Answer Me This! Podcast

EPISODE 100 – Live centenary extravaganza at the iTunes Festival!

July 16, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

episode 100

Fanfares please, readers! For against all odds (given that we expected to be fully estranged WAY before completing the century), Answer Me This! has hit 100. Right in the face. Wallop!

Of course we couldn’t let such a landmark pass in normal fashion; so instead of kicking about in our home studio in Crystal Palace, we trotted across town to the historic Roundhouse in Camden, and recorded the episode in front of an audience of fans and Olly’s extended family as part of the iTunes Live Festival. Technically we were La Roux’s support act, although she was probably cheerfully unaware of this.

To get a fuller sense of the occasion, conjure up a few of the following images to accompany the audio experience:
1. circular room in the bowels of the Roundhouse, that was rather like the innards of a compass
2. balloon animals
3. party bags, including sweeties, cheap plastic toys, sudoku and VERY LOUD party whistles
4. Kanye specs and foil hats.

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

From the folds of our sparkly centenary cloaks we whipped out such topics as:

i-mutation
dislocated hips
sweaty necks
Dodie Smith
filofaxes
Fortnum’n’Mason
chimichangas
Neo’s address
palindromes
George Orwell
Olly’s Mum
and
a fake egg.

Plus: how the podcast began! What’s really going on with Martin the Sound Man! The practicality of coming out on a podcast! And the future of AMT! Joining us for this cavalcade of fun were Josie Long, Alex Thomas, Tommy Herbert, Matthew Crosby; and joining Martin the Sound Man on bass, uke and drums was Richard Acton of the band Limn. We must also thank Alicky Ashby and Julie Wang for the photos, because I doubt we will make another such visually arresting podcast for quite some time.

We hope you enjoy the festivities; but next week the show is back to normal, so we will of course be requiring YOUR QUESTIONS: please email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, phone 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis (Skype seems to have been playing up a bit lately so make sure you elocute to the max).

See you next week, for palindromic prime episode 101!

Helen and Olly

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Tags: Arizona, coming out, cookery, dogs, eggs, gay, parents, romance, surgery, work
Posted in PODCASTS | 10 Comments »

Happy birthday to us!

July 15, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

** Click here for EPISODE 99 **

On the eve of our 100th episode, we’ve received a marvellous missive from Simon:

I’m breaking tradition, I’m emailing not with a question, BUT WITH A PRESENT…of sorts.

I found myself doodling as I usually do whilst listening to episode 98, and it sort of developed into the drawing that’s attached! It’s to celebrate your 100th episode, and a thanks for being so damned awesome over the last two years.

Thanks very much, Simon! (Especially for making us look so much better than we do in real life.) And if any of the rest of you fancy making cards for us to prop on our virtual mantelpieces, send them along too! Nobody likes tears on their birthday…

Incidentally, as a birthday treat, we were asked to compile our Celebrity Playlist for iTunes. If you can pause in choking with laughter at the mere notion of us having managed to muscle in on something with ‘celebrity’ in the name, then click HERE check out our joint megamix.

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Posted in AMT Gallery, frippery, visuals | 3 Comments »

Children and caving

July 15, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

Last week, ovaries were ruffled and coos were unleashed when Archie piped up on the phoneline to become AMT’s youngest ever questioneer. But not even high-pitched infantile cuteness could disguise the fact that he had failed to adhere to correct question-posing form, so young Archie was summarily bitch-slapped back to the sandpit. What sort of impact might such admonition have on a young psyche? Father-of-Archie Dean from Suffolk has filled us in:

I have listened to podcast 99 with pride and heard my little lad Archie’s question being thrown out by Olly! Just thought you might like to know that he took your words on board and tried to “go back from where he came from”. To give the lad his due he was almost up to his knees before the wife noticed. My wife is obviously a little upset at this turn of events and is talking about divorce; however Archie did find my best watch which I thought was lost forever in her lady parts, so a positive outcome after all!

Which got me thinking…Answer me this: why do people like potholing?

Having never committed myself to anything more adventurous than unclogging the drain, I find myself unable to answer that question; but if any of you readers are keen speologists, please comment below to enlighten us about the pleasures of potholing. Everyone else can vote on the following:

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Posted in Answer Us Back! Your time to opine | 1 Comment »

EPISODE 99 – handjob on the dancefloor

July 9, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

Welcome to the new series, listeners!

And welcome to the last episode before we hit triple figures. Next week’s podcast will of course be our Live Super-Festive Snazzy Centenary Extravaganza at the iTunes Festival, but until then there’s Not-Live Non-Festive Moderately Snazzy Nonanovantian Normalaganza, Episode 99:

To limber up after the month off, we contemplate:

Stanley Kubrick’s stationery
Paul McCartney’s flatmate potential
spreadable butter
sleeve tatts
onion bhajis
Apple Barn
Dannii Minogue
Jackass
this unconvincingly world-famous restaurant gimmick
messy Kate Nash
and
flesh tunnels.

