Answer Me This! Podcast

mixed feelings about the commencement of a new year of podcasting

Just two calendar years ago, Answer Me This! was as trembly and new as a soft-poached egg. Yet here we are, on our second birthday, sage and wrinkly octogenarians, for today we unleash Episode 81:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Therein:
Prince of Egypt
Calamity Jane
thermal underwear
the Kansas cowboys
Mel Brooks
Nick Robinson
Anne Robinson (no relation)
incontinence vs. electric blankets
Seneca
Clive Anderson
‘Shine’ by Take That
Little Women
sandpaper
Henry James
and
peas.

Plus, Olly’s moods swing from ‘cheerful’ to ‘jolly’; Helen reveals another completely spurious bugbear; and Martin the Sound Man is forced to reexamine the contents of Mickey Mouse’s pants.

We thank you in advance for all the wonderful birthday presents you have no doubt sent us; and also for the QUESTIONS you should dispatch to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or our Question Line 0208 123 5877.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Ho ho ho, listeners! Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat – yet another species succumbs to the obesity epidemic. But at least Answer Me This! Episode 80 is calorie-free and takes up none of your Weightwatchers treat points! Try it.

All this week’s questions are Christmas-related, so lodged within the episode like the Little Baby Jesus in the manger are topics including:

cats shitting tinsel
Larry Dean Stewart
Stevie Wonder’s hair
iPhones
advent calendars
elves vs. Argos
the three wise men
ballottine (translation: turducken)
Santa as chambermaid
plumb lines
wine coolers vs. The Da Vinci Code
Father Textmas
and
FIVE GO-OLD RINGS!

Plus some lovely messages from you listeners, and a special treat from Martin the Sound Man. Indeed, if you missed his gift from last year, you can hear it now before we take it to the charity shop:

Along with satsumas, chocolate coins and stripey socks, what we really want for Christmas is some QUESTIONS from you – either drop them down our chimney or, more practically, email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype answermethis or phone 0208 123 5877, and we’ll get cracking on them in the new year. Meanwhile, in between picking dog-hair out of the brandy butter and swearing at the broken fairy-lights, we’ll be tackling some more of your questions right here on this very website, so keep coming to visit!

We’ll be back on Christmas Day with The Best of Answer Me This! 2008, Part I, which will be full of Incredible Moments from this monumental year in amateur British podcasting, as well as some extra special never-before-podcasted footage. Just the thing to fill in a few minutes between the family row and the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special.

Falalalalala-lalalala!

Helen and Olly

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This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Listeners! Pause for a moment from multiple-voting for Thingy, Whatsit or The Other One on X Factor, or from clearing the shelves of Woollies lest you never see a cheap socket set again; for Answer Me This! Episode 79 awaits.

Messing up the white noise this week are such subjects as:
the Manic Street Preachers
Oregon
gynaecologists
Peekaboo
Bugsy Malone
Radio 4 smash hit The Department
drama teachers
gait vs. gate
spontaneity vs. arrest
Wii vs. World of Warcraft
Will vs. Gareth vs. sanity
and
the troll Zeus.

Plus, Olly reminisces about his cross-dressing years; Helen delights the pervs with racy talk of LADIES’ BRAS; and Martin the Sound Man is more stumped by a bow tie than by quantum physics. We knew he must have an Achilles Heel; we just didn’t expect it to be a foot long and made of black satin.

It’s coming up to Christmas and we want to find lots and lots of your QUESTIONS in our stockings – or, more appropriately, in our inbox at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or our phonebox via Skype ID answermethis or phone number 0208 123 5877. But as well as that, we would love to have festive voice messages from you lovely lot to play in next week’s episode, so please call and leave us a nice little message! Pretty please! We’ve been SO good this year!

See you next Thursday, for the special Christmas edition of Answer Me This!,

Helen and Olly

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This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week was a toughie for us, listeners…because it was the first time ever we’ve shouldered through a podcast without Martin the Sound Man. Our beloved third wheel was off games after a nasty stomach upset. Ain’t no sunshine when he’s gone…but there’s still Episode 78, so get listening!

This week, lining the streets of Talkytown are:

Mrs William Hague
cribbage
Richard X vs. various artists
Liberty X vs. Jesus
chance vs. skill
the Queen vs. the career of Kylie Minogue
infants vs. coffee
anaesthesia
the Weekly World News
Cameron Diaz
L. Ron Hubbard
the best Japanese restaurant in Crystal Palace
Perudo
the many moods of Zeus
Sheffield
and
Sam Taylor-Wood.

