Answer Me This! Podcast

Hello old beans,

We hope you enjoy your forthcoming May Days in whichever way you see fit – putting bells on your knees, wrapping ribbons round a pole, stuffing your trousers full of onions, ’tis not for us to judge. However we will look at you askance if you neglect to listen to Episode 93:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we go on about:

Maltesers
vets
endorphins
Confucius
baby blankets
love birds
Lib Balm Anonymous
Wimbledon
this Badly Drawn Boy video
Baci
Snog Marry Avoid
suicidal dentists
punk lullabies
the bouquet of a cat’s anus
Katy Perry
neck-snapping
and
Olly’s true colours.

Plus: Olly takes his first lesson on the lap steel guitar; Helen reveals the shocking truth about teachers’ nightwear; and Martin the Sound Man admits to not understanding the dynamics of semen. Durrr!

Seeing as you tend to be so helpful, please comment below with ideas for presents for Jawad’s new sibling, which is probably out by now – in which case, perhaps one of these would be suitable, Jawad? Also, as ever, do send us your QUESTIONS by calling 0208 123 5877, Skypeing answermethis or emailing us at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. It’s just what the doctor ordered! (a mere two days before he was struck off.)

See you next week,

Helen and Olly

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Hello dears,

We’ve been having a bit of a spruce-up around here, and have added a load of new games and jigsaws to our Timewasting page. So get over there and waste some time! That which you have not already squandered on Answer Me This! Episode 91:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Up for discussion this week are:

Gloria Hunniford
Latin turnips
Sweeney Todd
Vidal Sassoon
Church’s Shoes
Disney’s Californian Adventure vs. Seaworld
Humpty Dumpty on your face
Harry Tate
Pink
the hormones of 15-year-olds
and
Matthew Crosby’s testicles.

Plus: Olly explains his sinister methods for succeeding at Jenga; Helen reveals the kind of giddy fun that made her childhood parties the talk of Tunbridge Wells; and Martin the Sound Man tells soap operas to buzz off. Or similar. And if you’ve got something you want Martin to slag off, or just a QUESTION for us, get in touch: call us on 0208 123 5877, Skype us at answermethis, email us at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or send your carrier pigeons to Crystal Palace and pray they can sniff us out.

We also hope you enjoy this week’s new jingle by Wilbur Sargunaraj; if so, amusing treats await you at his website www.wilbur.asia, and you may also be tickled by his Blog Song:

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Hello dear listeners,

The excitements of this week notwithstanding, we have hauled ourselves out of our champagne baths to bring you Answer Me This! Episode 90:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Therein we speak of:

‘When I’m 64’
Jonathan Cainer
Brian Dowling
Humdingers
schoolgirls in the shower
pachinko
free envelopes
the Junior RSPB
lucky trees
Nectar cards
Ryanair
and
Slash.

Plus, Olly unearths his earliest showreel; Martin the Sound Man shows off some knowledge about the inner ear; and Helen forgot to mention the spaghetti bolognese pizza she did NOT order in one particularly depraved Italian restaurant (if you can call it ‘Italian’, rather than ‘VERY VERY WRONG’), but if you have consumed a similarly sucktacular pizzas, please tell us about it in a comment below.

Thanks very much for all your suggestions for questions Michael from Hertfordshire can ask his girlfriend; see if you’ve got any to add to Anastazia’s comprehensive list. And of course, our own appetite for your QUESTIONS is always voracious; send them in to Skype ID answermethis, our Question Line 0208 123 5877, or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Please also take yourself to our Challenge page to discover the winner of our Photoshop Challenge!

See you next week,

Helen and Olly

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Morning campers,

Put down those pranks, because April Fool’s Day is over for another year – and so, alas, is our Photoshop Challenge! You can still pop over to photobucket.com/answermethis to comment on the entries, and the winner will be announced on this very website next week. Until then, there’s Episode 89:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we ponder:

the world’s first branch of Do-It-All
Rubik’s Magic
Jack Vettriano
how to stop the Barenaked Ladies revival
Classics degrees
mescal vs. tequila
urology vs. colo-rectal surgery
the Olsens vs. the Mitfords
career advice from car journalists
man-thongs
and
uranium.

