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Archive for the ‘extracurricular questions’ Category

Cohabitation tips for Andria

June 3, 2009

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We’ve had a call for help from Andria from Texas (soon to be from Minnesota):

I am moving in with my fiance in a few weeks so answer me this, what advice would you give to someone who has never lived with a man (other than my dad) before? How can I make this transition smoother for both of us?

I would say you ought to remember to a) have arguments loudly enough that your neighbours can enjoy them; b) not confuse cleaning with something actually emotionally important; and c) not show too much interest in his mysterious locked cupboard, because frankly you will be much happier not knowing – it’ll either contain corpses or pornography. But readers, what would YOU say is the key to happy cohabitation? Let Andria know in a comment below!

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Tags:arguing, cohabitation, household, romance
Posted in extracurricular questions, help! | 2 Comments »

Oh this? Erm, I just had an accident with the fake tan…

June 1, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 97 **

Some questions are really too visual to be answered in an audio podcast. Others are a bit too apt to get us into trouble. This question from Sharon from Glasgow falls in both camps:

At a fancy dress party last year I dressed as Jimi Hendrix and blacked up. My friends were split between whether this is racist or not. I think I looked great. Answer me this: is blacking up racist?

p.s. I have attached photos for your judgement.

p.p.s. I am definitely not racist.

Sharon in her normal state

After: is Sharon racist, or just misunderstood?

Never mind blacking up - that person next to Sharon is GREEN.

It doesn’t seem quite as wrong as the film Soul Man, but I think we should have a poll all the same:

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Posted in extracurricular questions, visuals | 7 Comments »

Amanda Huggenkiss?

May 28, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 96 **

The Britain’s Got Talent final looms, and you kids are getting somewhat overwrought about it. Firstly, Mark (14):

What is all the fuss about Susan Boyle?! Yes she can sing, but why do the papers only refer to her as “Susan Boyle: the virgin” as if it’s her defining feature?

So many questions, Mark, in one brief missive. My guesses are:
a) who can resist a woman who looks like a whiskery Happy Face biscuit singing showtunes?
b) the media hardly ever get to write about virgins, so it’s a rare treat from them.

Now here’s some strong stuff from Carla from London Town:

I was watching Su Bo on YouTube do her latest performance but that Amanda Holden woman was crying which put me off the whole thing. She looks to me like one of those girls who was in the year above and enjoyed sneering at anyone who wasn’t as attractive as she was.

Is there anyone- ANYONE- A single one of your listeners who likes her? I would love to know whether there is one speck of humanity who finds her bearable.

As a BGT-ignorer, I have no opinions at all about this Holden creature, so must instead impeach you lot to share your feelings upon the erstwhile Mrs Les Dennis bearable.

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Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 5 Comments »

Helen’s filthy mouth comes back to bite her (as it were)

May 6, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 93 **

the future of Answer Me This?

Here’s something disheartening from Tom:

I play Halo 3 online and I listen to Answer Me This! while I play. One time a couple of weeks ago my mum was eating her tea while I was playing. After about five minutes my mum told me to turn Answer Me This! off. When I asked why, she said because that woman (Helen) has such a filthy mouth. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve tried to convince her that Helen is a nice person and is just being funny.

So answer me this: how can I convince my mum that Helen is a nice person, and that Martin is the disgusting crude one?

A salutary lesson for us all at Answer Me This!; but aside from us actually changing our ways and our vocabulary, how can we restore the favour of Tom’s mum? Advise us by posting a comment below!

(Also, while my own verbiage could certainly be cleaned up, Martin CLEARLY has the pottiest mouth in the podcast by a mucky mile.)

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Posted in extracurricular questions, help! | 3 Comments »

Impulse buys

April 29, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 92 **

Lately we’ve very much enjoyed putting questions to you lot, so here is another one, from Holly:

Me and my friend Ciorstan are currently on our gap year living and teaching in China! We bought a pet rabbit, even though I live on the 4th floor, don’t have a cage and don’t actually want a rabbit. Answer me this: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever bought on impulse?

Sadly, our impulse buys are all pretty boring – all those unhandsome clothes at the back of the wardrobe; hair products that smell of worming medicine; pork scratchings; Paul Weller CDs – but we’ll put 50p on YOURS being far more amusing. Share your shopping follies in the comments below!

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Tags:crap, paul weller, pets, rabbits, regrets
Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 7 Comments »

Storytime!

April 22, 2009

** Click here for Episode 91 **

Here’s a charming story from James, entitled ‘My Friend Recently Shit Himself’. Can you guess how it’s going to go? Well done, you are correct:

Yes it was quite an epic tale, cram packed with adventure, tension and embarrassment.

The story began on Saturday morning when we were having a bite to eat before catching the train to Sheffield from Grimsby. My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, claimed to be feeling ill about halfway through the journey. When we arrived he insisted (in a rather flustered manner) that we find the nearest toilet which at the time happened to be a McDonalds, so off we went. He ran in barging people out of the way (we followed closely behind to see what hilarities would unfold) and just as he was going into the toilet he shat himself.

But the worst thing about this is what he did to ‘solve’ the situation, he started by frantically wiping his pants and arse with toilet paper until they were as clean as they could possibly be at that time…………not very clean. He then put them back on inside out and continued his activities for the rest of the day.

I found this odd/sickening and was wondering what would you do in a situation like that?

