Answer Me This! Podcast

** Click here for Episode 176 **

Count your blessings, readers, as you peruse this email from beleaguered Susan from Queensland:

I’ve had a run of bad luck for the last year or so. Not loss of loved ones, but many minor incidents: car rear-ended twice in three weeks, the second a few days after the first repair; water pouring through the ceiling during torrential rain two days after moving into new house; the motor of a water pump burned out by lightning, replaced, then struck by lightning again; and lots of other stuff too tedious to list.

So answer me this: as an atheist of long standing apparently being picked on by a mischievous spirit – the only possible explanation (if you put aside the laws of chance) – how do I choose a deity to put an end to this unlucky streak? I’m willing to build a small altar, but I draw the line at any form of self-mutilation. Help.

Oh, there are other possible explanations: you were born under a bad star, you got out of the wrong side of the bed this year, karma’s a bitch and it KNOWS WHAT YOU DID… Also I’m not sure that if you become one of the Faithful, your chosen deity will agree to a one-on-one takedown of the mischievous spirit.

I do, however, feel sorry about your bad streak, so readers, go to the comments and help this unfortunate woman reverse the tide of misfortune through whichever means necessary.

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** Click here for Episode 176 **

Here’s a question from Rosie in Berlin:

I am fairly new to the podcast and have spent today listening to old episodes while I am tidying my bedroom. It is a beautiful day outside but my room is frankly a dump and my brother’s coming to stay next week. I hate tidying (hence the state of my room) and would much rather be sitting by the lake (although because this is Germany there are a lot of naked swimmer and sunbathers!).

Answer me this – how can I make tidying/cleaning fun?

Why are you asking me? My place is a hovel! There are even potatoes growing in the carpet. Instead, take guidance from the real expert (no, not Kim’n’Aggie):

Readers, if you think you know better than the Poppins, go to the comments to advise Rosie on how to achieve what I consider the impossible.

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** Click here for Episode 176 **

Here’s a question from Harriet from Camberley, who will be wearing wellie boots 24/7 henceforth:

I was recently in a lift at one of the underground stations when an old man stood right next to me. As there was only the two of us in the lift I was a little concerned. And concerned I should have been as he promptly urinated down his trouser leg and onto my sandals.

So answer me this: What is the correct etiquette when someone pisses on your shoes?

Alas our copy of Debrett’s does not offer guidance on this particular matter. As in all these times when the great bastion of British manners leaves us high and dry, the best reserve option of course is to crowd-source the answer from Team AMT. Readers, go to the comments and instruct Harriet on how to behave correctly if and when this situation arises again. Also we’re sure that tips for getting the smell of piss out of sandals would be greatly appreciated too.

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All the single ladies, all the single ladies – put your hands UP woah-oh-oh if you think you might like to go on a date with Tom, who writes:

During one inebriated night, I foolishly joined a dating agency which required a fairly reasonable, though still a little hefty, 6-month subscription fee.

So answer me this – should I lie like a (storm) trooper on my character profile to see if I can get a nibble and hopefully, by the time it comes to meet up with them, some of the lies would be true? Or should I concentrate on sorting my life out before getting back out there on the desperate dater’s scene (and make sure my credit card, laptop and whiskey are never in the same room again)?

It’s possible that a little lady-fun would give you the impetus to start sorting out your situation, Tom. But readers, what do you think? Go to the comments to sort out Tom’s live – its romantic side, of course, but also professional, domestic and pastoral. And don’t mince your words, because he needs the fillip.

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Click HERE for some lovely free audiobooks
and click HERE to catch up on episodes of Answer Me This!

We’ve got weddings on the brain this week, so let’s have a look at this question from Mark from St Neots:

On the anti-clockwise M25 just before you get to the M1 (Junction 21) there is a bridge where someone has painted onto it:

Did Louise say yes, and is this a romantic way to propose or not?

ATTENTION TEAM AMT! Answer us these*:
Is one of you Louise?
Is Bob among your number?
Or do you know Bob and/or Louise?
If the answer to any of the above questions is ‘yes’, tell us: are Louise’n’Bob married? To each other? Happily? Or has Louise never forgiven him for proposing on a slab of concrete?
And do graffiti and the M25 say romance?

*because we’re on holiday, so it’s your turn.

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** Click here for Episode 174 **

All is not harmonious for Luke from Fife at present:

I am heavily involved in music activities, and this is where I met my boyfriend of 8 months.

I asked him to leave me alone, but he continues to contact me and message me through any form he can. So, answer me this: how do I deal with this rage?

We thought music was supposed to soothe most existential angst, but in this case it obviously isn’t; so, readers, tell Luke in the comments how to transform his fury into nonchalance.

The bigger question, we think, is why Luke’s ex is the one obsessively contacting him. Block him, Luke!

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** Click here for Episode 174 **

We know that a lot of you use the pumping beats of AMT to keep you entertained whilst running (that counts as us doing exercise too, right?), so would like to say a very big “Good luck!” to all of you listeners who are running the London Marathon this Sunday. But we reserve the biggest amount of “Good luck!” for Sam from Cambridgeshire:

I am running the London Marathon. However, because I am a little strange, I have decided that 26.2 miles just isn’t enough, and have decided to run the 86 miles back home again to St. Ives, Cambridgeshire, straight afterwards.

This foolhardiness is all in the name of charity, as I am raising money for the Epilepsy Society, aiming to raise over £2,000.

We can’t deny that this feat is both very charitable and very foolhardy. Accordingly, we would like you to answer us these in the comments: firstly, have you ever done anything more foolhardy than this in the name of charity; and secondly, have you ever completed an impressive physical feat and followed it with an even more impressive physical feat as a chaser?

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** Click here for Episode 174 **

How gutting for Rowan to be so blatantly reminded that his joint is less fun than the bog in a retirement castle:

The other day, one of our ferrets escaped. After hours of searching he was eventually found in the washroom of a local old people’s home. So Helen and Olly, answer me this: have you ever had pets run away? And did you get them back again?

Rowan, how clearly I remember the day when our two dogs and cat walked across America just to find their way home…the things they must have seen! The perils they faced! The geological features they posed next to!

However, readers, if you’ve experienced the less fictitious loss and return of a pet, by all means share with Rowan by means of the comments.

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