Archive for the ‘Answer Us Back! Your time to opine’ Category

domain dosh

September 12, 2013

money_suitcase

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Pat from Canada is taking a gamble with gamblers:

In regards to your recent podcasts about domain names I thought you would find it interesting to hear about my husband’s experience. A few months back, he received an offer of $500 for his company’s domain name. He turned it down as it wouldn’t be worth the time and effort to reestablish a new name as he has used the same one for the last 16 years.

A few days after he turned this down, he got another offer and this time it was $5000.00. He asked which company was interested and although the broker wouldn’t tell him, he managed to do a little online sleuthing around the area code of the broker and the initials of his company’s name and it appears that a very large US gaming and casino company is involved!

He told the broker that it would take a lot more money to get him to give up the domain name and we are waiting to hear their counter offer! $$$$$$

How much should we hold out for?

You could do some research into similar cases and the amounts large companies paid for domains. Or you could think of a pleasing amount of money, then double it, then add another decimal point or two to compensate your husband’s business for the hassle it would cause to change it.

Go on, readers: how much would you sell it for?

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Lest there be any doubt, zombie questions continue to be off limits at AMT

September 11, 2013

zombie-cat

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Henry in Vancouver, Canada thinks he’s some kind of rebel:

Hearing your notice not to send in zombie questions last week naturally made me think of some sort of check-mate scenario in that regard. With that in mind, Olly, answer me this, what is the plan for your cat in some sort of Zombie-centric emergency?

NO, HENRY. NO. NO.

And now there’s Joel:

Do the BBC and other such channels have actually have a system for a nationwide crisis, such as a zombie attack?

The answer to the sensible portion of your question is ‘Yes’. My response to the latter part is NO, JOEL, NO NO NO NO NO FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

Honestly. You people.

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page turners

September 4, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT269

We thank the many of you who sent in very knowledgable-sounding feedback upon last week’s topic of pianists’ page-turners. As well as some very informative comments about the system, our inbox has received so many emails that it was difficult to choose which to present to you here; but we ended up choosing this one from Cassandra because she sounds so cheerful:

Greetings!! I am parked outside the Cheesecake Factory restaurant in Fairfax, Virginia listening to your episode on page turners for pianists and orchestras. I was so excited I knew the answer I had to hold off on buying cherry cheesecake until I could answer it.

I can help!! I am a violinist and in an orchestra the string players are always grouped by twos: two musicians to a music stand where they share the music.

When it comes to the point of the page turn, it is the “inside player” who does the page turning. This means that the musician who is closet to the audience/edge of stage always continues playing while the inside person pauses for a few seconds, flips the page, and then continues playing. This ensures no break in the music. It is essentially universal, this method.

However, I teach high school orchestra students and there is usually a pretty lengthy “debate” on who has to turn pages, meaning “I am a senior and you are a freshman and I don’t care that you are the outside, you are turning my pages, blah blah blah.” It’s amusing to listen to and then correct them that no, you really do need to turn the pages for the freshman since you are on the inside.

BTW – my younger sister has turned pages for a pianist before, harder than it looks as you have to turn them EXACTLY when they indicate and you have to be able to read music (she played piano herself), or they swear at you under their breath 😉

Now I need cheesecake.

You go get that cheesecake, Cassandra! Thanks for the information. And thanks also to Adam for suggesting something to watch whilst gobbling the cheesecake:

Did you ever watch The Page Turner? It was a very boring movie about some lesbian pageturner who started an affair with a pianist wife of a family.

I didn’t; and now you’ve told me what happens, and that it’s very boring, I will continue to not watch it.

If any of the rest of you are tempted, however…

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.int

September 4, 2013

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Here’s some intportant intformation about the runt of the litter of the seven original major web domain suffices. Int’s from David:

Last week you talked about the original Internet top-level domains, and wondered who on earth would buy a .int domain.

Well, I used to work for the International Network for Bamboo and Rattan (INBAR), whose website is http://www.inbar.int. A guy there told me that only recognised intergovernmental organisations, such as INBAR or the UN, are allowed to have websites ending in .int.

So no-one can simply buy a domain ending in .int (check GoDaddy, it’s not one of the options when you try to register a new domain) — you first need to set up a globally-recognised intergovernmental organisation.

So, answer me this: how does one go about setting up an intergovernmental org?

