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EPISODE 309: Have It Your Way

March 5, 2015

We’re a crossword clue and a powerful influence upon Burger King’s business plans; what might Answer Me This! Episode 309 wreak?

On today’s agenda:

existential cats vs existential dogs
Garfield vs Falstaff
Gotham vs Gotham
cookies vs soup
Woodstock
Shazam at funerals
Audrey Hepburn’s pet fawn
Tippi Hedren’s pet lion
Mike Tyson’s pet tiger
Mike Tyson’s pet pigeons
Nicolas Cage’s pet octopus
baked bean baths
Cuckoo Bush Mound
stage weapons
sexy spaghetti
and
Olly’s ABSOLUTELY UNCANNY impression of Ben Affleck as Batman.

Plus: here’s our previous work on the origins of Gotham City; here’s some advice for you if you’re planning a sexy spagetti bath; let us know what your most uncomfortable and gross charity endeavour was; and would you whip out your phone to Shazam this song during a funeral?

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (get it for iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets) there’s a little more about the history of Gotham. We think we’ve triangulated where Catwoman is pursuing her postgrad education.

Send us questions, please! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can also keep us company online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll be back on 19th March 2015 with AMT310, hopefully you will be too.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT309 Child-Friendly Rating: 70%. The language is coarse, but the content isn’t particularly. •••

• ALBUMS • CLASSIC EPISODES • BOOK • iTUNES • SOUNDCLOUD • FAQ •
iPHONE APP • ANDROID APP • FACEBOOK • TWITTER • YOUTUBE • MERCH

Tags:actors, animal rescue, animal sanctuaries, Ann Widdecombe, Annette Bening, Arkham City, Audrey Hepburn, bad ideas, baked bean baths, baked beans, baths, Batman, beans, beasts, Ben Affleck, big cats, birds, Bruce Wayne, Burger King, cartoon animals, cartoons, charity, Charles M Schultz, children, Christian Bale, clues, comic books, Comic Relief, comic strips, comics, computer programming, cookies, crosswords, Cuckoo Bush Mound, death, deer, dogs, donkeys, Doomsday Book, ELO, Elvis Presley, fast food, fast food delivery, fawns, fighting, food, food delivery, fun, fundraising, funerals, Garfield, goats, Gotham, Gotham City, gunge tank, Hollywood, Hollywood pets, internet, Jan de Bont, Jonathan Jeremiah, Justin Bieber, kids, lions, Loughborough, Mail on Sunday, Mel Ferrer, Melanie Griffith, Mike Tyson, mobile phones, Mr Blue Sky, music, Netscape, Nicolas Cage, Nottinghamshire, octopus, opera, peanuts, pets, pigeons, place names, props, Red Nose Day, rubber swords, sex tips, Shazam, smartphones, SMS, Snoopy, social networking, social networks, songs, soup, spaghetti, stage fighting, swords, tech, tech terms, text messages, The Andy Williams Show, The Hangover, theatrical, tigers, Tippi Hedren, Twitter, Washington Irving, weapons, web, wild animals, Woodstock, Xerox
Posted in PODCASTS | 3 Comments »

EPISODE 298 – White Bread World

September 18, 2014

Happy Scottish Referendum Day, everyone! To commemorate, in Answer Me This! Episode 298 we decipher what Scotland’s finest non-whisky exports the Proclaimers were going on about. Vote YES to listening:

We also contemplate:

actors’ posthumous endorsements
Jacob Frank
godparenting
James Brown’s bridge vs Robbie Williams’s bridge
Henry Hoover
tubby Ryan Gosling vs Peter Jackson
tubby Jared Leto vs gout
tubby Christian Bale vs emaciated Christian Bale vs tubby Christian Bale vs emaciated Christian Bale
being shot in the shoulder vs being shot in the ball
and
‘Uptown Girl’.

Plus: Olly’s pet Roomba hates not hiding under the sofa; Helen hates disco; and Martin the Sound Man hates the ethics of the contracts for Baywatch, which is bad news for anybody hoping of a revival of that show starring Martin. Him running in slowmo down a beach, haversack full of microphones swaying seductively, will have to remain only in your imagination.

Ahem.

In today’s Bit of Crap on the App, which is available for iDevices old and new, Android or Windows playthings, we continue Cathy’s question about godparenting, and whether you’re obliged to buy a silver spoon for a baby. Because what says ‘Welcome to the world!’ as much as a spoon that tastes weird? Maybe we should start putting around the rumour that the traditional christening gift for godchildren is one of our albums or vintage episodes from answermethisstore.com. They’ll probably grow into it.

We cannot grow without your QUESTIONS, so call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And be our online friend at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com, for sponsoring this episode, for allowing people to build and host websites easily and beautifully, and for offering you 10% off their services for a whole year if you use the code Answer.

And joy of all joys, Martin the Sound Man has a delightful new album out, available now HERE. Make an old Sound Man happy by downloading those sounds.

We will return with AMT299 (TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY FRICKING NINE!!!!) on 2nd October, and we hope you do too.

