Answer Me This! Podcast

••• CLICK HERE FOR AMT195 •••

Danny from Leeds has discovered nice things to look at from one’s seat on the Great North Eastern Railway, aside from Durham cathedral, the Angel of the North, and Berwick-upon-Tweed:

Recently I was travelling back on the train from my home in Leeds to uni in Edinburgh. I was sat opposite this very attractive Asian lady, probably a bit older than me. We were doing that thing where you catch each other’s eye, hold their gaze and smile, and other flirting for ages. THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO ME.

So answer me this: are there some rules or advice for how to take it further and do you think I have may have missed a golden opportunity??

Put it this way: you certainly didn’t GRAB any golden opportunity, did you? Therefore you could be said to have missed one. As for taking it further, how about striking up a conversation? If you needed a pretext, you could have offered buy her an overpriced drink from the buffet car, even though the tea tastes like burnt shepherd’s pie. You then have several hours for chit-chat, so by the time you chunter into Edinburgh Waverley you should have definitely reached the point of at least exchanging email addresses.

But you didn’t, so you’ve condemned yourself to a lifetime of “What if?”. If only you’d seized the day, like Alan here:

Last weekend I got a girl’s number on a night out. I’d never done this before so decided what the hell, I will text her. That went well and we decided to meet up this weekend to do “something”.

So answer me this: what are good things to do on a first date? Something fun, unique and memorable that will ensure I get a second one!

Are AMTfans hopeless romantics, or just hopeless? Readers, over to you. Go to the comments and plan Alan’s date for him, giving him suggestions not only for the first date but for the putative follow-up. His happiness depends upon it!

SUBSCRIBE WITH iTUNES • AMT BOOK • QUESTION ARCHIVE • EPISODES • FAQ
• iPHONE APP • ANDROID APP • FACEBOOK • TWITTER • YOUTUBE • MERCH •

••• CLICK HERE FOR AMT194 •••

There’s something which is far more likely to result from a wedding than a lifetime of marital bliss: everlasting rifts with family and friends! Add a faraway wedding destination to the usual stresses, with associated expense and inconvenience, and forty years later Cousin Mabel will still be shredding the bride’s Christmas cards.

So have pity – and advice – for Rob from Bedford here:

We are a UK-based family. My sister is getting married next year and has decided to do it in Sri Lanka of all places, which means we are being asked to fly to Sri Lanka and spend a week there for the wedding.

My wife thinks that this is an unreasonable request and I’m fairly uncomfortable about it myself. I also have a small child to think about, who will be a few weeks short of two years old by then. Who knows, we might even be expecting a second.

I don’t think you can use hypothetical foetuses as an excuse not to go, but I understand your grievance. ‘Reasonable’ is not usually uppermost in a couple’s mind when planning a wedding, although even the most wedding-bonkers pair should be reconciled to the fact that many of their guests will not be able to make it if distance and cost are involved.

However. As a member of the immediate family, you really are obligated to make every attempt to attend, even if you have to go solo and leave your wife and child (and, alright, your potential child-to-be) at home.

Agreed, it’s pricey and annoying, if your sister or her fiance have no ties to Sri Lanka and have no reason to be holding the event there other than it’s nice. But your absence would be interpreted as a hostile gesture, not only by your sister but by other members of your family. If you think going to Sri Lanka for a week is inconveniencing you, just imagine all the tearful phonecalls and rows in the run-up, and the recriminations for an untold span of aftermath.

It’s an event that means an awful lot to your sister, so if she means anything to you, stop complaining and start researching flights. Better still, start thinking positively about the occasion: I hear Sri Lanka is very beautiful and child-friendly, and your sister has given you the excuse to take a family holiday there.

Jack in Leeds sounds more chipper about his faraway wedding problem:

My friend is getting married in November. We would love to attend but he has, rather selfishly, chosen to hold the wedding where he lives, Sydney in Australia.

Despite this, I still want to get them a nice gift, but would like something more imaginative than ordering flowers etc. So, answer me this: what would be a great wedding present that would fit in a card?

Readers, go to the comments and help Jack choose a present. As things which fit in a card tend to be vouchers, which are BORING, I have decided to extend the criteria to include non-floral items and/or services he could order for delivery in Australia. Go!

SUBSCRIBE WITH iTUNES • AMT BOOK • QUESTION ARCHIVE • EPISODES • FAQ
• iPHONE APP • ANDROID APP • FACEBOOK • TWITTER • YOUTUBE • MERCH •

••• CLICK HERE FOR AMT194 •••

Are there any vets* reading this? We’ve just received an emergency call from James from Washington DC:

My dog just swallowed a condom.

Will he be ok???

Readers – will he? Does James need to perform emergency surgery with the stick with which they were playing fetch? Should he try to get the dog to puke up the offending item? And does he need to take any special measures to avoid catching an STD from the inadvisable snack?

*or staff of the family planning clinic

SUBSCRIBE WITH iTUNES • AMT BOOK • QUESTION ARCHIVE • EPISODES • FAQ
• iPHONE APP • ANDROID APP • FACEBOOK • TWITTER • YOUTUBE • MERCH •