Answer Me This! Podcast

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“PODCAST OF THE WEEK” – THE TIMES

Fuckaduck, Answer Me This! Episode 12 is ready to get jiggy!
So, what’s on the menu for this week’s delicious banter?:

Ted Bundy
a whole lotta hummus/houmus/houmous
the future of the London Dungeon
bonecrushers coming on to Martin the Sound Man
the polluted hands of Chris Martin out of Coldplay
A Beautiful Mind stationery
randy store detectives
Nicholas Lyndhurst
the lie behind Armani jeans
guffing etiquette and evolution
Judy Blume (audio adaptations of)
and
the lost art of home recording

… that’s what! You’d be mad to miss it.

Oh, and if you’ve come to us because we’re Podcast of the Week in The Times this week, be sure to check out our delightful back catalogue, and subscribe to us on iTunes to get future episodes first. And remember – you can email questions for forthcoming episodes to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com

Love

Helen and Olly
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This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

‘Lo, friends!

No need to beware the Ides of March – with Answer Me This! by your side, you’re bound to coast through this traditionally ill-starred day. If only Julius Caesar had owned an iPod, things could have been so different.

Happily, Answer Me This! is having a rather more pleasant mid-March than unfortunate Caesar: we are rejoicing in the incredible success of our charity pudding auction – in which, thanks to winning bidder NICKY HURST from London, our shitty unwanted Christmas pudding (recommended retail price 98p) fetched an amazing SIXTY-FOUR QUID for Comic Relief. As if that weren’t enough, we’re also dancing about like a pair of drunken cheerleaders after being elected Podcast of the Week in Time Out Magazine. But we’ve still had time to get busy doing our thang with the following topics in this week’s episode:

Christopher Biggins
the callousness of children
bad, bad broadband
the secret life of doormen
sooty underwear in Letchworth
ethnic cleansing
giant chairs
FCUK the tubbers!
shopping with mother
cupboard weevils
and
Westlife.

Furthermore, Olly airs his scabs all over Helen’s sofa, Helen rues her potty-mouth and Olly’s gappy conception of world history, and the Reclaim Martin the Sound Man Movement gathers momentum. Listeners, stop encouraging him! It will only make him cocky. And then we’ll all suffer. Is that what you really want?

Many thanks to this week’s questionators, Tom, Jack, Polly, Jonny, Anna and Nattan. If YOU want to keep the question-answering funtimes rolling, send your questions to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, because without them, Answer Me This! will be more like Waiting for Godot than is desirable in a comedy podcast.

Until the rootin’, tootin’, high-falutin’ antics of Episode 11 blow into town next week, bye!

Love,
Helen and Olly
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This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Howdy homies!

As we’re in the thick of our charity Christmas Pudding auction – and all you good kids have given up treats and sweetmeats for Lent – we decided it would be seemly to corrall together some of the food-related questions in our mailbag and bind them together with some cornflour to make the hard-boiled Answer Me This! Food Special. It’s the TASTIEST podcast on the internet!

Toothsome refreshments this week include:
peppers (red)
popcorn
cheese (processed, liquid and runny)
bananas
Afternoon Tea at the Savoy
crusts
steam
nachos
ducks
and
After Eights.

(But in case you’re on a diet, we also give a nod to:
Jamie Oliver
prudish policies at Helen’s school
naughty French films
tantrums
Peckhamplex
Michael Parkinson
Royal Victoria Place in Tunbridge Wells
Titanic
Heather Small
and
Endosperm.)

Thanks as ever to our intrepid questioneers, who this week counted Becky, Polly, Jonny, Angela, Hugo and Ben amongst their number. If YOU want something answered in a future episode, send a question to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

If you like what you hear, remember to subscribe to us on iTunes, and you’ll never miss a future dispatch of our weekly brain-sewage. And for crying out loud don’t forget to BID in our charity Christmas pudding auction on ebay – the auction ends on Tuesday 13 March!

Tune in next week for Answer Me This! hitting double figures, as well as Olly’s ugly past, Helen’s horrid dreams and Martin the Sound Man’s growing legion of stalker-fans.

Much love y’all,

Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to previous episodes • Question Archive
FAQ • Facebook Fanclub • Merchandise Superstore • YouTube Channel

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Hello there! It’s a pleasure to see you again. Can we interest you in a bit of Episode 8 of Answer Me This!, perchance?

The WALL-TO-WALL FUN includes:

a business proposal for youreallysmell.com
Olly’s Renault fantasy
Martin’s Spice Girls fantasy
Funfair! Funfair!
Angels by Robbie Williams
Nickelback (unredeeming appallingness of)
stupid pointless phrases
evolution (not the 2001 David Duchovny film)
and
Sky News.

Also: Olly outs himself as a pescocidal maniac, Helen gets a bit Lynne Truss before readying herself to fleece the benefits system big-style, and Martin the Sound Man reveals his true musical colours.

