Author Archive

bookshop bogs

January 12, 2010

We love that the podcast encourages you lot to share. Or do we? Does Ed in Halifax, Nova Scotia just feel comfortable in our relationship, or is it a case of TMI? He says:

I was just now listening to episode 121 and was inspired to write to you after hearing listener Chris’s question “Why do I get the urge to squirt dirt whenever I visit a second-hand bookshop?”
This happens to me too!
It’s been happening for years!
And often enough that I have actually given it some thought.
I think I have a reasonable explanation that does not require some twisted mental association between books and excrement, leaving the works of ________________________ (insert name of your least favourite but wildly popular author… I choose Dan Brown):

1) I like books, so I tend to spend more time per visit in bookshops than in other types of shops.
2) Most used book shops I have visited contain jumbled piles of books and over-stuffed shelves that require even more time to find books of interest.
4) When I pay a long visit to a bookshop (45 minutes to more than an hour) I’m standing still for longer and getting more and more relaxed.
4) Confirmation bias: I claim that book shops ALWAYS makes me want to drown the kittens, but really, I think it has actually happened about six times in my adult life (I am 47 years old) that I have had to urgently leave the book shop in search of a drop-off spot for the hostages. But each time it happens it’s a much more memorable event than all the times it didn’t happen. I’m sure I have made more grunt sculptures at theaters and restaurants, but that just seems more expected, and so less memorable.
5) I suppose if you are the sort of person who makes a habit of reading while sequestered in the fortress of solitude, it is possible that you have a very direct and obvious mental association with reading and putting your thoughts down on paper.

In conclusion, I think it mostly comes down to the amount of time I have spent in bookshops making it more likely that I will be in a bookshop when it becomes necessary to beam down William Shatner.

Ed, we’ll let you off the charge of over-sharing because of your outstanding euphemisms.

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So it was all a dream? Oh.

January 12, 2010

In Episode 121 we talked about decent films that are somewhat cocked up by unfitting endings. Neil from Bexleyheath sees Vicky from Oxted’s shock at the ending of Lolita and raises her The House of Flying Daggers. I’d like to add From Dusk Till Dawn (stupid!), Away We Go (too sentimental!) and The Lovely Bones (I’ve not seen the film, but if it’s anything like the book, the ending is big hairy ball). But what do YOU think? Commit your opinions in a comment below!

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Listeners, you make us so proud

January 11, 2010

Martin the Sound Man just wishes he’d thought to use Britain’s current cold snap to reinvent snowballs. But alas for him, Mark in Grimsby and friends have beaten him to it:

College was closed so me and my friends put the day to good use and made a giant dick on a hill next to a footpath 🙂

Can a pile of snow be NSFW? If not, click on the thumbnails to see the full-sized snowcock and balls!

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EPISODE 121 – ‘flange’ was a bad choice of word

January 7, 2010

Welcome, listeners, to the first Answer Me This! of 2010:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we speak of:

the Next sales
Sherlock Holmes
sweetbreads
condominiums
the son of Sam
Golden Wonder
Stanley Kubrick
the Queen’s Speech
Scotch woodcock
Johnny Carson
snake lungs
Anne Frank
and
the best public lavatories in Balham.

Furthermore: Olly manages to draw comparison between Lolita and Match of the Day; Helen manages to draw comparison between estate agents and kidnapped children; and Martin the Sound Man manages to draw comparison between a suitable Christmas present for his girlfriend and a DVD boxset about serial killers. Let’s hope he didn’t buy it for research purposes.

We’ve a list of chores for you to do this week:
1) click here to get yourself a free Audible audiobook;
2) share your neuroses, like shark-fearing questioneer Bunty did, in a comment on this post;
3) decide for the world whether humans are red meat or white meat by voting in this poll
4) if you’re still steaming about Walkers Crisps’ packet colours (and frankly, we aren’t), sign the petition;
5) listen to Martin the Sound Man’s latest music podcast;
6) and, of course, send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

So, after you’ve done all those, we’ll see you next week for Episode 122!