You think if we knew how to do that, we’d be still be trifling around with podcasts? Readers! Go to the comments to tell David how he can get to play with the big guns (the big guns being the International Network for Bamboo and Rattan, of course. What could possibly be bigger?).

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step AWAY from the face paint

September 3, 2013

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You know, sometimes I worry about the advice I dole out on Answer Me This! – though I was pretty sure about the particular nugget which Rupert has written to endorse:

Having only just caught up with Episode 268 (the holiday podcast backlog causing its usual chaos), I heard the bit about not blacking up children and was brutally dragged back to one of the most embarrassing incidents of my life…

I was an awkward child of 8 or so, up in Edinburgh for our annual Christmas stay with my Aunt, Uncle and cousins. For some reason that year, the traditional panto included The Black & White Minstrels (this was about 45 years ago, o tempora, o mores, etc.).

The highlight of the show was the opportunity to get blacked up like a Black & White Minstrel (remember, 45 years ago). My hand shot up, and I was invited up on stage. What I had forgotten was that we had been dressed up in our finest clothes for this treat, which for me – for reasons I have never fully understood, since I was English and lived in Hampshire – meant wearing a kilt.

Having blacked up my face, like the others, they then had to black up my knees – to the great derision of the rest of the audience, who seemed to regard this as the most ridiculous thing they had ever seen. It probably was, but childhood wounds run deep. I have never worn a kilt again.

So I just wanted to endorse the wise advise you handed out: do not black up children.

Indeed. Do not. Not ever. Not even for kiddy productions of Othello.

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glacé deer

August 27, 2013

peanut-butter-reindeer-cookies-4

CLICK HERE FOR AMT268

We’ll have even less reason to go near the Christmas cake, if Elon from Austin, Texas is reporting truth:

Your exploration of glacé cherries on the show this past week reminded me of a tale I was told growing up in Michigan. Michigan, I believe, is the world’s largest producer of what we call maraschino cherries. Traverse City, in the north of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula, is fond of touting itself the Cherry Capital of the World. H

The tale I was told is that when the farmers preserve the cherries they intend to sell to the maraschino cherry producers, they first dump their crop into large pools of chemicals for the winter. And since it doesn’t really matter what happens to the fruits due to the bleaching and candying process, these pools are often outside…essentially just big holes in the ground…which of course attract deer…which sometimes fall in…and get bleached and candied themselves.

The capper of this tale is the bit about how workers are hired in the spring of each year before the thaw completely sets in to fish out the candied deer carcasses and whatnot that falls in over the winter.

So answer me this please: is any of this true? Are health regulations in the US so poorly enforced that this could happen in this day and age? Yeesh!

Readers, if you have any inside knowledge on the candied deer phenomenon, reveal in the comments.

To me, it sounds like bulldeershit. People succeed in covering backyard swimming pools to stop crap falling in. If you had an open-air pool of fruit intended for human consumption, wouldn’t you at the very least put a net over it to catch the larger debris?

And if this is indeed how cherries are stored (rather than in, say, closed tanks), wouldn’t the Michigan climate keep them frozen for several months? Now a deer skating over a frozen pool of cherries, that I’d like to see.

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Frankenstein’s moniker

August 15, 2013

lab1

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Rachel has written in with some feedback upon an episode from three years ago, and an injustice we suffered more than nine years ago:

I just finished watching the 1931 movie Frankenstein starring the magnificent Boris Karloff and I noticed something odd about the mad scientist… his name was Henry Frankenstein, not Victor!

I vaguely recalled you mentioning something in a previous episode about losing money in a pub quiz machine because you selected the wrong name for the mad scientist. I was curious to know if the ‘correct’ name on the quiz machine you had was Henry and after a quick search of your website, I found that in episode 149 (with Ian Collins!) you guys said the correct name according to the quiz machine was in fact Henry and that you lost seven pounds!

It’s really weird that your quiz machine targeted such a specific Frankenstein but you guys definitely could have gotten your money back on that one. Just thought you guys would like to know that quiz machine wasn’t totally full of bullshit!

PS The 1931 Frankenstein is an absolutely fantastic movie and was one of the first major ‘talkies’. I definitely recommend watching it sometime!

It must be absolutely fantastic if it has caused the quiz machine to obliterate its knowledge of the CORRECT NAME IN ALL THE OTHER VERSIONS OF FRANKENSTEIN INCLUDING, MOST CRITICALLY, THE SOURCE MATERIAL.

No, we’re still not over it.