Plus: Olly talks utter balls about balls; in a tortoise vs. hare-style victory, Helen’s book beats the internet in a race to be informative; and Martin the Sound Man finally builds up a bit of resistance to basic innuendo, although not without some false starts.

We may be getting on, but our tastes haven’t changed: we want YOUR QUESTIONS, and we want them now! Well, not now, but soonish, for the new series. So please gather them and email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or deliver with your voice into our answering machine on the other end of 0208 123 5877 or Skype id answermethis.

See you next week, when we will score a podcasting century!

Helen and Olly

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Tags: celebrities, cohabitation, dancing, Dustin Hoffman, etymology, Fern Britton, inebriation, Julia Roberts, Ministry of Sound, school, tertiary education, Tom Hanks
Posted in PODCASTS | 3 Comments »

All new!

July 8, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

We’re thrilled to be returning tomorrow with our new series, but just before that arrives, we’ve got some other new stuff to tell you about. Namely:

• New badges! The wonderful bods at 50pbadges.com have produced a gorgeous new quartet of badges in two sizes. CLICK HERE to buy your own pieces of flair.

• New albums! During our holidays we put together the Answer Me This! Selection Boxes, four compilations of some of the finest bits of the podcast themed around our favourite subjects: food, love, dilemmas and history. They’re available exclusively from the iTunes store for £3.49 each – or $4.99 for listeners in the US or $8.99 in Australia. Or for some similarly puny amount wherever you are in the world!

• Martin the Sound Man‘s got a new episode of his Sound of the Ladies podcast, featuring his latest song ‘We Went to the Bottom of the Ocean’!

• Fellow podcaster and sibling of the show Andy Zaltzman has just started his new BBC 5Live series ‘Yes, It’s the Ashes’. Unfortunately it is about cricket; but if that oils your bat, then you can listen to Episode 1 on BBC iPlayer until Saturday morning.

See you tomorrow for Episode 99!

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Posted in frippery, Merch | Leave a Comment »

Loooooook again!

June 28, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

** Click here for EPISODE 98 **

Great news for all you Martin the Sound Fans – you can now cut out and keep your very own Martin! Sally Grosart, who created these marvellous paper effigies of me and Olly, has also done one of Martin, right down to his home-made Sound of the Ladies t-shirt. It’s an impressive likeness:

Martin the Paper Sound Man

If you want to make your own papery Martin, click on the picture below for the full-size pattern; and do take a look at Sally’s Flickr stream for her other cardboard chaps.

Make your own Martin - less sweary than the original

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Posted in AMT Gallery, frippery, Martin the Sound Man, visuals | 1 Comment »

(PG)Tips

June 25, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

** Click here for Episode 98 **

There are some subjects which are particularly dear to us, so naturally our question-answering urges were roused by this email from Bobbie from Cincinnati:

Recently, someone asked your advice for new residents of England. Helen mentioned learning to make a proper cup of tea. Which leads me to my question.

Helen and Olly (& Martin) answer me this: what do the “Non English” do wrong when they make tea? I am a tea junkie and would love to know what makes a cup of tea rubbish.

The first problem facing you, Bobbie, is that the most popular tea in the USA is Lipton’s, which is about as likely to make a tasty cup of tea as some eczema scrapings. But assuming you can get your hands on some decent bags or leaves, there are a few useful rules for tea palatability (I will try to keep this brief, as I tend to get far too overexcited on this subject and it is not attractive):

1. Use water that is at the zenith of boilingness, otherwise the resultant tea tastes like someone has been stirring it with soapy pencils. The fresher the water the better, too.
2. Don’t prod the teabag with a sodding spoon, ok? Just leave it to steep for a few minutes! Patience is key to successful tea – which rhymes, therefore must be true.
3. Pyramid or drawstring bags are Stupid. There, I said it.

Of course everyone has their methods (some of which are pure insanity), but what better guide to a good cup of tea than The Olden Times? If the video below is anything to go by, there used to be such a job as ‘tea instructor’. They were clearly hardcore back then.

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Tags: BFI, cookery, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, tea
Posted in extracurricular questions | 5 Comments »

The Sound of the Ladies Lounge III – The Lounge Strikes Back

June 23, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

** Click here for EPISODE 98 **

Listeners, we’re sorry to be neglecting you this month. But Martin the Sound Man isn’t – he’s just released a new episode of his musical-gigs-filmed-in-the-house, The Sound of the Ladies Lounge! And it’s a corker, featuring Martin’s new song ‘We went to the bottom of the ocean’, as well as AMT!P jingle alumnus Gavin Osborn singing his ravishing current single ‘Hello, my name is Charlie’. See:

Told you.

