life! So thanks to us, you’ve a spare seven weeks to fill with hobbycrafts or waterskiing rather than schlepping round John Lewis. You’re welcome. Don’t say we never do anything nice for you.
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Tags:accidents, AMTbook, antiques, Arctic, Armistice Day, bananas, BBC, BBC News, Berni Inn, bowling, breaking up, budgets, burns, burritos, Canada, carousels, cassettes, Christmas, computers, Crawley, dogs, dumbwaiter, egg, egg burritos, emoticons, England, Esquire, etymology, fish, flouting authority, foreigners, gefilte fish, gender divide, Guardian, hackers, health and safety, housing, hunting, infidelity, IT, Judy Blume, kitchen equipment, language barrier, lasers, Lazy Susan, magazines, marketing, maypole dancing, money, Motley Crue, music, nanny state, New Green Cucumbers, nuts, phrases, poppies, Powerpoint, pranks, pratfalls, print media, Quentin Tarantino, Radio 4, red herring, red tape, roadkill, Robert Rodriguez, school, shopping, slapstick, squirrels, Stanmore, The Archers, themes, turkey, veterans, wine gums, Xmas, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS | 6 Comments »
September 16, 2010
Rejoice! We’ve at last reached not-especially-impressive-numerical-landmark-when-you-think-about-it Episode 150:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
And duly we celebrate this really-not-at-all-momentous occasion with such topics as:
Caddyshack
Caddyshack II
Craig Phillips
Collins academic diaries
Adolf Hitler’s great-nephew
Gillian McKeith
Curiously Cinnamon
knickers full of coins
Paperchase medical supplies
doner kebabs = engineering feats
Postman Pat’s new job
floaters
Opal Fruits
canine panniers
boarding school trains
wretched funk
clockwise Usain Bolt
Platform 9 3/4
and
the end of days.
Plus: Olly gives you the insider knowledge that guarantees to get you on telly; Helen does not want her Everyman’s Library books despoiled by cover illustrations; and Martin the Sound Man has a top tip for stingy people who wish to be kind to the sensitive skin of strippers. Tuck a copy of his album into their garter, that’ll make them happy! This week’s bonus bit on the app is a question from Simon from Wimbledon wondering why people say Inception is confusing. Because that’s what you’re supposed to say about it, durrr.
This is the last episode of the series, but we won’t be away for long: we’ll be returning with Episode 151 on 7th October, which gives you plenty time to get your bargainous audiobooks (and we will be superlatively grateful to you if you do) as well as send us QUESTIONS for the new series: ask them with your voice on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or with your written words by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Because you’ve furnished us with far more questions than we can squeeze into the podcast this series, we’ll be tackling some of them here on the website during our break – and check back here anon if you’re curious about this world record attempt that we’re abetting on September 30th.
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen and goodbye, until October 7th!
Helen and Olly
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Tags:A Journey, Adolf Hitler, Ancient Greece, Andy Zaltzman, animal cruelty, athletics, autumn, Barrow-in-Furness, BBC, Big Brother, boarding school, booze, branding, brands, bums, cash, cat, cereal, Cherie Blair, child labour, Christopher Nolan, coins, common sense, customs, disease, dogs, drunkenness, education, Egypt, fall, films, food, golf, Happy Gilmore, Harry Potter, harvest, Hogwarts, hospital, illness, Inception, kebabs, Kevin Spacey, Kings Cross, magic, Marcus Bentley, Matrix, Mein Kampf, Michael Jackson, mischief, money, movies, music, notes, parking, pets, poo, postal service, Postman Pat, pranks, publishing, Robert Redford, Royal Mail, royalties, school, sport, stations, strip bars, strippers, sun, telly, The Legend of Bagger Vance, theme tunes, tipping, Tony Blair, traction, trains, transport, umbrellas, USA, wizardry, YouTube heroism
Posted in PODCASTS | 2 Comments »
September 9, 2010
At last, the special guestisode featuring Ian Collins off TalkSPORT has arrived! In it we find out a great deal about the great man: his life in pencils, his close relationship with the Home Office, his special form of vigilante justice, and his position as the only man in the world who thinks Cheryl Cole is ‘a bit of a munter’.
