Plus: Olly and his new massage gun are very happy together; Helen of course managed to find the absolute least cool way to rebel against a school custom; and Martin the Sound Man says he loves wearing suits, despite never actually wearing suits as they conflict with his self-image of someone who does a more physical job than sitting at a computer and occasionally twiddling knobs on an audio interface…
Now is a GREAT time to become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis if you haven’t already, because the next edition of our video livestream series Petty Problems is happening Sunday 29th March! Join us for that, and in return for your patronage, you also get the whole Petty Problems back catalogue, a batch of Bonus Bits each month, and an ad-free version of AMT416. If you sign up at one of the higher Patreon tiers, you get access to an RSS feed with ALL the AMT stuff EVER, including our entire back catalogue, our six themed albums, the retro AMTs, and every Bit of Crapp from the AMT App.
So send us your trivial unserious questions for Petty Problems, as well as questions of any other level of seriousness, in writing or voice note, to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail at 0208 123 5877 like the old days. Remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you.
AMT417 will be out 30 April 2026. Mid-month, there will also be an episode of our new feature Answer Us Back, where you answer us back about questions from our recent and distant back catalogue. So send in your feedback about any question or answer from any episode ever.
Martin‘s song therein, ‘Daddy Really Cares’, is available to buy from his Bandcamp. All proceeds go to organisations helping trans youth in the UK and Canada.
This episode is sponsored by:
Saily, flexible eSIM data roaming plans for when you’re abroad. Download SAILY in your app store and use our code amt15 at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase. For further details go to saily.com/amt15.
The London Review of Books, the twice-monthly literary mag full of essays, reviews and more by excellent writers. Get a 6 month print and digital subscription for just £12 at LRB.me/answer.
Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, play around with the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
If you found us thanks to the lobster face-piss that featured in the last episode, welcome! There is no crustacean face-piss in AMT408, but there is:
Willy Wonka’s factory but for stock cubes airport massage chair hogs business meetings with your spouse what the art industry has in common with podcasts Deely Boppers Bobbers King Charles’s mucky gloves tiara rules private investigators the Spy Store and the downside of being Lil Nas X.
Plus: Olly just needs either his father-in-law to allow him a nightlight, or to buy night vision goggles (prescription obv); Helen will go to the Tower before claiming King Charles is well dressed; and if you see Martin advancing towards you in your airport chair, preemptively get up and RUN.
Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next new episode will land in your podfeed Thursday 28 August 2025.
Paying patrons hear from us before then, though: not only will you receive a compilation of Bonus Bits halfway through the month, and an ad-free version of the episode, but you also get to join us for our live video question-answering featurette Petty Problems on 23rd August at 22:00 UK time (check your timezone). The previous edition was a very fun hangout, and we all got to weigh in on some not so serious problems – good neighbours, bad neighbours, a veterinarian finding some perhaps incriminating items inside a pet…
That video is still available to watch, and you should join us for the next one, by becoming an AMT donor at patreon.com/answermethis.
Check out our other work:
Helen and Martin just had a one-off piece on BBC Radio 4: Souvenirs, a tragicomic factual essay/musical thing, which you can listen to via BBC sounds if you’re in the UK, and if you’re not in the UK, here. You can also hang out with them IRL on the beach in Vancouver on 13 August at the Allusionist meetup. And, the latest in the Allusionist’s Four Letter Word season is a collab with Hannah McGregor about the word dino.
Olly handily lists most of his work at ollymann.com, where as well as checking out the many podcasts he makes and stars in, you can peruse the guest appearances he does, most recently a walking tour around Letchworth Garden City with The Story Pilgrim.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
Today we discuss the world’s greatest audio format apart from this one: Desert Island Discs. What would your luxury be? (If you’re a cheating cheater who wants to take a fully-stocked iPod, throw yourself into the sea.) Find out ours, along with myriad other important nuggets of information, in Answer Me This! Episode 259:
In which we also consider:
condoms vs. opera gloves
knits vs. nits
Tim Burton vs. Faust
Olly vs. Ollie vs. Olleigh
cherry-pickers gentlemen’s clubs (nb not ‘gentlemen’s clubs’) The Reform Act This Life
personalised Coke bottles
Simon Cowell’s reflection
mayonnaise spa treatments
retro-live-tweeting
and
Russ Abbott.
Plus: Olly is nostalgic for an infestation of headlice; Helen WOULD with the person who changes the lights in supermarkets; and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t want to swallow himself. Just reflect on that quietly.
In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) Olly rhapsodises about the Coca-Cola Freestyle Machine. All the different types of sugar water – in one machine! A miracle of modern life.
Another miracle of modern life is to be able to watch thousands of hours of entertainment for FREE thanks to our LoveFilm offer – which, equally miraculously, helps pay for future Answer Me Thises.
As well as free money, we can only sustain the podcast with your QUESTIONS, so send them along in the form of voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
Answer Me This! Podcast 