romance | Answer Me This! Podcast

Posts Tagged ‘romance’

EPISODE 105 – www.sanctimoniouspartybags.com

August 20, 2009

Salutations, listeners!

Today’s the start of Ramadan, so best of luck with that, Muslim listeners; we’d imagine a daylight fast would be considerably easier at a time of year when the days weren’t still so damn long, but maybe Answer Me This! Episode 105 will help take your mind off it:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Therein we talk upon the following matters:

lunch dates
Danelectro guitars
Greek GCSE (ancient, not modern)
sodium hydroxide
Noah’s ark
North Dublin
Dyson Ball
Helen’s granny’s anecdotes (granecdotes?)
evolution favouring Agatha Christie
Michael Palin
and
East Croydon.

Plus: had he not liked TV so much, Olly could have been a priest by now; Helen invites you all to take a turn in Martin the Sound Man’s beard; and Martin the Sound Man manages to analogise Girls Aloud to crisps, albeit unconvincingly.

Also, because we are Vampires feeding off the Misery and Failure of others, if you have managed to do a massive fuck-up in a job interview like Neal from Crawley, please tell us all about it by posting a comment below; and as ever, send us your QUESTIONS in the form of an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or a voice message via Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

Oh and if you’re a fan of buying stuff, you might enjoy some of our new Merch from www.cafepress.com/answermethis. If you like looking at Martin the Sound Man’s face, you might covet one of these; or if you like sitting on our faces, how about this?

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:children, cohabitation, death, etymology, facial hair, faux pas, Girls Aloud, greed, jobs, Michael Jackson, money, parties, poetry, romance
Posted in PODCASTS, User-generated answers | 15 Comments »

EPISODE 104 – sex my puppet

August 13, 2009

Hideho, listeners,

It’s this time of year where we find it difficult to do much beyond faffing, time-wasting and procrastinating. But fortunately we managed to rise from our couches of sloth long enough to bring out Episode 104:

Wherein we speak of:

armchair geography
the mockery of medical students
brie
Olly’s missing kidney
the Observer Food Monthly celebrity shopping-basket critiques
big bully Russia
bunk beds
Dr Gunter von Hagens
Terry Wogan
and
what Big and the army have in common.

Furthermore, Helen busts out an unexpected St Etienne cover, Olly reveals his wish to dress like a 4-year-old girl in a nativity play, and Martin the Sound Man says he hates to dent Olly’s ego although he clearly does NOT hate that AT ALL.

Our complaints department also rumbles into action, so we’d just like to reiterate that if you send us a question and it doesn’t get answered, it’s nothing personal, ok? We love you all equally! Read our FAQ to see our various excuses for not keeping up with every question you donate; keep the faith, and keep sending us your QUESTIONS in the form of an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or a voice message via Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. We can’t promise to answer, but we’ll do our best! (Although we will do our better best if you slip us a brown envelope full of tenners…)

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:aviation, children, cleaning, cohabitation, complaints, corpses, death, entertainment, food, former USSR, internal organs, linguistics, medical, music, puppets, romance, semen, siblings, sleeping, teenagers in love, vegetarianism
Posted in PODCASTS | 3 Comments »

Toyboy

August 5, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 102 **

Readers, it’s time to get your oar in to this romantic dilemma from Amelia from London:

I have recently started going out with this really nice guy. He is funny, smart and not a generic prat like most of the teenage boys I know.

But there is one problem: he is in the year below me and I keep getting called a cradle snatcher, amongst other things so offensive I dare not put them in this email for fear of upsetting Martin the sound man. So answer me this, What do I do?

Courage, Amelia; we think if you go for option 3, the potential teasing will abate pretty quickly – show no shame, and the haterzzzz really won’t have a great deal to go on. And actually, their reaction might be less bad than you think: thanks to Halle Berry, Demi Moore et al, being a cougar is all the rage these days!

But readers, what do you think? VOTE!

We’ve got an alternative suggestion too, if none of the above work: tell everyone he is in fact two years older than you, but was held back in school because he is very stupid.