Yours haveringly,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT298 Child-Friendly Rating: 52%. A few medium-ranking swears and an F-level swear. Discussion of dick-shaped vacuum cleaners and Barry Manilow’s penis, which latter may prove traumatic for all ages. •••

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Tags:1980s, 1990s, 500 Miles, 80s, action films, actors, anthropomorphized things, Audrey Hepburn, balls, Barry Manilow, Batmobile, Baywatch, Billy Joel, bodies, brands, bread, bridges, bullet wounds, children, Christian Bale, Christie Brinkley, Chumbawumba, class, cleaning, compilations, contracts, contractual obligations, crash diets, Dallas Buyers' Club, Danny Wilson, dieting, diets, disco, Elle McPherson, faces, film cliches, film stars, films, firearms, food, Frankist Movement, funk, genitalia, genitals, gifts, godchildren, godfather, godmother, godparents, gout, guns, gunshots, Henry Hoover, Hollywood, household appliances, Hunger Games, injuries, Jacob Frank, James Brown, Jared Leto, Kenny Loggins, language, lyrics, Mark Chapman, Mark Wahlberg, Marky Mark, Matthew McConaughey, Megan Fox, Miley Cyrus, mixes, movie stars, movies, muscles, music, Numatic, penis, Peter Jackson, Philip Seymour Hoffman, physique, pop, port, presents, processed foods, product history, Raging Bull, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Robbie Williams, Robert De Niro, Roomba, Rufus Hound, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Salt'n'Pepa, Scotland, Scottish, shooting, slang, smiley faces, Solomon Burke, soul, spiritual guidance, Squarespace, status symbols, students, testicles, the bridge, The Lovely Bones, The Machinist, The Proclaimers, Uptown Girl, vacuum cleaners, Vengaboys, weight gain, weight loss, Westlife, white bread, Will Smith, wine, Yeovil
Posted in PODCASTS | 1 Comment »

Web 2009 with Helen and Olly

January 1, 2010

** Click here for The Best of Answer Me This! 2009 – Part II **

Happy New Year, chums!

We saw out 2009 in pleasing and civilised fashion, and we hope you did too. But, thanks to pre-recording, on New Year’s Eve we also presented a radio show, Web 2009 with Helen and Olly. It was our first ever proper radio programme, and we would be ever so happy if you would listen to it; it’ll be available until Thursday 7th January, so CLICK HERE to do so via BBC iplayer, or download it as a podcast from the BBC website.

And if you wouldn’t mind telling your radio-and-internet-loving friends about it, tweeting it, or posting it up on Facebook, then we owe you a lollipop the next time we see you. Which, if you go to the same gym as Olly, is probably quite soon.

Links to all the nominees and winners are below – and another good link is THIS ONE to Martin the Sound Man’s free EP of songs about space. Give it a whirl!

Helen and Olly’s 2009 Web Awards went to:

David Schneider after winning our 'Tweeter of the Year' award

PUBLIC SERVICE OF THE YEAR
Our award for the sites that have become entirely essential this year. We never leave the house without them.
* Spotify *
– Google Streetview
– The Arts Desk
– Nicecritic
– DeathSwitch

WEB FEUD OF THE YEAR
Our celebration of the best online scraps of the year – the unfolding dramas of real, raw arguments that, thanks to the global public forum that is the internet, we can all enjoy.
* Megan Fox vs. the Transformers crew *
– Guido Fawkes vs. Derek Draper
– Stephen Fry vs. @BrumPlum
– Michael Chopra vs. Heather Swan
– Perez Hilton vs. Carrie Prejean

TWEETER OF THE YEAR
Our favourite short-form communicators of the past twelve months.
* David Schneider *
– John Prescott
– Phillip Schofield
– Richard Bacon
– Mrs Stephen Fry

TIME-WASTER OF THE YEAR
Useful as the internet can be, let’s not forget its primary function: frittering your time away. What has been the major enemy of productivity in 2009?
* My Very Worst Date *
– ’25 Random Things About Me’
– Cake Wrecks
– Letters of Note
– AnaFace

EPIC FAIL OF THE YEAR
Our award for those embarrassing moments that went viral in 2009.
* Gordon Brown on YouTube *
– The Baby Shaker iPhone App
– Kimberley Swann is fired
– John X from Cornell Business School
– Christian Bale’s on-set rant

ONLINE JAPE OF THE YEAR
In the olden days, pranks involved propping a bucket of water on the top of a door, or thrusting stinging nettles down someone’s pants. But the internet has opened up a whole new world of mischief…
* Ross Noble’s Twitterbomb Tuesday *
– upside-down YouTube
– Computertan.com
– renegade reviewers on Amazon
– Classic songs reinterpreted by Microsoft Songsmith

INTERNET SONG OF THE YEAR
Who was our Joe McElderry, and who will be our Rage Against The Machine?
* ‘United Breaks Guitars’ by Dave Carroll *
– ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by the Muppets
– ‘Goodbye Twitter’ by Miley Cyrus
– ‘Hot and Cold’ by Los Colorados
– ‘Poker Face’ by Walt Ribeiro

WEBLEBRITY OF THE YEAR
The award for the internet star to have shot furthest in the online firmament this year
* Jill and Kevin *
– Susan Boyle
– Tavi Gevinson
– Little Boots
– ‘Poo Girl’

And finally, the LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD went to 104-year-old Ivy Bean, the oldest person on Twitter and, quite possibly, the whole of the internet…

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Tags:Cake Wrecks, Carrie Prejean, Christian Bale, Dave Carroll, David Schneider, Derek Draper, Goodbye Twitter, Google, Gordon Brown, Guido Fawkes, Heather Swan, Jill and Kevin, John Prescott, Los Colorados, Megan Fox, Michael Chopra, Microsoft Songsmith, Miley Cyrus, Mrs Stephen Fry, Muppet Bohemian Rhapsody, Perez Hilton, Phillip Schofield, Richard Bacon, Ross Noble, Spotify, Stephen Fry, Streetview, Susan Boyle, Tavi Gevinson, Transformers, Walt Ribeiro
Posted in extracurricular activities, frippery, News | 6 Comments »