Archive for the ‘Answer Us Back! Your time to opine’ Category

rusty sweat

June 27, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT220

Demetrios has been in touch with a pH-interesting response to AMT220:

In reference to Rory Gallagher’s guitar and the question of rusting sweat, there is a phenomenon of people whose sweat is particularly rust-inducing. They are called, creatively, “Rusters”, and though I am not one, I know of some Rusters who can’t safely handle metal, because the surface of whatever they’re holding will actually begin to oxidize slightly if held long enough.

I have not researched this before, but a brief Google search yields two articles from 1979 in the Acta Dermato-Venereologica which test and confirm a subtle degree of corrosion in low-copper metals from palmar sweat. Certainly, the effect is weak, and does not necessarily translate to corrosion of guitar-surface lacquer, the chemistry of which I don’t know.

Personally, I think that the power to very, very slowly degrade metal is a lame mutant power, and should be the basis for a super team called “The Corroders”.

Well the craze for superhero films is showing few signs of waning, so readers, go to the comments, write the plot summary for the first installment of the potential Corroders franchise, and we’ll send out a pitch to the Weinsteins.

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Power Plate proponent

June 19, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT219

It’s not the proper peer-reviewed scientific study of the efficacy of Power Plate for which we asked at the end of AMT219, but it certainly is a ringing endorsement from Rebecca from Loughton:

I have been using Power Plate for a few months and it definately does work with toning! You don’t just stand on it but perform exercises and specifically ones which strengthen your core so it really does make a difference. I for one have lost a stone which I hadn’t done with similar exercise alone!

The evidence is persuasive, but where’s your control experiment, Rebecca? We cannot grant our approval to Power Plate until we have seen the alterna-universe Rebeccas from Loughton, one of whom who spent the same year not doing anything different to usual, and the other doing the same exercises on a non-vibrating plate. Ask them to write in.

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LMFAO-levels

June 12, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT218

Following our discussion of LMFAO’s ‘Sexy and I know it’ in AMT215, Ashlyns School felt moved to share their sixth form leavers’ video with us. Enjoy their exuberance, but don’t have inappropriate feelings about a bunch of schoolchildren proclaiming their own sexiness and knowledge thereof, OK? OK.

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1upmanship

June 12, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT218

Lucky for us, Finlay from Edinburgh but now in Tokyo speaks fluent Super Mario:

In the latest podcast you mentioned the phrase “1-up”. This is a classic example of Japanese English: basically, when the Japanese borrow words from English, sometimes the meanings change.

In this case, the Japanese word(s) for “up”, usually represented by the character 上 (down is 下, in case you were wondering), have a wider range of meanings than the English word “up”, including things like go up, increase, get up, over, on, and so on. When they borrowed the English word “up”, it was applied to a wider range of meanings, in this case particularly the one meaning “increase”. Another word that was changed is “get”; they use it when they achieve something.

Some of these phrases eventually filter back into English, so you often see 1UP and GET in videogames, and internet denizens sometimes use get in phrases like FIRST POST GET!!

And that is today’s lesson about linguistic borrowing. We’re all learning through play, we really are.

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Singin’ in the WHAT NOW????

June 7, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT217

Apropos of last week’s question about the water in Singin’ in the Rain, John writes in to tell us something which, in its own way, explains why the hosepipe ban might not pertain:

As a painter in theatre, I meet a lot of crew with many and varied stories about theatre, T.V. and rock stars. My friend Steve was a member of the crew of the touring version of Singin’ In The Rain which led directly to the West End revival; he is usually a reliable source, and tells me that one of the stars was such a massive cock that a part of the set-up in any new venue was for the amassed crew to meet in the fly tower to piss in the water tank.

The tour consisted of 64 dates of being pissed-on in the rain.

Readers, if you’re thinking of attending a watery stage show, do NOT sit near the front.

Do not get a job in the orchestra pit either; those poor guys are effectively working in a latrine.

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No job for Garry’s knob

June 6, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT217

On the subject of unfortunate postal dispatches as contemplated in AMT216, Garry from Sussex has a tale from which we learn to exercise caution when recycling stationery:

As an art student I agreed to be a nudey photo model for a fellow student. Soon after she gave me a sheet of contact prints in a large brown envelope.

Some time after that I was applying for a job – back in the days when they asked you to send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to put your application form in.

I was at first a little nonplussed when I was sent an application form with a sheet of pictures of me with my knob out – how on earth did they get them? I thought.

Don’t seem to recall getting the job.

I’m surprised – I thought we were always being told to make our CVs and covering letters stand out! As it were.

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porn by post

May 29, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT216

Here’s a question of mail redirection from Simon:

Just listening to AMT216 regarding receiving something meant for someone else. My wife and I bought a house just over a year ago. We paid for Royal Mail to redirect our post from the old place to the new one; however the people we bought the new place from didn’t.

As they had moved only a few streets over to a bigger house, and we are nice people, we dropped off the unwanted mail to them. Until last week when we received two brown envelopes that had not been sealed.

Out of these two envelopes dropped four DVDs with very explicit porn pictures on them.

Answer me this: should we i) casually post these discs without saying anything to them, ii) make a big song and dance about them because my 4-year-old son could have picked them up and it would have caused all kind of questions from him, or iii) as they were addressed to the husband, give them to the wife as he’s a sex-starved idiot who can’t cover his tracks and she might take the hint he has ‘specialist’ needs?

You forget iv) keep them for your own ‘specialist needs’.