And at least the whole affair is considerably less transgressive than this very modern romance.

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Tags:romance, school, shame, teenagers in love
Posted in User-generated answers | 10 Comments »

You may now kiss the bride…if her faceful of bees doesn’t put you off.

July 27, 2009

** Click here for Episode 101 **

In Episode 101 Helen sounded off about the homogeneity of wedding photos on Facebook. Then she felt a little bit guilty about it, until an ambassador of the Lord Almighty emailed in to confirm her jaundiced views – Adrian, a priest from Belfast:

I completely agree with your determination that, no matter the details, most weddings are basically the same! Obviously it’s part of my job, and weddings are really great things to be part of; but so far there’s been very little that has made any weddings at which I’ve officiated different from the others, special though each one was.

So, in order for me to appropriately advise couples in relation to their approaching nuptials, Helen and Olly, answer me this: what on earth can anyone do to make their wedding interesting and different without making it a gimmick-laden waste of time for all involved?

Well of course everyone in the whole world has given this wedding gimmick the thumbs up; and I doubt one would forget the ceremonies of these brave chaps or this possibly friendless groom. But readers, let’s consider couples who don’t see themselves as dancers or zoophiles: what other charming ways can you think of to distinguish one’s nuptials from the rest? Please comment below! And no, splashing out on the napkin rings will NOT cut the mustard…

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Tags:romance, weddings
Posted in Answer Us Back! Your time to opine, User-generated answers | 2 Comments »

EPISODE 101 – like The Wire, but in Crystal Palace

July 23, 2009

Dear space cadets,

It’s been 40 years since the moon landings, can you believe! Well, we’re sure you can; those things were bloody AGES ago. But can you even believe it’s been a whole week since AMT100? Not as impressive a quantity of time as has elapsed since men got space-dust on their shoes, to be sure; but it’s somewhat relevant here because it means it’s time for Episode 101:

In this episode we wag our chins about:

Fanny Hill
Waitrose
Juicy Couture
the cakewalk
Paul Merton vs. George Orwell
Mr Kipling and his maverick ‘Like This, Try This’ feature
Animal Cops Houston
Adrian Mole’s diet
shell suits
Manor House
nuptual napery
Crocs
and
omelette.

Plus, Olly explains fusion food for plebs; handicrafty Helen offers tips for DIY contraceptives; and Martin the Sound Man turns out to be the only sentient being under the age of 70 to enjoy a dry fruitcake. Of all the cakes in all the world, he just has to go for the crap ones.

You know what we would ALL like more than inedibly dry fruitcake though? Your questions! Thwack them at top speed into our question-basket by sending an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leaving a voice message by Skypeing answermethis or calling 0208 123 5877. Furthermore, please leave a comment below if you can name the album cover that Callum is so keen to identify.

If you are all worn out after that and crave some musical compilations to listen to as you recuperate on your chaise longue, you could check out our inaptly named Celebrity Playlist on iTunes. It works even if you don’t actually have a chaise longue. Fancy! While you’re reclining you can also listen to Helen on the Richard Bacon Show on BBC Live tonight from 11pm-1am, discussing the most pressing topics of the day and trying to stay awake past her bedtime.

That is all for now, so we shall see you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:cake, cohabitation, cookery, crime, dancing, finance, heartbreak, jews, music, romance, sartoria, weddings
Posted in PODCASTS | 1 Comment »

EPISODE 100 – Live centenary extravaganza at the iTunes Festival!

July 16, 2009

episode 100

Fanfares please, readers! For against all odds (given that we expected to be fully estranged WAY before completing the century), Answer Me This! has hit 100. Right in the face. Wallop!

Of course we couldn’t let such a landmark pass in normal fashion; so instead of kicking about in our home studio in Crystal Palace, we trotted across town to the historic Roundhouse in Camden, and recorded the episode in front of an audience of fans and Olly’s extended family as part of the iTunes Live Festival. Technically we were La Roux’s support act, although she was probably cheerfully unaware of this.