Helen and Olly

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Breast or leg?

January 7, 2010

Ok listeners, let’s settle this issue once and for all. The world must abide by your decision. Vote!

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Now here is a hoot!

January 4, 2010

** Click here for The Best of Answer Me This! 2009 – Part II **

Thanks so much everyone for all your lovely comments about our first proper radio show, Web 2009 with Helen and Olly. And thanks even more to the renegade YouTuber, who took one of our favourite bits of the show and did this with it:


Vocals by Joanna Neary. Videos by show-offs everywhere.

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Web 2009 with Helen and Olly

January 1, 2010

** Click here for The Best of Answer Me This! 2009 – Part II **

Happy New Year, chums!

We saw out 2009 in pleasing and civilised fashion, and we hope you did too. But, thanks to pre-recording, on New Year’s Eve we also presented a radio show, Web 2009 with Helen and Olly. It was our first ever proper radio programme, and we would be ever so happy if you would listen to it; it’ll be available until Thursday 7th January, so CLICK HERE to do so via BBC iplayer, or download it as a podcast from the BBC website.

And if you wouldn’t mind telling your radio-and-internet-loving friends about it, tweeting it, or posting it up on Facebook, then we owe you a lollipop the next time we see you. Which, if you go to the same gym as Olly, is probably quite soon.

Links to all the nominees and winners are below – and another good link is THIS ONE to Martin the Sound Man’s free EP of songs about space. Give it a whirl!

Helen and Olly’s 2009 Web Awards went to:

David Schneider after winning our 'Tweeter of the Year' award

PUBLIC SERVICE OF THE YEAR
Our award for the sites that have become entirely essential this year. We never leave the house without them.
* Spotify *
– Google Streetview
– The Arts Desk
– Nicecritic
– DeathSwitch

WEB FEUD OF THE YEAR
Our celebration of the best online scraps of the year – the unfolding dramas of real, raw arguments that, thanks to the global public forum that is the internet, we can all enjoy.
* Megan Fox vs. the Transformers crew *
– Guido Fawkes vs. Derek Draper
– Stephen Fry vs. @BrumPlum
– Michael Chopra vs. Heather Swan
– Perez Hilton vs. Carrie Prejean

TWEETER OF THE YEAR
Our favourite short-form communicators of the past twelve months.
* David Schneider *
– John Prescott
– Phillip Schofield
– Richard Bacon
– Mrs Stephen Fry

TIME-WASTER OF THE YEAR
Useful as the internet can be, let’s not forget its primary function: frittering your time away. What has been the major enemy of productivity in 2009?
* My Very Worst Date *
– ’25 Random Things About Me’
– Cake Wrecks
– Letters of Note
– AnaFace

EPIC FAIL OF THE YEAR
Our award for those embarrassing moments that went viral in 2009.
* Gordon Brown on YouTube *
– The Baby Shaker iPhone App
– Kimberley Swann is fired
– John X from Cornell Business School
– Christian Bale’s on-set rant

ONLINE JAPE OF THE YEAR
In the olden days, pranks involved propping a bucket of water on the top of a door, or thrusting stinging nettles down someone’s pants. But the internet has opened up a whole new world of mischief…
* Ross Noble’s Twitterbomb Tuesday *
– upside-down YouTube
– Computertan.com
– renegade reviewers on Amazon
– Classic songs reinterpreted by Microsoft Songsmith

INTERNET SONG OF THE YEAR
Who was our Joe McElderry, and who will be our Rage Against The Machine?
* ‘United Breaks Guitars’ by Dave Carroll *
– ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by the Muppets
– ‘Goodbye Twitter’ by Miley Cyrus
– ‘Hot and Cold’ by Los Colorados
– ‘Poker Face’ by Walt Ribeiro