* For more of Martin’s music, and for previous episodes of The Sound of the Ladies Lounge, visit www.thesoundoftheladies.com.
* For more of Gavin’s music, visit www.myspace.com/gavinosborn.

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Tags: DIY entertainment, Gavin Osborn, Martin Austwick, music
Posted in frippery, Martin the Sound Man | 1 Comment »

100 tickets for the 100th Episode – now up for grabs!

June 11, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

** Click here for EPISODE 98 **

Today’s the day, listeners! We have opened up the draw for tickets for our live 100th Episode at the iTunes Live Festival on 11th July. If you are a) over 14 years of age and b) a member of the Answer Me This! Facebook Fanclub, you can win a pair of them! So if you haven’t already, skedaddle over to the Fanclub and set about the entry form; the deadline’s 5pm 18th June, after which we will hold a random draw for the winners. Cos random is fair, see?

If you win a ticket, you will not only be entitled to watch AMT!P turn 100, with all the live jingles, question-answering and Martin the Sound Man’s slow jams that such a celebration entails, but also the evening’s headliner: La Roux, with support from Dan Black. And all for free! What an electropop treat.

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Posted in News | 4 Comments »

Looooook!

June 10, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

** Click here for EPISODE 98 **

We hope you’re enjoying our break – and that you have joined our Facebook Fanclub for the chance to win tickets to our live 100th Episode extravaganza at the iTunes Live Festival. If you have, you will find out all very soon!

Meantime, here’s a little holiday treat courtesy of artist Sally Grosart, who makes marvellous paper toys of such entertainment luminaries as the Flaming Lips, New Kids on the Block and AMT!P pals Pappy’s Fun Club. And now us!

Helen and Olly, uncharacteristically paper-thin

If you fancy making a little paper Helen and Olly to terrorise your mantelpiece, click on the thumbnail below to download the pattern; and check out Sally’s other fun papery work on her Flickr stream.

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Posted in AMT Gallery, visuals | 5 Comments »

EPISODE 98 – what happens in Vegas

June 4, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

Listeners, we’re afraid that the day has come: it’s the last episode of the series! We’re sure you can cope; you seem like an emotionally sturdy bunch. And if our absence does prove too hard to bear, check out Episodes 1-40 for another 15+ hours of our company. Or, alternatively, our Early Learning Curve will make you miss us a lot less.

Anyway, on with today’s show, which is of course Episode 98:

In which there are:

party whistles
big bands
pot pourri
Ben Folds
‘Happy Birthday’
oestrogen
the Nottingham Eye
glottal stops
Michelle Pfeiffer
TGI Friday
cat grass
and
The Ivy festivity FAIL.

Plus: in trying out the kind of etymological web-research that Helen usually does, Olly finds himself in a whole world of Rude; Helen gives some surefire tips to repel potential flatmates; and Martin the Sound Man generally behaves himself, probably distracted by the fact that he has a new live EP out and you lovely chaps can download it for FREE from thesoundoftheladies.com/music

This being Episode 98, I’m sure the mathematical among you have clocked that our 100th episode is fast approaching. Naturally, we will not be letting our passage into triple figures go unmarked, and at the end of the episode we reveal how we’re celebrating it. Our Facebook Fanclub alone will be privy to how you too can be with us for the party of the ~~century~~ day, so join it stat!

Other than that, please do stay in touch while we’re away by sending us your QUESTIONS for the next series: call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And even though we’re giving our voices a rest, we’ll still be putting bits and bobs up on this website throughout our break, so do come visit; and we’ll see you back here on July 9th for Episode 99!

Love,

Helen and Olly

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Tags: appendix, Arabic, B&Q, birthdays, cats, Catwoman, cohabitation, diets, DIY, embarrassment, emergency surgery, etiquette, exes, household, Kristin Hersh, pets, petty grievances, prolapse, Scarborough, sex, TGI Fridays, tourist traps, university
Posted in PODCASTS | 2 Comments »

Cohabitation tips for Andria

June 3, 2009 by Helen Zaltzman

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** Click here for EPISODE 97 **

We’ve had a call for help from Andria from Texas (soon to be from Minnesota):

I am moving in with my fiance in a few weeks so answer me this, what advice would you give to someone who has never lived with a man (other than my dad) before? How can I make this transition smoother for both of us?

I would say you ought to remember to a) have arguments loudly enough that your neighbours can enjoy them; b) not confuse cleaning with something actually emotionally important; and c) not show too much interest in his mysterious locked cupboard, because frankly you will be much happier not knowing – it’ll either contain corpses or pornography. But readers, what would YOU say is the key to happy cohabitation? Let Andria know in a comment below!

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Tags: arguing, cohabitation, household, romance
Posted in extracurricular questions, help! | 2 Comments »