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ashes to ashes to your face

August 14, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT266

A cautionary tale from James from Lymm, Cheshire:

Listening to AMT266, your conversation about the legalities of burying people and ashes scattering had me in stitches. So much so that I had to get off my bicycle, lest I cause havoc on the roads.

It reminded me of something that happened a number of years ago when my sister and I were scattering my late father’s ashes.

This was when my sister and I lived at home. My father, he’d sat on the mantle-piece in his little metal urn for a number of years, and one day we got sick of looking at him and organised to go together to somewhere dear to him and us, to scatter his remains.

On the day we traveled to the designated place, and with all the gravity and sobriety requested on such an occasion we both said a little piece, popped open his canister, and upended him.

As expected ashes came ushering forth… only, just at the wrong time there was a gust of wind which as you can imagine played havoc with the scattering mechanisms.

Together we tried to ignore this fact; after my sister and i were done scattering ‘Pop’ we hugged and had a serious, heartfelt conversation. But it was nigh on impossible to keep a straight face between us, as both of our faces were covered in ashes!

So let that be a warning to anyone thinking about cremation. Make sure you conclude proceedings ONLY on a calm day.

Don’t worry, James, we’ve seen enough comedy films to know not to do that. For safety, we’ll be disposing of loved ones’ ashes the Keith Richards way.

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She’ll be coming round the metaphors when she comes

August 14, 2013

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Welcome to Learning Time with listener Robin:

A smidgeon more information on ‘She’ll Be Comin’ ‘Round the Mountain’.

Judgement day was sometimes a metaphor for freedom.

Jesus sometimes had the secret meaning of Harriet Tubman, who would lead the slaves to freedom.

It was all right for slaves to be found singing spirituals, but not all right for them to be plotting or hoping for freedom out loud.

This song grows ever more interesting! But still not at all dirty like our questioneer thought. That was all in her mucky mind.

Here’s more feedback on the musical elements of AMT266, from Rebecca from Letchworth:

Musicals are my favourite thing in the world and seeing as I am a drama student, I am constantly singing songs from musicals and going to see musicals in the West End.

I don’t think you should sing along when you go and see musicals on stage – you’re paying a lot of money hear trained professionals do it. Also, the seating in some theatres is very tight, you are practically bumping shoulders with the people either side of you. My advice would be that if you really cannot control your need to sing along (and sometimes you really can’t control it), you should simply mouth the words.

I do this when I go and see a musical, because you feel like you’re singing along and if you get your timing just right, you can pretend in your head that the actor’s voice is actually yours. That way you are having a little sing-song to yourself and you’re not disturbing anyone around you.

Very considerate, Rebecca – unless you’re also silently dancing along, and elbowing your seat-neighbour in the face when you do jazz hands.

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King of the Mountains

July 24, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT263

Before you read the following piece of listener feedback about last week’s Tour de France chat, consider this: which outfit better behoves the King of the Mountains?

This:

TDF-2013-KOM-jersey

Or this?

fast-custom-new-yeti-mascot-costume-c667

I think I’ve made my point. You may continue, Sammy from Pocklington:

I was disappointed to hear Olly mockingly describe Le Tour’s polka-dot jersey as “a consolation prize.”

Whilst the yellow jersey for best general classification is the most esteemed, the King of the Mountains jersey is far from being a consolation and is an very prestigious stand-alone category. It requires huge strength and effort to amass a winning amount of points over some of the toughest and most demanding challenges in world sport.

In fact, your general tone when discussing Le Tour (and other sports in previous podcasts) leads me to ask – why the hell do you hate sport so much?

I can’t speak for Olly, but I’d guess that he started out indifferent, then this was calcified into active dislike by the expectation of Society that he, as a man(n), must give a shit about it.

In my case, you might interpret it as a rebellion against my background; for I grew up bloody well surrounded by sport. Every other member of my family is a sports enthusiast. Of rugby and cricket was the majority of discourse formed. The soundtrack of Sunday lunch was the insidious whine of the Grand Prix buzzing in from the television left on in the other room so that my dad could pop out to check the progress of the race every few minutes. All summer, the living room curtains were closed so the sun didn’t strike the TV screen while my brother was watching cricket. In autumn, there was the interminable wait for the end of the football scores being announced so people could check their pools; the prospect of watching telly that was actually entertaining telly seemed impossibly distant. The injustice stung that we were never, ever allowed to watch television in the morning, but my dad could, as long as it was athletics. My spine even now spasms involuntarily at the unmistakable tone of football commentary: the unmodulated sub-shout. And I still think it’s unfair that so many quiet pub suppers have been ruined by big screen sport – but NEVER big screen films or sitcoms or YouTube playlists or David Attenborough programmes.