WEBLEBRITY OF THE YEAR
The award for the internet star to have shot furthest in the online firmament this year
* Jill and Kevin *
– Susan Boyle
– Tavi Gevinson
– Little Boots
– ‘Poo Girl’

And finally, the LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD went to 104-year-old Ivy Bean, the oldest person on Twitter and, quite possibly, the whole of the internet…

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Twelve days of WRONG

December 17, 2009

** Click here for the Best of Answer Me This! 2009 – Part I **

Following Episode 120, in which we discussed whether ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ refers to an over-generous poultry lover or to a whole load of God Stuff, both Judy in San Francisco and Andrew in Southampton wrote in to tell us that whatever we said was a big plate of Wrong Pie. Their counter-evidence was this:

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/music/12days.asp

OK listeners. It’s tug-of-love time. Whom do you love more, us or Snopes? Huh?

This could get ugly.

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AMT Colonies

December 14, 2009

** Click here for the Best of AMT 2009 – Part 1 **

It’s almost exactly two years since we cracked Luxembourg, and therefore high time we set our sights on another country. But which one do you think we should go for? Andorra? Djibouti? Vatican City?

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Have you seen this manbag?

December 10, 2009

** Click here for Episode 120 **

This is a bit like those small-ads you see in the paper saying, “Saw you on the District Line, you were wearing a scarf, I was the girl who dropped my headphones. Drink?”, only non-romantic. James from Sheffield seeks like-minded individual for minor acquaintance or minor friendship:

I’m in my first year at the University of Sheffield, and on Registration Day (in September) I saw somebody with an Answer Me This bag. This came as a surprise, as I’m certain that there can’t be too many
Answer Me This fans out there 😉 Unfortunately I was in a queue at the time so I did not have the opportunity to introduce myself as a fellow fan of the podcast.

So, taking a sort of non-romantic “Missed Connections” approach, would you please be able to give a shout-out to “the guy with the answer me this bag who was in the registration room for first year students at Sheffield university” and see if he responds to the shout-out? You would be providing a valuable public service, uniting Answer Me This fans across South Yorkshire!!

Readers! If you are that man – or you know that man – then please get in touch, and we’ll set you up on a playdate with James.

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bath-eating

December 10, 2009

** Click here for Episode 120 **

Here’s a question we could not answer from Beckles:

Last Saturday I was listening to you whilst I was in the bath. When I was in the bath I treated myself to a little snack of corn on the cob. Weird I know but I’m fine with it. It did however make me think of a question to ask you.

So please Helen, Olly and Martin, answer me this; what is the most unusual thing you have ever eaten in the bath?

We polled ourselves, and the answer was NOTHING, because none of us are fans of combining eating and washing. Even though that’s cutting out valuable scoffing time. But listeners, you seem the kind of people who are comfortable with eating in the same room as a lavatory pan: tell us of your most outlandish bath snack in a comment below!

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EPISODE 120 – a cow is for life, not just for Christmas

December 3, 2009

This week Andrew asked what sort of chairs we sit on to do the podcast. Well, see above. Then click below for what happened when we sat on them to make Answer Me This! Episode 120:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we speak of:

living rooms vs. front rooms
the voice of Jennifer Jason Leigh
the Flying Pickets
Rihanna
John Spilsbury
‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’
the Regent Street Lights, sponsored by A Christmas Carol
child brides
old man attire
and
Hamburg Port.

Plus: Olly defends the Citroen Pluriel against accusations of shitness; Helen decodes the Roman Catholics; and Martin the Sound Man preaches armchair socialism from a chair without arms. To make up for it, he has a new EP for all you chaps to download absolutely free – visit his Sound of the Ladies website for the complimentary goods.

Then, before you settle into your straw-lined cardboard box for three months’ hibernation, send us YOUR QUESTIONS, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

See you next week, for the Best of Answer Me This! 2009 Part 1!

Helen and Olly

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