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In it, Ian talks to us about such matters as:
Cleethorpes
Morrissey
Rugrats
Ikea pencils vs. Ikea meatballs
pub quiz machines vs. rightness
bubble vs. chewing in the battle of the gums
parliament vs. coconuts
Larry David
courtroom quizzes
the gravy and mini apple pies diet
Boots the Chemist
Spitting Image‘s legal defence
Henry Frankenstein?
and
Wall’s sausage ice-cream
Plus: Olly has beef with the Wood Green branch of Harvester; Helen has beef with infantilised adults; and Ian has beef with PC Stamp from The Bill. Martin the Sound Man does not have beef with anyone this episode, but he will have beef with you if you don’t buy his album; so you’d better do that unless you want to feel his wrath.
This week’s slice of bonus fun on the app is a question from Daniel from Wakefield’s question about Darth Vader’s heavy breathing. He has more in common with Beverley Craven and Helen’s family dog than previously thought.
Now don’t be cross, but next week is the last episode of the series, so get your QUESTIONS in, quick! Leave a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of stuff to listen to during our VERY BRIEF break, because of all the free or cheap-as-chips audiobooks which Audible.co.uk wish to bestow upon you – click here to get yours!
See you next week, loves,
Helen and Olly
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Tags:albums, Aristophanes, Asperger's, australia, autobiography, books, Boots, caravans, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Die Hard, dogs, emigration, Friends, girlfriends, Glenda Jackson, gravy, holidays, Hubba Bubba, Ian Collins, Ikea, immigration, Jimmy Savile, Kinder Surprise, Larry David, Lincolnshire, McDonald's, meatballs, Megan Fox, memoirs, monkeys, Mr Bean, music, Oliver Cromwell, pencils, Peter Mandelson, pets, politics, relationships, Rowan Atkinson, self-esteem, singles, Socrates, Star Wars, stealing, TalkSPORT, The Clouds, The Monkees, theft, toys, Vespas, Wrigley's
Posted in PODCASTS, special guest episode | 6 Comments »
July 15, 2010
Hello again!
Dry those tears, untie those yellow ribbons round the ole oak trees, because we are, as promised a month ago, BACK. We’ve had a lovely sort-of-holiday (which you can find out more about next Tuesday!), and are raring to go with Answer Me This! Episode 141:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
It’s a corker of an episode for fans of older ladies, with appearances from vintage hotties Merle Oberon (phwoar!), Marguerite Patten (schwing!), Joan Hickson (hubba hubba!) and Angela Lansbury (fapfapfapfapfap), along with unrelated topics of conversation including:
Sea World
the brains of Tostao
Brad Meldhau vs. jazzercise, Jazzles and Jazz apples
Cantona vs. Sartre
Polar Bear vs. music for polar bears
Gone with the Wind vs. Bollywood
the Azerbaijan Film Institute’s top 100 movies?
Being Erica
the Big E agricultural festival
kiiking
kiwi fruit
and
the best Miss Marple.
Plus: Olly reenacts The Wrong Trousers at a posh wedding (say, do any of you want to bid on a pair of 38″ Hugo Boss trousers, worn once?); Helen is a philistine when it comes to Citizen Kane and ball ponds; and Martin the Sound Man must have grown up a bit over the break because he manages not to cackle at the phrase ‘ball pond’. Meanwhile, over on our new app, this week’s extra content is a merry tale of gazpacho. Soup-er!
Having been off on our break, we’ve returned with much to tell you about, including Martin the Sound Man’s new album, ‘We Went to the Bottom of the Ocean’ (make sure to endure to the very end of this episode for a sample track!) and our new series of videos, Helen and Olly’s Great British Questions, which will kick off next Tuesday. But amidst all this novelty, please remember to supply AMT with its very life-blood by sending us a QUESTION, so please do that by leaving a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or by sending an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
See you next week, with plenty more excitement in the offing!