Plus, Olly gets into low-level gambling; Helen yearns for Einstein’s twin brother; and Martin the Sound Man, of course, malingers on his sick bed – but if you need your weekly fix, download the new episode of his music podcast. Or go and stand outside his work and wait for him to come out.

Martin’s completely better now so there’s no need to send any get well cards or bunches of flowers, but there’s always a need to send us a QUESTION, which you can do by Skypeing answermethis, phoning 0208 123 5877 or emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Don’t make us beg!

See you next week,

Helen and Olly

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• App • Facebook • Twitter • Merch Superstore • YouTube Channel •

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Hello champs,

To all our American listeners: Happy Thanksgiving! And to the rest of you – go and sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.
Then listen to Episode 77, wherein dwell such topics as:

Phone Booth
the Vengabus
Dick van Dyke
‘The Owl and the Pussycat’
James Whittaker
Whitney Houston
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
levitation
fire-juggling
Jack Lemmon
the mirth of rats
King Lear
equality in the workplace – medieval style
Ulysses
and
the other Martin Austwick.

Furthermore, Olly misremembers hardboiled egg tricks; Helen becomes near incandescent with rage over snacks; and Martin the Sound Man is uncharacteristically quiet but click here if you want to hear more of him.

As ever, if you have a QUESTION for us, get in touch by Skypeing answermethis, phoning 0208 123 5877 or emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also if you have a namealike with a rogue profession, like this week’s questioneer Geoff, leave a comment below telling us of the Shakespearean hilarity!

Helen and Olly

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This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Hello there, old-timers! And new-timers! And egg-timers. If you could just stop timing things for just two seconds (plus a further thirty minutes and twenty seconds), perhaps you could listen to Answer Me This! Episode 76. And just before you resume your stop-watches, here are some of the things under discussion this week:

Bergerac
Dawson’s Creek
the indefatigable constitution of Jack Bauer
Dutch cartographers
Abel Tasman
space-hoppers
Steve Guttenberg
Bilbo Baggins’s holiday home
Alan Fletcher
Holly Hunter’s jugs
and
fascinators.

Plus, Olly gets flag envy; Helen is thankful that she had no disposable income when she was five; and Martin the Sound Man is all rock’n’roll from the waist down. Ugh. We also celebrate the fact that someone finally fell for one of Olly’s get-rich-quick schemes! Well done, Mark from Essex, for taking Olly’s vision and making it reality.

If any of the rest of you fancy doing that, or merely want to send us a QUESTION as usual, get in touch by Skypeing answermethis, phoning 0208 123 5877 or emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Following our contemplation of one of David’s questions at the end of the episode, this week we’re particularly keen for you to leave a comment on the website detailing your most expensive and embarrassing piece of clothing. Preferably with pictorial evidence. Don’t be shy!

See you next week,

Helen and Olly

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This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Hello there, dear chums,

Things get pretty heated in Episode 75 of Answer Me This!. It must be a pretty important issue to cause an altercation between us, right? Well, what could be a more inflammatory topic than whether or not Fantasia is dull? Listen to the episode, and remember to nod or shake your head at the appropriate junctures.

Aside from Fantasia, topics of conversation include:
Aristocats
Interpol
Olly’s mum’s hat collection
Martin’s dad’s head collection
bready drinks
Cole Porter
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Lord Admiral Nelson
Gyles Brandreth
Sebastian Horsley
Oscar Wilde’s podcast
Children in Need vs. Help the Aged
Mary Poppins
gunmetal grey
and
bee wangs.

Plus, Olly describes his early forays into Amsterdam-style theatricals; Helen worries about a poorly punctuated epitaph; and Martin the Sound Man suggests leaving the poor ickle kiddies to fend for themselves. What a hard-hearted rotter! Pudsey Bear is patrolling the streets looking for him right now, to give him a good piece of his mind.

And while he’s doing that, why don’t you give US a piece of YOUR mind by sending us a QUESTION? You can Skype answermethis, phone 0208 123 5877 or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com; or you could just ululate into the wind and hope for the best. It’s not as reliable a method as the others, though. Thank goodness for the communication opportunities offered by technology.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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• App • Facebook • Twitter • Merch Superstore • YouTube Channel •

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Hello dear listeners,

Of course this week saw a New Dawn, and all over the world change is sprouting through the ground like the year’s first snowdrops…except at Answer Me This!, where Episode 74 sticks to the old formula of smut, gubbins and half-brained fact. Vote with your mouse, and click to hear it. Maintaining the status quo are such topics as:

Donkey Punch
Californian lavatories
licentious Space Mountain
elephant-flavoured Fanta
Big Ben vs. Centrepoint
Ben Adams (both solo and in A1)
pre-natal boozing
sock fetishes
HMS Victory
marriage-wrecking
and
Aphex Twin.