Furthermore, Olly conceives of a cunning marketing campaign for the under-fives; Helen practices her photo-face; and Martin the Sound Man rolls out a special version of ‘Human’ by the Killers. If that is Your Song, then for pete’s sake switch off the podcast for a few seconds at the 16 minutes mark, else it will be ruined forever.

As we beseech you at the end of the show, please comment below with questions for Michael from Hertfordshire to put to his lady love. But don’t give Michael all your questions; save some for us! Send them to Skype ID answermethis, our Question Line 0208 123 5877, or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Thanks in anticipation.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Look here, chums,

Only six days to go until our amazing Photoshop Challenge closes, so here’s a checklist:
1) Have you uploaded your entries to photobucket.com/answermethis?
2) Have you visited the same photobucket.com/answermethis to view the entries, comment upon their finery, and slyly download them for our birthday cards?

If yes to both, good. You may now proceed to Answer Me This! Episode 88:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week we ponder:
historic Brighton
Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares
notable people from Stanmore
dead fish vs. live fish
vampires vs. vegans
the Barenaked Ladies vs. the Sound of the Ladies
synaesthesia
the Norman invasion
two fat ladies
the Dicks and the Balls
and
Last of the Summer Wine.

Plus! Helen wheels out her etymological dictionary without putting everyone to sleep; Martin the Sound Man contracts porphyria; and has Olly found his real dad on Google Streetview?

If that’s not enough for you, don’t forget to sign up for Martin’s spring music sale, and tune in to TalkSport tonight between midnight and 1am to hear us on the Late Show with Ian Collins. Then please send us your QUESTIONS, to Skype ID answermethis, our Question Line 0208 123 5877, or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Oh, and here’s the tooting video we chuckle about in the podcast:

Parp!

Helen and Olly

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Hello dears,

Don’t forget that it’s Mother’s Day this Sunday. Obviously a trip to THIS would be the Best Present Ever (certainly better than this bollo) but if you’re a big lazy cheapskate then just put a bow on Episode 87 and pray that none of your siblings have got her a spa day.

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Wherein we consider:
paedomorphosis
muted girlbands
our new Twitter account
yellow tomatoes
Sarah Beeny
iced eyebrows
Rentakil
the ocean sunfish
toy chicken escalopes
pandas
tumeric
Jamie Oliver’s plates
stainless fasteners
and
the wrong way to do Ramadan.

Plus: Olly gives dance tips; Helen suggests lying on your CV; and Martin the Sound Man is giving away his music for free! Spring madness! Click here to get it. And for further audio fun, you can Listen Again to us on yesterday’s Nemone show on BBC 6Music. It’s available here on the BBC iPlayer until Wednesday 25th. We’re on around the 2hr10 mark.

Twelve days remain of our Photoshop Challenge, so keep uploading your entries to photobucket.com/answermethis, which is where you also need to go to admire the dazzling display that you wonderful people have supplied thus far. Also we know your curiosity is undauntable, so please send us your QUESTIONS, to Skype ID answermethis, our Question Line 0208 123 5877, or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Byeeeee!

Helen and Olly

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Listener Mark kindly alerted us to a strange gap near the end of Episode 86. We thought that 27 minutes into the podcast, you’d need a little rest, ok? Of course it wasn’t a cock-up! However, if you’d prefer the gapless megamix of Episode 86, then it’s now available from iTunes and all the normal places.

Hello champs!

And happy birthday to AMT!P fan Andrew from Southampton, who turns 17 today! We’ve got you a present. It is Episode 86; hope you haven’t already got one:

[
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Wherein we ponder:

Teenage Mutant Slasher Deviant Turtles
smear tests
David Lynch
Are You Being Served?
moisturiser
Arrested Development
spouses
southpaws
Jared Leto
farty Marty
and
Boris Yeltsin.