To get a fuller sense of the occasion, conjure up a few of the following images to accompany the audio experience:
1. circular room in the bowels of the Roundhouse, that was rather like the innards of a compass
2. balloon animals
3. party bags, including sweeties, cheap plastic toys, sudoku and VERY LOUD party whistles
4. Kanye specs and foil hats.

From the folds of our sparkly centenary cloaks we whipped out such topics as:

i-mutation
dislocated hips
sweaty necks
Dodie Smith
filofaxes
Fortnum’n’Mason
chimichangas
Neo’s address
palindromes
George Orwell
Olly’s Mum
and
a fake egg.

Plus: how the podcast began! What’s really going on with Martin the Sound Man! The practicality of coming out on a podcast! And the future of AMT! Joining us for this cavalcade of fun were Josie Long, Alex Thomas, Tommy Herbert, Matthew Crosby; and joining Martin the Sound Man on bass, uke and drums was Richard Acton of the band Limn. We must also thank Alicky Ashby and Julie Wang for the photos, because I doubt we will make another such visually arresting podcast for quite some time.

We hope you enjoy the festivities; but next week the show is back to normal, so we will of course be requiring YOUR QUESTIONS: please email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, phone 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis (Skype seems to have been playing up a bit lately so make sure you elocute to the max).

See you next week, for palindromic prime episode 101!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:Arizona, coming out, cookery, dogs, eggs, gay, parents, romance, surgery, work
Posted in PODCASTS | 10 Comments »

Cohabitation tips for Andria

June 3, 2009

61731-004-8ED8FD6B

** Click here for EPISODE 97 **

We’ve had a call for help from Andria from Texas (soon to be from Minnesota):

I am moving in with my fiance in a few weeks so answer me this, what advice would you give to someone who has never lived with a man (other than my dad) before? How can I make this transition smoother for both of us?

I would say you ought to remember to a) have arguments loudly enough that your neighbours can enjoy them; b) not confuse cleaning with something actually emotionally important; and c) not show too much interest in his mysterious locked cupboard, because frankly you will be much happier not knowing – it’ll either contain corpses or pornography. But readers, what would YOU say is the key to happy cohabitation? Let Andria know in a comment below!

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Tags:arguing, cohabitation, household, romance
Posted in extracurricular questions, help! | 2 Comments »

EPISODE 97 – waxworks on Jupiter

May 28, 2009

Greetings and salutations, listeners,

It’s been a long series and at this point we’re weary, trudging the podcast-path with just some Kendal Mint Cake and warm Lucozade to keep us going. So we’re taking a month off after next week’s episode – oh, don’t look like that! We’ll come back; we always do. And in the meantime, there’s Episode 97:

[
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we speak of:

Eraserhead
kilts
acromegaly
Portmeirion
what sperm and Tony Blair have in common
Charley’s Aunt
ceilidhs
cannabinoids
toastmasters
HMP Loose Women
Matthew McConaughey
polari
and
the Evil Eye.

Also, Olly gives TMI about his urinary tract; Helen is sniffy about a psychedelic risotto; and Martin the Sound Man reveals the secret to his wisdom. It’s a real disappointment, frankly.

Before we head off on our holidays (or rather, before Olly heads off on a glorious roadtrip of the US and Helen and Martin sit tight in Crystal Palace), send us your QUESTIONS: call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. ‘Twill give us succour during our darkest hours.

See you next week, when we will be telling you what our party plans are for our forthcoming 100th Episode, and how you can be a part of that party!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:Albert Hall, allergies, asparagus, aunts, Berlin, Berocca, cake, cinema, dancing, David Lynch, drugs, egg puns, eggs, expenses, fertilisation, folk music, food, health, homosexuality, hygiene, Jane Austen, Jared Leto, Kerry Katona, munchies, Paul O'Grady Show, peacocks, puns, revenge, Riverdance, romance, Science Museum, Steve Miller Band, superstition, techno, teenagers in love, The Prisoner, Ting Tings, tourism, trains, weddings, Worzel Gummidge
Posted in PODCASTS | 6 Comments »