But it’s not all fun and games at Answer Me This!, even though it’s still mostly fun and games. Helen and Olly have gone all altruistic, and are selflessly flogging Olly’s unwanted Christmas Pudding from Episode 3 on eBay for Comic Relief. If you fancy a chance of buying a delicious* Christmas pudding in March, and simultaneously Doing Some Good for the world, get bidding!
*actual pudding may not, technically, be delicious.

Many thanks to this week’s questioneers, Charlie, Nicola, Sam, Doug, Steve and Olly’s mum. If you want a piece of the question-asking, then send YOUR questions to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Until next week, when we’ll be dropping the Answer Me This! Lent Food Special like it’s hot, bye!

Helen and Olly
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FAQ • Facebook Fanclub • Merchandise Superstore • YouTube Channel

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Good morrow, listeners! How are you? We’re fine, thanks for asking.

Pleasantries over: let’s get down to business. Episode 7 of Answer Me This! has hit Ear-Town, and we’d be delighted if you would listen to it.

So please check it out, and in doing so expect to be rewarded with the following entertainment tidbits:
Dreams – The Bed Superstore
Belinda Carlisle
Alexander technique
Ribranda (Who? What??)
sweaty schoolboys
urinal cake
and
beetrooty bowels

Marvel! at Olly’s pillow folly. Gasp! at Helen’s slightly turgid book-learning. Swoon! at Martin the Sound Man’s chitchat about tear gas. Yup, all of human life is here. It’s quite the mixed bag.

There’s also a doozy of an audience question. Check it out here, and get your thinking cap on.

Now, even though you’re all fastidiously avoiding pleasurable activities for Lent, there’s no need to deny yourselves the furtive delight of posing us questions. So give us a treat by emailing your many queries to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And if you’re a bit bored at work, why not become our Imaginary Friend on MySpace? Then, if we ever have an Imaginary Tea-Party, you can come!

Love,

Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to previous episodes • Question Archive
FAQ • Facebook Fanclub • Merchandise Superstore • YouTube Channel

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Hello, pals!

What time is it? Episode 6 of Answer Me This! time, that’s what! We want to penetrate your beautiful ears. Let us in!

‘Issues’ attracting our attention in this week’s episode include:
late night dating shows involving swimming pools
Alton Towers vs. Thorpe Park
knitting (difficultness of)
pet death
Olly’s stinky nose
Garageband
Eriq La Salle
and
Letchworth.

Plus to those of you who stick thorough to the end, a long-awaited discussion on the strange dynamic existing between Helen, Olly and Martin The Sound Man as they sit on a big bed and talk into a big phallic object whilst looking into each other’s eyes. Controversial!

We hope, as the Killers say, you enjoy your stay.

Helen and Olly

P.S. Keep emailing your questions to us at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You’ll feel a weight off your mind!
Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to previous episodes • Question Archive
FAQ • Facebook Fanclub • Merchandise Superstore • YouTube Channel

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Good day to you, friends!

You and us, we’ve been getting on so well that we wanted to send you all an early Valentine’s card and a heart-shaped box of Ferrero Rocher. Unfortunately we ran out of stamps, and Martin the Sound Man ate all the Ferrero Rocher – so instead we offer you the fifth episode of Answer Me This! as a love-token.

And if you haven’t subscribed to us on iTunes yet, why the devil not? That way, you’ll hear our new episodes as and when they’re published, perhaps one whole day in advance of your friends. That’s sure to serve you well in the playground.

Matters attracting our amorous attentions this week include:
yeast of the head
yeast infections
yeast extract
Rupert Grint (artistic progress of)
Olly’s toiletries
birthday card etiquette
Chloe off 24
whiffy dollars
and
Martin the Sound Man at C&A.

And if that doesn’t get you in the mood for some commercially-orchestrated lurrve, then you are probably ill.

Thanks ever so much to everyone who sent questions in; apologies to those whose queries have gone unanswered, and well done to Kins, Miranda, Nick, Katie, Ken Mustard and Eloise, who made the cut this week. If YOU have a question to add to the canon, please for God’s sake email it NOW to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com (and by the way, if you want to be added to our email list, just send us an email titled ‘Helen and Olly, please send me your occasional pithy missives’).

By the by, we notice not a single one of you has even attempted to win Olly’s Christmas pudding. Come on, people! It’s the perfect Valentine’s present! (if your true love is a bit of a dolt)

Until episode 6, bye!

Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to previous episodes • Question Archive
FAQ • Facebook Fanclub • Merchandise Superstore • YouTube Channel

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Hello, chaps!

At long last, the breathless wait for episode 4 is OVER. Despite its long wait on the bench, Episode 4’s beauty is undimmed. This week’s musings, hotter than a McDonald’s apple pie in August, include:

aunties
lavatory seats (feng shui influence of)
stabilisers
restaurants (evil financial vagaries of)
love-teeth
Plato (Apology)
drowsy fishermen
the Answer Me This! backlash
and
lemons.