Plus: Olly reveals his secret wish for an in-house make-up artist; Helen wonders whatever happened to the word ‘shevelled’; and Martin the Sound Man finally tells how he bagged Helen – literally! Also, last year’s Camcorder Challenge winners Brad and Josh from Huddersfield entreat you to join this Facebook group and bring it down from within. No-one disses Answer Me This! bags, ok? NO-ONE.

Thanks to you, our Photoshop Challenge is going super-strongly; head over to photobucket.com/answermethis to add more entries and marvel at the Photoshop fun.

All that remains is to ask you to send us your QUESTIONS, to Skype ID answermethis, our Question Line 0208 123 5877, or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Or come and see us at Webstock at the London Word Festival on 22nd March and ask us to our faces.

See you next week,

Helen and Olly

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Wahey, listeners! We’re back! Waheyyyyyyy!

Formalities over, let’s get down to business. There’s a new series of Answer Me This!, and accordingly a new episode. So without further ado, here is Answer Me This! Episode 85:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

We’re limbering up with such topics as:

Visalia, CA
syllabub
the four corners of the globe
Antonin Artaud
the life of bivalves
The Little Mermaid
garlic bread
Johnny Onion
this pungent place
Diane Arbus
Past Times
Walkman iPod covers
little red Dansette

Plus! Olly offers some top-notch economising tips for you cat litter users; Helen says the word ‘syllabub’; and Martin the Sound Man explains the difference between corpses and dogs. Thankyou, Martin. Should make walkies a bit less sinister.

As usual we are wanting your QUESTIONS, which you can submit orally to to Skype ID answermethis or our Question Line 0208 123 5877, or emailly to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com; BUT we also want more from you this week because we are greedy. Firstly, we would like you to come and see us at Webstock at the London Word Festival on 22nd March – click HERE for more about it – and secondly, we would like your entries for our fun new Photoshop Challenge, for details of which click HERE. Thirdly, we’ve now got one of those Twitter things that everyone’s going on about, so come and follow us at twitter.com/helenandolly. No doubt over the coming weeks and months we shall provide some very insightful Twits or Twats or whatever the hell the kids call it now. Fourthly, Martin the Sound Man has a new musical video project which he beseeches you all to watch, here or here.

Ok, that’s all the neediness out of the way. Now get back to work!

Oxes,

Helen and Olly

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Avaunt, listeners!

What a week it’s been for public speaking. On the one hand, you have Mr Obama’s inauguration speech; on the other, you have Jordan offering some of the least helpful crime-busting ideas since the Great Marshmallow Truncheon Debacle of 1882. Then, somewhere in between, you have Answer Me This! Episode 83:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Wherein we elocute upon:

suppositories
second-hand jigsaws
Shami Chakrabarti
contraception for dogs
Rochester Castle
parallax
Karen O
Fifteen to One
moats vs. mottes
coconut-milk vs. man-milk
yom kippur
God ❤ Gareth Gates
the Hard Rock Cafe, Cyprus
Roy Orbison
condom pockets
and
the anal glands of animals.

Plus: Olly’s previous gig as the Marlboro Man; Helen’s problems of personal presentation; Martin’s jangly bunch of keys; and 2009 can finally get started, for at last we hear the voice of Graham from Canada!

We’ll be taking a little break after Episode 84 until March 5th, but don’t let that deter you from sending your QUESTIONS to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or our Question Line 0208 123 5877. And we’ve got a special treat for you next week to end the series – no, it’s not fun-sized Mars Bars, it is a lovely special guest! Will they have the stamina to deal with your questions? Do they have proper general knowledge instead of the ability to Google-search at speed? Will they talk about genitals as much as Olly does?

Tune in next Thursday to find out!

Helen and Olly

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