Plus, Martin the Sound Man tells why you should always doubt news stories based on reports and statistics; Helen suggests a novel way to cover one’s face during the ‘ugly duckling’ years; Olly weaves a riveting story out of St Alban’s, Laura Ashley and his new bathroom cabinet. You wouldn’t think it could be done, would you? Well, by no means cease thinking that.

We’ll be back next week with Episode 75, so please send us YOUR QUESTIONS thus: Skype answermethis, phone 0208 123 5877 or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Seeya!

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to episodes • Question Archive • FAQ
• App • Facebook • Twitter • Merch Superstore • YouTube Channel •

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Trick or treat, listeners? Trick or treat?

Actually it doesn’t matter which you pick – we’re only going to give you Answer Me This! Episode 73 anyway. Which lacks the surprise factor, but is better than a mini-Mars bar or a rotten egg through your letterbox. Promise!

Secreted in the episode, like the razorblades hidden in the apples old Mr Scratchbastard is giving out, are such topics as:

Daniel Craig
Immac
Home Alone
Primark’s politically incorrect jimjams
Barbie vs. Metallica
Emo Phillips vs. Emu
Home Depot vs. Alton Towers
Jack Bauer vs. monuments
ovulation
Mariella Frostrup
film noir
A Bug’s Life
special macchiato
the Russian Royal Family
and
laughing gas.

Plus! Olly kindles envy with his voluptuous cleavage; Helen practices her sexy voice; and Martin the Sound Man gets ladybirds mixed up with ladyboys. Which might explain some of the pictures on his computer.

Also, if you’re interested in some of our extra-curricular activities this week, watch Olly talking about the newspapers 11.30pm Friday 31st on Sky News, or Helen talking about ping-pong robots on yesterday’s Skynews.com. If you’re not, and would prefer to send us a QUESTION or just to get in touch, please Skype answermethis, phone 0208 123 5877 or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next week, unless we’re all eaten by ghosts!

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunes • Listen to episodes • Question Archive • FAQ
• App • Facebook • Twitter • Merch Superstore • YouTube Channel •

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Hello chaps! And apologies for the lack of an episode last week, although we’ve very much enjoyed your guesses as to which operation Helen had. There are many outlandish suggestions – and one of you was very close! – but you can find out the prosaic truth by listening to Episode 72.

Along with the identity of Helen’s mystery ailment, the episode holds such noisebits as:

guinea-pigs
Rear Window
the many hits of Status Quo
karma
Imax-face
Global Hypercolour*
Fortnum’n’Mason
douche-bags
Goldwyn-Mayer syndrome
great British cheeses
and
romantic advice for Michelle Branch.

Plus, Olly is a traitor to his own sex, Helen bemoans her wonky corneas, and Martin the Sound Man shows vaunting ambition for his spiritual future.

Also, thanks to the dozens of you who wrote in to avail Mark from Essex of the information about the song he sought in Episode 71, and happy 18th birthday to AMT! superfan James from Lincolnshire! If you have more songs, birthdays or, most importantly, QUESTIONS to tell us about, don’t be shy: please Skype answermethis, phone 0208 123 5877 or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next week, unless we have to have emergency bottomectomies or something!

Helen and Olly

*UPDATE: Dagnammit, it seems Global Hypercolour may be making a comeback! Fiona in New York tells us that American Apparel is staging a revival of revolting colour-changing t-shirts. Batten down the hatches before we’re all deluged by a tide of other pointless crap returning from the 90s, like Pop Swatches and the band Echobelly.

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Dear Answer Me This! listeners,

I’m sorry to tell you that Episode 72 isn’t coming out today – Helen had to go and have an operation, so must lie about in bed this week rather than mess about with audio files and whatnot. Provided she doesn’t choke on a grape or her own laziness, normal service will be resumed next Thursday.

If you want some amusement in the meantime, leave a comment guessing what operation she had done; first person to get it right wins a pair of surgical stockings and a pack of supermarket own-brand ibuprofen.

Yours,

Helen’s Mum

Helen after her sense of humour bypass

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