There’s also a fair amount of self-indulgent basking in the glory of Answer Me This! achieving no.63 in the iTunes Top 100 comedy downloads. So, if you have grown fond of Answer Me This!, please urge all your friends to check it out as well and maybe we can crack the iTunes top 50. And if you haven’t, why on earth are you reading this? You’re only hurting yourself.

If you would like to join the ranks of this week’s questioneers – Ben, Olly’s dad, Holly, Tommy, Bianca and Polly – email your dilemmas, fact-niggles and bamboozlements to answermethispodcast.com. Also, nobody so far has put in any bids to win Olly’s Christmas Pudding (which pretty much ties up his question in episode 3 about whether anyone actually likes Christmas Pudding), so if for some bizarre reason you think you would like it for your pudding-coffers, send us an email entitled ‘Please send me Olly’s pudding, to feed my demented pudding-lusts’.

Until next time, bye!

Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to previous episodes • Question Archive
FAQ • Facebook Fanclub • Merchandise Superstore • YouTube Channel

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Howdy, friends and associates of Answer Me This!

We are very excited to present Answer Me This! Episode III for the delectation of your beautiful little ears. We do hope you like it. Those of you who thought this thing was a trilogy, prepare to be disappointed: there’s plenty more where that came from. Oh yes.

Subjects keeping us busy this week include:
charity muggers
albumen (structural integrity of)
poaching
boobs
narcolepsy
Christmas pudding (universal unpopularity of)
Gladiators
flying maverick mice
embarrassing misunderstandings
and
syphilis.

So, much the same as Prime Minister’s Question Time.

Many thanks to this week’s questioneers, David Goo, Kins, Hugo, Ali, Nadia and Holly. And if YOU want to join their illustrious ranks, send your questions – from the sublime to the ridiculous – to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Furthermore, if you want to win Olly’s unwanted Sainsbury’s Basics Christmas Pudding (cash value £0), answer us this: how can we get that picture of a horse wearing flippers off our iTunes page?

Until next week, when we’ll be taking more swings at the Questions ball with our Answers bat: bye!

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to previous episodes • Question Archive
FAQ • Facebook Fanclub • Merchandise Superstore • YouTube Channel

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Good day to you, readers; and what more glorious day could there be than this, the day episode 2 of Answer Me This! is at last released to an adoring world?

(You needn’t answer that question. It’s rhetorical. There is, of course, no more glorious day!)

Hot topics covered in this week’s episode include:
fishy juice
sliced bread
intestines (stretchiness of)
etymology
breakfast
Continental breakfast (relative rubbishness of)
Bob Holness
French horns
Irish butchers
and
Jude Law (fictional urinary habits of).

Cor! Wow! Etc!! If you like the look of that, and you haven’t yet subscribed to Answer Me This! on iTunes, why not subscribe to Answer Me This! on iTunes? And if you don’t like it, leave us some constructive criticism in the comments section, otherwise we’ll never get better.

Many thanks to this week’s questioneers, Clare, Amy, Brendy, Alistair, Alicky and Hugo; we hope we have vanquished your queries. Furthermore, we offer a big enthusiastic ‘congratulations!’ to Nadia for her winning answer to last week’s Audience Question. Unfortunately she doesn’t win a big cash prize, but she has earnt our respect. If you want to win some of that for yourself, apply your wits to this week’s question in the post below.

We’re back with another dose of Answer Me This! next week. Remember, if YOU have a question for us, please send it to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Love,
Helen and Olly
Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to previous episodes • Question Archive
FAQ • Facebook Fanclub • Merchandise Superstore • YouTube Channel

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction; or through iTunes. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Greetings, chums.

The aural treat you’ve been waiting for since December last year, and, indeed, YOUR WHOLE LIFE, is finally online! Yep, Episode 1 of Answer Me This! is LIVE!!

Topics covered in this week’s episode include:
constipation
eugenics
suits
phone codes
abbatoirs
Janeane Garafalo (whereabouts of)
auto-fellation
pret a manger
cockslaps
cadbury’s boost bars (whereabouts of)
and…
Cher.

Go on, feast your ears. And stuff them full of sound every week by subscribing to us on iTunes . We’re confident our listeners have the smarts for this moderately laborious process. It’s TOTALLY worth it!

Thanks very much to this week’s Questioneers – Claire, Luke, Leander, Mr Smeam, Greg, Karen and Alistair. We hope you’re satisfied with our service.

We’ll be back next week. If you’d like YOUR question to feature in a future episode, email us at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Love,
Helen and Olly

p.s. Many thanks to Martin and the Answer Me This players, who provided our excellent theme tune and assorted jingley-pokery.
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