To be frank, we found it pretty odd/sickening as well; therefore, as we’ve just had our lunch and are reluctant to throw it all up, we thought we’d open the question out to you instead. So please comment below and answer us this: what is a failsafe means of rescuing yourself should you wind up in a similar situation?

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Tags:bowels, disgusting, etiquette, public transport, sartoria, shame
Posted in extracurricular questions | 12 Comments »

Weightwatchers: big fat music-stealers?

March 16, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 86 **

A lot of you – so many, it’s impossible to ignore – have emailed and phoned us to say that the new Weightwatchers TV ads are set to the Answer Me This! theme tune.

Somehow none of us have managed to catch one of these ads, but sure are curious to know whether they show newly trim people frolicking whilst the Answer Me This! Players shriek ‘Helen and Olly, answer me this!’ in the background; so, if for some weird reason you have said advert at your disposal, please be so bold as to upload it to Youtube or something and send us the link. Then we can consult our lawyers and get ready to claim those PRS millions that are rightfully ours…

UPDATE: Robert from Dumfriesshire has tracked down the offending advert. You can watch it HERE. To be honest, we’re not convinced they’ve swiped our tunes; but what do you think?

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Posted in Answer Us Back! Your time to opine, extracurricular questions | 11 Comments »

Should Marc do it?

March 4, 2009

Here’s a question which we hadn’t had before, courtesy of Marc:

I’m 18, male and have been given the chance to be in a straight, professionally done porno. Should I take it, or will it hang over my head until one day my mates stumble across it and say “Hey…. He looks familiar….” The money’s not too bad. 🙂

Now, you may be surprised to hear that none of us has ever had a professional porn career (not counting Martin the Sound Man’s 8-page spread in November 1997’s Hot Teen Physicists – he was TOLD it was EDUCATIONAL, OK???), but as such is the case, we don’t really feel qualified to advise Marc in an informed and responsible manner. However, chances are that one of you smut-monkeys has had a racier life than all of us put together, and has more pertinent advice to give. If so, please comment below, or vote in this poll:

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Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | Leave a Comment »

All together now: Awwwwwwww!

February 14, 2009

Brace yourself, readers, for the most romantic post ever to grace this website! Granted, it’s a thin field.

Tabby from Stoke-on-Trent wrote to us to ask if we could help out with a little Answer Me This!-themed Valentine’s gesture for her podcast-fond boyfriend Scott, and naturally we were only too pleased to oblige. So Scott, this goes out to you!

Tabby
loves
Scott

Happy Valentine’s Day, Scott; and we’re delighted to be helping to keep Love’s Young Dream alive, in a Web 2.0 fashion.

** Click here to listen to episodes of Answer Me This! **

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Posted in Answer Us Back! Your time to opine, extracurricular questions, frippery, visuals | 5 Comments »

double you

January 26, 2009

** Click here for Episode 83 **

Perhaps having heard that we’re taking a month off, listener Paddy has kindly stepped into Helen’s etymologising shoes, as it were, and not only presented a philological question but also its answer. Obviously if you all did that, we would be out of business; but once in a while it is most welcome. Says Paddy:

As a fellow Person Who Thinks They Are A Bit Clever And What Likes Words Too, I frequently get asked “Why’s it called a double-u when it’s actually two ‘v’s?” and am getting tired of hiding the bodies of people who ask such a dim question, so if you don’t mind, I thought I’d provide the answer.

The letter W comes from a 9th century German practice of writing the ‘wuh’ sound with two ‘u’s – so “Edward” would have been “Eduuard”. The v-like shape was used to represent capitalisation. The two became one letter by around the fourteenth century, probably due to quick writing linking them together, although the french still call it ‘double-v’. But then again, they’re French. Early printers did separate the letters, but it had become a definite and accepted letter in its own right by the eighteenth century. Isn’t it OBVIOUS? People can be so dim sometimes.

Gormless, Paddy, quite gormless! Who are these clowns you associate with that have no comprehension of medieval printing developments? Tsch.

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Name Matt’s baby!

January 20, 2009

A typical human baby.

Last week Paul from Stockport needed you to tell him what to do before he’s thirty. You acquitted yourselves most adequately, so this week we’re giving you an even greater challenge, courtesy of Matt:

What am I going to call my baby (due in 5 weeks time)? The criteria are as follows:
Need a boy’s and a girl’s name.
Nothing to live up to e.g. Grace.
Nothing that that has been used in X-Factor, Big Brother (etc) in the past few years.
Finally, nothing too weird or too popular – aiming for only one in class.

We haven’t received word from Matt that he will definitely saddle the impending mini-Matt with an Answer Me This!-generated name, but just the prospect that he might is surely enough to get you thinking, commenting and NAMING THAT BABY! Go!

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Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 17 Comments »

teen drama

January 13, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 81 **

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we find we can’t answer your questions. After flagellating ourselves thoroughly and spending forty minutes exiled to the Naughty Step, we turn to you instead, this time for the sake of Claire, who writes:

I’ve joined a youth theatre that runs after school, and we have a slight dilemma. We need to think of a name for ourselves, but we really can’t. So, answer me this: what name shall we give ourselves?

All we came up with collectively was ‘Jazzhands’. If you can come up with something better than that – and frankly if you can’t, you should probably join us on the Naughty Step – then please comment below!

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Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 3 Comments »