I’d opt for the first solution of non-comment, because I don’t see the benefit to you of intruding further into the private life of a couple you barely know. After all, there could be a perfectly innocent explanation – LoveFilm may simply have got their order wrong.

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Live with…Olly’s cat Coco

May 29, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT216

Last week, Olly bemoaned the apparent bias towards the faces of ordinary boring children in the photoframe on the desk on Channel 5’s Live With…. And when Olly Mann bemoans, the world sits up with a start and pays attention! We were thrilled and astonished to receive the following email from The Live With… Team:

Thanks so much for mentioning Channel 5’s “Live with….” on the podcast last week.

Unfortunately you’re wrong that we only have babies as our face in the frame – we’ve had men and women of all ages, and a number of dogs. But we have never had a cat – so if you’d like to send us a photo of Coco, we’d be delighted for her to be the first.

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

We’ll find out which day you need to tune in to Live With… Fern Britton later this week to see the inaugural cat-in-the-frame moment.

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where to forget Sarah Marshall

May 24, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT215

If you were planning a holiday based on Jason Segel films, Phil from Christchurch, Dorset has done some research you might find useful:

In Episode 214 you questioned whether the hotel in Forgetting Sarah Marshallhas receptionists as attractive as actress Mila Kunis.

I’ve been lucky enough to spend a few weeks in the same beach house used by Russell Brand in the film (the Turtle Bay Resort in Hawaii) and I can confirm that although their receptionists were helpful and efficient, they were either men or more ‘traditionally Hawaiian’ in shape. In fact the reception shown in the film was a temporary and much smaller fake one plonked next to the hotel’s hugely overpriced jewellery store.

I wonder what Phil was doing there for ‘a few weeks’. Perhaps recovering from being dumped by Kristen Bell and wondering whether his puppet Dracula musical might get him any new ladies.

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Michael the archer: how’s he doing?

May 21, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT215

Many, many, many of you have written to find out whether Michael the archer from AMT186 made it into Team GB to do archery at the London 2012 Olympics.

It is with great disappointment I am writing to you to tell you that I have failed to make the GB archery team for this summer’s Olympic Games.

It was a close battle but even with the entertainment you gave me, I was only able to get 4th, just outside of the team of three. So I will be spending the summer as Olympic reserve and hoping none of my teammates “fall down any stairs”.

So answer me this: have I wasted my money, career, time and life in this endeavour? If I have, it does not feel like it to me 🙂

It is good you feel that way, and that you can still smile about it! To us – people who will never ever be anywhere close to qualifying for any reserve Olympic team (at least not until ‘eating the largest number of dim sum in one sitting’ or ‘scooting a swivel chair across an uncarpeted floor’ become official events) – your achievement is already very impressive.

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Kris update: bitch still being bitch

May 16, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT214

In case you were wondering how fares Kris from Durham from last week’s episode, he has written to update us on how his ex-girlfriend continues to take advantage of him:

Last week she said the animal rescue she worked for needed help with posters for an event as their graphic designer had dropped them last minute. Guess which bloody muggins went and did the work! ME. OK, it was for “Charidee” and it saves little dogs’ and cats’ lives, but you’re right – she’s being a twat.

She even said “This is really fucked up, isn’t it? That I keep asking you for advice on him and all that jazz?” I’m aware it’s beyond cretinous of me to think that this gentleman (who she’s already expressing concerns over, due to his lack of texting in between their dates) has no future and that realistically I can and should try to win her back?

I don’t want to get all Romeo and Juliet on things, but I genuinely love her, it was just a bumpy patch and long distance is a twat at the best of times. Truth be told, we’d discussed the future, and she was drunk.

I’ve genuinely no idea what to do?

We already told you what to do, Kris: CUT OUT THIS SELFISH BITCH. She’s happy to keep stringing you along while she’s exploring other options; she has already shown gross insensitivity in regaling you with tales of her sexual exploits with somebody else; and now she’s also taking advantage of your professional skills for free! Why why why why WHY would you want to win back this prize piece?

Tough love time, Kris – here’s what you have to do:
i) stop answering her calls and emails;
ii) give yourself some time to grieve for the relationship, without her popping up all the time to ruin your progress with learning to live without her;
iii) get some self-respect;
iv) send her an invoice for the posters.

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cans of doom

May 16, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT214

As we said last week, we are too lazy to decant canned foods, but Scott has been in touch to tell us how we can expect to die from doing so:

I work at a hotel so I’ve attended many a mandatory food safety training course. I can tell you as far as I know there are three (dubious) reasons why you shouldn’t store food in opened cans:

1. Botulism. Historically you could get botulism from canned food. Apparently the botulism spores stick to the inside of the can, so storing the food in the can will increase exposure to the spores. However with modern canning processes, botulism has been pretty much eradicated.

2. People tend to leave metal utensils in the cans as well. Two different metals in a liquid that is salty or acidic can create a battery. This electrolytic reaction can alter the chemical composition of the food which could be bad. i.e. corrode the metal in the can into the food.

3. In commercial kitchens chefs who don’t decant cans are lazy and therefore may be too lazy to have good hygiene practices. (This is the main reason I was given.)

I do know that if you own a commercial kitchen and you have a visit from an environmental health officer, there is a pretty hefty fine if they find any food stored in opened cans – I think it’s in the thousands.

Thanks, Scott! We are unlikely to change our lazy ways; in fact we will be intensifying the laziness by no longer answering the doorbell, in case it is an environmental health officer.

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