Also, people take sport too seriously. Especially YOU, football fans. Don’t start fights or let your mood be dinted by a loss, because… it’s just a game! No, it is.

It really DEFINITELY is.

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE TORTURE OF OUR FORMATIVE YEARS THAT WAS SCHOOL SPORTS.

So there are a few reasons for you to chew on, Sammy. But perhaps you’ll be placated to hear that we both managed to swallow our natural antipathy for long enough to record the Answer Me This! Sports Day album. We don’t mind sport so much if we can use it to fund the show, as it turned out.

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in defence of steampunk

July 24, 2013

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Although we still don’t necessarily agree with all it, we admired this impassioned and informed defence of steampunk from Sean from Ashford, Oregon:

Although I am not an active practitioner I have used the style in several theatrical scenic designs and have come to respect it. True, at its worst, it is an excuse for girls to dress-up in corsets and carry nerf-guns spray painted gold. But at best it is a “maker-movement” analogous to John Ruskin and Arts and Crafts.

The true Steampunk crafts-persons are creating unique works of art from mass-produced objects: iPad cases, flash-drives, lamps, handbags, and clothing, while employing 19th-century materials: copper, brass, bronze, exotic hardwoods, leather, and velvet. It owes more to Jules Verne than Blade Runner.

The cogs in the pocketwatch are exposed, Helen, to celebrate the beauty of the working parts. Today most things we own are mass-produced by the millions in plastic boxes factory-sealed in China. Steampunk romanticizes an age of tinkerers and inventors who had a hand in creating the things they used. The welding goggles and chauffeur dusters are simply an icon representing that idea.

So yes, much of Steampunk has become an excuse for 20-somethings to dress up in waistcoats and pith-helmets, but it has a counter-cultural heart that celebrates the unique and handmade while longing for the adventure’s spirit of Victorian explorers and scientific pioneers.

We certainly enjoy the unique and handmade, too, Sean; we just still wonder why the steampunk aesthetic seems to be so homogenous. John Ruskin eschewed homogeneity. Although he also eschewed sexual maturity, so let’s not get too invested in things John Ruskin was a fan of.

Now we’re off to the library to try to find 150-year-old lithographs of Victorians carrying around nerf-guns.

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McPulse and Cocktails

July 17, 2013

_48877479_pulse&cocktailsexterior

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Last week we spoke of Pulse and Cocktails, that salubrious-looking Adult Shop at the side of the A1. No doubt it has stimulated many people in its time, and now it has stimulated Mark from St Neots to write in with a little bit of backstory:

It was originally built as one of the first generation McDonald’s with a larger twin site opposite. And there were plans for a bridge across the road so you could visit either site. Along with many other food sites on the A1, they were closed down as the market changed, and if you drive up and down the A1 today you will still see many empty restaurants (there are better ways to spend your time however).

McDonald’s were looking for a new occupier for the property, but whilst the property was set up as a restaurant and still had some equipment in it they wouldn’t allow any new occupier to sell chips or burgers, the staples of a motorway services, so there was little interest.

Then the property got broken into, the copper wiring stolen and the insides trashed. Walking through a pitch black former McDonald’s with a slightly stale smell of fried cooking and then your torch picks up a picture of Ronald McDonald on the wall makes you feel like you’re in a scene from Stephen King’s IT, I can tell you.

So Pulse and Cocktails actually used to be even LESS salubrious than it is now. Imagine!

Nonetheless, the site does figure in some of your misty water-coloured memories. Bryn writes:

I have to say it was a bit of a shock to hear you talk about Boothby Pagnell in your last show, as my family and I used to live there. What’s more, the A1 adult store you referenced in your show used to be a McDonald’s.

As it was just down the road, therefore easier to get to than Grantham, this was the McDonald’s our dad used to drive us to on special occasions (i.e. when mum was away and we needed tea). So you can imagine our the dismay on my and my brother’s faces when it was transformed into something rather different.

This however was nothing compared to the sheer terror and panic on my dad’s face when forced to explain to my inquisitive younger brother what had become of our local McDonald’s.

And THAT was the exact moment your brother’s childhood ended.

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