Helen and Olly
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Tags:cheese, cleverity, creme brulee, dessert, dogs, education, exercise, Fail, football, Frenchmen, gyms, humilation, jazz, Kent, London Jazz Festival, music, Olly's dad, pets, prawn, prohibition, pudding, sport, Star Wars, swings, tertiary education, Wayne Rooney, weddings, Woody Allen, World Cup, Wuthering Heights
Posted in PODCASTS | 8 Comments »
June 17, 2010
Here it is folks, the final Answer Me This! of the second quarter – Episode 140:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
As we clear out our desks for the break, we give the following topics an airing:
Wills’n’Harry
eggnog
Anjou
the new Mentos + Coke
Duncan Goodhew vs. Dizzy Gillespie
Leonard Cohen vs. Magnetic Fields
Siberian husky dogs vs. Paula Radcliffe
wedding pyromania
hotel breakfast buffets
goat dowry
Freecycle surprise party
revolving restaurants
and
Narnia in Canada.
Plus: it turns out Olly can multitask after all, but only in hotel bathrooms; Helen manages to make prunes even more boring than you already thought they were; and Martin the Sound Man gives a line reading of The Human Centipede, which is as close as we ever want to get to actually seeing that film.
We hereby bid you adieu for a month, but we’ll be popping back here every week to post up some choice words – and to display the results of the Berocca Challenge that we set you this episode, should any of you choose to rise to it! You can also keep in touch with us via Twitter and Facebook, but more importantly by sending us your QUESTIONS – call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
Parting is such sweet sorrow. We’ll be back on 15th July. Have a smashing month!
Helen and Olly
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Tags:Alaska, Alicia Keys, bathrooms, birth, birthday, body lotion, brains, brass instruments, BT Tower, Canada, cars, dogs, eggs, etymology, exercise, food, fruit, Germany, government, headmaster, hiphop, hotels, hygiene, japes, Jay Z, KY Jelly, lavatories, mariachi, marmalade, Miliband, movies, New York, nicknames, Official Secrets Act, Olly's shoulder, parents, party, Pet Shop Boys, pets, pranks, prunes, raisins, rap, relationships, royalty, schadenfreude, school, sex, Simon and Garfunkel, surgery, surprise, swimmers, swimming, Tarantino, teachers, telephones, the Queen, The Strokes, turkey, twins, vandalism, yuk
Posted in PODCASTS | 1 Comment »
July 16, 2009
Fanfares please, readers! For against all odds (given that we expected to be fully estranged WAY before completing the century), Answer Me This! has hit 100. Right in the face. Wallop!
Of course we couldn’t let such a landmark pass in normal fashion; so instead of kicking about in our home studio in Crystal Palace, we trotted across town to the historic Roundhouse in Camden, and recorded the episode in front of an audience of fans and Olly’s extended family as part of the iTunes Live Festival. Technically we were La Roux’s support act, although she was probably cheerfully unaware of this.
To get a fuller sense of the occasion, conjure up a few of the following images to accompany the audio experience:
1. circular room in the bowels of the Roundhouse, that was rather like the innards of a compass
2. balloon animals
3. party bags, including sweeties, cheap plastic toys, sudoku and VERY LOUD party whistles
4. Kanye specs and foil hats.
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
From the folds of our sparkly centenary cloaks we whipped out such topics as:
i-mutation
dislocated hips
sweaty necks
Dodie Smith
filofaxes
Fortnum’n’Mason
chimichangas
Neo’s address
palindromes
George Orwell
Olly’s Mum
and
a fake egg.
Plus: how the podcast began! What’s really going on with Martin the Sound Man! The practicality of coming out on a podcast! And the future of AMT! Joining us for this cavalcade of fun were Josie Long, Alex Thomas, Tommy Herbert, Matthew Crosby; and joining Martin the Sound Man on bass, uke and drums was Richard Acton of the band Limn. We must also thank Alicky Ashby and Julie Wang for the photos, because I doubt we will make another such visually arresting podcast for quite some time.
We hope you enjoy the festivities; but next week the show is back to normal, so we will of course be requiring YOUR QUESTIONS: please email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, phone 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis (Skype seems to have been playing up a bit lately so make sure you elocute to the max).
See you next week, for palindromic prime episode 101!
Helen and Olly
Tags:Arizona, coming out, cookery, dogs, eggs, gay, parents, romance, surgery, work
Posted in PODCASTS | 10 Comments »
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